Chapter 9 Goose
GOOSE
Do you have any idea how hard it is to sit two feet away from a beautiful woman who smelled like vanilla and honey and bad decisions and not put the moves on her? Because let me tell you, it’s a special kind of torture.
I couldn’t flirt with her.
I couldn’t touch her.
I couldn’t even look at her too long without feeling like I was betraying Davis, the clubhouse, and possibly the damn Constitution.
And before you say it, I know.
They broke up, or it looked like they broke up. It was hard to tell what was going on with them, but it was clearly heated. And Presley seemed pretty annoyed with my brother.
But it didn’t matter.
I wasn’t crossing that line. Period.
So, I kept my eyes on the road, my hands on the wheel, and my mouth shut—even when every fiber of my being was screaming for me to say something. And more than likely, it would be flirty and completely inappropriate, but it would make her smile instead of staring out that window like a wounded pup.
We were almost to her place when I finally risked a glance. It was quick, but it was clear from her expression that she was going through it. I couldn’t help myself. I had to ask, “Are you okay?”
She didn’t look at me right away. She just exhaled and gave the base of her scalp a slight scratch. “I’m fine. Just annoyed with myself.”
“For what?”
“For getting involved with Davis. I knew better.”
“You two really done or is this one of those ‘we’re just mad and will work through it’ kind of done?”
“Oh, no. We are done-done.”
Hearing her say that shouldn’t have made my chest tighten, but it did. I nodded, slow and easy, like I was being supportive and understanding. But in reality, I was sighing with relief. “Sounds like a final answer.”
“It shouldn’t have gone as far as it did.”
“Understood.”
I turned my attention back to the road, and while I had a hundred things I could’ve said, I remained silent. In fact, I didn’t say another word until we pulled up to her place and were standing at her front door.
The porch light illuminated her beautiful face, and when she looked up at me with those big, soulful eyes, it nearly knocked me off my feet.
She studied me for a moment.
And I mean studied, like she was trying to find the right words to say, weighing the consequences, and testing the air to see if it’s safe to say whatever’s on her mind. For a half second, I thought she was actually going to say it.
But then, she sighed and said, “Thanks for driving me home.”
“No problem.” I handed her the keys to her car, and as she took them from my hand, I told her, “If you ever need anything, you know where to reach me.”
“Thanks.” She hesitated, then asked, “Wait? How are you getting home?”
I motioned my head toward the street, and her worried expression softened when she spotted the black truck idling at the end of the drive. “I got a ride.”
“Okay, good. Hope you have a good one, and thanks again!”
“You too, Presley.”
Without saying anything more, I turned and started down the walk. I hadn’t gotten far when she muttered, “He’s not who you think he is.”
I stopped and turned around just in time to see her close the door, leaving me wondering if she’d really said anything or if my mind was just playing tricks on me. I shook it off and continued out to the truck. My eyes were still trained on the house when Rusty asked, “You good?”
I didn’t answer. I just gave him a simple nod. He gave me a moment, then asked, “Ready to head back?”
Again, I just nodded.
Without further questioning, he eased off the curb and drove out of the subdivision. After some time had passed, Rusty turned to me and asked, “So, am I mistaken, or was that Davis’s girlfriend?”
“Was is the operative word.”
“Oh?”
“It’s done.” I shot him a quick glance. “She ended things.”
That earned me a look. “You happy about that?”
“Now, why would I be happy about that?”
“She seemed pretty friendly with you tonight, and you with her.”
“I was just making sure she was okay.”
“I see. I guess I got it wrong.”
“I guess you did.”
Rusty nodded once, like that was all the answer he needed, and the conversation was done. He turned his attention back to the road and said nothing more. As soon as we pulled up to the clubhouse, we both got out, and Rusty started toward the back door.
“You coming?”
“Nah. I think I’m gonna call it.”
“Suit yourself.”
He opened the door, and the sound of music and laughter spilled out. I walked over to my bike, swung my leg over the seat, and once I slipped on my helmet, I fired up the engine and was on my way.
The cold air whipping around me did little to drown out my thoughts, but once I was home, I downed a half pint of tequila and slept like a baby. The next morning, I woke up early. Too early. It was that time of the morning when your mind starts to wander to places it has no business wandering.
Mine went straight to you know who.
I know. I had to let it go, but just thinking about her standing outside, looking up at the snow falling, got me right in the gut. I couldn’t deny it. There was something about this chick that I’d never been able to shake.
Yeah, there was no point in pretending.
It was a problem, and I didn’t have time for problems, especially ones like her. With that in mind, I got up, took a quick shower, and after I threw on some clothes, I headed out.
When I pulled up to the casino, I glanced down at my dash and groaned when I saw the time. Not only was it too damn early, but I wasn’t even on the schedule to work.
But that didn’t stop me from rolling into the place like it was top of the hour. I’d barely made it through the front door when Nikolai called out, “Goose!”
I glanced to my left and found him sitting at the bar with his jacket slung over his shoulder, and his hair was a disheveled mess.
He looked way too relaxed for a man who clearly hadn’t slept.
I walked over, and as I sat down next to him, I motioned to his glass of bourbon. “You realize it’s not even seven yet?”
He grinned as he lifted his glass and announced, “This is my last one. I swear.”
I didn’t believe him for a second.
He might’ve looked tired, but there was a spark in his eye—a spark I knew all too well. Nikolai was the youngest of the three Volkov brothers and by far the coolest. And if you’re into that kind of thing, he was alright looking.
