4. Skylar
4
SKYLAR
I couldn’t tell if I was proud of myself for not diving face first into Kit’s lap, or if I’d just been the biggest idiot on the planet. Daddy Big Bucks and I had an open sort of agreement, but I never had the heart to test it out. Even if, as I often had to remind myself, we weren’t in an actual relationship.
That said, I needed my tiny crush on Kit to stay in my imagination, where it belonged. While I had enjoyed the kiss and even kissed him back a little, no good would come of exploring anything in that direction. So, I practically ran out to my Porsche, threw my things in the passenger seat, and took off like my ass was on fire. I made it all the way to the highway before my mind registered the car’s dinging reminder to put on my seatbelt.
As I made the long drive home, I couldn’t help but turn the evening over in my head. Kit had clearly been interested, and what was torturing me was how big his interest was. That he seemed protective of me when I started talking about my sugar baby work felt kinda . . . nice. In reality, the number of people who had my back was thin on the ground. Hell, I didn’t have much in the way of people beyond Rowdy and his family, who I’d basically stolen as my own.
I checked out the night sky and wondered if the stars had any answers for me.
A notification went off as I pulled into Austin. I knew without looking that it would be Kit, and he’d be offering some sort of sheepish apology. The thought of him regretting our exchange turned my stomach. I didn’t want him to be sorry for being attracted to me, even if it was just the alcohol talking.
If I was being honest with myself, though, I was also a little tired of being treated like a sex object. Maybe it didn’t make any sense, wanting to be appreciated for my assets without being treated like one, but I was a human being, not some testing ground for a hot guy’s latent sexuality.
Ugh. Make up your mind, Sky.
By the time I pulled into my premium parking space, I was looking forward to taking out my sexual frustrations on Daddy Big Bucks. Rich wasn’t much in the sack—hello, if he were, I’d be out of a job—but he’d do.
At least he would’ve done if I hadn’t gone and read Kit’s message.
txrancher87: Can we pretend that never happened?
Yep. Exactly what I figured he would do. Sighing, I typed out my response.
Me: Sure, Kit. You were under the influence. Like I said, I won’t hold it against you.
txrancher87: Thanks. You’re a great guy, and I never want you to feel disrespected.
Me: Cowboy, you could disrespect me anytime.
I grimaced the second I hit Send. Mixed messages, even in my own head.
txrancher87: lol.
Me: Are you trying to be funny with that lol?
txrancher87: Only if it made you laugh.
I sent him the Ron Burgundy we are laughing GIF.
txrancher87: Ha.
txrancher87: Also, that stinky ointment is workinggg.
Me: Good night, then, cowboy. Get some rest. And don’t forget—if I see you walking around without your brace, I will kick you in the knee.
txrancher87: Wow. You’re bossy and mean.
Me: Don’t forget it, bitch.
I cackled as I reached the elevator, unable to help myself. I got an unreasonable amount of joy calling him a bitch, if only because the merest whiff of gay always sent him into a tight-lipped panic. Which, of course, made me want to smack him with a gay bat until he was willing to split me in two with his impressive cock.
Sure, I only saw the outline of that thing, but I recognized a two-hander when I saw one.
Double ugh. Stop thinking about Kit’s dick.
I adjusted myself in my pretty slacks, then punched in the door code and entered the gorgeous condo Rich’s company owned. I walked in and set my bag on the bar separating the kitchen from the living area, my expensive shoes a sharp staccato on the high-end tile.
“Honey, I’m horny!” I giggled. “I mean, I’m home!”
Rich had little in the way of stamina or flexibility, but he was always willing to pop whatever pills were necessary to get the job done. The answering silence, therefore, was confusing. I cocked my head to the side and looked around the condo. Because it was Rich’s company property, it had come preloaded with art and furniture. Despite all the things filling the space, it had an empty quality that gave me a cold pit in my stomach.
Maybe he got called away on business?
I quickly made my way into the room we shared and . . . fuck. Nothing but an unmade bed and an empty walk-in closet. Still not able to believe he’d up and leave me without a word, I checked his office, which stood empty, save for the provided office furniture and monitor.
I pulled my phone out in a rush, realizing I’d had my social media app open this whole time. I switched over to my messaging app and the dread in my stomach almost became projectile.
DBB: Sorry, baby boy. The board re-prioritized this project and I’ve been called back to the home office. I left a gift for you in the top drawer.
