Chapter 36
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
ASTRID
Calix drove me down another side road in Redwood. I leaned my back against the passenger seat, my mind lost in thoughts of everything that had happened last night and this morning. Kissing Calix? Sneaking behind my best friend’s back? Almost getting caught?
It shouldn’t have given me the thrill that it did.
One of his hands was on the steering wheel, the other on the center console and dangerously close to my thigh. We had been driving for at least twenty minutes. I should’ve been home by now. But it seemed like Calix didn’t want to bring me home either.
Crazy how one night could change everything.
Every time we came to a stop, he peered over at me. “You thinking about Diya?”
“A bit, but more like how we almost got caught. My heart is still racing.”
“Yeah, sneaking past her”—his lips curled into a smirk—“was wild.”
“Wild is an understatement.” I giggled.
He didn’t know about my run-in with his stepfather or about him and his sister sneaking about while their mom was apparently sick. So many secrets that I had to keep to myself, but that I so desperately wanted to tell.
Though it wasn’t just Diya and Calix that were on my mind. That race and Rush, Frasier, Cairo … and then my asshole of a stepbrother who was supposed to be at the race last night and hadn’t shown up.
All of it felt so wrong …
“Have you talked to Rush?” I asked, rubbing my palms together. My phone buzzed in my hand—Frasier again—but I ignored it for now. “Is he okay? I mean, after everything that happened last night.”
Calix’s hand tightened on the wheel. “He’s fine—or at least, he says he is.”
“Why so mad about that?” I asked, noticing his clenched jaw.
“I’m not mad about him being okay.”
“Then why are you clutching the steering wheel like you hate him?”
“Because …”
“Because why?”
“He was asking about you.”
My eyes widened, and I turned my gaze toward the windshield, trying to bite back a smile. Rush was asking about me? Heat flooded through my chest, and I swallowed a giggle. Me?!
“Just wanted to make sure that you got home after the fight,” Calix continued.
I could feel his gaze burning into the side of my face, and I nodded, pretending like this was nothing, like I didn’t like anyone else except him, like Rush asking about me didn’t make me the giddiest girl in the world.
God, I am the biggest slut ever, going after this group of best friends.
“That bothers you?” I asked. “That he was asking about me?”
“Yes.”
Screaming!!!
“Why?” I whispered, peeking over at him.
While driving, he grabbed my thigh. “Because I want you all to myself.”
Pleasure rushed through my entire body, and I pressed my legs together. This was bad. So, so, so bad. Why were they all so jealous of each other and possessive over me? I was a nobody! But, oh Lord, was I really going to make these guys fight over me? Yes.
One hundred percent yes.
“Do you think that Rush is really okay?” I asked, trying to change the subject.
Not because I wanted to change the subject, but because I knew it would drive him wild for me to tell him that I didn’t just want him, that I really wanted the entire friend group. He’d go fucking insane.
“We’ll see,” he murmured, hand still on my thigh.
“We?”
Calix took another side road and drove until we came to the main street, and then he turned into Galaxy Grub, a run-down bar where some kids from Redwood hung out. It was known that the owners gave out free drinks to underage kids.
In the parking lot, I spotted not only Rush’s car, but Cairo’s, Arch’s, and … Frasier’s.
While I liked all the guys, my stomach was twisting. I had been ignoring Frasier’s messages all morning and afternoon. If he saw me walk in with Calix, I didn’t know what would happen. Besides … he had really been using me to get with that girl.
He couldn’t be mad, right?
No, he didn’t deserve for me to be faithful to him. He had known I was using him.
Yet, still, guilt churned in my belly.
“They’re all here,” I muttered, more to myself than to Calix.
Calix parked in an empty spot near the back, beside Frasier, as the silence began stretching between us. I knew I had to go inside, face the questions from Frasier about why I was with Calix … but this was what we had both wanted, right?
After another moment, Calix exited the car. I hesitantly followed after him, heart racing. When we approached the entrance, he grabbed my hand like I was his. And while we had spent last night together, we never really put a label on it.
The inside of Galaxy Grub was exactly as I’d thought it’d look—the warm glow of the lights, the faint smell of greasy food, and the low hum of conversation toward the pool tables in the back.
Arch was hunched over in a booth by the window, complaining about something to Cairo, who sat there so innocently with a textbook.
Rush was at the bar, grabbing a beer from the bartender, one eye completely swollen closed.
Calix tugged me along toward the back, not even saying a word to anyone. His hand was wrapped tightly around mine, keeping it warm. But then my gaze locked on to Frasier’s intense, jealous one.