19. Kaitlyn
19
KAITLYN
T hree days after James bested his previous record by giving me the new best sex of my life, I yanked on my clothes and got ready to face the day. Early morning run completed, shower done, and now it was time to get ready for the main event with Harper.
I was so wrapped up thinking about what we had planned for the day I didn’t even notice the massive flower arrangement that had magically appeared on the nightstand in my bedroom until I was right in front of it.
James .
We’d only been able to steal kisses since we got back from Chicago, but he was making his feelings known in other ways. The lingering glances, the private jokes…we couldn’t act on the passion we had for each other, but we still managed to connect in other ways. As much as we wanted to spend the night together there was always the risk that Harper would revert back to her old ways and climb into her father’s bed in the middle of the night. I’d successfully reintroduced her to her own bed, but on days when I pushed her, she seemed to wind up with him.
I grinned at the bouquet. There was no card, but I didn’t need one. Like everything James touched, the arrangement was gorgeous and extravagant, with fat pink roses surrounded by greenery and loopy fronds from a plant I’d never seen before. I stopped counting roses after I got to twenty.
I braided my hair, breathed in the roses one last time, and headed toward the door. I was halfway out when I stopped and backtracked to the arrangement. Harper loved flowers, too, so I plucked one out and headed downstairs to where James and Harper were having breakfast.
“Kaitlyn!” Harper crowed when she saw me. “I tried eggs Benedict, and I hated it!”
I stifled a laugh as James turned to his daughter with a sour expression. “Harper, excuse me? Could you try that again please?”
The little girl giggled and bowed her head. “I tried eggs Benedict, and…and…it wasn’t my favorite.”
“Better,” I said, taking my usual chair next to her. “This is for you.” I placed the rose next to her fork.
“Pretty!” she exclaimed.
James and I exchanged a knowing glance and I mouthed “thank you” to him.
“Perfect timing,” James said, standing up from the table. “I’m heading into the city for the rest of the day, and I need to leave now or I’ll be late. But I wanted to check in with you first. What’s on tap for today?”
“Morning lessons then we’re going to try something different. I’ll text you when I know more.”
We exchanged another look, this time shorthand about the fact that I was going to push Harper a little more than usual.
James leaned down and kissed the top of Harper’s head. “Love you, kid.”
His eyes flicked to me as he left the room.
Three hours and many exercises later, I was ready to broach the big adventure with Harper. We were taking a break in the skybrary, laughing at the pictures in one of her books.
“Harper, you like swinging, right?”
She nodded her head eagerly.
“Me too. I thought we could take a little walk to the park and do some swinging today. It’s very close. What do you think?”
She pursed her lips and considered it. “How close?”
“Super close. I walked there myself and it took me about four minutes.” I neglected to add that I hadn’t included the driveway into the calculation, so it was probably closer to eight minutes. But we’d been walking up and down the driveway frequently, so I didn’t think it would matter to her.
“Is it just swings?”
I loved that she wasn’t shutting me down immediately. “Nope. There’s a slide and monkey bars too. Oh, and a climbing wall.”
“What’s a climbing wall?” Her eyes went wide.
“It’s this cool structure that has little ledges and grabby things and you use them to pull yourself up the wall. It’s not easy, not everyone can do it.” I was baiting her, since she loved to consider herself the best at everything.
“I bet I could.” Harper jutted out her chin.
“Okay, let’s see then. Want to go now? Then we can come back and have lunch.”
She hesitated, looking nervous, then said, “Can Miguel come with us? Just in case?”
I’d hoped that Harper would trust me enough to make the trip with just the two of us, but I was willing to do whatever it took to help her get off the property for the first time.
“We can walk down the driveway and ask him. And when we get to the park we can Facetime your dad and show him how high you can swing!”
“No!” Harper shot back, and my stomach dropped. “I want to show him how I can climb the wall thing.”
I beamed at her. “Deal, young lady. Let’s go!”
I shot a quick text to James to let him know what we were attempting. I wasn’t sure if we’d make it all the way there, but I wanted him to be available for a celebratory call if we did.
The driveway was no longer a big deal for Harper, but I watched her carefully as we walked down it. The addition of something new tacked onto a behavior she was just becoming comfortable with was a push, but the clock was ticking. School was on the horizon, and I wanted to make sure I did as much as I could to get her ready.
We reached the end of the driveway without incident to find Miguel waving at us from the guard booth. I’d filled him in on how important it was to recognize Harper’s progress. After the initial wariness he’d shown on my arrival, I’d been happy to discover that Miguel was a big softie at heart, especially when it came to Harper.
“Hola, muchachita !” he called to her. “Are you on an adventure?”
She nodded proudly. “ Hola Miguel! I’m going to the climbing place. Do you want to come too?”
He shot me a questioning look.
“Harper and I are going to the playground, and she thought you might like to tag along.” I tipped my head at him to imply the subtext of her request.
“Ah, okay,” he nodded agreeably. “Let me get Frank up here to the booth and I’ll step away with you.”
“Will you climb too?” Harper asked him excitedly.
“No, Miguel is too gordo for that!” He laughed as he patted his stomach. “But I’ll watch.”
We set off with Miguel a few paces behind us, so I could concentrate on helping Harper stay focused. We worked through her breathing exercises as we crossed the end of the driveway out to the street, and I was thrilled to see that she didn’t really even need them.
We chatted about the various flowers we saw and stopped to pet a small white dog walked by a woman in a broad pink hat. There were tons of distractions along the way that prevented Harper from thinking too much about how the safety net of home was fading in the distance behind her.
She reached out to hold my hand, and I gave hers an encouraging squeeze. “Almost there. Can you see it?”
