Chapter 24
It’s like everything else in the auditorium disappears.
The host announces onstage that it’s our band’s turn, and all I can think is: My mom is watching.
The feedback screeches through the room when Kayla holds on to the mic—and my mom is watching.
Seph plugs his guitar into the amp, the screen behind the stage shows live footage of him and Kayla onstage—still, my mom is watching.
My feet are glued to the floor when Seph and Kayla glance at me, lost at why I’m still stuck on the side of the stage and haven’t joined them. “Nika,” I hear Pa whisper. “Are you all right?”
The last time I froze this badly, I never even made it to the theater.
My hand goes to my chest, my pulse is ringing in my ears, my breaths keep getting heavier.
You’re Bad Luck Ilagan. No one can count on you. Why would they when you make everyone’s life harder?
Then Pa calls out to me again. He extends his hand and the throbbing in my brain slowly settles. I don’t know if it’s the work of some higher power or the fact that Kayla starts harmonizing in questionable keys, but I find the will to make my feet move to the front.
Then I’m there.
Sitting at the piano bench onstage.
With Ma watching.
Seph plays the opening notes, Kayla enters with the ad-libs, and this is supposed to be my cue. It’s like everything tightens, from my throat all the way to the tips of my fingers. The music keeps happening around me, and I sit there, doing absolutely nothing.
“Hey, hey.” Pa takes a seat beside me in front of the piano, blocking my view of the crowd. “Don’t mind them. It’s just the two of us.”
“I’m s-sorry.” My voice cracks at the thought of me falling apart in front of my dad.
Then my insides steady when I feel his grip on my wrist, right above my hair tie.
“I used to get so nervous before performing too, Superstar.”
My eyes widen at the implausible idea that Pa ever felt nervous.
“You know my trick?” he asks. “Other musicians, they get so distracted by looking at everything. But me? I only focus on the people I want to see.”
I hear Seph restart the song in the background and Pa’s hands fall on the piano, playing the opening notes for me.
When I slowly join him and my fingers start to find the keys, he lets go bit by bit until suddenly, I’m taking over.
As we reach the song’s bridge, I feel Pa bobbing his head and smiling right next to me.
I laugh when he even starts clapping along to one of the cheesiest songs in the world.
For a moment, I close my eyes, not wanting the outside world to ruin whatever’s happening.
My heart feels like it’s lodged in my throat when we get nearer to the final chorus. Seph sings the lyrics about being part of someone indefinitely and how time can’t erase something so strong between two people.
I hope Pa knows this is what I’ve been wanting to tell him for the past five years.
Pa reaches for me during the song’s last few lines and I brush the scar above his left eye. He leans closer and the mic catches Pa’s voice when he sings to me that I’ll always be his baby.
It’s only later on that I find out that my sister heard his voice too.