Chapter 59
Sebastian
The Casting Couch
Five Years Ago
I stared down at the blank screen on my phone. Nothing. It’d been six months of nothing. Evie left town five days after Lita died—five days after we’d given our virginities to each other—and I hadn’t heard from her since.
I’d tried to get in touch with her. I called, text, emailed even. She’d blocked me from everything. Or alternatively, which made my heart feel worse, I wasn’t blocked. She saw my name on her screen every day and simply ignored it. I’d almost rather be blocked.
Evie, what is going on?
“What are you doing?” Heather’s shitty attitude was felt before seen.
She stormed into the green room, where I was waiting for my cue to go on stage.
I’d been invited on one of those late-night talk shows to discuss the dark fantasy movie, Surrender to Forever, I did last year.
It was finally being released in theaters.
I shook my head and shoved my phone into my pocket. “Nothing. Just waiting.”
Her gaze flicked to my pocket and rolled her eyes. “I don’t know why you do this to yourself. She’s made her choice clear, I think.”
I sat up hurriedly. “What do you mean, choice? Have you heard from her? Anything?” I regularly searched her name on the internet, hoping something would pop up. It was borderline obsessive, but she’d just dropped off the face of the earth with no goodbye. After what we’d done, our history?
I thought she loved me.
“No, and I doubt we will. Seb, she wants to be left alone. Let her. Her mom killed herself, for Christ’s sake.”
My eye twitched, and I bit my tongue to stop from correcting her.
There was no way in Clive Barker’s hell that Lita Reyes committed suicide.
We’d seen her body. We’d seen the blood.
But I refrained from arguing with my agent.
The last time I did, she slapped me so hard my head spun and I hit a wall.
I didn’t need my shit rocked right before I went on live TV.
“Right.” I looked away. “It’s force of habit. Sorry.”
Heather, in her signature fuchsia pink, straightened her jacket and dragged the chair from the vanity table over to me. She plopped down in it once she was right in front of me, and she reached for my hand.
“You know what they say the best way to get over someone is?”
I forced myself not to pull away. Heather often pretended to have a motherly affection toward me, but her words, actions, and sometimes hands, told a different story. Heather wasn’t a loving mother. She was more like a drunken, angry father.
“What’s that?” I humored her.
She beamed, thin lips tightening as she grinned.
“You get under someone new. Sebastian, we need to get you a new girlfriend.”
The very idea jolted me. I yanked my hand away and jumped up, moving away quickly.
“Heather, that’s—” I bit down on my knuckle. I couldn’t believe she’d even suggest that.
She stood and sighed, crossing her arms. “Seb, she’s not coming back. First loves are always the hardest. But I think it’s time to try to move on. You’re the hottest teenager in America. You can literally have any woman you want, your age or not.” She raised her eyebrows pointedly.
I grimaced. What was she implying?
“Pick someone, or I can do it for you.” She pulled her phone out and began tapping furiously. “What about your co-star from Surrender to Forever? A showmance always sells. She’s very pretty.”
I shook my head and ran my hand through my hair.
“Heather, not right now. I— I’m going to check on my time.
” I left, and thankfully, an assistant caught me and let me know they were just about ready for me to go on.
I waited and, when prompted, took a deep breath, put on a smile, and walked out on stage, waving to the audience.
An hour later, I walked offstage not remembering a single word I’d said. Heather’s suggestion had rocked me so hard, I couldn’t think about anything else.
A new girlfriend? Never.
Heather and I went home, but I didn’t speak much. The next morning, however, she surprised me with an afternoon date.
“I’ve lined up a handful of girls for you to see if anyone interests you.
It’s time, Sebastian.” She offered vague threats, but I was used to them and zoned her out.
I didn’t really have a choice. Heather was my legal guardian.
What she said went. I went on the date, but only in body.
I ate, I sulked, and I left, not even learning the girl’s name.
Heather saw through my bullshit by the fourth date and became more insistent. She joined me, made me drink, and despite myself, the alcohol loosened me up.
