Chapter 16
The stomach is really an amazing gift to humankind.
If you ever need an excuse or an alibi, just say that you have stomach problems. Highly recommend!
People actually leave me alone when I say my stomach is feeling weird.
When Ma came by the bathroom to check on me, I said my stomach was feeling funny.
She then gave me space, and that’s the proper thing to do when someone hints that they have diarrhea.
On the other hand, my sister, who’s apparently unfamiliar with common courtesy, kept hammering on the door.
I turned on the shower and blasted music until I heard her footsteps finally walk away from the bathroom.
Using the funny stomach excuse also worked wonderfully with Kayla. Instead of asking me how I’m handling seeing Ma in a wedding gown, she’s messaging me with links on how to diagnose my stomach issues. Annoyingly, Seph has been trying to check up on me too.
He sends me a video on how Apple will create a teleportation device worth $29 million.
Seph: if you forgive me, i’ll donate to your teleportation fund
I don’t reply and ignore all his messages.
You’d think that my body would be at its limit from being upset at Dr. Derrick, Achi, and Ma—but it turns out I still have space in my heart to stay pissed at Seph too.
Thankfully, it seems like I have the bathroom all to myself— my safe corner of the world where I can pretend everything’s okay in peaceful ignorant bliss.
And then I see a pale detached hand pass through the door and wave at me.
“Can I come in?” I hear Pa’s voice from outside.
The hand holds out a thumbs-up and seconds later, a thumbs-down.
I wipe my eyes with one of the hand towels before I mutter, “Come in.” Pa’s body proceeds to pass through the bathroom door and slides next to my position sitting against the foot of the tub.
“How’re you doing, Superstar?”
“Great,” I lie, and blow my nose.
“I always found listening to the best heartbreak song of all time cathartic too.”
Pa sways and hums along when Mariah continues playing through the bathroom speakers.
When it loops back to “We Belong Together,” Pa mimics playing the piano riff in the beginning.
I can’t help but laugh when he joins in the final chorus, his voice croaking when he attempts once again to belt it out with Mariah.
I remember that this is how he used to cheer me up too.
He would play music (often songs by singers with operatic vocal talents) and try to reach the notes until his vocal cords sounded like they were going to give out.
He only stopped singing once he saw me laughing.
He’s out of breath by the time the song finishes.
“You would think ghosts wouldn’t really need oxygen,” he jokes.
“… How do you do that?” I ask him.
“Lots of vocal training, those breathing exercises I used to teach you—”
“Not the singing,” I cut him off, and consider how to word my question. “You saw Ma in the wedding dress. You must know that she’s … she’s…”
“Engaged.”
I scan Pa’s face and his expression remains the same. Calm as ever.
“And that doesn’t bother you?”
He pauses.
“You’re not mad? Hurt? Jealous?!”
Pa leans back and takes a deep breath. “I guess when you get older, Superstar, emotions don’t overwhelm you as much anymore. You learn to manage your feelings better. That’s what helps you deal with the hard things that life brings you.”
I still have no idea how he does it. How am I supposed to manage my emotions when my insides feel like a ticking time bomb? I mean, I’m even confused about how my sister handles her feelings. How can Achi be so mature and completely happy about Ma and Dr. Derrick?
Maybe that’s the point of growing up. Does getting older mean you’re not supposed to feel things anymore?
So I try to shove every emotion back down, not let things get to me when I ask another question.
“Is my theory true?” I ask, and Pa turns to me. “That you only have forty days here?”
Pa smiles at me then. “Nika, let’s just enjoy the time we have.”
“But it’s true?”
That’s the only moment his expression breaks; the smile falls from his eyes. “I didn’t want you to worry,” Pa says. “I was trying to protect you from knowing…”
“I’d rather know,” I assure him.
A beat passes before Pa finally nods. “You’re right.”
“Okay,” I say, steadying my voice.
“So that means you only have thirty-nine days left?”
He turns to me and puts two thumbs up. “And we’re going to make the most of those thirty-nine days, right?”
My throat feels hot when this sinks in. Listen to Pa’s advice. Manage your feelings, don’t let emotions overwhelm you.
“You’re sure you can’t stay longer?”
Pa moves to pat my wrist even if I can’t feel his touch. “We have to accept the things we can’t change, Superstar.”
I force a smile when Pa resumes singing along to my playlist. See what happens when I stay calm? Pa actually takes me seriously and gives me direct answers. So I focus on being in the moment and forgetting that Ma’s marrying someone else.
And that I only have thirty-nine days before I have to say bye to Pa again.