Chapter 29 – June
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
JUNE
“We’ll be back soon.”
Bennett kisses my forehead before he pulls away. I fight back a complaint as I look at him and Seth. Arin left for Paris this morning to finalize the deal he left on the table last week. I know they all have things to do, jobs to actually show up for, but everything feels wrong today.
Seth steps back into the foyer, rubbing his hands together. “Bags are in the car.” He moves closer to us and wraps his arms around Bennett and I. “We’re ready to go.”
I turn and a small, pathetic whine actually slips out as I tuck myself between the two of them.
Bennett sighs, stroking my hair. “I’m so sorry, darling. Arin said Theo would keep an eye on you and the house — we’ll be back as soon as we can.”
The last twenty four hours have been accompanied by a weird, floaty feeling in my body that I can only assume is because of the upcoming heat. According to the ridiculous pamphlets Bennett had — it’s close, but close could mean imminent or take another four to five days for it to set in.
Basically, it made more sense for them to go ahead and take care of what they needed to, and be present for whatever happens in the next few days. And even though this pack isn’t mine in the bonded sense, my omega is screaming at the idea of both Arin and Bennett being gone, and Seth not being by my side.
It leaves me with only Theo — the same Theo who gave me enough stuff that it took Seth and I two hours to sort through it and carry it up to the nest. I still couldn’t bear the thought of sleeping alone in there, so I ended up between Bennett and Seth in their bed last night.
“I’ll be okay.” I suck in a breath, staring up at them. “I’m an adult.”
Seth kisses my cheek. “I’ll keep you updated the entire time. We’ll be back in twenty-four hours, max. I promise, baby.”
“And I left food.” Bennett gives me a sad look. “It’s all in the fridge, please eat it. You’ll need your energy and I want to make sure you’re getting something nutritious.”
I nod, licking my lips before I throw myself at them again, one last time, choking back tears. When I finally pull away, I wrap my arms around myself, hating how needy and clingy I feel as they walk down the steps to the car. I linger in the doorway, watching until they pull away.
Slamming the front door shut behind me, I lock it and press a hand against my burning eyes.
I already feel like I’m being cleaved in half just by the simple act of saying goodbye to them. It was even worse with Arin this morning. I shed more than a couple tears when he held my face and vowed he’d be back before the ink dried.
Hanging my head, I inhale and pull away from the door. I haven’t seen Theo since yesterday. He’s been lurking somewhere in the house, hiding from me, and the thought makes my chest ache as I bite my tongue and head upstairs. I completely bypass the guest room and slink into Seth and Bennett’s room, lying down on the bed and turning my head to press it into Bennett’s pillow.
His scent is stuck to the fabric, and it envelops me as I lay there.
The orange circles my senses. I wish there was a way to bottle the smell of him. Or, better yet, glue him to my side like a little barnacle on my hip or something. I wouldn’t even care if Seth came with him. And I’d have a whole other hip free for Arin.
I might be slightly losing it .
I don’t know how long I linger, losing time as I drift in and out of feeling flushed and nauseous. My skin is tight and sticky with sweat when I finally stir, my stomach cramping. I curl up on the bed, wincing and pressing a hand to my stomach. I want them back. I want them all back right now — but I can’t have them.
Squeezing my eyes shut, tears well as I sit on the bed. Fuck this. Fuck being an omega.
I want someone to hold me and tell me it’s going to be okay.
Forcing myself to move, I crawl off the bed, moving to their closet and ripping open the drawers inside of it. I grab handfuls of shirts, the softest fabrics they own that are left. Bringing them up to my nose, I inhale, then turn, charging out of the room and back downstairs. I repeat the process in Arin’s room, leaving it an absolute wreck as I take my stolen items all the way up to the third floor. Shoving the door to the nest open, I storm into it, letting it swing mostly shut behind me as I stare at the mattress.
The room is missing so much.
There are still bags of unopened blankets and supplies, but as I drop the clothes onto the bed, I turn and rifle through the ones Theo left for me. My hands find two prizes — the soft, blue blanket that smells like rainwater and the worn sweatshirt he tucked in with it. There’s lingering smells in the room, but they’re faded, and nothing has the level of intensity I want to it.
I should have listened to the pamphlets. I should have made them all sleep in here with me instead of trying to fight it.
I flop down to the mattress, pulling the sweatshirt over my already tangled hair, and shoving my face into the blanket, my shoulders shaking as I succumb to the ache in my chest, letting the tears fall where they may.
