Chapter 23
Chapter
Twenty-Three
LARELLIN
“I’m naked,” I say groggily and look up at Vander. “And you’re naked.” My head feels like it’s stuffed full of cotton. “Where—” My memory snaps back, and I try to sit up.
“Shh. I’ve got you.” Vander keeps me in his arms. “You’re safe. You’re unharmed.”
I touch my neck, wincing as I do, but my fingers only meet smooth skin. “What?” For the slightest moment I wonder if it all was a nightmare.
“Do you hurt?” he asks, his palm sweeping down my back.
“No,” I say with slight surprise. How am I not in pain? Sela’s bite—I shudder at the memory of it.
He holds me tighter. “You’re safe, my treasure.”
“You came for me.” I meet his eyes.
“I told you, I will always come for you.”
I close my eyes, trying to remember. “I heard you. But I thought I was imagining it. Could I really hear you?”
“Yes.” His fingers tickle along my spine.
“How?” Dumbfounded doesn’t begin to cover how I feel. “How is that possible?”
“You and I are mates,” he says simply, as if it’s just an everyday fact. Like ‘the washing needs to be hung to dry’ or ‘looks like rain.’
I shake my head. “What does that even mean?”
He cocks his head to the side in a particularly dragon-like way. “Mortals don’t have mates?”
“No. Well, I mean yes. We get married and have children, but we can’t hear each other talking in our heads. That’s … Impossible.” I chew my bottom lip. “Well, maybe not impossible, but I’m certain anyone who said they could hear someone else’s thoughts would be burned at the stake in Raingreen.”
He smirks. “You mortals have such an affinity for executions.”
“I don’t.” I push at his chest, happy to find all my limbs working, despite how ineffectual they are against him.
Wait, shouldn’t I be afraid? Why aren’t I scared of him?
I blink. He used to terrify me. Is it because he saved me?
It’s as if … I don’t know what it is. As if I know him.
As if I’ve known him for a long, long time.
Since we were children or somehow … somehow even before that?
It’s disconcerting, but I can’t deny it.
It’s as if I’m seeing him fully for the first time, and now that I do, I realize he’s familiar.
More than familiar, he’s well-worn. He’s endeared to me.
An old song I used to love and when I catch its lilt, I sing every word by heart. That’s what this feels like.
“Our bond allows us to communicate with each other in the way of all DragonKin.”
“Even though I’m not a Drago—Wait. Go back to this bond thing? What does that mean, exactly?”
“Our mate bond,” he says patiently though his hand has meandered to my waist, tickling along my lower back.
The bridge of my nose stings, tears threatening out of nowhere.
“What is it?” He sits up and pulls me into his lap, then wraps the blanket around me and tucks me under his chin.
“It’s just—” I press my cheek to his warm chest as he leans back against the headboard.
“That’s what she said when sh-she—” I swallow hard.
“She tried to—” I halt again. “She didn’t.
You came, and she stopped. But she was going to take me.
” I shiver again. “She said we would be ma—” I shudder again, the memory like a shard of ice along my spine.
“She said you would be her mate?” He tenses beneath me, his body like a bowstring drawn tight.
I nod, not trusting myself to speak.
“No, my treasure. You are mine as I am yours. None could ever claim you that wasn’t destined for you.”
Destined? I try to think it through, to reason it out, but I can’t, not now that I know the Arbiter put all this into motion.
Not fate. Not the gods. “How do you know that’s even real.
I mean, the bond you’re talking about. It could just be some way to control us, for the Arbiter to pull our strings and make us dance. How—”
“Because of this.” He takes my palm and presses it to his chest. “Right here. Your touch.” His green eyes become my whole world, the steady warmth in them, the way he holds me like I’m precious to him.
“You feel it too. Perhaps not as strongly as I do, not yet, but it’s inside you.
An invisible golden thread from your heart that leads right here.
” He taps my fingers where they lie against his skin and leans forward, pressing his forehead to mine.
“We are fated. I may not know the gods or their plans, but I know you, my treasure. I know what you are to me, and I was a fool to ever doubt it, to be blind to it for so long.”
His words remind me of a dream where I heard him telling me something similar. Where he promised me so much. He said … he said he loved me. I can almost hear him now, as if he truly said those words.
“Calm, Larellin. Calm, my mate.” He kisses my forehead. “Just breathe.”
