Chapter 61
CHAPTER SIXTY-ONE
CALIX
My knuckles were raw, split open, and bleeding.
I laid my foot on the accelerator and continued forward, unsure where the hell I was going, but knowing that I needed to get as far away from there as possible. I didn’t want to see Diya and especially not Astrid. Not like this.
The streetlights and rage blurred into a haze around me, my breaths coming in sharp gasps. I clenched my hand around the steering wheel. I wanted to kill him. No, I was going to kill him for what he had done to my sister.
That dickhead had manipulated her, fucked her, and gotten her pregnant.
After speeding all around Redwood for what felt like several hours but somehow only minutes at the same time, I found myself at the Overlook. Light glimmered off the ocean down below, the mountain of rocks the only thing stopping me from driving into it.
“I hate him,” I snarled, parking and hitting the steering wheel. “I hate him!”
What had he done to her? Why did she want to protect him?
The questions raced through my mind, and I sneered at the windshield, imagining finishing what Astrid had broken up earlier. I wanted him dead. I wanted him to see me when he took his last fucking breath.
How could he do this?! I trusted him.
Someone knocked on my window, but I just gripped the steering wheel tighter.
I didn’t want to fucking talk, and she knew it.
“Calix!” Astrid yelled outside in the cold. “Open up!”
I flared my nostrils and shook my head.
“Please,” she said, knocking some more. “Open the door.”
“I don’t want to talk, Astrid.”
“You don’t want to talk, but you need to.”
A low growl escaped my lips, and I unlocked the door, but didn’t open it for her. She yanked the door open, grumbling to herself, and crossed her arms, her eyes fixed on me. I stared back, empty inside.
Between her not talking to me yesterday because she’d thought that Mira and I were actually together to walking in on my sister and my stepfather this morning, I didn’t feel fucking anything anymore.
Her gaze flickered down to my knuckles. “You’re bleeding.”
“I don’t care.”
Once she exhaled sharply, she stepped closer and brushed her fingers against my wrist. Her skin felt warm against mine, and I loathed the reaction my body had to her. I didn’t want to feel anything, especially not this and especially not now.
“You think beating up your stepfather is going to help Diya?” she said.
“Yes.”
“Damn it, Calix!” she snapped. “No, it’s not. You beating the shit out of him is not going to stop your sister from being pregnant. It’s not going to stop your sister’s feelings for him. And it’s certainly not going to stop them from being together.”
“My sister doesn’t have feelings for that fucker,” I growled, yanking myself away from her. “Besides, I don’t give a fuck if it helps. He deserves worse than a couple of fists to his face. I want to fucking kill him, Astrid.”
“If you lay another hand on him, Diya will hate you forever.” She furrowed her brow. “And what about you?! What happens if he presses charges? What happens if you do that and you get yourself thrown in prison? You’re going to throw your entire life away for this?!”
My breathing came out heavy, my chest rising and falling too fast.
“I don’t care,” I said through clenched teeth.
But I did care.
Not about him. Not about the consequences.
About the way Astrid was looking at me right now, as if … she was afraid of losing me.
She reached up and cupped my face in her hands, forcing me to look at her. “Don’t lie.”
“I’m not.”
“Yes, you are. You think hurting him will make you feel better. But it won’t.”
I shook my head, my heart hammering inside my chest. “Then what the hell am I supposed to do, Astrid? Just stand by and let him walk free? Let him act like he didn’t ruin her life? He’s still married to my fucking mom.”
I didn’t know what the hell I was doing anymore. And Astrid was getting too close, her fingers now stroking my cheeks, making me feel shit I didn’t want to. When I looked at her, I felt something other than rage. Something that scared me just as much.
It always had, since the day I had met her when we were just kids.
Before I could stop myself, I leaned forward and kissed her.
There were so many things that I wanted to say to her, but I couldn’t get them to come out.
How could I tell her how I felt when she thought I was cheating on her with Mira?
How could I ask her for help with this when she hated me so much that she didn’t give me a chance to explain what had happened?
She placed a hand on my chest and gently pushed it away a moment later. “Calix …”
I stared at her for a couple of moments, then turned away and wiped my lips. “Sorry, I—”
She seized my face in her hands once more, climbed into my lap, and kissed me back.