4
Cleo did not speak to Jamal the day before the flight.
She answered one text.
I love you. I still think you’re wrong.
He wrote back:
Both can be true.
She stared at the message.
That was one of Jamal’s gifts.
He could make disagreement sound civilized enough to survive.
Sometimes it should not.
The morning of the trip, he came to her apartment unannounced.
Denise had already left for work.
Cleo opened the door in a T-shirt and shorts.
Jamal carried breakfast.
“You bribing me?”
“Turkey egg-white sandwiches.”
“Healthy bribery is still bribery.”
He entered.
They sat at the small kitchen table where Jamal had studied countless nights.
He pushed one sandwich toward her.
“I leave in two hours.”
“I know.”
“I didn’t want to leave with you angry.”
“I’m not angry.”
“You stopped using punctuation in your texts.”
“That is serious.”
He smiled.
She did not.
Jamal reached across the table.
Cleo looked at his hand but did not take it.
“What would make you feel better?”
“You staying.”
“Besides that.”
“Nothing.”
“Cleo.”
“I’m not going to bless what I think is stupid.”
“I’m not asking for a blessing.”
“You came with breakfast and that face.”
“What face?”
“The valedictorian face.”
He laughed.
“I have a valedictorian face?”
“The one where you talk until people mistake understanding your decision for agreeing with it.”
Jamal leaned back.
“That sounds manipulative.”
“You don’t mean it that way.”
“Thank you.”
“That does not make it less true.”
He unwrapped his sandwich.
“I want to enjoy this.”
“I want to prevent the memorial version of you.”
The words silenced him.
Cleo immediately looked away.
Jamal stared.
“That is a terrible thing to say.”
“I know.”
“Then why say it?”
“Because you keep acting like danger has to make sense before it can reach you.”
He stood.
“I came to say goodbye.”
She stood too.
“That is the word bothering me.”
“People say goodbye every day.”
“You know what I mean.”
“No, I don’t.”
“Yes, you do.”
He moved closer.
“I am coming back Sunday.”
“You cannot promise what other people control.”
“I control myself.”
“You are not the only person there.”
Jamal touched her arms.
“Look at me.”
She did.
“I love you.”
“I love you too.”
“I don’t want Lauren.”
“I know.”
“I don’t envy Bart.”
“I know.”
“I’m not going there to embarrass anybody.”
“I know.”
“Then trust me.”
Cleo’s eyes filled.
“I trust the part of you standing in front of me. I do not trust the people who want to see what happens when nobody else is standing there.”
Jamal pulled her close.
She resisted briefly, then held him.
His heart beat steadily beneath her ear.
“I’ll call when I land,” he said.
“Call before everybody starts drinking.”
“I don’t drink.”
“They do.”
“I’ll keep my phone charged.”
“Do not leave it anywhere.”
“I won’t.”
“Do not go near the cliffs.”
He smiled into her hair.
“I’m serious.”
“I know.”
“Say it.”
“I won’t go near the cliffs.”
“Do not be alone with Lauren.”
“I’m never alone with Lauren.”
“Do not let Bart bait you.”
“I won’t.”
“If anything feels wrong, leave.”
“My father gave the same speech.”
“Your father is smart.”
“Not valedictorian smart.”
She pulled away and struck his arm.
He laughed.
That laugh would later return to her in dreams.
Not because it was the last time she heard it.
Because it was the last time she heard it in person.
At the door, Jamal kissed her forehead.
Cleo held his hand longer than necessary.
“Come home.”
“I will.”
“No. Say my whole name.”
He smiled.
“Cleopatra Brooks, I am coming home.”
She released him.
Jamal walked down the hallway.
At the stairwell, he turned.
Cleo stood in the doorway.
He lifted one hand.
She lifted hers.
The door closed.