I close my eyes, breathing him in, simply being here with him.
And slowly, I feel the thrumming of his heart, his heat invading my veins and warming me in that delicious way that belongs only to him.
In the farthest recesses of my mind, I swear I can almost hear a whisper—his whisper.
“You are mine as I am yours.” It’s lulling, almost drugging, the way it engulfs me with a sense of safety I’ve never felt in my entire life.
My fear seems far away now, distant and painless.
Sela can’t touch me here. No one can. Only Vander. Only my dragon.
“You see?” he says softly.
I melt into him, accepting his refuge. It feels right. It feels amazing.
“One day, I’ll need you to tell me, Larellin.” His voice is still soft, so gentle that it makes me want to cry. “What she did. Not until you’re ready. I will wait as long as you need. But I must know. I can’t let you carry it alone.”
A tear escapes and rolls down my cheek. He swipes it away with his thumb, then tilts my chin up and drops a gentle kiss on my lips.
“She won’t stop. She thinks she’s supposed to be the queen of the DragonLands. She—”
“I ripped one of her wings apart, an unhealable wound, and cast her body into the storm.” His eyes go serpentine, the slits dark and deep. “She will never hurt you again, Larellin. Anyone else who dares to touch what’s mine will meet the same fate.”
I take in a shuddering breath, letting that sink in.
She’s gone, her punishment swift and final.
It doesn’t erase what she did to me. Nothing can do that.
But at least I know she won’t be back for me, and she won’t hurt anyone else.
That has to be enough. That has to be the start of my healing from it. I have no other option.
I look at Vander with new eyes. He killed one of his own for me, a Bargain from outside his borders. And from the set of his jaw, I know he’d happily do it again. I may be a mortal, but I have a dragon on my side and, if I’m being honest with myself, in my heart.
He blinks, his pupils going round again. “I swear to you, my treasure, I will protect you. I swear it on my blood, on my line, on the DragonLands of my birth.”
“You can’t promise something like that.” I entwine my fingers with his. “We can’t know what this world holds.”
“I know, Larellin. I know that I would sooner die than let anyone hurt you.” He takes in a deep breath, his eyes closing. “And I know that for me to be fair to you, to be worthy of my oath to you, I have to tell you the truth.”
“The truth?” I rest my head beneath his chin.
He stays silent for long moments. As the quiet grows, I could swear I feel sadness trickling through me, like a slow drip of unknown torment. What is this feeling? I shift, goose bumps rising along my skin. He wraps the blanket more tightly around me, his strong arms keeping me close to his warmth.
“What is this?” I whisper, worry dampening my voice. “I think … I think I can feel it. A deep well of sorrow, and I’ve only glimpsed its surface. It’s inside you. Somehow, I know it’s there. What’s wrong? What do you want to tell me?”
He takes another deep breath. “It’s about the fall of the DragonLands.
About the curse.” His tension rises, his arms tightening around me.
“About my weakness. It is my shame, my failure that led to the fall of the DragonLands.” He pauses, the air growing heavy.
I run my thumb back and forth along his fingers where our hands are still joined.
Sela told me he’d betrayed his family, but I knew then as I know now, there has to be more to it. Nothing she said was free of a barb.
“Just tell me what happened. I’m here, Vander.
I’m not going anywhere.” And not just because I don’t think I could escape him if I tried.
Actually, I did try, and that didn’t work out for me, thankfully.
He saved me. I’ve come to realize he’s saved me many times over, starting with the moment he took me from the battlements of Raingreen.
“When my father pardoned the warriors of the warring clans, he thought it would bring peace to all DragonKin. He wanted no more war, not after the infighting had cost him so dearly. He’d put down the rebellion, but he lost a wing in the final battle.
” He strokes my hair softly as if it comforts him.
“To a DragonKin, losing a wing is like losing a piece of one’s soul.
An injury that can’t be healed. To never touch the sky again, to be forever bound to the land when you’re meant to soar above it.
It broke my father, but even then, he still wanted what was best for the DragonLands.
He wanted the peace to last. And it did …
for a time. We entered a century of reconciliation where all houses of DragonKin strove to work together to make the DragonLands a beacon of hope within Oblivion.
The factions all seemed to have united behind my father’s banner. ”
“I hear a rather large ‘but’ coming up.” Trepidation creeps up my spine.