I must fall asleep, because the next thing I know, a voice is rousing me from a hazy dream. Hands and kisses on my bare shoulders. A soft accent talking me through it. The smells of fudge, orange, and mint mixing — overpowered by pouring rain drenching me head to toe .
“June?”
Stirring, I glance around at the nest, disoriented by how dark it is, nothing cluing me into what time it could even be.
“June!”
I sit up, wincing as my abdomen cramps again, my throat dry and raspy. “Theo?”
The door to the nest nearly hits the wall as he throws it open. Theo stops short of walking fully in and I can see his muscles straining as he holds onto the door frame, breathing hard.
“Jesus — I didn’t know where you were —” He pauses, his eyes zeroing in on me in the center of the nest.
Pulling in on myself, I drag the blanket closer, aware of how tiny the bed makes me feel. Alone in the center of the mattress, I fist the blanket against my chest, huddled in his sweatshirt.
“Are you feeling okay?”
There couldn’t be a worse time for him to finally show his face.
I shake my head at him, glancing down at the blanket and picking at the soft fabric. This stupid alpha, who flits between hot and cold, who poured me wine, bought me gifts, and is the reason I’ve not responded to any of my mother’s angry text messages in the last week.
He’s also the same alpha who made me feel like fucking garbage .
I glance up at him as a flash of anger goes through me. “Why do you ask? Do you suddenly give a shit? Or are you going to feel bad if you kick me out of the house when no one else is here and I don’t feel well?”
Theo leans back, his fingers turning white on the doorframe. “I told Arin I’d make sure you were alright, and I fucking meant it. I’m not kicking you out.”
“Don’t bother trying to smooth things over now,” I spit the words at him, kneeling up. “You and I both know you probably just told Arin that so he’d get off your back.”
He laughs, his eyes narrowing to sharp points. “Arin hasn’t been on my back, but from what I know, he’s had you on yours .”
“You’re a dick .” I stand up, stalking closer to the door, but not near enough to touch him, or him to reach me — especially since he’s still respecting the rules of the nest, dutifully outside of it because I’ve not extended an invite.
Tension hangs in the air, crackling like it’s waiting for a reason to ignite.
His lips twitch as he looks down at me. The dark blue of his eyes glimmers as he takes me in, his eyes darting down my body, stopping on my bare legs. I know what he’s seeing. I know he’s seeing me in this sweatshirt and thinking that he already won.
And maybe he did . Because for how angry my heart is, my body is reacting to his presence like it always has. That undeniable allure that I would have acted on already if he knew how to shut the fuck up .
“Stop it,” I snap at him, heat warming the back of my neck. “You don’t get to look at me like that when you can’t stand me.”
Theo raises his eyes from my legs, burning my face. “Seems like I’m standing fine, princess, and so are you in my sweatshirt .”
I’m so tired of the cheeky jokes, the back and forth — I glare at him.
“So what? You’re the one who gave it to me . What happened to hating me? You practically shouted it from the rooftops the first night I was here.”
Theo winces. “I didn’t —” His jaw clenches, then he snarls, leaning closer. “I couldn’t fucking stand you, is that what you want to hear? I thought Seth was the stupidest son of a bitch in the entire world to run to the center and bring you home. All that was missing was the cardboard box and the new toys to play with.”
“I’m not a fucking stray cat!”
He shakes his head, sucking in a deep breath. “No, you aren’t.” His eyes trail over me again, “And the more I got to see you, the more I saw the way they all gravitated toward you, the angrier I got. Do you want to know why, June?”
He’s the only one who shortens my name and makes it sound like a curse. Arin always says ‘ Juniper ’ like he’s one second away from donning a Mr. Darcy cosplay and strolling across a foggy field to reach me. Bennett’s ‘ Juniper ’ is the one who embraces him, who’s allowed to just be . Seth’s ‘ June ’ is the total goddamn disaster that brought me here in the first place.
I swallow, my throat tight.
“Because they had you,” Theo whispers the words. “And I didn’t .”
I suck in a breath, staring at him as he lowers his arms from the door, just standing there.
“And god, do I want you.”
I can’t think. My heart pounds in my chest. The whole time he’s wanted me? Like some twisted playground game of a boy pushing a girl into the dirt because he didn’t know how to handle his own feelings?
Fuck that .
“I can’t do this.” I bristle, stepping forward. “Let me go. I’m leaving — I don’t know — I can’t be here.”
Theo blocks the door.
