Good Sisters

6. Sophie

I clenched my hands together as Robyn talked at me about what she needed, wanted and deserved. She was wearing leggings and an oversized jumper with the arms pulled down over her hands. Her hair was unwashed and tied up, she had no make-up on, but she still managed to look stunning. She had so much potential, but her attitude was appalling. She sat back in the chair opposite me, pouting like a grumpy toddler.

‘The thing is, Robyn, you turned up two hours late to the shoot. The company had to pay studio costs and the photographer and the stylist for their time.’

She shrugged. No sign of remorse. ‘I woke up feeling uncomfortable in my skin. I needed to get into the right headspace so I went to a yoga class and had some me-time. There was no point in turning up when I was feeling all, like, negative and down on myself. When I arrived, I was in a good place and feeling up for it.’

It was always about how she was, her feelings, her aura, her headspace … I was sick and tired of listening to Robyn’s bullshit.

‘They said that after arriving two hours late you complained about the water not being room temperature and the snacks not being vegan.’

Robyn looked affronted. ‘I mean, yeah! Everyone knows I’m vegan, and who drinks cold water? Like, hello, are we living in the olden days?’

‘You cannot arrive two hours late and complain. The only thing you should have done was apologize profusely and do an amazing job.’

Robyn frowned. ‘Listen, Sophie, back in the old days when you modelled, women let themselves be treated badly, but my generation,’ she thumped her chest, ‘is not letting anyone walk over us. We know our rights. We know our worth and our value. Hashtag MeToo.’

Hashtag You’re An Entitled, Spoiled, Bad-mannered Pain In My Arse.

I kept my voice steady. ‘Back in the old days, as you put it, we turned up on time because it’s called being professional. As for the temperature of our water, we didn’t cause a fuss about it because it was, and still is, considered rude to complain when someone offers you a free beverage. The client is furious and is insisting that the agency covers the cost of the two lost hours. Quentin and I will not be covering the cost of you being late. It’s coming out of your commission. So the total remuneration for you on this campaign is a hundred and eighty-nine euros.’

Robyn’s eyebrows flew up. ‘Are you joking right now? My commission is eight thousand.’

‘It was, but after costs it’s now a hundred and eighty-nine.’

She stood up. ‘That’s illegal!’

‘No, it isn’t. It’s called wasting client’s time and money, and on top of that your behaviour reflected badly on this agency.’

‘I don’t give a flying fuck about this agency. I want my money. My dad’s a lawyer. I’ll sue you.’

‘Go ahead, Robyn, you haven’t got a leg to stand on.’

‘I’ve two legs actually, two great legs. I will not be treated like this. I will not be bullied by some old, washed-up model, who’s jealous of me.’

Ouch. Talk about hitting my Achilles heel. This girl was a piece of work and I’d had enough.

Using my ‘Ice Voice’, as Jack called it, I said, ‘I think it’s time for you to leave.’

Robyn grabbed her oversized bag and headed towards the door. ‘I quit,’ she screamed. ‘Your top model is leaving this dump of an agency. Good luck trying to survive without me.’ She strode out of my office and down the corridor, then disappeared into the lift.

Quentin came out of his office and stood in the doorway to mine. ‘What in the name of God is going on?’

‘Robyn just quit.’

‘Because we’re charging her for the client’s bill?’

‘Yes, and because she’s an overindulged pain in the arse.’

‘Agreed, but she was a good earner.’

‘Don’t worry. I’ve just signed a knock-out – Angelika, who will easily fill Robyn’s shoes. She’s from Lithuania, actually appreciates working and is happy to drink water, no matter what the temperature.’

Quentin grinned. ‘Robyn was a royal pain the arse. What a drama queen. Show me the new girl.’ He came into my office, where I had Angelika’s photos laid out on the table. He oohed and aahed. ‘Well done, Sophie. She’ll make herself and us a fortune.’

‘And no more dealing with Robyn and her dramas.’

‘Praise Jesus.’ Quentin laughed. He put down Angelika’s photos and pushed his designer tortoiseshell glasses up his nose. ‘How are things with you? Is Louise still ordering you all about? Has Daddy popped his cherry with delicious Dolores?’

