Chapter 21 Ofosua
CHAPTER 21 OFOSUA
ADINKRA SAYING: (Akoma Ntoso) Understanding, agreement.
HELEN ADDO: There is only one rule when dealing with your ex. Make sure you have somebody on your arm.
I was still hiding out in the bathroom when there was a knock. I glanced at my watch. There were only fifteen minutes left until the wedding. If I didn’t hurry up and get it together, I’d be that person sneaking in the back of the church. Then everyone would notice.
My heart was still doing that gallop that made me unsure I wouldn’t faint if I tried walking.
Kukua left me on the settee, and I tried to clutch her hand. “No, don’t open it. Let them go to another one.”
“Relax, I’ll be right back.”
When she opened the door, she sighed. “Ah, there you are. I was starting to worry.”
“I said I’d be here.” The deep voice, which reminded me of smoked whiskey, relaxed me. In walked Cole in all his tuxedoed splendor.
He smiled at me. “You know, this would have been a lot easier if you’d just asked me to be your date like I suggested. I could have picked you up in a nice car, but now I’m picking you up from a bathroom. I mean, it’s a stunning bathroom, but still.”
I laughed. He always knew how to distract me. Exactly what to say to calm me down. Even as I thought it, my heart rate was slowing and my stomach was settling.
Kukua lifted a brow. “Now can we go inside so I can enjoy watching everyone see you look this fly with your date on your arm?”
Cole held out his hand. “I’m here for you, whatever you need. We can go in and I can make every man in the room jealous of my date. If you want to sneak out of here, I can make the rest of the city jealous instead. I think I win either way.”
I laughed through a sniffle. “We’re not sneaking out of here. I spent hours getting ready.”
“And you look fantastic.” His voice dropped an octave. “Good enough to eat. So let’s go show you off.”
I could stay in there and cry, and he would hold my hand. I could tell him that I wanted to go, and he would take me home. And whichever choice I made, he’d tell me it was exactly right.
I lifted my chin and met his gaze. His gray stare was steady. Unwavering. “What do you say?”
When I took his hand, it was firm and warm and sent tingles up my arm as he laced his fingers with mine. “Now, I’m going to need you to forgive me if I embarrass you on the dance floor.”
I laughed. “We don’t have to dance. It’s fine.”
“I’m looking forward to it. I’ve been practicing since before I even got the call. You know, in case I got the chance to have you put me in, Coach.”
I laughed. “When have you ever not been put into a game?”
He chuckled. “That’s a very good point. I’m an excellent athlete. Basketball, actually.”
I blinked owlishly at him. “They let white boys play basketball?”
“Sometimes. Let’s go have some fun.”
And with that, he led me out of the bathroom. We followed Kukua down the marble corridor with the priceless paintings on the walls. Part of me wanted to stop and gaze at them. It didn’t even faze me now that this was supposed to be my wedding venue. That I was supposed to be the one getting married. I felt no sadness. No envy. Nothing, really.
At the entrance to the nave, Cole squeezed my hand. “Are you sure about this?”
I nodded. “Yeah. And Cole?” He leaned into me. To any observer, it just looked like we were having a quiet, intimate conversation. “Thank you.”
“Anytime.”
We walked in and took our seats next to Kukua. At first, no one seemed to notice. And then a low murmur started to spread through the church. I noticed one or two people casually pass a look and then a quick secondary glance over at Cole.
The whole time, Cole held my hand. His thumb stroked over my fingers, and he sat there as if not noticing that we were on display, the objects of scrutiny and gossip.
It was my mother’s reaction that took the cake.
Of course she arrived just a hair before the bride did. Kukua had to wave her and my father down. When they joined us, my mother gave me a cursory glance and I stiffened, ready for the criticism.
“Eh, you look good. You tried for once.”
Not exactly a compliment. Nonetheless, I breathed a sigh of relief, the tension started to roll out of my shoulders, and then she said loudly enough for the people in the front pew to hear, “Eh, but who is this? You look familiar.”
I gave her a tight smile and whispered. “Mum, this is Cole Drake. You met him some time ago at the hospital. Cole, this is my mother, Helen Addo.”
Cole smiled and reached over me to shake her hand. “Dr. Addo, Dr. Addo, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”
He shook my father’s hand, and my father stared at him as if ascertaining what to do with the white man holding his daughter’s hand so blatantly. But when I started to shake off Cole’s hand, he only held on tighter.
My mother blinked, took his hand, and then stared at me as if to ask, What the fuck? But I wasn’t dealing with her questions right now. Besides, he wasn’t the only white guy in the church. Right now, I was focused on keeping my head held high while someone else had my wedding.
I couldn’t let one single crack show, or everyone would talk and exaggerate.
I heard the familiar notes of “Ave Maria” and bit the inside of my mouth. Really? My song too?
