46. Ash
Chapter 46
Ash
We were in the training center again. Sparring, except now Kane knew what I’d tried to hide from him for so long. He moved out of the ring and tossed a knife toward me that I easily caught. “I know how to use one of these.” I smiled, balancing the tip of the blade on my finger. Kane had been distant and had possibly been avoiding me ever since I found out who he really was.
“Yes, so you’ve already demonstrated, but you’re getting winded both physically and mentally from using your ability. It’s fading on you, isn’t it?”
He threw a knife my way, and I dodged to the side, but barely. I didn’t want to admit how weak I felt after so little time training with it. My ability already flickered like a candle in the dark.
“It happens to all of us. If I’m defeated physically, it’s harder to hear thoughts. I’ve collapsed into oblivion for days before. ”
“How?”
“Our abilities are based on us using more portions of our brains than normal people. Too much use can be damaging to your mind. Sleeping and passing out is the brain’s way of protecting itself from over exertion.”
“Has anyone ever died from overusing an ability?”
He nodded. “I’ve seen it once—I’ve also seen people pass out for days, but it’s like any muscle. The more you train it, the easier it will be to use. That’s why I was trying to find it sooner, so I could help.”
He slashed out with his knife, and I dodged it again. This was the first time either of us dared broach the subject that festered between us like rotten meat.
“Yeah, well, you could have just told me who you were.”
“You know why I couldn’t do that.” He sliced out, intentionally missing, and I grabbed his wrist, spinning and elbowing him, causing him to drop the knife out of his hand. A move he had drilled into my head over and over. His arm came around me from behind, reaching for my knife. I threw my hips backward and pulled on his arms until he flipped over the top of me and landed on his back. I sprang into action and dove on top of him, putting my knife to his throat.
He chuckled from below me. “Oh, so she does learn.”
“What are you going to tell Maximus? I imagine he is getting antsy to know my secrets,” I asked through heavy breaths.
“Let me worry about that.”
I stared down at him and pressed the knife slightly harder into his throat. Trust was a fickle thing. “I don’t think so. I might remember you, but I still don’t trust you completely.” He’d been Kane for so long, I was having a hard time fathoming that he was the same gray-eyed boy I grew up with. Gabe also came to my mind, I thought I trusted him once too.
His steely eyes churned, and his lips pulled into a thin line. He leaned closer to me, the knife pressing harder into his throat. “I’m. Not. Him.”
Damn him. He was reading my emotions again. He knew how badly I’d been wounded by Gabe’s betrayal and how hard it would be for me to trust anyone ever again. The ache of embarrassment and hurt clouded my mind. I hated that he could see all of me and how broken I was. I stood suddenly, pulling the knife away from his throat and dropping it on the floor. The only sound in the room was the metal clinging against the concrete and my footfalls retreating.
“Where are you going, Blondie?” Kane called from behind me.
I was too afraid to turn around and face him. “We’re done for the day,” I called back, and my voice cracked. I opened the door to where Sam stood to take me back to my room. Kane let me go without another word. Emotion clogged up my throat, but I held it all together until I got back to my room. As soon as the door shut, I grabbed on to the windowsill for support as I stared out into the day and tried to contain the emotions that bubbled to the surface.
What was the definition of a broken person? Because at that moment, I felt more broken and alone than I had ever felt before. How could I ever trust anyone? Even the boy that I remembered from my past—the boy that brought me so much peace and comfort—couldn’t be trusted. The boy I knew as Jackson was in the past; he was Kane now.
I questioned everything. Who could I trust? I needed to talk to Gabe and see if I could get him on our side.
A sense of being irrevocably lost hit me hard. It felt like I was wandering through a foggy forest with no sunlight to guide me out.