I swatted his arm. ‘Stop it! Dad is heartbroken. I found him looking at his wedding album last night when I called in. He’s lost without Mum. She always organized everything and made plans and invited friends over, but now she’s gone and he doesn’t seem to know what to do with himself. Julie thinks Dolores is a nice bit of company for him, but I think she’s a predator. As for Louise, she’s calmed down a bit. She’s working on some big project in work and she has some young intern who’s driving her nuts, so thankfully she’s distracted with that, which is a relief to us all.’

‘And dare I mention Pippa?’

My stomach clenched at the sound of her name. Pippa was a big fat thorn in my side. Quentin knew all about her. I could trust him with my life. Quentin had saved me when Jack lost everything by hiring me as a model booker. He’d seen me in all stages of my life – as one of his agency’s top models, as a rich housewife and then as a penniless basket case. This job had paid the bills and kept us afloat while Jack had struggled to rebuild his life. Not only was Quentin my fairy godfather, but he also disliked Pippa every bit as much as I did.

I sighed. ‘It’s the usual Pippa story. She was supposed to have Robert this weekend but something came up so we now have him … yet again.’

‘Jack is lucky that you’re so fond of his son. Other women would really not be so tolerant. You’ve been amazing and I hope Jack is busy thinking up ways to thank you.’

I loved that Quentin always had my back. Jack was lucky: I was very patient about having Robert so much. He was a sweet kid but, at the end of the day, he wasn’t mine. I had one daughter, whom I was finding difficult to manage; an ex who was now not an ex, who I loved, but we had our issues; and a very busy job. I didn’t want to be a full-time stand-in mother for Robert. I was sorry that he had a selfish, feckless mother, but I was beginning to resent all the time he spent with us because Jack and I never got time alone any more. Robert was very clingy to his dad because of his unreliable mother and wouldn’t let Jack out of his sight. I was worried about the future: would Robert be damaged because Pippa preferred partying to being with him? Would he act out and cause chaos when he was a teenager? He was already taking a lot of Jack’s attention away from Jess and me. I worried about helping to raise a boy. I didn’t know boys. Julie’s boys were a handful. Was I up to the task?

‘You know,’ Quentin said leaning closer, ‘rumour has it that Pippa is sleeping around and has grown very fond of the white powder.’

‘I knew it,’ I said. ‘I actually thought Pippa was high the last time I saw her because her eyes were glassy. I was right! I said so to Jack at the time, but he said I was being ridiculous, that Pippa would never do drugs, that she was too into her health. What is she thinking, though?’

‘She’s probably feeling pretty low,’ Quentin said. ‘I mean, her career is on a downward slide. She has that one little make-over slot on the morning show, but it’s a five-minute piece of fluff. All of her UK work has dried up, given to younger, prettier girls. She has to be feeling the pressure. It’s daunting for women like her – they forget they’re ten-a-penny until it’s too late. And I don’t think she has many other talents to offer the world.’

I knew I should feel sorry for a fellow woman with a declining career at such a young age, but she had been so mean to Jess that I wasn’t capable of feeling sympathy for her. Poor Jess had adored Pippa – to the point of driving me crazy and making me pathetically jealous – but she had been chucked aside the minute Robert was born. Since then, Pippa had barely given Jess the time of day and, thankfully, after licking her wounds, Jess had seen Pippa for the bitch she was.

‘Who’s Pippa sleeping with?’ I loved that Quentin always had the latest gossip.

‘Jackson Flinch, and I also heard she’s been shagging Paul Howarth – you know, the millionaire tech guy?’

‘No surprise she’s sleeping with rich men. I hope she moves in with one and starts looking after her son.’

Quentin pursed his lips. ‘Unlikely, I’m afraid. None of the men are sticking around. She’s got a bit of a reputation about town. She’s not as young or gorgeous as she once was and apparently she gets messy when she’s out.’

‘Oh, God, I really want her to be in a stable relationship so she can be a better mother. It’s not fair on Robert, Jack or me. Why did Jack have to bloody well have a child with her? It would be so much easier if there was no Robert, because Pippa would be out of our lives. Instead she’s plonked in the middle of them … for ever.’

‘It’ll get easier as Robert gets older and needs less minding. And there’s always boarding school.’ Quentin grinned at me.