Cole noticed the tension in my hand, and so his thumb started working overtime. Soothe, soothe, stroke.
I knew my mother was fuming. She wanted to know all the details. She wanted to ask me all the questions. But she was going to have to wait.
The ceremony was mostly painless, but it was surreal. The one thing that wasn’t mine from the ceremony was the vows. At least I hadn’t left those notes around anywhere.
The bride, Pamela, looked so young. She also looked happy.
But somehow, Yofi looked bored, like always.
Like he didn’t want to be there. That was not the face of a man in love.
That got my attention.
Maybe this was all his parents’ doing, a you can’t humiliate us scenario. I hoped he finally got what he wanted, because as I sat there watching him marry another woman, I realized what I had wanted was the wedding, not the man.
And then all I felt was sweet relief.
Throughout the rest of the ceremony, while rings were exchanged and the attendees were diverted to the plaza for the reception, Cole was right by my side. And then when he saw the layout for dinner, he grinned. “Oh, I cannot wait to eat everything in sight.” I watched him as he clapped his hands gleefully.
He and my father had found something to discuss. Cole actually liked to watch football, as the rest of the world knew it. He and my dad chatted about teams while my mother scowled at them both.
Kukua leaned into me. “If you don’t fuck that white boy tonight, I will have to take one for the team. Jesus, he’s amazing.”
“Seriously?”
“Yes. Don’t you see how he’s looking at you? Like you put a hurt on him and he doesn’t know how he got here, but he never wants to leave.”
I snorted a laugh. “Stop.”
“I’m serious, cuz. He’s giving you the heart eyes.”
I slid my glance back to Cole. He was having fun, or at least looked like it. None of this intimidated him. Not the whispers or the stares, none of it.
He had no shame. He could get out there in the middle of the dance floor among three hundred people he didn’t know and hang. Even Kukua was tired from dancing with him, and she was never tired. When it came time to bust out the handkerchief and really cut loose, she hung with him as long as she could, but then she was exhausted.
At one point she even came to me and said, “Please come and take your obroni boyfriend. He’s making us all look bad. What he lacks in rhythm, he makes up for in enthusiasm . I beg you, go and collect him.”
He was having a plain old good time. And maybe it was time I followed suit.
How was Cole Drake, of all people, the perfect date?
I took him out on the balcony for a rest. His smile was impish and childlike. “Are you having fun?”
“I am, actually. And you look like you’re having fun too.”
“Well, when in Rome, let your hair down.” He started winding his hips again, and I giggled. Halfway through dinner, it was clear people were more interested in my date than me. Which was a blessing if I was honest. Anyone who did stop by to speak was instantly charmed. It was so easy for him.
He’s doing it for you.
“You’re smiling at me. Does that mean you’re not down in the dumps about your ex getting married so soon and using your wedding blueprint?”
I even smiled at that. “You know, thinking about it, all of this wouldn’t have made me happy. Not in the long run. Yes, it’s what my parents wanted. It’s what his parents wanted. It was the expectation. But if you’re asking me if I feel the pang of loss of him getting married today…” I shook my head and then glanced out at the city lights before us. “At first, I thought maybe I was numb from the shock, but I don’t actually feel disappointed . I feel embarrassed, yes. But sad? No.”
“I’m glad to hear it.” He laughed and added, “Did you see how he almost forgot her name, though? Like he had to work really hard not to say your name?”
I brought my hands up to my face, covering my cheeks. “Oh my God, I had such secondhand embarrassment for both of them.”
Cole laughed. “That’s what he gets for hurting my Ofosua.”
“Oh, I’m your Ofosua now, am I?” I asked with a raised brow.
He licked his bottom lip. “Well, it seems I’ve been thinking of you that way for a while now.”
My heart raced and my breathing went shallower as I asked, “Did you ever plan on telling me?”
He rubbed a hand along the back of his neck. “I wanted to give you space in case you were still hung up on him.”
I didn’t know what to say. He was right. He could feel it the same way that I could. It was one thing for us to laugh, and joke, and tease at other times. But now, now it felt real.
His gaze met mine. “You are on my mind all the time. It’s complicated, obviously. And this is probably a really bad idea, but I don’t give a shit. From the moment I saw you, you have been plaguing my mind, and I can’t walk away. I can’t pretend that I don’t feel this anymore.”
I swallowed hard. “Cole.”
“I never hated you, Ofosua. That first day when we met, I was stunned stupid. Like an idiot, I couldn’t talk.”
I held my breath.
Just tell him. But I couldn’t.
