22. Kaitlyn
22
KAITLYN
I tried to focus on the steady rhythm of my feet hitting the ground. It was late afternoon and hot as hell despite the shaded path, but I needed to get away from the house.
Away from James .
The blow-up at his sister revealed a side of him I’d never seen, even though I’d heard about it, and I didn’t like it one bit. The James I knew stayed calm and collected no matter how upset he felt. The James I’d just witnessed was angry, and he showed it. Sure, Jess had made mistakes in the past, and James was right that he needed to watch out for the family reputation, but I knew she was serious about launching her business. And since I’d worn one of Henri’s dresses in Key West, I knew firsthand that he created magic. The fabric was sumptuous, and the dress fit me like it had been made for me even though it was Jess’s and we were different sizes. The whole thing was a feat of engineering masquerading as high fashion. I believed in what she was doing.
I could feel the furrow between my brows etching in as I thought about what had gone down back at the house. I tried to concentrate on my workout, but my focus was shot. At least I didn’t have to think about my route. I couldn’t deny it, I felt at home in the neighborhood, as if I actually belonged here despite the way James was acting at the moment. I sped up at the thought of it but immediately tried to pace myself. It was too hot for sprinting.
My phone buzzed, and I welcomed the forced break. It was Cassie, probably calling me with the latest wedding gossip.
“Hey,” I said brightly, trying not to pant.
“Two things real quick. First, I’m about to send you a picture of the final table arrangement, and I want you to tell me that it’s perfect no matter what you really think, and second, we have your last fitting coming up, and I want to confirm it’s on your calendar.”
“Cass,” I laughed as I slowed down even more. “You’ve texted it to me twice and it’s on our shared Google calendar. How could I forget?”
“Okay, okay, just making sure! It’s getting close, and I’m starting to freak out a little, you know?”
“I get it,” I said in a comforting voice.
“Okay, enough about me. How are things with you and Daddy Warbucks?”
“Stop,” I groaned. I contemplated telling her the weirdness that had just happened, but I wasn’t about to add any stress to her life. “Everything is fine, and Harper is making incredible progress.”
“Of course she is, she’s got you leading the way,” Cassie replied.
“Oh, go on,” I joked.
“I’m serious! They don’t know how lucky they are to have you.”
I thought about how grumpy James could get and hoped he actually did realize it. To be sure, he was always quick to praise all the progress Harper and I had made, showing full support for every plan I had put into place. But when the dark side came out, like the way he yelled at his sister? It was like he turned into a different person. I wasn’t sure I could trust that person. Sure, he was happy with Harper’s progress now. But what if she had a setback? Would he turn on me like he’d turned on Jess?
“Are you in a good place, wedding-wise?” I asked, eager to change the subject.
“Other than stressing out about every single thing, yeah, I’m great. We’re still arguing about the cake flavor, Hope’s dress went missing, I can’t think of anything grandparent-appropriate to say in my vows, and the tablecloths are the wrong shade of cream. Good times.”
“Yikes, that is stressful. Anything I can do to help?” I was walking now, happy to have an excuse to stop pushing myself.
“Can you hire a private investigator to find Hope’s dress? And then write something that’ll make everyone cry when I say my vows?”
The thought of crafting an ode to love sent a shiver through me. What did I know about real relationships?
“Sorry, can’t help with either of those, but I can definitely be the tie-breaker on your cake. Let me at that snooty planner, and I’ll tell her where she can put that pineapple upside-down cake!”
Cassie giggled. “Ooh, I’d pay to see that go down. Seriously, though, I’m feeling pretty overwhelmed. It’s just a lot right now, you know? I’m excited to marry Scott, but all of the surrounding BS is getting to be too much. I’m bickering with his mom about the seating plan and she won’t back down. I mean, I love her, she’s amazing, but the woman has opinions .”
“To be fair, so do you,” I pointed out. “Maybe you should count yourself lucky that Scott was raised by a strong woman—otherwise, he’d be totally baffled by you, don’t you think?”
Cassie laughed. “Okay, fair point. Maybe I should thank my future mother-in-law. But really, I shouldn’t complain about her at all. She’s a handful, but I’d take her over our mom any day of the week, that’s for sure.”
I’d been trying to find the right time to bring up the fact that I’d invited our mom to be my plus-one at her wedding, and this clearly wasn't the moment. But I was excited for Cassie to get to know our new and improved mom.
“Hey, everything is going to be fine,” I said in my most reassuring voice, half for her and half for me to try to convince myself that I hadn’t made the wrong decision. God, I hoped Cassie would understand what I was trying to do. It was going to be bumpy at first, but I was convinced she’d eventually be won over.
“If you say so,” she muttered.
I turned when I sensed someone coming up the deserted path and was surprised and not at all surprised to see Lou jogging my way. My running schedule had been erratic, but somehow he always managed to bump into me. I wasn’t sure how to feel about it. He smiled and waved when he saw me.
