Chapter 11
On second thought, it was a brilliant move to use diarrhea as an excuse.
It might’ve literally saved my life.
While Achi was staring in horror at her clothes that were collateral damage from the powder, Auntie Baby said, “Nika must be so dehydrated. When I had a bad case of LBM from food poisoning, I started seeing things and acting woozy too!”
And since my sister is too polite to murder me in front of Auntie Baby, Achi just stood there in silent rage while Auntie Baby told me to rest and finish the rice porridge she made me. Ma even left one of her green jade bracelets on my bedside table for “better healing.”
Although once Auntie Baby left, Achi convinced Ma to make me clean up this whole mess on my own.
I spend an hour trying to vacuum one tiny section of the room before focusing more on soaking in every moment with Pa.
He asks me to catch him up on what’s been happening with Achi and me.
When I touch on Ma, I’m very careful to leave out any mention of Public Enemy Dentist No.
1. While I have way more stories to tell him, he insisted that I try to get some sleep once it was past midnight.
When I peek through one eye, Pa is still hovering by my couch in the dark.
“Saw that,” Pa says, catching me, and I close my eyes again.
He laughs and the sound fills the room. “You used to do that when you were a baby too. Every time we put you down for a nap. One of your eyes would blink open once you thought we weren’t watching. ”
“So I’ve been sleep deprived since I was born?”
“You were born talented too.” Pa smiles. “Your mom and I signed you up for voice lessons after we heard you cry in perfect pitch.”
Another thing I haven’t mentioned to Pa—singing isn’t a part of my life anymore.
When I was nine, a doctor told me I had to get my tonsils removed.
I was getting tonsillitis multiple times a year growing up and the doctor said this could affect my breathing.
I was terrified because I thought it meant I couldn’t sing anymore.
Right before the surgery, Pa came to my side and tapped the side of my wrist three times.
“Superstar, do you know the secret of the universe?”
I shook my head and he explained, “When something bad happens to you, the universe actually owes you something good in return. So once you get through this operation, something really great is coming your way.”
I’m not sure if I believed Pa at that moment, but a month later, I continued my voice lessons and got to hit notes my voice couldn’t reach before. That summer, I was picked to play Ariel in my first-ever musical.
So I started seeing the world like this—that there was a delicate balance in how things worked out. If something bad happens to you, then the world owes you something good in return. Sounded fair, logical.
When Ma’s take-out order got delivered to another house by accident years ago, she started baking more at home. When Achi missed out on being valedictorian by a point, she ended up getting awarded a merit scholarship to her dream university.
But then one day, my dad didn’t pick me up from school.
And my sister told me he was gone.
I didn’t hold my breath or wait for the universe to deliver anything “good” after that. There was nothing that the universe could give me that would make up for losing my favorite person.
And then it hits me again—how fleeting this whole moment might be.
“Pa?”
My voice catches before I finally voice the question that’s been in the back of my mind.
“Do you know how long you’ll be here?”
Pa’s face tightens before he smiles. “I just got here and you’re getting rid of me already?” he teases, and floats closer so he’s seated beside me on the bed. “Do you remember when we performed together at the office Christmas party?”
Whenever I asked her what happened to Pa, Ma kept changing the topic, saying that we can talk about it at a better time. The first time Ma brought us to the mall after Pa passed, I remember asking her again about that day.
Achi was the one who pivoted the conversation. She pulled me aside and whispered, “Let’s try to make Ma happy today.”
So I ride along with Pa on memory lane. “Didn’t we perform the Jose Mari Chan song?”
Pa smiles and starts humming the Christmas carol.
I listen to Pa’s stories, even while all the unanswered questions and the constant worry of him disappearing keeps nagging at me. I guess it’s my way of listening to Achi and letting him be happy.