Chapter 30
AMELIA
“That’s the last of it,” Jude said as he tossed our matching military-style backpacks into the bed of the truck, then poked his head into the cabin and gave it one more look.
I fingered the ends of my newly brown hair as I waited by the bumper. It felt bittersweet to leave the cabin. A little terrifying. The cabin was safe, but Jude had become my safe place too.
We had to put an end to this. We were alive, but we weren’t living. It seemed utterly ridiculous to worry if I would ever see him again once the smoke cleared. So much could happen between now and then. Still, the question had eaten me alive for the last three days.
Every night since I had first made the request, Jude slept in bed with me. And every night since, he hadn’t woken up to make his rounds.
He slept.
That was probably a good thing, considering we had a twelve-hour drive ahead of us. I could snooze away in the passenger’s seat, but he needed to be awake for the trip. I would have offered to drive, but I knew there was no way in hell he’d let me touch the steering wheel.
Jude pulled the front door shut and locked it, then turned his back on the cabin like it was just another building.
My gut sank as I gave in to the onslaught of memories one last time.
The only thing that made me turn away and climb into the truck was the guilt that roiled in my stomach every time I thought about how much I shouldn’t want to stay.
Save for the supplies stored in the cellar, we had erased every piece of evidence that we were ever there.
Was that what it was going to be like after Vegas? Life went on? I went back to teaching? Jude went back to . . . Well, I didn’t know what he would go back to. He certainly couldn’t go back to the Four Horsemen.
Would we just part ways as unlikely friends? Would this ordeal become my “fun fact” whenever I had to suffer through professional development icebreakers?
So this one time, I was kidnapped and hidden away in West Virginia. But it’s cool. We had sex, played cards, and fell in love. Then he took me to Las Vegas and I won a metric fuck ton of money to buy our collective freedom from the mob.
My entire body went numb as tears grew in the corners of my eyes.
We fell in love.
I was supposed to stay away from him.
We fell in love.
I was never supposed to return to the Four Horsemen.
We fell in love.
I was supposed to run from him.
I wasn’t supposed to trust him.
We fell in love.
We fell in love.
We fell in love.
I wasn’t supposed to love him.
But I did.
I wasn’t supposed to live.
But we fell in love.
The truck growled to life as Jude pulled away from the cabin to head down the mountain. I wiped the tears away as we left it all behind.
Safety. Comfort. Home.
It wasn’t supposed to end like this. I was supposed to be relieved. I was supposed to want my life to go back to the way it was.
But I didn’t.
The sun hadn’t started to set, but it was close. By the time we made it out of the woods and onto the road, we’d be blanketed under the cover of darkness.
Neither of us spoke as the journey began.
We didn’t listen to the radio.
Silence and melancholy were our constant companions as we traversed West Virginia and crossed the state line into Ohio. We stopped at a little gas station outside of Dayton for fuel and bathroom breaks.
I didn’t run this time. The thought didn’t even cross my mind. Jude didn’t wait outside the ladies’ room door like a jailer.
He knew I’d come right back to him.
We snacked on protein bars for breakfast between Dayton and Indianapolis but kept on driving in total silence.
The sun began to rise as we crossed through Lafayette, Indiana. I was exhausted, but sleep was a flighty lover—teasing me with a gentle caress, never sticking around.
Jude reached across the cab, took my hand in his, then brought it to his lips and kissed it. “It’s almost over.”
I didn’t know if he meant the situation with John Valentine or us. Either way, I didn’t let his hand go.
I wasn’t at all surprised when Jude pulled into a long-term parking lot outside of O’Hare. My voice was raspy from disuse when I asked, “Are you blowing up this car too?”
He chuckled. “Hopefully not. Cole knows where it’ll be if I can’t come back to move it.”
The thought that Jude might not come back made bile rise into my throat.
I opened my mouth to argue with him—to start planning another way out—when Jude squeezed my hand. “Don’t worry about me, little fox.”
I swallowed. “Easier said than done.”
“Amelia—”
Tears rolled down my cheeks as I squeezed his hand back. “I care. Okay? I’m sorry, but I do. I know I’m not supposed to, but I think I—”
Jude blinked at me like I was a figment of his imagination.
Then, I was in his arms. He pulled me across the bench seat into a backbreaking hug.
He cradled my head in his palm and pressed his cheek to my temple, breathing heavily as if I was the life preserver that kept him from going under.
Slowly, I wrapped my arms around him too.
He didn’t kiss me.
He held me like he needed to.
“I don’t want you to leave me like you left the military.” I looked up at him. “What you did—saving me. Saving Joel—it mattered.” My eyes stung with unshed tears. “You matter. To me.”
Jude’s throat constricted as he swallowed and nodded.
He opened his mouth, the corners of his lips trembling as he sucked in a breath, but he couldn’t form the words.
Whatever he had been about to say vanished.
He held me closer and buried his head in the crook of my neck.
“You matter to me. A lot.” The words were muffled, but the meaning was crystal clear.
Tiredness overcame me. Snuck in as I sank into his chest. Jude held me a moment longer, then kissed the top of my head. “We need to keep moving. We’ll sleep on the train.”
We cleared out the truck, each shouldering a backpack.
Jude handed me a thrift-store wallet that had my new ID and a little petty cash.