“Hey, Cassie, I need to go,” I said, waving back at him. “We’ll catch up soon. Good luck with everything, it’s going to work out.”
“Okay, love you!”
She hung up before I could say it back.
“There she is!” Lou said, slowing to a walk beside me. “Looks like you’re cooling down, mind if I join you?”
I shrugged as he fell in step beside me. “Sure.”
“You okay?” he asked, studying me. “You seem upset.”
“I’m fine,” I lied, then checked myself on it. The truth was I wanted to talk about what was going on with James, and it wasn’t like my sister had the bandwidth to hear about it. Lou had been a great ear so far, so maybe I could find a way to discuss it without implicating James? I obviously couldn’t get into specifics with Lou, but I could dance around the topic without betraying any confidences. “Actually, I have a…philosophical question for you.”
He raised an eyebrow at me. “Okay, let’s hear it.”
“Do you think there’s a difference between keeping a confidence and lying?”
“Yeah, I think there’s a huge difference,” he said, staring off into the distance. “Keeping a confidence is something you do for a friend, like let’s say a buddy is having an affair. I’m aware of it, but it’s none of my business, you know? I’m not going to run out and tell his wife. But if his wife asks me about it point blank and I deny it? Well, that’s lying. See the difference?”
He was so caught up in his imaginary cheating friend’s double life that he didn’t notice my glaring side-eye. I had a feeling the scenario he described was something he’d dealt with in real life, maybe more than once.
“Yeah, I see the difference,” I said. “Do you think both are okay?”
“Well, I certainly don’t see anything wrong with keeping a confidence. Especially if everyone else is happier not knowing. As for lying… I guess it depends on the circumstances. Some lies are harmless enough, don’t you think?”
I didn’t agree at all, but I nodded just to be polite as I thought about the Jess loan situation and my part in what had gone down between her and James. I was a facilitator for sure, the bridge between the loan and her dream. Should I have said something to James about it? Had I let him down by keeping it to myself?
“What’s going on for real?” Lou asked, his handsome brow furrowed with concern. “Are you in trouble? Is there anything I can do to help you?”
It was kind of him to offer, and based on his worried expression, he was genuinely interested in supporting me.
“No, not at all, I’m fine,” I replied, shaking my head. “I’ve just been thinking of…hypothetical scenarios, you know?”
“Uh-huh,” he replied, clearly skeptical. “You know I’m here if you ever want to talk. I’m a great listener. And trust me, I know your boss can be a handful, so you probably need to vent about sins of omission, lies, and keeping confidences.” He gave me a knowing look that left me feeling more confused than anything. Why did he assume James was the one who had lied?
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
As much as I enjoyed talking to Lou, there was no way I felt okay saying anything about James, Harper, or even Jess. In fact, I felt strange even alluding to what was going on in the Morris household, no matter how badly I wanted an unbiased listening ear to help me work through my thoughts.
We came to the split in the trail where Lou always turned off, and he stopped so he was blocking my path. It was his power move. “Hey, remember that sometimes people aren’t ready to have the truth thrust upon them. Sometimes it has to be more subtle, and if that means having to tell a white lie or not saying something, then so be it.”
I nodded. “Yeah, maybe you’re right.”
Lou laughed. “You’ll soon learn that I’m always right.”
I managed a smile even though I didn’t find it funny. “How lucky I am to have a friend with all the answers. But hey, where were you when I was buying a lottery ticket?”
He smiled widely. “Is that your way of saying you want to spend more time with me? Because that could definitely be arranged.” He crossed his arms and raked his eyes down my body.
I froze, taken aback. Cassie always joked that I wouldn’t know a come-on if it walked up to me and introduced itself, but this was too blatant for even me to ignore. I had thought that Lou and I were both good with just being friends, but this was definitely sounding like he was interested in something more.
The thought…didn’t appeal. Yeah, Lou was good looking and charming, but I just didn’t think of him that way. And I didn’t particularly want to try.
“Oh, um…” I said awkwardly, “I’m sure you’ve got plenty on your plate already. And so do I, for that matter.” Such as a particular blue-eyed billionaire who can make me come harder than I ever have in my life in five minutes or less.
Despite the new tension in our relationship, I couldn’t really imagine wanting to be with anyone but James.
His face fell almost imperceptibly, and a look of irritation replaced his usual smile for a moment. But then he rearranged his features back to the affable guy I’d been running with. “Fine, I can take a hint. But let me know if you change your mind.”
“Yeah, will do,” I said, trying not to wince at how strained and stilted I sounded. “But hey, speaking of stuff on my plate, I really need to go. I’ll see you later.”
I gave him a little wave then jogged off to the point where he could no longer see me then slowed down again. Why was I feeling so strange about Lou acting like he was on the verge of asking me out? It wasn’t like James and I had anything real happening between us. When we’d first met, I’d agreed to a no-strings arrangement, and we’ve never discussed taking it further. Then there was the blow-up with his sister, which certainly showed me another side of him.
Despite all of that, there was something about James Morris that had me hooked, and nobody else could compare.