Chapter 4
Four
Logan
“What’s wrong?” I ask him.
“Hm?”
“What’s got your face looking like that?” I reach out to nudge his chin and ignore it when he flinches.
“Do you know how to dance?” he surprises me by asking.
“Sure.”
Baby nods. “I’m not sure I could. Or, I mean, I do at clubs and stuff, but I’ve never slow-danced. People do that at weddings, right?”
“Sometimes,” I answer him. “You’ve never been to one?”
“No, I have. Sort of. My moms had a wedding-like party at one point, but I was little.”
“What’s a wedding-like party?”
“Well, gay marriage used to be illegal, so it wasn’t technically an actual wedding. And when it was legalized, all they did was go to a courthouse.”
I don’t know what to say in response to that. I can’t imagine falling for someone and have the government say I couldn’t marry them.
“It might not have been a real wedding, but it was beautiful.” He smiles sweetly, clearly fond of the memory.
“There wasn’t an officiant or anything for the ceremony—it was just in the backyard.
They held hands and read their vows in front of family and friends.
Kissed.” His voice turns almost wistful. “It was real to all of us.”
Again, I’m at a loss for words. I can’t relate. My parents never married, and I didn’t have a front row seat to any deep feelings they shared for one another. They were together because of the kids up until my dad decided he’d had enough of that.
“I’ve danced at weddings—I can show you what to do when—”
“Oh, shut up. I’m not taking you with me.”
I shrug. “Fine. Dance with…” I’m not sure who he would dance with. He’s made it clear that his sexuality isn’t something he can safely showcase around those people.
He sighs. “Right. I guess I don’t have to worry about looking silly when there’s nobody to dance with.”
“I could—”
“Have you been to a lot of weddings?”
I stare at him as I decide whether or not I want to insist on the subject. It’s probably best that I don’t. “A few.”
“I’ve only been to the one, but I loved it. I’ve wanted my own ever since. And I definitely want to have a spotlight dance.”
I frown. It’s hard to imagine him married. It’s not that I don’t think someone would snatch him up if he gave them a chance, but it’s weird to picture. It makes me a little uncomfortable.
He laughs suddenly, something on the screen distracting him, and it’s a relief.
I’d like to change the subject, stop talking about this altogether.
Instead, I go quiet. Baby’s focused enough on the movie that the silence isn’t noticeable.
It makes it easy to doze off the longer we go without speaking to each other.
The Princess Bride is over when I open my eyes again. I don’t know what movie is playing now, and I have no clue how long I’ve been asleep, but I must have been more tired than I thought. That or the edible he gave me hit me harder than I expected.
I hear a quiet sigh, and it’s not until right then that I realize Baby is still here. He’s sleeping. I like seeing him like that—relaxed even though he’s half on top of me. It’s not something that he’d allow if he were awake.
Despite his aversion to cuddles, it’s not the first time this has happened. In fact, I don’t think I could count just how many times we’ve ended up this way.
His cheek is smushed against my stomach, lips parted as he breathes slowly and deeply.
Sometimes he ends up with his head on the opposite end of the couch with his feet tucked under my arm.
It’s a lot cozier this way. It gets hot, but not in a way that feels smothering. It actually feels kind of nice.
Baby’s brows dip as he mumbles something I can’t make out, but I don’t need to hear the words to know that he’s complaining. It makes me smile—seeing him cop an attitude even in his sleep. I watch him until he settles, his pouty lips parting again, and then I look away.
I wish he hadn’t told me about Zeke—the first dick he ever… something. It puts me on edge thinking about it. I don’t know why, but I know it’s not for the reasons he assumes. I can’t exactly blame him for thinking it, not after I went ahead and called it gross.
That wasn’t the right word. It’s just… it bothers me. It makes my stomach tighten uneasily, and that’s without having all the details.
Sometimes I think he’s right—I am dumb. Shit just doesn’t make sense to me sometimes. A lot of the time.
Like now, for example. I have to get up.
I don’t know exactly what time it is, but I know I have to go to work soon.
I’ll have to try not to wake him when I do.
It’s rude to wake people up, but that’s not why.
It’s mostly so he doesn’t get embarrassed.
I don’t want him getting all pissy when he realizes that he’s lying on top of me.
He might keep it from happening again, and I really don’t want that.
That’s the part that doesn’t make sense to me.
I move as slowly as possible, keeping my hands to myself as much as I can. He’ll wake up on his own and move to his room.