She craned her neck. “Yes! I see it!”
I felt her start to pull away, and even though I was thrilled about her excitement, we still had to be safe. “Harp, hold on, we need to cross the street together.”
Once we got to the park, Miguel moved slightly away from us and took up a sentry stance. I realized that the climbing wall was meant for slightly older children, making me start to second-guess whether Harper would want to try it. But the moment she figured out what it was, she ran to it.
“Can I?”
“I want you to tell me if you can,” I said, glancing between her and the wall. “It’s your decision.”
Harper studied it. She reached out to touch a few of the brightly colored grab handles then squinted up at me. “Yeah, I can.”
I had to fight back tears at how far the little girl had come. The Harper from weeks ago was fading into the past while the true Harper was making herself known again. A brave, creative, funny, and confident little warrior.
“Do you want me to call your dad first?” I asked.
She shook her head, her blonde ponytail swinging. “Not yet. Do it when I’m at the top so he can see how strong I am.”
“You got it. Whenever you’re ready.”
Miguel moved a little closer as Harper placed her fingertips on the handles. As much as I wanted to coach her, I let her puzzle out the best route on her own. Sure enough, she was more than up to the challenge. Within seconds, she was skittering up the wall like a spider.
“Are you okay?” I asked as she hit the midpoint.
“Yup!” she answered as she plotted her next move.
I moved closer to the wall just in case she lost her grip, and Miguel took up a similar position. The ground beneath it was cushy, but I would rather catch her in my arms than let her drop to the ground. I pulled out my phone as she got closer to the top.
“I’m calling your dad now, okay?”
“Okay! He’s gonna be so proud!”
He wasn’t the only one.
“Everything okay?” James picked up on the first ring. “What’s going on with you two?”
“Your daughter is doing something incredible I want you to see.” I flipped the camera around right as Harper reached the top and swung her leg over to the platform on the back side of the wall.
“Harper! You did that all by yourself?” James asked.
Harper leaned over the edge of the wall and gave a sassy wave. “Look at me, so high up,” she sang.
“I can’t believe it, sweetheart!” James said. “You’re amazing!”
I could hear the awe in his voice.
“We’re having a great time. She wanted to try the wall first, and next, we’re probably going to swing for a bit.”
“That sounds great, I wish I could be with you.”
I turned the camera around so he could see my face. “We do too.”
James moved closer to his phone. “Wow,” he whispered.
“Yup. I’m in awe of that little girl.”
“Kaitlyn, look at me!” Harper’s voice called out.
I looked up from the phone just in time to see her grab onto a pole and slide down it.
“Wow, you’re trying everything! That’s great!”
“Swing now,” she said, running toward us.
“Please,” I corrected.
“Please,” she yelled over her shoulder.
I followed behind her as James chuckled. “She’s something.”
“Yes, she is. I’ll keep you posted if anything comes up on our way home, but we have Miguel with us, and I think we should be fine.”
“Okay, sounds good.” James paused. “Hey, Kaitlyn?”
I gave him my full attention while Harper tried to decide which swing she wanted. “Yeah?”
“Thank you. For this. For everything .”
Our eyes met, and we both knew exactly what he meant in those three simple sentences.
“Kaitlyn, please push me,” Harper shouted from the swing, kicking her little legs to no avail.
“Sounds like you’ve got to run,” he laughed.
“Duty calls, I’ll text you later.”
After a shockingly long time swinging, Harper and I agreed that we needed to head back when we spotted Miguel covering one too many yawns. She reached out to hold my hand and looked up at me with her eyes shining.
“I had the best time! Can we do this again?”
“I had fun too!” I agreed. “We can do this every single day if you want. And maybe some other time, we could try going to the beach.” I saw a hint of cloudiness in her expression, so I pressed on. “But only if you want.”
Harper considered it. “Maybe, if Daddy can come too.”
She sang to herself as we made our way back home, and my heart filled with love for the special little girl. She was conquering her demons one by one, and it was a joy watching her learn to be a happy child without a care in the world once again. When we got back to the house, we waved goodbye to Miguel, and she jumped up the front steps one by one before turning to me with her arms outstretched.
“Hug me!” she demanded, and it was one order I obeyed without requiring a “please.”
As we embraced, I realized that I loved her. I tried not to think about the end of my tenure with the Morris family, instead choosing to focus on the amazing here and now.
“Why don’t we go out on the patio and have sneaky popsicles before dinner. Sound good?”
She nodded, then stuck her tongue out and panted like a puppy and ran toward the kitchen. I pulled out my phone as I followed, still buzzy from our success. I couldn’t have been prouder of Harper if I’d been her own mother. And that thought made me think of my own mom. Had she ever felt this way about Cassie and me, back when we were small? Maybe there had been a time when things were good, before Dad left. I couldn’t remember, but maybe she did. I found myself wanting to ask. If this reconciliation could work, if we could find our way back to being a family, maybe we’d be able to talk about those memories someday. Just the thought made me feel warm.
I shut out Cassie’s angry voice in my head as I texted my mom. She’d have to forgive me once she started feeling the happy family vibes. I was convinced it was possible for us.
Hi Mom , I wrote. So you know that Cassie’s wedding is coming up?
As I’d promised Cassie, I hadn’t mentioned it to our mom, but she had actually brought it up to me, telling me that she’d seen the announcement in the paper.
The response came seconds later. Yes! So exciting!
I forced myself to keep going even though I had a feeling Cassie wasn’t going to be pleased with me. At least not at first.
I wanted to ask you a question. Will you be my date to the wedding?
Sweetheart, YES! Of course, I’d love to! Send me all the details.
I dashed off a text with the date and location and tried to ignore the nagging feelings of worry in the back of my mind.