I laughed. ‘Not a bad idea, but Jack would never send his precious son to boarding school. And I don’t think boys get easier to parent, or any teenagers for that matter. I’d send Jess to a boarding school in the morning. She’s driving me insane.’

‘I won’t have a bad word said about my beautiful Jess.’

‘I love that you love Jess, but she is being a very bolshie teenager right now.’

‘Yes, but she’s dealing with raging hormones and she’s missing her grandmother,’ he reminded me. ‘Go easy on her.’

‘I’ll try, but I’m struggling too. I miss Mum so much. It’d be nice if Jess wasn’t so rude to me. I’d like a bit of comfort and kindness too.’

Quentin put his short, chubby arms around me and kissed my cheek. ‘I know you’re heartbroken and I’m here for you. Now, come on, wait until I tell you the model gossip I heard earlier. It’s so good it’ll make you forget all your woes, I promise.’

When I got home, Jess was in her bedroom as usual, screeching on the phone to her friends. Had I been that loud and shrill when I was fifteen? I didn’t think so. At Jess’s age I had already started modelling part-time and making my own money. I had a boyfriend called Henry I’d met on a shoot. He was very handsome and hot and, truth be told, not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but then again, neither was I. Louise called him ‘Henry the Halfwit’. He was terrified of her, as were the rest of us. We only lasted about six months, but he was nice to me and I’d liked him.

Even Mum was a bit intimidated by Louise because she was impossible to argue with, even when she was a kid. From the age of about ten, Louise’s vocabulary was off the charts because she ate books. She read all day and almost all night too. She would debate and question everything. I mean every single thing. If Mum asked her to hang up the washing, Louise would go off on a tangent, using all these long words, as to why she shouldn’t and wouldn’t do it. Eventually Mum would shove her out of the kitchen and do it herself, muttering, ‘Bloody know-it-all.’ Teenage Louise didn’t have conversations with you, she gave lectures. Julie was the only one she talked to like an actual person. With Julie, Louise had always been nicer and less dismissive. Gavin and I had got the you’re-young-stupid-and-irrelevant Louise. Mum always tried to excuse her to us by saying, ‘It’s just that Louise’s brain works so fast she gets frustrated,’ but it had hurt at the time. No one wants to be told they’re thick. Thankfully, she was mellowing as she got older.

Although it was still a huge surprise when Mum and Louise had got so close after Clara was diagnosed. It was nice to see a softer side to Louise, and Mum had been brilliant. Louise had let Mum into her life and leaned on her – for the first time, really. It was lovely to see. Mum adored Clara and would have taken a bullet for her. She felt the same about Jess too. God, I missed her.

I shook my head, as if I could dislodge the memories. Some days it was so hard to keep my brain on track – I kept wandering off into the past, remembering moments with Mum, us lot as kids and teenagers, how she took care of us and parented us. Ever since she’d died, it was like I was living half in the past. Julie said she felt the exact same. It was weird to me how grief worked and how the flashbacks kept coming. In a way the memories were a comfort because it meant I wasn’t forgetting Mum. I was actually remembering more about her than I ever had before. But right now I had to pull myself out of my memories and deal with my own tricky teen. I genuinely don’t know how Mum had survived this with four of us.

I knocked gently on Jess’s bedroom door.

‘What?’

She was at that ‘charming’ stage where everything she said sounded aggressively defensive.

I opened the door.

She was sprawled on her bed, holding her phone up to her face. ‘What? I’m on the phone to Grace.’

‘Hi, Grace.’ I waved at the phone screen. ‘I need to talk to Jess now.’

‘OMG, you’re so annoying. We were having a really good chat,’ Jess muttered. ‘I’ll deal with this and call you back, okay?’ She hung up.

‘Did you get your report card?’ I ignored her rudeness.

Jess’s face dropped. ‘Yeah.’

‘Can I see it?’

She sat up and pulled her backpack onto her lap. ‘Okay, but you’re not to go mad.’

I tensed. ‘Why would I?’

‘Because I didn’t do great in all my tests this week.’

‘Why not?’ I tried to keep my cool, but Jess doing badly in school was a big trigger for me. I hadn’t worked in school: I’d foolishly relied on modelling for a career and my looks to get me a rich husband. It had worked, temporarily, until it had shattered into a thousand pieces.