“Call me a fucking asshole, scream at me until you can’t speak, but don’t you dare walk out, June. Not when you were crying, not in my goddamn sweatshirt, under my care.”
“So you get to run from me, but I can’t?” I snap at him. “You get to berate me and yell at me? You get to tell me I’m just looking for a rich pack, that I’m not welcome here? But I’m supposed to accept it? Boo fucking hoo, Theo, so Arin will yell at you if I leave — guess what? He left me . And I was too stubborn to admit that I needed him — that I needed all three of them. Instead, they just left me with you and I don’t know what’s worse — that they didn’t stay or that I still want you, despite everything.”
His face breaks, and my chest smarts at his expression. “I shouldn’t have said those things to you.”
“No, you shouldn’t have.” I whisper the words, my voice shaking. “And that’s not an apology. You hurt me, Theo. Maybe I wouldn’t be trying to bolt from you if I didn’t feel like you hated my very existence.”
The normally calming, soft scent of him reaches me and it’s tinged with stress, like muddy water. It makes me want to go to him, to comfort him, and I fight it with every ounce of my being. He doesn’t get that from me.
“You’re right.” His eyes lock on mine. “I’m sorry for the things I said.” His foot moves, and he stops short, looking distressed at the door frame, like it’s what is keeping him from entering the nest. “You deserve an apology, a true one. It’s not an excuse, but I think I need to realize that my… want to be around you wasn’t something that was wrong or that I needed to avoid.” His voice softens, and I watch his jaw clench. “In pushing you away, I became exactly what I was trying to avoid. And I’m sorry for that. I’m sorry for my words and my actions.”
I stare at him, my heart raising in my throat. “How am I supposed to believe you?”
“ How am I supposed to believe you’re telling me the truth? ” My mother’s voice echoes in my head, making bile rise in the back of my throat. “ How am I supposed to know this isn’t just you wanting to sell your stories to anyone who will listen to them? ”
Regardless of how hard I’ve tried. I’m just like her at the end of the day.
Theo’s expression crumbles as my body begs me to embrace him, to let him into this space that’s supposed to be mine. It’s missing his scent — it’s missing him .
“Fuck” — his voice breaks — “the second I smelled you, I needed you, June. Every goddamn day I thought I was different from every other alpha out there, better than them. Then you walk in and make it impossible to ignore. I heard you that night — in the hallway outside of Seth and Bennett’s door — touching yourself.”
I gasp as he licks his lips, barreling forward without hesitation now that the words are pouring out.
“I could hear your wet fingers slipping as you tried to rub your desperate little clit, and I thought, ‘ Good, let her her be on the fucking edge like I’ve been this entire time. Let her feel the same thing she’s made me feel. I hope she doesn’t come. I hope her legs shake so much she can’t go back to her room .’”
I balk at his words.
“And I heard them fucking you, too.” Theo leans closer, his eyes darkening. “I saw Seth under your thighs as you rode his face and whined. Then I went downstairs and heard Arin making you beg, making you say he fucked you better than they did. And I was ready to tell him that I couldn’t stay here because you’ve driven me to insanity.” He laughs, pushing a hand through his hair. “And then I got hit in the face with your sweet honey slick, dripping out while he fucked you, invading my brain. And I ran because I wanted to burst in there, but I also knew I couldn’t. I couldn’t after all the shitty things I’ve said and done, and isn’t that just like me, to ruin something good before I’ve even gotten it? I can’t get you out of my head, June, and I think I’ve finally decided I don’t want to.”
My heart races as I stare at him. This man, this alpha , who unlike Bennett with his quiet assurance, or Arin with his uncanny ability to get me to let go — Theo is my option to be me .
I want to be a fucking nightmare with him. I want to feel too much. I want to scream. I want to tear my hair out. He makes me want to spiral and unravel in every terrible way.
“I can’t do this clean.” I stare at him, my heart in my throat. “Not like I do with the others.”
Theo stares me down. “So be messy for me.” He goes quiet for a moment and his next words eviscerate me. “Be bad. Act out. Fight me. I’m not going to run away when I see your ugly side. I showed you mine, now you show me yours.”
And just like that, my decision is made.
I take a step back, breathing out. “You can’t come into this nest until I invite you, right?”
His eyes narrow. “Arin would kill me if I did.”
I nod, then I tug on the sweatshirt, padding backwards as I stare at him. I slipped on the little satin set that Theo bought me last night before bed with Bennett and Seth. It was the only thing that felt good on my heated skin, the fabric soft and the straps falling off my shoulders. The little shorts are barely long enough to cover half my ass and I know he can see it as I turn around and bend over, crawling on my hands and knees to the center of the nest.