I hadn’t seen the message because I had turned off my notifications when I joined the family for pasta night. Then I got sidetracked by the cowboy, and now this. Numb, I walked back into our bedroom and pulled open the top drawer.
In it was cash—a lot of cash—and a diamond choker. I slipped it on and took a quick selfie, which I sent to him.
Me: I just got home. I wish I could’ve given you a proper goodbye. *pouts*
DBB: Me too, darling, but I had a plane to catch. You know how it is.
Me: When do I need to move out?
DBB: Actually, you can stay. The next exec lined up for the condo is a good buddy of mine, and he promised to keep you warm for me.
DBB: Flight is boarding. I’ll call you when we resume the project next year.
I stared at my phone, my jaw loose. It sucked that he had to up and leave so quickly, but I understood the nature of his business and was more than happy to accept his parting gifts. But then he went and offered me up to his executive bestie like a piece of property.
Fucking hell.
I despised the single tear that found its way down my cheek.
I knew the score. I knew the goddamned score. Rowdy always said he never judged what I did, but he didn’t think I had the heart for it. Or, rather, that I had too much heart.
I pulled up my favorites and hit Rowdy’s number.
“Hey, did you leave something at dinner?”
“No, I?—”
“Sky? What’s wrong? Why do you sound like you’ve been crying?” Rowdy asked, interrupting me. “I’m pulling up FaceTime.”
“No, don’t—” I said as the FaceTime notification came up.
My finger hovered over the Reject button, but I knew he’d get into the car and come out here if I avoided him. Fine.
I hit the Accept button and Rowdy’s face came up on the screen.
He took one look at me and demanded, “What happened?”
Kess floated by in the background. “Who’s that?”
Kess was the love of Rowdy’s life, and while I was genuinely happy for my friend, watching him fall head over heels in love while my heart was breaking all over the place was a tough pill to swallow.
Rowdy quietly told him it was me, and Kess murmured something, then leaned over and kissed my friend’s shoulder.
“Sorry, Sky. My man’s super touchy feely.”
“Well, that’s better than my situation. Turns out my man’s super flighty.”
Rowdy tipped his head back and groaned. “Are you serious? He’s taking off?”
“Took off. Left me a text, and said I could stay in his company’s condo because the next executive coming in is a good pal, and that his friend could, and I quote, keep you warm for me .”
“Jesus fucking Christ. Please tell me you told him to go fuck himself.”
“No, he was too busy boarding his flight. He did leave me a stack of cash, along with a ridiculously expensive diamond choker.” I gestured to the jewelry on my neck and faked a smile as I fanned myself with the cash. Rowdy whistled.
“That doesn’t even make any sense,” he complained. “Why would he spend so much money if he was leaving?”
“So the next time he comes into town, I’ll come running.”
“No, you absolutely will not go running, unless it’s in the opposite direction.”
“Thanks, Rowdy. I’ve figured that out all on my own.”
“Are you sure? Because I seem to remember having a similar conversation the last time he left you high and dry and you had sworn up and down you didn’t double dip with your daddies.”
I winced. He wasn’t lying. More importantly, only a true friend would remind me I’d broken my own rule.
“Yes, and I have learned my lesson. I’m blocking his number, and . . .” I let out a breath. “I’m retiring from the sugar baby life. For real this time.”
I hadn’t even had a chance to think about it, but saying the words made my shoulders drop out of my ears for the first time in a long time. My body swayed with relief, and more tears fell.
“Are you alone in the condo right now?” he asked, concern marking his handsome features.
“Yes.”
“Then come stay with us. Don’t be alone right now.”
As if.
“I do believe the only thing more dangerous than staying alone would be sharing space with two people who are so disgustingly in love. I’d feel like throwing up every time I saw you.”
The corners of his mouth turned down. “Ouch.”
“Sorry. You know I love him for you, it’s just a lot.”
“I hear you.”
“Anyway, I’ll stay here tonight, then find a place tomorrow.”
He sighed, but didn’t fight me on it.
“If you need anything from me, you know I’m here for you.”
“I know. That’s why you were my first call.”
“Love you, Sky.”
“Love you, Rowd.”
We air kissed, then I hung up and looked around the lifeless space. No, I would not be staying here for any longer than I had to, even if there was no way in hell I was going to stay with Rowdy and Kess.
