31. Kaitlyn
31
KAITLYN
I thought I’d run out of tears, but the sun was setting, and I kept finding new reasons to cry.
I was still in shock about what had happened. The way things ended. Miguel had been an angel as I quickly packed my things and left the Morris property. Of course his loyalties were with James, but the hug he gave me before I got into my car spoke volumes.
After I left, I’d driven off the island and then pulled over into the first parking lot I found so I could take a minute to just… process what had happened. And cry some more. Because I couldn’t figure out why James would believe I’d betray him. The evidence definitely made me look bad because yes, the quote in the article was directly from my text, but I would never let anyone see our personal communications. It was a breach of ethics, trust, and everything I stood for.
But he clearly didn’t believe me.
I couldn’t go home to my apartment. Adam would probably agree to break our sub-lease agreement if I explained, but I just didn’t have the energy for it, so instead, I’d finally found a motel, the crappy kind with a tiny pool by the parking lot. It was a depressing adjustment from what I’d just left—but that was fine. “Depressing” fit my mood to a tee. I had to take some time to figure out my next move, and being trapped in a hellhole of a motel seemed to be appropriate.
I needed to talk to someone. My go-to was always Cassie, but that option was out. Then it hit me: I could call my mom, like any other normal person in need of advice and comfort. The post-rehab version of her was finally equipped to say all the right things, to give the comfort I’d craved from my mom all my life. We’d already Facetimed a few times, so I dialed her before I could think twice about it.
As my camera turned on, I saw how awful I looked. Puffy eyes, blotchy cheeks. I was a mess.
“Hey sweetheart,” my mom sang as the call connected. Her camera flicked on, and she went from smiling broadly to frowning with concern. “Oh no, what’s wrong? You look like you’ve been crying!”
I sniffled, trying to hold it together. “James… James fired me. He threw me out.”
Just saying the words made me dissolve into tears again.
“Oh, oh, sweetheart,” my mom cooed. “Don’t cry! I wish I could be there to hug you.”
I managed to pull myself together. “Thanks.”
“Now tell me exactly what happened, and we’ll figure out how to fix it, okay?”
“I wish it were that easy.” I rubbed my hands on my face and swiped the tears away. “I don’t think fixing it is possible.”
“Explain what you did,” Mom said in a gentle voice, which took some of the sting from her words. “Tell me everything.”
“That’s just it. I didn’t do anything.”
I launched into the painful story, trying not to break down each time I thought about how angry James looked and how I’d been unable to say goodbye to Harper.
“And you didn’t sell the information?” my mom asked, looking shockingly dubious.
“No! I would never!”
“Okay, good, good. So what if you track down the person who wrote the article and find out who the source actually was? Then you can tell James, and everything will go back to how it was before.”
“It’s not that easy, Mom. And I’m sure the writer won’t reveal their source.”
“Well, you have to do something , Kaitlyn,” she said in an accusing voice. “You need to figure out a way to get through to James.”
“He won’t listen. And you know what? That in itself shows things weren’t as great between us as I’d thought. I mean, when you’re in a relationship you need to hear each other, and work through rough patches. He barely even let me talk after he accused me. And the fact that he doesn’t believe me hurts, you know? It’s like he didn’t know me at all.”
“Well, who’s fault is that?”
“Wait…hold on…are you siding with James ?” I asked, bewildered, certain I’d misunderstood.
“I can see his perspective is all I’m saying. He’s protecting his lifestyle. His investments. If he thinks he can’t trust you, then I have to think you might be to blame for that. Which is why you need to work hard to prove to him it wasn’t you. You need to win him back, Kaitlyn.”
I tried to spin what she was saying, but there was no way I could make it make sense. “Mom, first of all, he was protecting his daughter , not his investments, and second…there is no winning him back. We’re done.”
My mom went silent, and the kindly expression slipped from her face, replaced by the hard, narrowed eyes and downturned mouth that looked disturbingly familiar. This was my mother as I remembered her. Not the new, improved version but the original edition. “Well, you fucked up, girlie. Big time.”
“ What ?”
“You just threw out a lifetime of security,” she sneered at me through the screen. “Now who’s going to protect us?”
“Did you just say ‘us’?” I asked. I was still confused about what was happening…but I could feel my stomach sink as the pieces started to come together.
“Of course I did. Who the hell is going to want a washed-up barfly like me? You were our ticket to first class. And you were so close! I could almost taste the champagne. But you had to go and ruin everything.”
The more she said, the more I felt like I had to throw up.
“I’ve got bills, Kaitlyn!” she went on. “And there are things I want to do, like go to Vegas. How am I supposed to make that happen when?—”
I pushed the “end call” button, feeling numb.
How could I have been so stupid? So blind? I’d wanted so badly to believe that my mom could change and that we could find our way to a real relationship, but I’d ignored the warning signs. Why had she only reached out to me and not to Cassie? Why did she always want to talk about James and the money he spent on me? The more I thought about it, the more I recognized dozens of red flags that I should have noticed all along. I waited for the wave of pain to pull me under but instead, I only felt…angry. And determined.
Determined to connect with the only person I could truly trust to have my back no matter what.
It was a risky move, but my life was currently a dumpster fire, so how much worse could it get?
I arranged the bouquet of sunflowers and pink box of cupcakes in my arms before knocking on Cassie’s door. This had the potential to go horribly wrong, but I wasn’t going to leave without begging my sister for forgiveness.