He was carrying the bulk of the money we had fled Atlantic City with.
We’d been frugal over the last two weeks, not spending more than necessary so we had as much to gamble with as possible.
Thankfully, Cole had the eighty thousand I had already won safely stored away.
. . . Wherever he was.
We took the Blue Line to Union Station, where we boarded the Southwest Chief that would take us to Arizona.
Whoever booked the tickets for us had sprung for a roomette, giving us a chance to lay down and sleep as much as possible along the trip. The biggest bonus, in Jude’s opinion, was that it kept us away from prying eyes. For the next thirty-five hours, we’d hunker down, sleep, and strategize.
The attendants hadn’t blinked twice when they checked my ticket or ID. Jude had used the name I went by at the Four Horsemen for my new ID to keep things simple. For all they knew, I really was Angela. Hopefully, Vegas would buy it too.
Jude didn’t waste any time in turning our two seats into bunk beds. He had to be exhausted. I went to take the top bunk, but he stopped me with a hand around my waist. “Sleep with me.”
I eyed the bed that was more consistent with the width of a couch than a bed. It would barely be big enough for me, much less Mr. Built-like-a-fridge.
“Please,” he asked as the train began to jostle.
I still hadn’t gotten used to him with a shaved head and a thin layer of jet-black hair. Granted, I hadn’t gotten used to myself as a brunette either. We’d done what we had to do. And, so far, it was working just like he said.
I stole the blankets that were intended for my bed as Jude lay down first, then guided me down on top of him.
A flood of tension released from his body the moment my head hit his chest.
He was snoring before we left the station.
I stirred as the train slowed and the speakers crackled with an announcement that we were arriving at Fort Madison, Iowa.
Jude was smushed against the wall, holding me against his chest as he slept.
A pang of discomfort settled low in my bladder.
I had been so tired after boarding that using the facilities prior to the train leaving was out of the question. But now, it was inevitable.
I wriggled out of Jude’s arms and stumbled as I found the strength in my legs. Food was going to be necessary too.
I didn’t even have time to reach for the lock on the door before Jude woke in a panic. “What’s the matter?” His eyes were frantic as he wavered between the dead sleep he had been in and the instant fear of me not being with him.
I laid one hand on his chest, and immediately, his racing heart began to slow. “I’m fine. I’m just going to the bathroom.”
He glanced at the window that was covered with a shade. “We’re not moving.”
“We just stopped in Iowa.”
The manic look in his eyes hadn’t left. Jude smoothed his hand over the top of his buzz cut and closed his eyes. “Right. Okay.”
I glanced at the door again. “I really have to pee.”
Jude motioned me out with a flourish of his hand and followed me out into the narrow hall of the car.
Thankfully, the line outside the communal bathroom disappeared as we grew near.
I slipped in first, going as quickly as possible in what was only slightly bigger than an airplane bathroom, then traded places with Jude so he could go.
People bustled around us, settling in as they boarded at the station.
“We probably need to eat something”—Jude cupped my cheek—“but part of me just wants to go back to sleep.”
“I can order room service if you want to go back to the cabin,” I said, thankful that having the roomette afforded us the luxury of not having to go to the dining car unless we wanted multiple courses.
His brows knitted together. “You should stay in the room as much as possible. I can go get us food.”
“Jude.” I squeezed his hand. “Go sleep. You drove us all the way here. I’ll just be a minute.”
He lingered, giving me a doubtful look, but I held my ground. Finally, he relented. “Come right back. Keep your head down.”
“Don’t be memorable. I know,” I teased.
Jude kissed my head, then turned and headed back to our room.
It was then that I realized I had no idea how I was supposed to order room service.
We had been so tired during boarding that we completely missed all the announcements and instructions.
It was fine, though. After an overnight road trip and sleeping on the equivalent of a high-end cot, I needed to stretch my legs.
I’d find an attendant, look around, and then go back to Jude.
I walked the length of two cars, rolling my neck, stretching my arms, and getting the lay of the land before turning to head back to our car to find an attendant.
The call for passengers to take their seats as the train prepared to depart was made over the PA system.
I’d have to wait to get food, but that was fine.
Jude and I had snacks in our bags. Truthfully, as much as I wanted a hot meal, I really wanted Jude for as long as I could hold on to him.
I squeezed to the right as two men shuffled down the walkway. For a second, I didn’t think anything of them. The train was packed. Then, I realized they didn’t have any bags. Not even a backpack. They wore heavy coats even though it was almost seventy degrees outside.
Everything Jude had taught me about clandestine storytelling came back in a torrent. Be forgettable. Look like you belong. Blend in with your surroundings. Don’t hide in camouflage. Hide in plain sight.
I kept walking but chanced a look at the mirror in the top corner of the car just in time to see the men pause and look at my back.
Don’t run. Running is suspicious.
I heard the rhythm of their footsteps change and begin to follow me as I slipped from car to car.
The roomette I shared with Jude came into view and I panicked. If I slipped inside, they might get a peek at Jude. If they worked for Valentine, they would recognize him. What if Jude had locked the door behind him and I was locked out? I’d look guilty as hell if I tried to get into a secured room.
It was then that I realized making it to Arizona would be harder than I thought. Especially since we were trapped on a train with the men who were hunting us.