“Good.” Turning, I flop back, staring up at him in the doorway. “Because I’m about to make you watch me come while I wear your sweatshirt, in the pajamas you bought me, surrounded by the blankets you gave me for my nest.”
His fingers clench on the doorframe, making it creak as I slip my fingers into the shorts and slide them down my legs, kicking them away just to spread my thighs for him.
“And I didn’t want to wear underwear today.”
“ June .”
“Maybe I won’t even invite you in, and your punishment will be watching me get off until Seth or Bennett or Arin get home.” I feel a flare of heat crawl through me as he gives me a tortured look. “I mean if you’ve already watched them fuck me, it won’t be new for you.”
He groans, his eyes wild as he drinks me in.
I drop back to a pillow, already warm with his sweatshirt still on my upper half. Sliding a hand over my chest, I ruck it up, pushing the silky top with it and flashing him my breasts.
“Oops.”
Theo snarls as I press a hand over one, then the other.
“Arin likes my thighs. Seth likes my pussy. Bennett likes my mouth…” I glance up at him, grinning wickedly. “What do you like, alpha?”
His resolve snaps, his eyes going black as he growls, “Let me in.”
“Is that an order?” I look up at him as I move to cup my dripping pussy. When my fingers slip, they make a messy, wet sound between my legs as I sigh, “Ask nicely.”
I watch him struggle, greatly enjoying seeing him shatter as he whispers a broken, “ Please .”
I preen as I lean back, pulling my hand away from myself. “Come in, Theo.”
He strides in without another word, ripping his shirt off. I get a glimpse of the patchwork of tattoos on his pale skin before he jumps down into the nest with me, covering my body with his. His hand slides into my hair, jerking my head up as he kisses me roughly.
I gasp as his jeans rub against me, feeling him sink every single unspoken word into the kiss. Arching into him, I moan as he cups a breast, his voice rough. “Fuck every single one of them. You’re mine , and when I’m done with you, you won’t be able to fucking crawl out of this nest.”
I moan as he ruts his hips against mine, my head spinning as I gasp his name. “ Theo .”
He groans, kissing me again before he drags his tongue over my throat. “I was an idiot. I was a fucking idiot, June, please forgive me.” Theo’s head drops to my chest, staying there as he breathes in and out like he’s barely holding himself together, his voice breaking. “I like every inch of you. I couldn’t pick a favorite part. Your mind, your stubbornness, your ability to drive me to insanity — all of you.”
His hands drop down, grabbing onto my hips, and suddenly I’m in the air . I shriek as he sits up, bringing me down onto his lap, one hand on the back of my head to keep me stable as he grins and rolls his hips up into mine. The pressure is even better, and swallowed in his sweatshirt, with him right against me, all I can smell is his scent, all I know is him .
“I like the sounds you make too, especially when you say my name.”
I straddle him, shifting so my legs fall open. Glancing up, I run my fingers through his hair, twisting the locks between my fingers. “Any way I say it?”
“Oh, I plan on making you sigh it.” Theo leans in and nips my lip, kissing me as he tugs at the sweatshirt. He manages to pull it over my head and the cool air sends a shiver up my spine.
Theo’s eyes dart down to the sham of a silk top, cataloguing my breasts as it does nothing to hide my hardened nipples. His hands grab it and in seconds it’s gone too, into the piles of clothes around us.
“You’re going to whine it.” He lifts me with one hand, not even grunting as he shoves his jeans down. I bend, helping him get them off his legs as the smell of his fresh perfume hits me, making me dizzy as he presses a hand against the small of my back, both of us finally naked.
“You’re going to scream it for me, princess.”
I tug him against me by his hair, kissing him hungrily as he pulls my hips down on top of his, grinding up against me. The feeling is indescribable. He’s shorter than the rest of them, but he makes up for it in thickness and girth. I rut forward, canting my hips into his, chasing the feeling of working myself on him, slicking him up without meaning too.
“I want to fuck you.” He mutters the words through a pained groan. “But I want to make sure this isn’t only your heat making you want me because I’m the closest alpha.”
I lift my head, grabbing onto his chin and forcing him to look at me. “Theo.”
He raises his eyes, his hair mussed, his pupils blown out as he breathes heavily.