He started to pace. “You were so put together and collected. Even my uncle spoke about you like you walked on water or some shit, and there you were, seriously the most stunning creature I’d ever seen in my life, and I couldn’t find the words. Your face was delightful and open, and you were on the verge of a smile. And then I waited too long to say something as simple as ‘hello’ and made you feel… I don’t know how I made you feel, but it couldn’t have been good, because you never looked at me the same way again. And I did that, so I own it. But I wanted you to know why. You have been on my mind since that moment.”
I watched him. “Why didn’t you say something before?”
“Well, we work together, for one. But mostly, I figured I blew it.”
He stepped closer and I backed up against the stone balcony.
“Not quite.”
Our breath comingled. All I could do was breathe in his scent. He smelled like mint and sin and bad decisions. Except those wouldn’t really be bad decisions. Scary ones, yes. Because whatever this was, it wasn’t casual.
“I come with a mess, Cole.”
“I see your mess, and I’ll raise you an even bigger mess that you will hopefully never see.”
And in that moment, I made my choice. I didn’t give a damn about consequences. For once, I was going to do something Ofosua Addo never did: make the same mistake twice.
“Hey, Cole.”
“Yes, Ofosua?”
“Will you hurry up and kiss me already?”
A slow smile spread over his lips. “Bossy.”
I grinned at him. “Assertive.”
He chuckled then, his hands wrapped around my waist. “I like assertive.” And then his lips were on mine.
A slow slide like that moment where you hold your breath before you sink into the kiss and relax, inhaling the other person. I wanted to hold on to this one moment forever. Because as I already knew, Cole Drake could kiss .
His tongue slid around mine in a dance that we’d already been dancing for weeks now. My hands slid up his chest and into his hair, and Cole angled his head. His moan was throaty as his hands gripped me tighter and slid around my waist and over my ass.
In the twilight of New York City, Cole Drake kissed me like I was the breath he’d been searching for, and I kissed him back like he was the answer I’d been looking for.
Cole broke the kiss and dropped his forehead to mine, his eyes mournful. “I’ve kissed you before, haven’t I?”
He knew.
I lifted my gaze to meet his. My voice was a hoarse whisper. “Yes. We met once when I was an intern at a party your uncle had for one of the authors, at his penthouse.” There, I’d said it.
“Fuck.”
“It was my first book party. The Jason Moyner launch. The balcony of your uncle’s penthouse.” My hands shook as I recounted the story of him erasing me. Humiliation seeping through my pores. It was so dumb that it still mattered so much to me.
“Fuuuuck.” I could see as the memory fully dawned. His wide eyes, the way his hands rubbed over his face. “Ofosua. I’m so, so sorry.” He licked his lips and started talking fast. “God, I’m such a fuckup. Now I know why you hated me. I hate me. You know that even bigger mess I mentioned a few minutes ago? The one I said you’d hopefully never see? You already saw it. That night at the party. My dad was lurking outside of my aunt and uncle’s building, waiting for me to arrive. We had a hell of an argument. He asked me to intervene with my aunt to unlock the remainder of his trust fund, like I could even do that. When I said no, the fucker took a swing at me and said that I was no longer his son. Which gutted me. I know it’s hard to believe, but my dad and I were a team growing up, two fun guys against the world. Until we weren’t. When I went upstairs to the party, I started drinking immediately. The champagne I shared with you was not the beginning of my, ah, binge. Or the end. I spent the rest of the night with Tallon, drinking even more to cover up the stink of my father’s rejection. I don’t remember most of that night. Just the argument with my dad and then dim bits and pieces. Turns out the fastest way to a wake-up call is to employ the same coping mechanisms as your fucked-up parents. It’s why I rarely drink now, and if I’m drinking it’s just a beer. As in, one. I’m afraid I’ll turn out just like them. That night was proof I’m not wrong to be afraid. I don’t know if you’ve heard the term ‘blackout drunk,’ but that’s what I was that night. It’s super embarrassing and it’s the truth. It’s also not who I want to be.”
I stared at him. Was he telling the truth? He hadn’t been drinking anything but seltzer at the wedding just now. And I’d only ever seen him clutch a beer at happy hour. But never actually drink that beer, now that I thought about it.
Deep down I wanted to believe him. It was his eyes. There was real fear and worry in them. He desperately wanted me to believe him. “God, that really happened, didn’t it? That’s why I never heard from you.”
“Tallon will tell you.”
I had held on to that balcony scene for years, thinking Cole had forgotten me. “That’s horrible. I thought…” I let my voice trail. The tears pricked my eyes, and I blinked rapidly.
“I—I thought I dreamed you. When I met you again and started having these vivid dreams about how you tasted… it was disconcerting. I’m sorry, Ofos.” He reached for my hand. “Please. Can you ever forgive me?”
I knew what it would mean if I took it. The threshold I would be crossing, what we would mean to each other. And it wasn’t even a choice.
I slipped my hand into his and let him pull me inside onto the dance floor.