‘Because they were hard, Mum. Maths was, like, impossible. Everyone did badly in it, and science was, like, insane. Mr Frederick asked us really hard stuff that we haven’t even studied.’

‘So you’re telling me that your science teacher asked you questions in a test that you had never studied in school?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Well, I’ll have to call him and tell him it’s not fair.’

Jess avoided eye contact. ‘Well, I mean he’d gone over a few bits, but it was really hard. I told you, everyone got bad results.’

‘How did Lisa do?’ I asked. Lisa was my benchmark: she was the kid you wanted yours to be best mates with. She was smart, sweet, studious, polite, always smiling, class captain, head of the science club … Lisa was the dream child.

Jess’s cheeks reddened. ‘You always do this. You always compare me to bloody Lisa, who is, like, a genius and has no actual life except studying. All she does, all day long, is work. Her life is hell.’

‘Really, Jess? Because she looks happy to me. Every time I see her, she’s smiling.’

Jess rolled her eyes. ‘She’s a total nerd. She has never even been to a disco.’

‘Wow, poor Lisa. I bet when she’s running some billion-euro company she’ll really regret that.’

‘When she’s living in her big mansion, alone with no friends and just, like, loads of books for company, she might actually,’ Jess snapped back.

‘I doubt she’ll be alone with her books if she’s that successful. Hand it over, Jess.’ I put out my hand for the report card that she reluctantly gave me.

It was not good: 53 per cent in science and 48 per cent in maths.

I glared at her. ‘What the hell, Jess? These are way down on last week. You obviously did no work. You need to spend less time on your bloody phone and more time studying.’

The front door opened. Jess jumped off her bed, raced past me and ran to her dad. ‘Help! Mum’s attacking me. It’s not fair, Dad, she’s being really hard on me.’

I went out to the hall, where Jess was standing beside Jack, hanging out of his arm.

‘What’s going on?’ Jack put down his laptop bag and took off his jacket. He turned around and there was Robert behind him, in his school uniform, his bag dangling from his hand, looking like he’d been crying. ‘In you come, Robert,’ Jack said, taking his bag.

‘Oh, hi, Robert,’ I said, shooting Jack a look. ‘I wasn’t expecting you. It’s lovely to see you.’ I reached down to hug him as Jack mouthed, ‘Sorry,’ at me.

I really didn’t need Robert here right now. I wanted Jack to talk to Jess with me about studying and knuckling down.

I pulled out of my hug and said, ‘Sweetie, I need to talk to your dad and Jess. Would you go inside and put on the TV? We’ll be with you in five minutes. Would that be okay?’

Robert nodded and went off without saying anything. As soon as the door shut behind him, I looked at Jack. ‘Why is he here? We have him this weekend, not for the weekdays.’

‘I’m so sorry,’ Jack said, loosening his tie and making his way into the kitchen. ‘Pippa showed up at the office and dumped him with the receptionist. I was in a meeting. The poor child had to sit waiting for two hours before I came and got him. Now his bloody mother isn’t answering her phone, so I guess that means he’s staying with us.’

I stared at the ceiling and took a very deep breath. ‘This is not a good week for the extra pick-ups and minding. I’ve so much on.’

‘I’m up to my neck too,’ he said. ‘We’ll have to text his friend Max’s mum and see if we can sort some lifts out.’

‘Fine,’ I said, wishing Pippa would walk through the door so I could wring her skinny neck. She seriously needed to reset her life and step up as a mother.

‘So what is going on here?’ Jack said. ‘What are you two arguing about now?’

I filled him in on Jess’s poor results.

‘It was the teachers, Dad. They made the tests super-hard to freak us out.’ Jess leaned even closer to her protector.

‘Don’t worry, princess, they’re only Mickey Mouse weekly tests. Let’s just have a family dinner and relax. It’s been a long day for everyone.’

‘Jack.’ My voice was sharp. ‘Jess’s results have been getting worse for the last month. It is not okay.’

Jack looked over his daughter’s shoulder at me. ‘Come on, Sophie, it’s not that big of a deal. Don’t overreact.’

I clenched my fists. ‘It is a big deal. I am not overreacting, I’m pointing out the fact that our daughter’s results are getting worse. I think we need to curb her phone use.’

