Chapter 51 Colson
fifty-one
Colson
“You have bad fucking luck,” Howie taunts, his face filling my phone screen. “How are you getting into trouble in a city called Golden Harbor? Seems like a joke.”
Scrubbing my hands over my face, wishing I wasn’t having to have this conversation, I say, “You know what happened. Quit torturing me… What’s the deal with the teams?”
It’s been a few days since the sports news cycle got hold of the grainy rendition of my interaction with Nick.
Sadie heard from another parent, asking a few questions, before she decided that being transparent was the way to go.
After an email providing enough detail without making it awkward, and reiterating that parents are always welcome to sit in on practice, things seem better than I predicted.
Even Emma came back to practice, her mom offering me a slight smile and a wave when she dropped her off.
It’s not that I need everyone to like me, but it’d be nice to know they didn’t think I was so out of control I couldn’t be trusted with their kids.
A few parents sat in during camp and my anxiety was damn near crippling every time one of them was waiting for me at the end of practice, but it turns out they wanted to introduce themselves, some of them only just realizing I was “that” Colson.
My agent continues, “Well, you’re going to need some preliminary interviews. AKA, they want to know what happened at that last game.”
I nod, knowing this was coming in one way or another. “That makes sense.”
Howie continues, “Some of the offers are gone. After the photo. But—” he lifts his hands like he’s trying to keep me calm, “there’s enough interest from other teams that I’m still confident you’ll find a spot.
They’re requesting visits this weekend. I can work on the travel plans if you’re cool with that? ”
“I can do early next week but not this weekend. Rec center things.” It’s the first weekend of the tournament and our team will play on Friday night.
“You mean Sadie things…” He wiggles his eyebrows.
I’m not hiding this thing with her from him. It’s not worth it. My hope is that she’s going to be part of my life for a long time—fuck, maybe forever. In order to do that, I can’t hide. Can’t run. And can’t act like she’s not one of the best things that’s been mine.
This thing with Sadie? It’s high stakes. And I’m all in.
“Yes, Sadie things.” I agree to get him off of it. “I made a commitment to her and the kids. The teams will have to wait. I hope they understand.” It’s a youth basketball camp, for crying out loud.
“I’ll let you know if I hear otherwise,” he says before ending the call.
The thought that teams want to pass on me over some trash tabloid is bullshit. But I can’t do anything about it. The thing that’s always been the case is there are two sides to every story—including the night on the bench I still haven’t publicly commented on.
So, here’s the plan. I’m going to meet with the teams who are interested and I’m going to tell them the honest, cross-my-heart-and-hope-to-die story–start to finish.
From my injury to the rushed recovery, questionable practices, and the on-court blow up that was really me protecting one of my favorite rookie players.
Then, I’m going to call my head coach. Or, my ex-head coach. He was always decent to me and I find it very hard to believe that he was in on anything like this. He deserves to know and understand why I acted that way. Why I waited to come forward.
No matter what, I don’t want to play for Chicago. I’m not trying to get my spot back or anything like that; I want to be an honest man. I’ve been through a lot of shit and I feel like a fresh start with a new team is what I need right now.
And lastly, there will be a public statement.
I want everything out in the open before I make a decision, if it’s my choice, on a new team.
This might sway the public opinion, or it might look like I’m trying to save my ass with this tall tale, but I know I’ll have enough people that back me up to give me a fighting chance.
Sometimes, you have to fight. That’s what this is: me showing up, trying to move forward.
Hands press into my shoulders and then arms hold onto me from behind.
“How was the call?” Sadie asks, dipping down and setting her chin on my shoulder. I swear, I can feel her grinning.
I kiss her cheek and give her the highlights.
She hums behind me, arms tightening, like she’s holding the pieces together just by being there. Her chin shifts, settling more comfortably on my shoulder, her breath warm against my neck.
I turn my head enough to catch her smile out of the corner of my eye. It’s soft, almost like a promise. One that makes me believe the universe has a hand in our lives.
“What if it doesn’t work?” I ask quietly.
She straightens, her chin lifting from my shoulder before she steps closer so she can lean in again—this time her cheek brushing mine.
“Then we deal with it,” she answers simply.
“But it will work. Maybe not in the neat, movie-montage way. But you’re telling the truth.
You’re showing up. That counts for something. ”
Her fingers squeeze my shoulders, grounding me. “You’re not the guy people are trying to make you out to be. Anyone who actually listens will see that.”
I swallow. My chest feels too full, like everything is pressing outward at once.
“Hey,” she murmurs, nudging me gently. “Look at me.”
I turn to face her, knees brushing hers. Sadie cups my face with both hands, thumbs warm against my jaw, eyes steady and bright.
“You’re going to be okay,” she says, like it’s not a guess but a promise. “I have no doubt in my mind.”
Something in me breaks open at that. Fuck, it’s been breaking open since I met her. The fear starts to evaporate, replaced by this overwhelming, almost dizzying affection.
I stand before I even realize I’m moving. Her hands slide down to my shoulders instinctively, laughing a little in surprise when I scoop her up.
“Hey—” she starts, but it dissolves into a grin as I lift her like she weighs nothing and set her on the counter.
She settles there easily, knees bumping my hips, arms looping around my neck. We’re eye to eye now, close enough that I can see every tiny fleck of color in her irises.
“I love you,” I say, the words spilling out without hesitation. They feel solid. Certain.
Her smile is gentle, something tender and shining in it. “I love you, too.”
I lean in, pressing my forehead to hers, hands firm at her waist, and for the first time in what feels like forever, the future doesn’t scare me.
It feels like it might be worth it after all.