Chapter Twenty-Three
Twenty-Three
Baby
He removes his fingers, and before I can complain, I watch him slide them past his lips, under the dick he has in his mouth. He’s so…
Everything. I smile, letting my head fall back again so he doesn’t see the derpy grin on my face. This shouldn’t be so wholesome, but it is.
Jax Juicy was right. Logan might be experimenting, but he’s so good at it that I don’t feel like I have to worry.
He wanted Zeke to see us kiss, not because that’s all it is between us, but because he gets as jealous as I do.
It’s a bit toxic, but our mutual possessiveness aside, it’s also sweet as fuck.
It even makes me feel less crazy about my own feelings.
“Oh.” I gasp, the unmistakable feeling of three fingers spreading me open and reigniting the subtle burn from before. He doubles down on the blowjob, his cheeks hollowing as he bobs his head, and it helps me forget all about the pain. I think I could handle more. I really, really want more.
“So good,” I hum, loving it when he peers up.
“You are,” I tell him, but before I can give him any more praise, my lower stomach tightens.
“I’m…” I gasp, unable to warn him as I come undone, twitching in his mouth.
I can feel my hole spasm around his fingers, and have to bite down on my bottom lip to keep from crying out.
It takes me a moment to come to, to snap out of all the bliss swarming my body and mind.
When I do, I feel him rubbing the tip of his nose along my hipbone, fingers still moving inside me and triggering aftershocks that are almost too much to bear.
He doesn’t speak as he removes my leg from over his shoulder, the move finally letting me relax, and no longer forcing me on the tips of my toes.
That’s when he turns me around, those thick fingers of his leaving me empty.
I wonder if it bothers him how much I complain, but I almost do it anyway until he spreads me apart, confusion leaving me a touch dumb.
His fingers are too dry when he slips them in again, but the curiosity keeps me quiet.
His lips find my hole as his hand pulls my hips back, and a split second later, I feel something warm and wet, too much so to be spit alone.
When his fingers find their way back in, the glide is easier.
“I thought—”
“I could look at this all day, Baby—cum leaking out of your little hole.”
It takes me a moment to understand. He held it in his mouth and spit it into my hole, his fingers shoving it in deeper now.
My spent cock twitches, just the thought alone pushing it to make an effort to regroup for one more round.
He stands up, and again, I almost complain, the no on the very tip of my tongue until he speaks.
“Please, Baby—can I?” His cockhead is notched right there, exactly where it belongs, and there’s no way I could ever deny him—us—of that. I’d almost said no a few seconds ago, but there’s only one thing I could say now.
“Please.”
My mouth opens wide, a silent cry as his dick splits me open, much thicker than the fingers I didn’t realize were prepping me.
We’re a marvel, an actual anomaly, the both of us together.
This hurts, and yet it feels so good. I’m oversensitive and somehow am still finding myself stiffening.
He’s big and so sweet, and I’m basically a gremlin—a pretty one, albeit—with too much attitude. How odd that we work.
I think I love him. I know I do. Logan Matthews just might be the love of my life.
It depends on how he feels. I have to know for sure, find out where his mind is. Now is not the time—he’s too busy fucking me with long, languid strokes, and I’m too busy taking it to ruin the moment by asking such a pathetically desperate question.
What are we—I let myself wonder as he drives into me over and over, and convince myself that what we have is everything.
∞∞∞
I roll my eyes. “Logan, it’ll leave a spot. People will see.”
“What’s so wrong about that?”
I sigh. What a nut. Or squirrel, really, ‘cause I kinda feel like I’m the nut.
“I’m not going out there with a big splotch of cum on my butt.” I cross my arms in absolution. It’s a teensy, tiny bit sweet that he wants so badly to mark his territory, but I would look stupid. And slutty. My jeans are a very light blue—they would see.
He frowns, actually pouting.
“You’re ridiculous.” I push at his stomach, a poor attempt to shove him towards the door. He doesn’t move a single inch. “Go on,” I tell him. “I have to clean up.”
“I’ll help.”
“No, you horndog—we’ve been in here too long.”
Instead of doing as he’s told, he hugs me, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me in tight against him. My nose is smushed against his collarbone, and I’m fully naked from the waist down. Feels silly. But also cozy.
“I owe you one more, y’know?”
I purse my lips against his soft tee. I know what he’s talking about, but it’s out of the question. I don’t know the exact time, but we truly have been in here too long. Plus, there’s too much… stuff in there. He can’t spank me.