‘No way!’ Jess’s plaintive little Daddy-save-me-from-psycho-Mum voice was gone and her growl was back. She glared at me.

As usual, Jack took her side. ‘Kids need their phones, Sophie. It’s how they communicate with each other and keep up with what’s going on.’

‘I am well aware of that, Jack, but she doesn’t need it beside her at every hour of every day. She needs to leave it downstairs from seven to ten every evening and then have it for half an hour before she goes to bed.

‘WHAT? Have you lost your mind?’ Jess exploded. ‘My homework usually takes an hour max. What am I supposed to do for the other two hours?’

‘I dunno, Jess – study, read, talk to me and your dad, play with Robert.’

She rolled her eyes. ‘Seriously? Dad? Come on.’

Jack clicked on the kettle. ‘I don’t think depriving Jess of her phone is fair. Why don’t we just see how she does in next week’s tests?’

Typical Jack. Kick everything down the line and deal with it later.

‘No, Jack. We are not going to stick our heads in the sand on this. Jess has to do well in school. She needs to get a good degree and be self-sufficient in life.’

‘Oh, God, not the never-rely-on-anyone-else-to-support-you speech.’ Jess groaned as Jack stifled a smile.

I felt anger simmering. ‘Well, Jess, when I found myself homeless and penniless, I realized that I’d been a complete idiot not to keep working and earning my own money. It was a complete nightmare and I do not want that to happen to you.’

‘I’ve heard this a zillion times. I know. I get it.’

‘Well, if you get it, Jess, go up to your room and start studying.’ I held out my hand for her phone.

‘Dad?’ She looked to Jack.

Jack shrugged. ‘Give your phone to your mum and go up and do your homework. I’ll be up to you later.’

Jess smacked her phone into the palm of my hand and flounced off, muttering under her breath about what a psycho mother she had.

‘To hell with coffee,’ Jack said. He clicked the kettle off, opened the fridge and poured himself a glass of wine.

‘I’ll have one, thanks.’

He poured it for me and handed it to me in silence.

‘What, Jack? Spit it out.’

He took a long swig of wine and sat down opposite me. ‘Sophie, it’s been nine years since I lost everything and we had to move in with your parents. It was a horrible time in all our lives and one I prefer not to think about or dwell on. I’ve worked my bollocks off to rebuild my life and my career. I’m in a really good place, we’re back together, and life is great again.’

‘I know that.’

‘Well, why do you insist on bringing up the past all the time? It happened, Sophie. It was hell, but we survived it and we’re happy now. Can you please stop harking back to it? It drives me nuts.’

I bristled. ‘I’m not harking back to it. I just need Jess to know that life can be tough and she has to be able to rely on herself.’

‘And not a useless man who will let her down?’ Jack drank deeply.

‘That’s not what I said, Jack. I completely respect you for turning everything around, but I was stupid, na?ve and lazy. I don’t want that for Jess. If I hadn’t sat back and let you earn all the money, we could have used my salary when things went belly-up. But I was an idiot, and I will not let my daughter make the same mistakes I did.’ I felt myself begin to get emotional. It still stung that I had been so foolish. The memories of having lost everything overnight still woke me up at night in a cold sweat. Mum used to say to me, ‘When you’ve fully settled back into your relationship with Jack, the past won’t haunt you any more.’ But it did. The fear never fully went away.

‘You weren’t stupid or selfish. You were a great wife and mother, through everything.’

‘Were?’

Jack smiled. ‘Are. But I do think you’re hard on Jess. She’s a good kid.’

‘I know that, but if I don’t stay on her, she’ll fall behind. Believe it or not, Jess, your perfect princess, can be lazy. I want the best for her and we both know that takes work. I want her to understand that effort equals reward and you get nothing from life if you don’t invest in yourself.’

Jack reached over and squeezed my hand. ‘I know. Just go easy on her, please. We want a happy home life as well as a hard-working daughter. There has to be balance.’ He stood up and kissed the top of my head. ‘I’ll go and check on Robert.’

I nodded at him to keep the peace, but I had no intention of going easy on Jess. Over my dead body was she going to fail in school. She would not make the stupid mistakes I had. Absolutely no way.