Chapter 11
BENEDETTA
Living with Hudson is still a bit awkward, made more awkward by the fight we had yesterday.
After I showered and dressed, while I linger in the closet, I stand before my suitcase line.
I haven’t dared unpack for the weeks I’ve been here.
One never knows what might come out of the strange marriage I find myself in.
Yesterday, I thought things were going great, and they were going great until Hudson lost his shit on Brando and I confronted him about it. I hate that he exposed what I’d been feeling about my cousin for a few years now.
Brando didn’t always behave like this toward me.
It started only a couple of years ago, when I would sometimes catch him looking at me the way some other men on Daddy’s payroll do. At first, I thought I caught him in a bad moment or something, but as I got older, I recognized the gaze as lust.
I’ve never had a boyfriend, but I watch movies and homeschool with boys in the classroom online, and I see how they look at me and the other girls.
I know the way they reach out in private, showing us girls their penises.
Yeah, that was before the online school cracked down on student porn.
For what it’s worth, it was better than any sex-ed class.
At least I saw a dick or two before Hudson’s.
His is big. It fills my mouth, and I want to touch it, stroke it, have it inside me.
I want to touch it whenever I want and not feel like I’m doing something wrong.
He’s my husband. I should have access to his body.
Granted, he said I don’t need permission to touch him, and so why I do feel like I do?
Because we fought and now everything is awkward, and I don’t want to go downstairs at all.
I sit on the bed. Well, I can’t spend the rest of the week up here (can I?), and he’s not going anywhere anytime soon (is he?). Maybe he left already.
A pang of something I can’t put my finger on pricks my chest. I would miss him if he left.
I’m a terrible wife.
This is how it all starts. The cheating.
Man comes home and fights with his wife.
This creates distance and discomfort. The couple sleeps in separate rooms, and eventually, separate houses.
That’s not quite how it worked for my parents, though.
Mom would never leave Dad, and Dad would never leave Mom.
It’s just how our family looks at it. Marriage is all in and forever, but happiness in marriage is optional.
Nobody really gives a shit about the happiness in a marriage. It’s all just signed paperwork.
Well, if he left, I’m back on my own, so the house would be empty.
Down the steps I tiptoe, then decide if he’s still around, it’s better to announce my presence by stomping.
The dog barks, and as I round the steps, I see Hudson lying on the couch, the dog sprawled over him.
My heart flutters. He is still around, and I wish I were that dog.
“There’s coffee in the pot,” he says, never taking his eyes off the TV.
“Thanks,” I mutter and pour a cup in the kitchen. I sit at the table and watch the TV from here. At first I think it’s a documentary or a reality show, but soon I realize some of the places look familiar, and when the gate comes into view, I see it’s our gate.
The date at the bottom shows three weeks earlier, and Hudson is leaving the house. The small screen at the corner shows me standing at the door. Hudson pauses and zooms in on my face. I’m not sure what he’s looking for, but I’m sure of how I felt about his leaving so soon after we got married.
We had exchanged barely two words: I do.
Hudson presses Play, and the next screen shows men dressed in black leaving and other men replacing them. I presume it’s security and recognize some of the men as my dad’s. Daddy provides security for me.
Brando is entering the gates by punching in codes and waving to the man in the security booth.
I frown. Why does he have the codes? He’s not on security detail.
It dawns on me that the times he visited, I didn’t let him inside the gates, but of course I never let anyone inside any gates.
Other people vet who comes and goes from the house, both at Daddy’s and here.
Brando speaks with Hudson’s chauffeur. I can tell Brando’s getting agitated, and I shift in my chair, my heart pounding. Brando grabs the man by the throat and pulls out a stack of pictures, then waves them in front of the man’s face.
Hudson zooms in. It’s clear Brando is threatening the driver with something he’s got on him. The confrontation lasts a few minutes before the driver leaves. My cousin fusses with his hair and fixes his clothes, then walks up the steps and rings.
Gerald opens, and Brando enters, then waits for me in the foyer.
There’re no cameras inside, but from the outside, I can see myself walking down the steps to meet him.
Hudson fast-forwards through some other images and pauses again when Brando returns a few days later. Same drill. He’s got the security pass for our front gates, and all the men on the property are my dad’s. And I’m pretty sure the two cars permanently parked on the street are also Daddy’s.
My cousin comes inside again, visiting with me.
Hudson fast-forwards to when Brando leaves.
I’m walking him out this time, and we hug goodbye.
Hudson zooms in again on my face. I lean in.
I look uncomfortable, my hands hovering over Brando’s shoulders but not touching him, and my head is pulled back a bit as if I’m trying to keep my distance.
Hudson presses Play, and the image of my cousin in slow motion hits the screen. On the other side, he’s closing his eyes and burying his nose into the crook of my neck, one hand fisted at my back as if trying not to touch me the way he shouldn’t in the first place.
I sip my coffee, waiting for Hudson to move on, but he doesn’t. The leather of the couch squeaks, and I hear my husband pad to the kitchen.
I stand and back away.
Hudson proceeds to the sink and drops his coffee cup in, then turns to me.
There’s something feral in his gaze. I back up some more, plastering my body to the cupboards.
He’s wearing black pajama bottoms and bare feet, but what really stands out is how hard he is.