And soon, I found myself relying on alcohol just to get through. If I had to do these stupid dates, I could at least enjoy myself.
The second girl I ever kissed was at a pizza place, in the bathroom.
She’d followed me in and let me pee before barging into the stall and forcing her lips on mine, and then she dropped to her knees and her lips found my dick.
I was far too drunk to understand exactly what was happening.
My body was complicit, so desperate for touch.
I closed my eyes and imagined it was Evie, not.
.. whoever, and was able to lose myself for just a few moments.
And after that, it got easier. Much easier.
Makeouts and blowjobs turned into hands, hips, and tongues colliding in ways I’d only ever done with Evie.
But maybe Heather was right. Evie didn’t want me, but these girls did.
Why not get off and go home? I could cry about the girl who broke my heart afterward.
Sex, something I’d considered special and important, became nothing but a release.
Evie and I had put it up on this pedestal, saving ourselves not only for each other, but for the right time.
Now, it was just something to pass the time in between auditions, commercials, photoshoots, speaking engagements, etc.
I lost track of the names and faces. As long as we had a condom, we were good to go.
It was three months after I started dating that I had my first kiss with a guy. We were both hammered, and our lips just suddenly found each other’s. And it wasn’t bad. The scratch of his five o’clock shadow, his large hands on my hips—I was just as hard for him as I was for the girls.
We’d found my bed, and just as my shirt was coming off, the door opened and Heather walked in.
“Oh!” she yelped, her eyes widening as she took in the scene.
I froze, prepared for her to yell at me, but she didn’t. She was smiling. She stared and then slowly backed out, leaving us be.
I should have known then that she wasn’t simply okay with me being into both guys and girls. No, it was the next morning that I understood what had her smiling.
“I’ve lined up an audition for you. It’s a good one, and everyone is gunning for it. But you have an edge. We’re going to use it.”
I looked up from my breakfast shake. “What’s that?”
“The director likes you.” She was grinning like a shark, just having seen the sign for Amity Beach.
“So?” Lots of people liked me. I didn’t get why that was meant to be exciting.
Heather came over to me, her eyes bright and shiny.
“Sebastian. If you want this job—and I promise you, you do—then you need to seduce this man. Or let him seduce you.”
Seduce?
I furrowed my brow. “I don’t understand.”
She sighed deeply, and her shoulders fell. “Sebastian, flirt with him. If he wants more…do more.”
My mouth dropped open as I finally got it. “What? No, that’s—”
She reached for my shoulders, pulling me into her, gripping me hard.
“We need to do this. This is your chance to get out of the cheap horror movies. You’ll get to show off your range.
Don’t you want to be up for an Oscar or an Emmy?
Horror won’t get you any of those. But this one can.
This script has legs. It has money behind it.
It just needs its main lead, and if you let him fuck you, we will make millions. ”
Let him fuck me?
My mind was reeling. I had to sit down. I fell into a chair, gazing off into the distance.
Could I? It was unethical, cheating to get the job.
Couldn’t I get it based on my own abilities?
I’d taken a million hours of acting classes.
I knew what to do at auditions to get the job. Was that not enough anymore?
Heather crouched in front of me, forcing me to make eye contact with her. “Seb, I know this is different for you. But if you can turn off your feelings, just consider it part of the audition, you can take us far. You’re finally ready.”
I chewed on my lip and steadied my breath so I didn’t get sick.
Could I do what she wanted?
Turn off my feelings.
Consider it part of the audition.
I studied her words. Take us far. This wasn’t about just me. It was her career, as well as the others we employed. There was a lot of responsibility on my shoulders. If I couldn’t pay them what they deserved, that felt…bad.
What did she mean—I was finally ready? Had this been why she’d wanted me to start dating in the first place? So I’d be comfortable sleeping with people to get work? So I could shut off and stop thinking so much about Evie to get my job done?
Well, it worked.
I was utterly broken. Fuck Evie Reyes and what she’d done to my heart. I didn’t have one anymore. But I did have a pretty face and a cock that people wanted. Might as well use them. I braced myself, pressing my lips together, and nodded.
“Fine.”