∞∞∞
I freeze after opening the door. I wasn’t expecting anyone but Baby to be home, let alone somebody I don’t know. “Hey.”
Baby sighs at the interruption and makes no move to introduce me to the girl sitting next to him.
“What’s going on?”
He sighs again. “This is Audrey.”
Ah. Makes sense. He can’t be nice to me in front of his people.
I wonder what Audrey thinks of me. I don’t think they grew up around guys like me.
There’s cement caked on my boots and sweat stains along my collar and down my back.
To her credit, she doesn’t seem to mind.
No, I’m pretty sure she’s enjoying the sight.
The gaze she creeps over me has me wanting to remind her of her fiancé, but I bite back that urge.
“I’m trying to convince Baby to be my brother’s date to my wedding.”
“What?” Baby asks, clearly just as shocked as I am.
His friend grins, nodding her head happily like this is good news.
“Huh?” He tries again, urging her to explain herself.
“He’s gay! Or… well, he came out recently, and he didn’t say gay specifically—but he does like men!”
He doesn’t say a word as he gapes at her.
“It didn’t go over that well—I’m sure you can imagine—but I’m proud of him.” She really seems to be. “I did not see it coming, but how cool would that be? My brother and one of my best friends!”
His mouth is stuck, just sort of hanging there. I hope he’s not considering it. He really does deserve better than that guy.
“What do you say? You guys can even walk down the aisle together, get a glimpse of your future,” she teases, and it sort of makes me sick.
“Nah,” I cut in without even thinking about it.
She looks at me again, and her smile slips, confusion taking over.
“He’s already got a boyfriend.”
Baby’s going to be so mad at me. In fact, I can see it now, the beginnings of his rage.
Oh well.
“Who—you?” She’s shocked, but not as badly as Baby was when she told him she wanted him to date her brother
He looked like he was on the verge of panicking. He doesn’t open up much, but I know that this Zeke guy hurt him. Audrey doesn’t because Baby never told his old best friend what he had going on with her own brother.
But he told me.
“Wait.” She’s less shocked now, more excited. “You’re dating the Logan?”
Baby’s hand falls, no longer covering his mouth as he tries to think of something to say. She’s definitely got my attention. The Logan. What the hell does that mean? I didn’t think he talked about me much. Or at all, at least not to his friends.
“The guy you never shut up ab—don’t!” She lets out a squeal that stops her from sharing anymore as she rips her arm away from Baby, which is a letdown. I want to know what she was going to say.
Maybe it’s a bad thing that she knows about me.
He probably complains about me a lot. I mean, he does that to my face, so I would not at all be surprised.
And with the way she’s dressed, the Range Rover parked out front…
of course, she’s shocked. It’s entirely possible that I’m not someone she’d consider dateable. Baby probably doesn’t either.
He’s kind of… not rich-rich, but the difference in classes is there.
My roommates are all in school. None of them drives anything fancy, but I drive a fifteen-year-old pickup that my dad and I fixed up before he left.
It’s probably the most beat-up thing in our whole parking lot.
I came here chasing work so I could send money back home for my single mom and my five younger siblings.
Baby’s got bougie lesbian moms who own pot dispensaries.
He could do a lot better than someone like me.
“Do not bite me,” she cries, clearly familiar with Baby’s vampiric tendencies.
I have to ignore the little zip of bitterness that shoots through me at those words—it’s such a stupid thing to be jealous about. I don’t want to be bitten, not really. I just don’t get why he won’t do it.
He bites everybody but me, and it makes me stupid with envy.
I work with my hands, and even in the cool weather we have now, I’m sweating my ass off all day, every day. He probably meant it when he said I’m too sweaty for bites.
I should have thought about shit for a second—thought about it at all. I’m sure Baby doesn’t want these people thinking he’s slumming it with someone like me.
But I also didn’t want him to do something stupid.
“Audrey, shut up,” he seethes, embarrassment making him panic all over again. I should be offended that he obviously wants to hide something from me. I am a little—but the urge to make sure Zeke can’t get his hands on him is too strong.
“I thought he was straight.” She cocks a brow at me, but I can’t keep my eyes off Baby’s face. His cheeks are so fucking pink.
I shrug. “You thought your brother was too.” I do my best to hide my insecurities, but the thoughts are all there. A jumbled mess of knots just under my skin, and it’s hard to ignore. There’s probably a lot of things he says about me, and I doubt many are good.