I heard her shuffle to the door and pause to look out the peephole. It seemed like an eternity passed before she finally opened the door.
“Well, this is a surprise,” she said in a flat voice, looking me up and down. Her hair was up in a ponytail, and she was wearing a blue striped apron. I knew what that meant. My sister was stress baking.
“Hi, Cassie. These are for you.” I handed over the flowers and box in quick succession, and she sputtered trying to hold it all. “Can I come in for a sec? There are a few things I have to tell you.”
She sighed. “Fine. Come in.”
I followed behind her, past the wrapped gifts that had multiplied since the last time I’d been over. It was another reminder of how close we were to the wedding day.
“I was just making stress brownies. Not like I need them now.” She held up the box of cupcakes.
“Can I help you make them?” I crossed my fingers.
“No.” She waited a beat. “But you can sit at the counter and watch me.”
Progress.
Cassie walked back into her tiny kitchen and went to the bowl on her counter next to cracked eggshells. “Care for some salmonella?” She grabbed a spoon from a drawer, dipped it in the brownie mixture, and handed it across the counter to me as I settled on a stool. “Come to think of it, you sort of deserve it.”
Despite the snide comments, I could tell she was softening toward me. If Cassie was still as angry as she’d been before, she wouldn’t have let me in the door.
“Thanks.” I licked the spoon clean. “Before I say anything else, I want you to know how sorry I am for inviting mom to the wedding. That was wrong. I should’ve talked to you first.”
She gave me a terse nod as she stirred the bowl but didn’t look up at me.
“And you were right about everything.”
Cassie finally met my eyes. “What did she do to you?” It came out in a hiss.
“I found out that the only reason she reached out…” I felt uncomfortable admitting it out loud. I cleared my throat. “She was after James’s money.”
Cassie’s eyes narrowed and for a second she looked too much like our mother. “No.”
I nodded. “She came right out and admitted it. It was disgusting.”
“I hate to say I told you so…” Cassie shook her head.
“I know, I know. But I was hoping she really was different. I just had this vision of us being a real family. A normal family, you know? I hoped we could celebrate your big day together. I can’t believe she had me convinced she’d changed.”
“The woman knows how to run a con,” Cassie said, frowning. “Even on her own daughters. Well, one of them at least.” She shot me a look. “I hope you let James know he needs to watch out for her. Because I could see her getting desperate and showing up at his front gate, claiming you invited her.”
And now it was time for the other difficult part of my visit. I’d managed to bottle up my sadness about James to focus on Cassie, but now I had to tell her.
“We broke up. Or, he broke up with me. Kicked me out, actually.”
Her mouth fell open.
“Someone leaked insider information about Harper, and because some of it came from our text thread, he assumed it was me.” My bottom lip trembled.
“Oh, Katie!” Her face fell. “I’m so sorry. Tell me what happened.”
It took a few minutes before I could compose myself to talk, and when I finally managed to tell her everything, she seemed dumbfounded.
“So I guess I didn’t know him as well as I thought I did,” I finished with a shrug and teary smile.
“I mean…he really believes you would do that? Does he not know you at all?”
“I guess not. We never agreed to anything serious, so maybe I never moved out of fuck-buddy status in his mind.”
Cassie squinted at me. “Is that what you really think?”
I shook my head. “No.”
And it was true. Despite how things had ended, when we were together it had felt so real. So meaningful. And I know he felt it too. So why did he throw everything away?
My sister was studying me, coming to conclusions without me even needing to open my mouth. “You loved him, didn’t you?”
It was jarring to hear it put so plainly. I’d never admitted it to myself, but I’d felt it. In my heart, in my bones. Yes, I loved James Morris. But when it came to saying it out loud, well, all I could manage was to nod.
“He’d have to be an idiot not to feel it.”
“Cassie,” I sighed. “It’s over. He’s not the kind of man to come crawling back, trust me.” I pointed to the box. “I need a cupcake while the brownies are baking, please.”
“You got it.” She slid it toward me then went to her cupboard. “Red wine goes with cupcakes, right?”
“Sounds perfect,” I mumbled with my mouth full of red velvet.
She turned around clutching the bottle to her chest. “I’ve missed you so damn much. You know that? None of this wedding bullshit has been fun without you. The girls are great, but they’re not you .”
“Cassie, don’t make me cry again,” I said, my voice cracking. “My eyes are so swollen already.”
She put the bottle down and strode across the room toward me with her arms outstretched. I walked to her, and we connected like two magnets coming together. After feeling so alone since James tossed me out, it was incredible getting a real, full-body hug again.
Cassie sniffled against my shoulder. “Sorry, I think I just got snot on you.”
“It’s okay,” I laughed through my tears. “I love everything about you, even your snot.”
When we finally pulled apart, Cassie grabbed my face in her hand and fixed her eyes on mine. “Will you be my MOH, please? I’m begging you.”
“Of course,” I laughed as relief flowed through me. “I’ve been waiting for you to ask!”
We hugged again. “No one gets me like you.”
“I’m your big sister, it’s sort of my job.”
Cassie finally pushed away from me. “No, your job is convincing our wedding planner that vanilla is the new pineapple upside-down cake.”
We laughed, and for a little while, I forgot about the fact that the rest of my life was still a shambles.