The silk of those pajamas shows off his impressive size.
He stalks toward me and places both hands on the counter, caging me in.
“I didn’t do anything wrong,” I say firmly, swallowing because I’m scared he might get violent. Men are violent.
“I know.”
“You do?”
“Mmhm.” He’s watching me, his eyes taking on a darker shade. I find his pent-up aggression sexy. I find his self-control even sexier. A man who can control himself is a man who controls everything else and everyone around him.
When Hudson left, Brando took over the house security, my security, threatened Hudson’s staff, and walked all over Hudson’s property as if he owned it, and that must feel like he pissed on Hudson’s territory. Hudson won’t stand for it. I just know he won’t.
“I’ll take care of it,” I say the way my Daddy taught me. He smiles, and I push on. “Daddy won’t do it.”
“Because Brando is family?”
I nod. “That and because it’s not that important.”
Hudson presses his body against mine, and his lips linger on the top of my head. I use the opportunity to wrap my arms around his waist and pull him closer to me.
Good Lord, he smells enticing and his body feels great. All hard muscle and maleness, and I sniff his chest before pressing my face against it. His heart beats steadily in my ear.
Hudson trails kisses down my temple to my cheek, then to my ear, where he whispers, “Do you want to talk about this later and go upstairs now?”
I nod.
“I can’t hear you.”
“Yes, sir.”
He picks up the hem of my dress, then lifts and removes it. I’m left in a black lace thong. He pushes back from the counter. “Hurry up, Princess, or I’ll take you on the counter.”
“I’m okay with that.”
He turns me by my shoulders and swats my ass, then presses his hardness against it. “You’re only okay with that because you have no idea what you’re asking for.” He yanks my hair and bites my neck. “Get upstairs.” But he’s holding me, and I can’t move until he lets go.
He swats my ass again.
I run upstairs, Hudson on my heels, and the dog starts barking and running with us. I burst into my bedroom.
“Wrong room,” Hudson shouts.
I rush to the end of the hallway to his bedroom and open it.
The scent of him hits me where I ache the most, and I sit on his massive bed just as he walks in, dog right behind him.
Hudson bends and presses his palm on the dog’s face and pushes Prince outside so he can close the door.
We hear scratching and whining. I feel bad, though not that bad when Hudson comes out of the bathroom naked.
Because I heard water running in the sink, I thought he went to wash his hands.
His nakedness catches me by surprise and makes my heart race.
He stands in front of me and picks up my legs as he drops to his knees. My panties come off, and I lie back with my legs spread and Hudson’s head between them. I grab the sheets and bring them to my nose.
They smell like him, and his scent makes me so horny, I practically feel my pussy pulse while Hudson teases my entrance with his thick fingers.
He slides them over my clit, then I feel his tongue licking my pucker hole, driving me to highs I never reached with my own fingers.
I’m slick and achy, and Hudson’s kneading my breasts, tweaking my nipples.
My legs start shaking because I can’t control my body anymore, and I beg him to stop and continue at the same time.
His five-o’clock shadow rubs against my entrance, and his fingers tease my clit and move rapidly over it.
Pressure develops in my lower belly. I gasp, “I’m coming.
” I grab his hair and hold him, but he detaches from my pussy and snatches my wrists, then moves over me, one hand lifting me and positioning my body under him higher on the bed so my head rests on the pillow.
Hudson wipes his mouth, then kisses me. I can still taste myself on him, and I moan into his mouth, lifting my hips.
He settles between my thighs. One hand disappears from around my face. I think he’s positioning himself down there. I grow nervous and freeze when I feel the tip of him at my entrance. “It only hurts the first time,” he says and slowly pushes inside me.
I bite my lip as he stretches me with his fat cock, then he lowers his head and makes out with me as he pushes deeper inside, then pulls back.
I moan into his mouth. It’s both painful and pleasant, and I’m confused as he glides in and out of me, pushing inside me deeper with each thrust. I’m clutching his shoulders and fisting his hair, begging him for nothing and everything.
We make out as he fucks me, sweat making our bodies sticky.
My husband pushes my knee up and away from my body, then starts grinding his pelvis against my clit.
“Princess, you’re perfect,” he says. “I always wondered,” he whispers as he glides into me.
It’s torture. I’m so hot and desperate, raking my nails over his back.
I want to come, but he’s teasing me and moving slowly, drawing out the pleasure.
“When and if I’ll ever marry. Then I saw you, and I knew. I knew you were mine.”
Tears sting my eyes, but I’m not sad. There’re all these emotions I don’t quite know what to do with. Hudson stops kissing me, lifts up on his elbows, and pounds into me. I come screaming, and he’s pounding me still, grunting, his jaw taut and a snarl forming on his face.
I wrap my fingers over his neck and squeeze gently. Hudson throws back his head, his back arches, and I feel the jet of cum spray inside my channel.
Emptied, Hudson flips onto his back and takes me with him so that I’m lying on him the way our dog did on the couch.
I stare out the window at the sun and the trees and the birds and feel loved and protected, but most of all understood.
I never would’ve mentioned how I felt around Brando to anyone else.
Not to my mom and definitely not to my dad.
They’d dismiss it. But Hudson sees what I feel and expresses it with a clarity that validates my feelings.