Chapter 63
CHAPTER SIXTY-THREE
CALIX
Astrid sat in my lap, breathing heavily while staring at me in surprise. I looked back with the same expression, my brows drawn together slightly. The words still hung in the air between us, thick and heavy.
I love you.
In the heat of the moment, I’d let it slip out. I was so engrossed in every part of her, so obsessed with her, so desperate for her, that I let it out, and I couldn’t take it back. But she said it too. She had told me that … that she loved me.
Her gaze dropped to my lips for a brief moment, and then she tucked some hair behind her ear and smiled, moving closer to brush her nose against mine. “I love you, Calix. I love you so much. I’m not going to take it back.”
I pressed my forehead against hers, my heart racing inside my chest. My hands were on her waist, drawing her closer. I brushed my lips over hers, everything melting away outside of us. All my pain, all my fears, all my rage … gone.
While I wasn’t supposed to say it, she wasn’t supposed to say it back.
And now …
“I love you,” I murmured against her mouth. “I’m sorry.”
“What are you sorry for?”
After pulling back enough to look at her, I cupped her face in my hands. Her cheeks were flushed, her lips were swollen, and her eyes were filled with … with something that I had only seen when she looked at Frasier.
“For everything that’s happened these past few days,” I whispered.
She blinked at me a couple of times. “It’s okay.”
“No, it’s not.”
She furrowed her brow. “I don’t know what Mira means to you, but …”
“She means nothing to me.” I brushed my thumb alongside her cheekbone, desperate for her to believe it. “You know that I don’t say things I don’t mean. She means nothing to me. I fucking love you.”
“Then why was she in your car?”
“Because she showed up. Not because I wanted her there.” I tensed at the thought of her crawling into my car, blackmailing me with a video of the night we had been at the bar with Astrid. “She got into my car because she wanted to talk. She had a recording of us together.”
Astrid tensed. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“How could I? You refused to talk to me, Astrid.” I shook my head because that wasn’t an excuse. I knew the reasons that she’d refused to talk to me. “It doesn’t matter. What matters is that I didn’t want her showing Diya because I know you don’t want her finding out.”
Astrid stayed quiet for a long time, then nodded. “What did she want this time?”
“To get under my skin, make me second-guess things. She always plays those games.”
She dropped her gaze. “Did you kiss her?”
“No. I don’t want her, Astrid. I only dated her to make you jealous.”
“You what?”
“I only dated her to make you jealous,” I whispered. “But you were never supposed to find out.”
A small smile crawled onto her lips. “Really?” Then she giggled behind her hand.
I chuckled and tucked some hair behind her ear. “Yes, really.”
“Okay,” she said, nodding along.
“Okay?”
“I believe you, but if she tries anything else, I’m breaking her nose.”
“Go for it.” Another chuckle left my lips. “But maybe retake those jiujitsu classes or ask Rush how to fight before that. I’ve seen the way you punch.”
Astrid’s eyes lit up, and she punched me straight in the shoulder. “Not nice. I punch really hard actually. I could mess her up, if I wanted to.”
“Oof,” I murmured, rubbing my shoulder so she’d feel better even though it hadn’t hurt one bit. “Sure can, Hellcat.” I cleared my throat. “Can we talk about my sister for a sec? I … did you know about it?”
She paused, her smile fading. “Yes.”
“How long?”
“For a while,” she whispered, placing her hands on my chest. “She didn’t want you to know because she knew how you’d react. She’s going to be okay. Your stepfather didn’t take advantage of her, and your mom … I don’t know … I can’t really get into it.”
I blew a breath out of my nose, not wanting to dive any deeper into this mess, but knowing that I needed to get to the bottom of it. I needed to find out the truth. I needed to know what had really happened.
Because Diya was my sister.
And I’d vowed to protect her from anything and everything.