“You’re going to fuck me.” I bite the words out, my eyes narrowing so I can make sure he understands me. “I don’t care if it’s selfish, but you don’t get to push me away after this. Don’t tell me it was nothing. Don’t hurt me. I know what it’s like to be scared and I’m a fucking hypocrite after everything but —”
He grabs my chin, kissing me deeply as his other hand rests on my ass, guiding my hips against his. “Are you sure?”
“Stop talking.” I hold onto him as I breathe out against his lips, about to plunge myself down on top of him if he doesn’t shut up. “I’m lucid. I invited you into my nest. You’re the only one who will have fucked me in here. I want you to be the first.”
He moans as I grind down. “I’m the first?”
“You’re the first, so you better atone for your sins, Theo. No one else will do it for you.”
He kisses me again, desperation behind it as he grabs onto my hips and lifts me. I feel him brush against my thighs, and I don’t even see him before he lines us up and drops me down on top of himself. I gasp, my body locking up for a moment at the sudden intrusion. He’s so thick, a too-full burn lingers before my body suddenly gives and it’s euphoria .
My back bows from the pleasure, holding onto his shoulder with one hand and the edge of the nest with the other as he works himself into me with slow, deep thrusts. I don’t think anyone else could take him except an omega, and I must be fucking made for it because the second our hips collide and he’s fully seated, save for his knot kissing my entrance, I want to sob from how good it all feels.
Theo grunts, holding himself still for a moment before he lifts me with a hand, pumping his thighs up and bouncing me. Our skin ripples together, and the stretch marks on my stomach brush the echoes of the ones on his.
“You’re right, I should be groveling.” He leans forward. “But the thing about me is” — he drops me down to the mattress as he pounds into me — “being on my knees wouldn’t let me have you like this. ” He kisses me heatedly, moving his lips to my chest, sucking on each of my nipples. “But maybe I can do that later.”
My nails claw up his shoulders as he pushes me back into the pile of pillows. His lips suck on my skin as he growls, “I’m not going to bite or knot you either, but I’m going to leave every inch of this pretty skin red and make you wish I did.”
He grabs my hips, pumping into me rapidly. He’s fucking me so hard we shift up the nest, inch by inch. Theo’s lips leave bright red hickeys all over me, making his way up to my throat until he can suck on my pulse point, moaning, “You smell so good, princess. You feel like goddamn heaven around me, so wet and tight .”
I shiver at the nickname, fluttering around him, because unlike every other time he’s said it with derision, this time, in my nest, with him buried inside me — it sounds reverent .
“I feel you clenching around me. You just can’t help yourself, can you?” He drops a hand between us, rubbing my clit quickly. “That’s okay. I can finish you off. I can make you scream louder than any of them, and it’s a damn shame they’re not here to hear it. Are you going to come for me? Are you going to make this nest smell like we’ve been fucking in it every single second they’ve been gone? Where do you want it, June? In you? On you?”
I cry out as he moves faster. “On me!”
His eyes flash, almost black, his lips pulling back in a snarl. “Done.”
I spiral out, unable to hold back as I turn my head, biting down on his forearm to muffle my scream as I climax around him. All my muscles tense, but he pulls out in a rush, reaching down and stroking himself, wrapping a hand around his knot and strangling it as he leans up, coming with a broken groan all over my chest and stomach.
He gives me every last fucking drop before he sinks down, his head dropping as his arm shakes beside my head.
I breathe hard, staring down at the mess, my eyelids drooping as he slides a hand through his cum, humming softly. One thumb rubs it in a little circle over my nipple, and his smile is slightly deranged as he mutters, “I should probably have fed you dinner. We’re not going to leave this nest anytime soon, are we?”
My lips twitch as I sink back, spreading my legs wide, splaying out for him. “No, we’re not.”
Theo pauses, his eyes roving over me like he’s taking a thousand mental pictures. His thumb strokes over my other nipple, and then he lifts his hand and sucks his own cum off, smirking slowly.
“That’s what I like to hear, princess.”
I grin, laughing as he kisses me again, his weight settling on top of me as I wrap my legs around him, tilting my hips up to rub against his already semi-hard cock. It slips back into me and we both make little noises of surprise as he begins to pump his hips slowly again, his breath heating up the side of my face as he clings to me.
“You feel so fucking good. You’re so warm around me.”
I score my nails through his hair, jerking his head back to mine so I can kiss him hungrily, devouring his mouth as he ruins me for anyone else.
We can stop when we get too hungry to keep going.
But that’s going to take a while.