He had more tats than most of the brothers, and they weren’t the sloppy, just for-the-sake-of-ink kind of tats. His were upscale with intricate details, and each one had lines of intention. They weren’t just to look cool. They meant something.
Nikolai was one of those guys who was into art and shit, but not in a weird-girly way. It was actually kind of cool. He picked up on things that most of us would never notice, and that was one of the things I liked most about him. He just got things, except for women.
Like me, he was struggling there, and lately, it seemed to be getting to him more than usual. “Late night or early morning?”
“Both.” He took a slow sip of his drink before adding, “And I gotta tell ya, I’m about to throw in the towel.”
“This have something to do with a woman?”
“Not just a woman. All women.” He shook his head and grumbled, “They’re just so damn complicated.”
“That they are.”
“You ever notice how the complication is rarely the woman herself, but everything around her.” He lifted his glass and finished off the last of his drink. “Family. Work. Exes. Cats.”
“Cats?”
“I’m allergic as fuck.”
“Yeah, that would suck.”
“Oh, you have no idea. I was really into her, too. I just couldn’t deal with all the sneezing and eye-watering, and the cat was a real asshole.”
“You couldn’t convince her to ditch the cat?”
“Fuck no. That damn cat was her spirit animal or something. No way in hell she was gonna cut him loose.”
“That’s rough, but a cat’s better than another guy. Nothing worse than some asshole getting between you and your girl.”
“That’s what I’m dealing with right now. Or more like I was dealing with.”
“Ah, man. So, it’s done?”
“Pretty much.” He ran his hand across the back of his neck and grumbled, “This girl was really something. Beautiful. Smart. A real go-getter. I thought there might be something there, but she couldn’t seem to let go of her ex.”
“He a hockey fan?”
“Not that I know of. Why?”
“Nothing,” I chuckled, remembering Presley’s story about her boy, Gary. “Just thinking out loud.”
“I honestly don’t know much about the guy, other than the fact that he’s got a hold on the girl who’s got a hold on me.”
“She gonna be someone you can shake or is she worth winning over?”
“Not fighting for someone who doesn’t want to be fought for.”
“Can’t blame you there.”
We sat there a moment longer, and when more folks started rolling in, Nikolai stood and asked, “You going to be around later?”
“Unless something comes up.”
“Well, then. I’ll see ya when I see ya.”
He gave me a quick nod, then started for the door.
Nikolai had barely cleared the doors before I was up and settling into the rhythm of the morning. The casino was still half-asleep. Lights were humming low, slots were chiming, and the cleaning crew was finally wrapping up.
The early crowds were always the same. Some were regulars who treated the place like church, and the stubborn ones who swore today was the day they’d win back what the lost the day before.
Mostly, they just fed the machines a little more and told themselves whatever lie they needed to hear to keep playing.
I moved slow, taking it all in as I moved across the floor, making sure all was well. I stopped near the slots and smiled when I spotted Earl, one of the few regulars I actually enjoyed talking to.
He was an old timer with white hair, a handlebar mustache, and nicotine-stained fingers. He always smelled like a mix of peppermint and Old Spice, and he was always smiling, even when he was on a losing streak.
When I walked up, he leaned back in his chair and said, “Morning, Goose.”
“Morning.” I motioned my head toward his machine. “How’s she treatin’ ya?”
“She’s as cold as a witch’s titty right now, but I’ll have her warming up to me in no time.”
“Go easy now. You don’t wanna break the bank.”
“Ah, that’s quitter talk.”
“We can’t be having that.” I chuckled as I told him, “Hope she warms up to you soon.”
“You and me both.” His expression softened. “Did I hear that your brother was back around?”
“Yes, sir. He’s been staying at the clubhouse.”
“That’s good. That’s real good.” He gave me a nod. “Brothers need one another.”
“Yes, sir. They do.”
“Well, I hope he sticks around this time.”
“You and me both.” I gave his shoulder a soft pat and said, “Hang in there, and let me know if you need anything.”
“Will do.”
I’d just stepped away and had started toward the back when the front doors swung up.
I glanced over and spotted Skid walking in with Laken and her daughter, Baylor, who might’ve been one of the cutest damn kids I’d ever seen.
I mean, Luna, Grim’s new sidekick, was damn cute, too, but Bay had these big, curious eyes and a smile that was like a sucker punch to the gut.
And she looked at Skid like he hung the fucking moon.
I stopped and watched as Skid walked Laken over to her table and helped her get situated. Once she was all set, he leaned in and kissed her on the cheek, and Laken beamed up at him and smiled. It was a real smile. Not the kind you could fake.
Skid smiled back and said something before reaching down for Baylor. She settled on his hip like she belonged there, then waved at her mother as he carried her toward the back to the staff daycare. I stood there watching them whisper back and forth, and it hit me in a way I didn’t expect.
Skid was a good bit younger than me, and up until a few weeks ago, he had no plans past his next drink or next ride.
He had club responsibilities, but other than that, he was a free man with zero responsibilities.
Now, he had a woman at his side and a kid who trusted him enough to leap into his arms.
He had a family. A real family that was just his own.
I had nothing close to that, and I might’ve felt a little pang of jealousy.
Yeah, it surprised the hell out of me, too.
I didn’t like it. I should’ve been happy for Skid. He deserved to be happy, but it seemed like another reminder of what I didn’t have and possibly never would.
Damn. My long night was about to turn into an even longer day.