Whatever the solution to all of this mess was, I wasn’t going to come up with it tonight. I got ready for bed, slipping into the posh pajamas Rich had purchased for me just last week, then blocked his number on my phone and social media apps. Whatever my next steps would be, it was long past time I took control of my life.
I woke to the sound of my phone’s notification going off. Based on the sound, it was from my favorite app, and some over romanticized part of my brain thought it might be Kit. I pulled up the app, noting the message had come in from my spicy account. A little afraid to see what some random internet person had to say to me, I closed my eyes and tapped the message.
BigNRich72: THIS IS RICH. DID YOU BLOCK ME ON YOUR PHONE?
I bit at my lip, then blocked him again. Five minutes later, another notification went off on my phone.
BigAndRich72: I DIDN’T LEAVE YOU THOUSANDS IN CASH AND JEWELRY FOR YOU TO BLOCK ME.
I didn’t need a crystal ball to tell me how this was going to go. Rich couldn’t go for more than two minutes in bed, but for almost everything else, he was a dog with a bone. I’d be blocking him all day for weeks on end, and I didn’t have it in me to keep up with all of that. Besides, I had a birthday party to go to this weekend and a life to rebuild.
I flicked back to the main page of my spicy account, scrolling through some of my favorite photographs. I wasn’t recognizable from any of these. I didn’t have any tattoos or birthmarks, and all the shots focused on my scantily clothed body.
Suddenly, with notifications dinging crazily in the background and a person I didn’t recognize staring back at me, it became painfully clear what I had to do next.
I was so done with this life.
I told Rowdy last night that I was retiring from the sugar baby gig. Easy words to say, and even easier words to go back on. There was an entire way of life I’d built up for myself, but it depended entirely on the generosity of men. I’d been smart with my cash, I had plenty set aside for a rainy day, and I had it on the brain today to meet with the jeweler and a car dealership to see what kind of cash I could get for the choker and the Porsche.
Rich didn’t even know about my real account. I could delete this account and he’d never be able to contact me again.
I went back to the messages and took screen caps of everything. Rich had sent a few more choice words.
BigAndRich72: SO, WHAT? WORK CALLED ME AWAY AND NOW YOU WON’T TALK TO ME?
BigAndRich72: WE’RE NOT FRIENDS ANYMORE?
I set my thumbs to typing.
Me: I appreciate the gifts and my time with you. But you were my last sugar daddy. I’m closing down this account and hanging up my hooker heels for good.
Me: Tell your buddy I’m sorry he couldn’t fuck me while I waited for you.
I then went to the settings menu, found my account information, and scrolled all the way to the bottom. I stared for a long moment at the delete link in red lettering. More notifications came through, but before I could overthink it, I tapped the screen. The app helpfully asked if I was sure, and I tapped the screen again.
I then set my phone down and went to the bathroom and took care of business as a quiet sort of numbness blanketed me. When I was getting bullied at home and school for my undeniable queerness, I could have never even dreamed of living a life like this.
Maybe that’s why I’d kept clinging on to it even though I was already in my thirties. I was well past wanting to be at the beck and call of rich men who had never given a shit about me, save for what my mouth and ass could do for them. Save for how good I looked on their arms.
It was time to boot that kind of man out of my life. I looked out at the unknown path ahead of me, and my stomach lurched. Right as I wondered if I would be sick, another notification went off on my phone.
“Seriously?” I muttered. “Did he already find my real account?”
I picked up the phone and smiled at the text that’d come in.
Rowdy: Just because you’re heartbroken and your life has gone to shit doesn’t mean you can blow us off this Saturday.
I tapped my lips, trying to remember what Saturday was.
Shit. Wasn’t I just saying I had a birthday party to go to?
Me: I would never blow off Stevie’s big day. I’ll be there with bells on.
Me: I do have one request.
Rowdy: Hit me.
Me: Can we not talk about what an abject failure my life is right now?
Rowdy: Sure. But, as I tell the kids in my after-school class: Just because shit is hard doesn’t mean you failed.
Me: OMG. Rowdy the Philosopher is even more annoying than Rowdy the Loved Up Fool.
Rowdy: Whatever. Just remember to bring the ice.
Me: Fuck ice. I’ll bring the tequila.
Rowdy: This is a fourteen-year-old’s birthday party, babes.
Me: Fine. I’ll be an adult.
Rowdy:
Me: