Chapter TWO
TWO
THE PAST
Ariana
“When are you going to tell me?”
Hannah stood over me as I lay sprawled across my bed, arms and legs spread like a starfish.
“Tell you what?” I mumbled.
“That you’re going on a date with Grayson Mercer.” She said his name like he was God’s greatest gift to the entire damn world.
I sighed. “I am not going on a date with Grayson Mercer.”
She gasped like I had just confessed to a crime. “Why the hell not? Everybody heard him shouting, asking you out.”
I rolled over, burying my face in the pillow. “I never said yes.”
“Why the hell not?” she repeated, louder this time.
“Because he scares the fuck out of me, alright!” I shouted into the pillow.
Silence.
Then Hannah’s voice, softer now. “Scares you how?”
I rolled onto my back, facing her. “Have you seen him?”
She nodded, completely serious. “Of course. He’s gorgeous.”
“Exactly!” I sat up, throwing my arms wide. “Now look at me.”
She actually paused to study me, like she was seeing me for the first time, even though we’d been friends since we were twelve.
Then, with all the fake wisdom she could summon, she said, “Your problem is simple. You never brush your hair. You don’t wear makeup.
And that,” she pointed at my shirt, nose wrinkling like it personally offended her, “needs a wash. Hell, it needs to be burned.”
She paused, looking thoughtful. Then she nodded. “Yeah, you’re right. You’re a fucking mess. I totally get why you’re insecure now.”
Groaning, I collapsed back onto the mattress. “So why the hell did he ask me out, Hannah? I don’t get it.”
She flopped down beside me with a sigh. “Maybe because, despite your tragic fashion choices, you’re actually kind of great?”
I snorted. “Doubtful.”
She turned her head to look at me. “Or maybe—and hear me out—Grayson Mercer just likes you. Ever considered that?”
I shook my head.
“You’re beautiful, Ari.” She tugged at my hair, reminding me it needed a wash. “You’ve got long legs, big boobs, and those blue eyes? They stand out.”
I squinted at my best friend—the human version of a blonde Barbie—trying so hard to believe her.
“The only great thing about me is that I’m tall,” I said flatly. “And even that doesn’t always work in my favor. Most guys are my height, so I can’t even wear heels around them.”
Hannah could understand this, as she was my height at five-foot-nine.
She’d dated guys shorter than her until she finally found Payton, who was six-foot-five.
Not that it was the reason she dated him.
They just clicked perfectly, and they’d been together for two years now and were still going strong.
“You never wear heels,” she pointed out. Then she narrowed her eyes. “And what guys? You’ve never even dated anyone!”
Sighing, I covered my eyes with my forearm. “That just proves my point.”
“Grayson is a lot taller than you,” she said solemnly.
“True.”
“You can wear heels around him.”
“I might need to borrow some from you.”
A gasp. “Does that mean you’ll go out with him?”
“No.”
“Ari…” She sighed. “You don’t have to be serious with him. Just go out, have fun, and enjoy yourself.”
“He’s a player, Hannah.”
“I know… but rumor has it he hasn’t been screwing around for weeks now. Someone in my class said he keeps refusing the advances.”
I let out a sharp laugh. “What a fucking saint, Grayson Mercer.”
“He’s never dated anyone, Ari. Not that I know of. Not that anyone knows of. He’s never taken a girl on a date.” She paused, giving me a pointed look. “And he asked you.”
We went quiet for a moment, each lost in our thoughts, before I finally said, “He said nice things to me, Hannah. Made me swoon a little.”
“Even though you’re an unswoonable girl.”
“Exactly.”
“What did he say?”
“He said he likes my eyes, my hair, and my frown.”
She chuckled. “Sounds like he has a thing for grumpy girls.”
“Maybe he just thinks I’m a challenge.”
She scoffed. “Why would he bother? Girls line up for him. He’s got plenty to choose from.”
“I’ve seen his dick.”
Hannah jolted upright, eyes wide in shock. “You’ve seen what now?”
“That’s how we met,” I said, feeling a little sheepish. “I was trying to nap in the library, right in the next aisle from where he was getting a blowjob.”
Hannah burst out laughing. “That’s a meet-cute if I’ve ever heard one.”
“He’s got a nice one. Big and veiny.”
She doubled over, laughing even harder.