I choose to ignore him, opening my mouth against his pec so I can bite. When he grunts, I grin. That’ll leave a visible mark too, my spit outlining the definite bruise under the fabric.
He leans down to press his lips just below my ear, triggering a poor attempt of mine to snuggle in closer.
It’s not a kiss, not really. It’s also not a bite.
It’s gentle and soft, a barely there skim that glides up and down the length of my neck.
A warmth blooms all the way down to my toes, a full-body shiver that he feels.
There are no more words, no more bites or spanks.
He doesn’t leave the space like I told him to—instead, he helps me dress silently.
It should be awkward, being cleaned up like this—having a warm paper towel dragged over my bits.
Sounds awkward in my head—but it doesn’t feel that way at all.
It’s rather intimate. I almost want to cry.
But that’d be super embarrassing, so I don’t.
It’s a knock—a loud knock—that finally bursts our sexy bubble.
My eyes widen. I’m an adult—sorta—but it feels like I’m about to get in trouble. I don’t know the rules on public bathroom quickies, but I doubt they’re forgiving.
“It’s okay,” Logan says, rubbing his hand across the small of my back soothingly.
I don’t see how I could agree with him. There’s no way for him to know his limits on this thing between us, because there are things he hasn’t experienced. He doesn’t seem bothered that someone might know what we were doing in here, but he could be. I am.
“Wait!” I whisper as he reaches for the doorknob, but he doesn’t share the hesitance.
“It’s fine, Baby. What’s the worst they could do, spank you?”
That shuts me up.
The gall of this dude. He opens the door, leaving me no time to think of a comeback.
“Oh.”
It’s just Mr. Juicy, so there is a bit of a relief once it’s done.
His eyes ping-pong between the two of us for almost a full second before he speaks. “Man, y’all were in here for like a decade—I mean, practice makes perfect and all, but a thirty-minute blowjob is fucking nuts.”
He’s so… blunt isn’t the word, but he has literally no filter.
“That’s not—”
“Dude, don’t try to lie—it’ll give me secondhand embarrassment. Your straight guy has dried cum on the corner of his mouth.”
I don’t wanna look. I’m sure he’s telling the truth. Jax speaks too quickly for it to be a joke.
The silence is uncomfortable, but it doesn’t last long. “I’m going to go with you guys in here if you don’t leave.”
I take the threat at face value and squeeze past him. When we’re alone in the hallway, I turn to see Logan rubbing his mouth on the back of his hand.
“Did I get it?”
I sigh. “No.”
He uses his tongue next.
“Logan, ew.”
He rolls his eyes, and I can’t even pretend I don’t know why. If he can suck it out of me and then spit it back inside me… I don’t know what the end of that thought is.
“It’s gone now,” I mumble, clearly more abashed than he is about all of this. He even laughs, a hearty chuckle, at the situation. “You think this is funny?”
“I mean, yeah. A little.” He shrugs a shoulder as his smile softens. I suppose it’s a good thing that he can find the humor in this, but I don’t think I can. Not yet.
“You should go back first.”
He wants to argue, but I’m quick to convince him.
“I’m sure they all have assumptions about why we’ve been gone for so long, but that doesn’t mean we have to confirm it.”
I watch as he walks away, keeping my eyes trained on him until he rounds the corner of the hallway and back into the main room.
It should be a solace, having a moment to myself after all of that—the sex and Jax, and all the affection I’m still suffering from.
Instead of peace, I feel antsy. He was with me not even a minute ago, and I miss him. It’s pathetic.
To top it all off, I’m still worried about his own perception of his image—stressed that he’ll face any of the same ridicule and hate that I lived through, or that Zeke is currently experiencing.
He could decide it’s not worth it. It’d be easy for him to go back to before, to go back to what was normal for him before I messed things up.
Logan’s here with me, but I don’t know what that means to him.
“It may have been a bad blowjob, but I mean, at least he gave you one—it’s a good sign.”
I don’t turn to face Jax. “It wasn’t bad,” I tell him, needlessly offended. It’s still none of his business.
“Then why so bummed?”
“I’m not.”
“Well, you’ve got too much gloom going on for a guy who just got head from his tall, blonde boyfriend.”
I say nothing, still looking down the hallway where I last saw Logan.
“Come on, I’ll give you another daiquiri.”
I didn’t finish the first drink he gave me, but I guess I could use another.
“He’s not my boyfriend.” I don’t know what it is about bartenders, but they all seem to have a certain vibe. It makes people talk, and walking side by side with him has me falling under the spell.