“That’s another reason for going on a date with him.” She nodded, still laughing.
“Yeah…” I trailed off, considering it. “Maybe I will.”
And I did.
Grayson picked me up in the lobby of my dorm, leaning casually against the wall in a brown leather jacket and black jeans, his hands tucked into his pockets. The moment he saw me walking toward him, his smile widened.
I’d put in some effort. Not too much, but enough. A loose baby blue sweater hung off one shoulder, paired with a short denim skirt and flat knee-high boots. I’d washed and combed my hair, even put on a little makeup.
The first thing his eyes landed on was my legs, lingering for a second before flicking back to mine. And when they did, they softened.
“God,” he murmured, voice rough and quiet. “You’re so damn beautiful, Ariana. I don’t know how I got this lucky.”
He took me to a restaurant not too far from campus that was, surprisingly, a little too fancy for a college guy like him. I expected a burger joint or a diner, but this place had candlelit tables and actual cloth napkins.
The food was great, and to my surprise, I was genuinely having a good time. At some point, without thinking, I smiled at him. And it was a full, unrestrained smile.
Grayson froze for a second, his fork suspended in midair. Then he exhaled a soft laugh, shaking his head.
“I was right, Ari,” he said.
“About what?”
“How beautiful you are when you smile.”
Heat crept up my cheeks, and I knew I was blushing.
Grayson Mercer had made me blush. Something that hadn’t happened since I was ten.
When he walked me back to my dorm, we stopped in front of the lobby entrance, facing each other. I looked up at him, drawn in once again by those silvery-gray eyes and the way he looked at me.
There was something in his gaze, like a deep feeling was infused into it. Grayson looked at me like no one ever had before.
He whispered, the kind that sent shivers down my spine. “Tell me I can kiss you.” His hands cupped my face so gently, his touch light yet certain. He leaned in, so close, yet somehow still too far away. I wanted him to kiss me. I wanted it so badly. But I couldn’t say it.
I felt shy. And that wasn’t like me.
No one had kissed me before. No one had ever held my face like this, like I was something precious.
“Can I, Ari?” he asked again, his voice softer this time, and I knew, without a doubt, that Grayson Mercer had never needed to ask for a kiss in his life.
And yet, here he was, waiting.
Then, before I could overthink it, I nodded.
It surprised us both.
He grinned, and I smiled back. A real smile—unguarded and genuine.
“Okay,” he murmured. “I’m going to kiss you now.”
He leaned in, brushing his lips against mine in the lightest touch before pulling back, eyes searching mine. Then he leaned in again, and this time, he kissed me fully.
I had no comparison, but I was certain that his kiss was the greatest kiss in the entire goddamn universe. It was hot and intense, drawing me into a world where nothing else existed but us. He tilted his head, deepening it, his hands pulling me closer until there was no space left between us.
Without realizing it, my hands had found his strong chest, then slid up to his neck, linking around him.
He kept kissing me like he couldn’t stop himself, like he didn’t want to.
Soft, breathless sounds escaped me, only spurring him on, his lips parting mine with deeper intensity.
He sucked on my bottom lip first, then the top, his tongue sweeping against mine in a slow, intoxicating battle.
I could feel him. The warmth of his breath. The lingering taste of the chocolate dessert we shared at dinner. The unspoken emotions pressing between us.
I was probably imagining it, but I felt him. Felt what he felt for me.
And in that moment, on our very first date, I knew.
I wasn’t just another girl to him.
I was something more.
That date was the start of my history with Grayson.
His deep, rough voice, silver-gray eyes, and crooked grin captivated me like no one else.
And to my surprise, my attraction to him wasn’t just physical.
He was genuinely a nice guy. He was attentive to my every need, listening intently to whatever I said, no matter how insignificant or ridiculous.
Even when I said nothing at all, he still paid attention.
That was why letting him go had been so damn hard.
Even after three years, no one else had come close to making me feel what he did.
Sometimes I wondered if it was a curse, this thing I still carried for him. Because I still loved him.
It was solid. Immovable.
Even after everything.
Even though he hurt me.
Even though he tossed me aside like I meant nothing.
Even when he should’ve stood by me, should’ve trusted me. But he didn’t.
And still, I loved him.
Maybe this was my curse to bear for the rest of my life.