“You seem too close to be friends-with-bens.”
I frown. That’s pretty much what we are. “We are friends. I don’t know how it turned into… well, yeah, I do. He said he’d be my date to this wedding I’m going to, as my boyfriend. Only he’s not actually… my boyfriend.”
Jax snorts. “There’s some bookish girl’s head exploding right now.”
“What do you mean?”
“The fake-dating trope,” he says, like I should know what that means.
While it is self-explanatory, I don’t fully understand what he’s getting at.
“There are hundreds of books and movies about it—the main character needs an emergency date, and poof! Some hot guy is there to save the day. All the comedy, yearning, and sappy-bullshit unravels, and then they end up realizing they’re soulmates. ”
Sounds too good to be true.
“You should make sure that epiphany happens soon—your fake boyfriend seems real-boyfriend material. If you don’t bag him, someone else is gonna.”
It’s upsetting that Jax is so right and so confusing at the same time.
I don’t have the time to consider things too much, not with Zeke suddenly there as soon as we round the corner.
“Fake boyfriend, huh?”
My stomach drops. “He’s not—”
“Dude, I’m so sorry,” Jax whispers not-so-quietly, and that pretty much kills my chances of denying it.
“That’s a little sad, Frankie,” Zeke says, and the sound of the old nickname makes my chest tighten.
“That’s not my name anymore.”
He knows that. Pretty sure he doesn’t care, though. Zeke’s eyes volley between Jax and me, and I have no clue what he’s thinking. “Can I talk to you?”
“No.” That’s the very last thing I want to do at the moment.
“Look, I just wanted to apologize.”
“Ah, yeah. That’s my cue. I got some drinks to mix anyway.” Jax doesn’t even look at me as he walks away.
This can’t be happening.
“Look, I don’t care. It’s none of my business.”
I don’t trust him. He’s said things to me he didn’t mean before. Lots of times.
“To be fair, I only agreed to it to keep you away from me.” I cross my arms.
His browline furrows as he takes that in. “Okay. I guess I deserve that.”
”Oh, you guess?”
”Look, I’m sorry. The way I treated you in high school wasn’t okay.”
I agree with him. “Then why’d you do it?”
He runs his hand through his dark hair and sighs. “I was insecure. Confused. You were so sure of yourself, even with all the bullshit, and I guess I was jealous.”
I don’t know what to say. The idea of him being jealous of me is hard to believe.
“But I’m sorry. I didn’t come out on purpose, y‘know. I was outed and it kind of sucked.”
I nod because I can definitely empathize. “Got a taste of your own medicine, huh?”
His shoulders slump, disappointed that I didn’t immediately alleviate him of his guilt. “I don’t want to be someone who makes people feel like that anymore.
“Thank you, Zeke.” I smile at the way he perks up. “That was very big of you, and… thanks. I forgive you.”
He grins. “Awesome.”
”But I also have zero interest in dating you.”
He huffs a laugh. “I get it. And, well, I kind of have someone so there’s no need to worry about that. I’m just glad you… yeah.”
I give him an awkward smile, but I honestly do forgive him. It feels like I needed that—an apology from this guy. It feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I don’t want our history to always be looming over me anymore, and this feels like a step towards achieving that.
I feel so light and breezy, maybe a little bit sexed-up, but it’s nice. I go find our table and Audrey pulls me against her, definitely tipsy. “Do you think that guy is stuffing?”
I look for where she’d point and see a massive bulge on the stage. “Oh my god. I kinda hope so.”
She snickers in my ear. “I kinda hope not.”
”You’re engaged,” I remind her.
“I know. He’s the best.” She sits down and drags me with her.
“Hey.” She has to stop to see what it is that has everyone in the room howling.
That bulge really is insane, so I understand.
I’m not a size queen, but that’s just… wow.
When my eyes finally manage to pull off of it I find Logan watching me.
I shrug. “Yours is better.”
“I know.” He crosses his arms and leans back against his seat. He has every right to be a bit cocky about it, so I let him have it.
“Hey!” Audrey says again, trying to get my attention. “I—” She purses her lips and then erupts in a fit of giggles. “I totally forgot! But I’m glad you’re here.”
She plants her cheek on my shoulder and I laugh. “Yeah, me too.”
“I can buy you guys a dance if you—”
”Nope. No thanks,” Logan answers for us and I consider teasing him. But I don’t want that. I just need him.
And that drink I was promised.