33. Kaitlyn
33
KAITLYN
“ D o you swear it’s not too much?” Cassie asked me, smoothing the back of her hair as she looked in the mirror in her bridal suite.
“You look perfect ,” I assured her, tucking one of the sparkly combs deeper into her updo. “The most beautiful bride I’ve ever seen.”
She exhaled and closed her eyes for a moment. “Why am I so nervous? I mean, I’ve wanted to marry Scott since the day I met him. What’s with these stupid butterflies in here?” She tapped her hands against her stomach.
“Well, you’ve got a room full of people getting ready to stare at you and take pictures of you for the next three hours, a wedding planner who’s acting like an air traffic controller, and you haven’t eaten anything but toast today. Butterflies make sense.”
Cassie pushed back from the mirror and faced me. “Last time I’m asking. Good, right?” She gestured down the front of her body.
Even though she looked like a dream, I humored her and pretended to consider the question, slowly trailing my eyes down the dress. It was a simple, slim ivory gown without any embellishments except for the wide straps, which were made of illusion netting covered with delicate pearls and crystals that shimmered when she moved. Her hair was twisted in a chignon, set with a small, sparkly comb on either side of it that would anchor her simple veil.
“Absolutely amazing.”
I swooped her into a hug, trying to hold back tears. To think I almost missed this!
“Stop, stop, you’re going to make me cry,” Cassie fussed, sniffling as she pushed me away. “Besides, you don’t want to wrinkle your gorgeous gown.”
I did feel pretty, for the first time in a while. My maid of honor dress was the palest pink, just a few shades darker than Cassie’s dress in a break from the tradition dictating that only the bride could wear a light color. It was a floaty, cross-body confection that felt elegant and comfortable. Which was great, because I planned to sit in the corner all night nursing drinks and eating too much vanilla wedding cake.
“Cassandra?” The photographer poked her head in our room. “Are you ready for the first look photos?”
Cassie and Scott had agreed to do the new tradition of seeing one another before the walk down the aisle, so she’d have time to touch up her makeup due to the guaranteed tears.
“I am.” She turned back to me. “The girls are down the hall in the holding room if you want to join them for some champagne. I should be back in twenty minutes or so.”
“Okay, yeah, I will in a few minutes.” I grasped her hands. “You look gorgeous. Now go show your man how lucky he is!”
She grinned, her eyes shining.
Once I was alone, I settled on the settee to scroll through my phone. I wasn’t ready to surrender to the noise and energy of three tipsy bridesmaids. When I saw James was trending on Twitter my heart lurched, but I clicked through before I could stop myself. It was torture seeing his photo splashed all over my feed, but I needed to know if something had happened with Harper.
The headline read, Billionaire Boss Battle: Lucas Rushing arrested for corporate espionage and hacking of longtime rival James Morris . I breathed a sigh of relief that it was work-related and was about to move onto the next Tweet when something in the accompanying photos stopped me. The guy being arrested had his head down in the photo, but I was shocked to realize that his blurry profile looked familiar to me. I kept scrolling until I found a better photo of him and felt sick to my stomach when I realized what had happened.
Lucas Rushing was Lou !
Every conversation came flooding back as I put the puzzle pieces together. No wonder he’d always been so eager for any gossip about my job! Reading through the article, I learned one of the security guards had been bribed to share info with Lucas about the comings and goings from the house—and it occurred to me that this explained how he had managed to be around every time I went running, even when it was at random times. I reconsidered every conversation I had with him now that I knew who he was.
Had I said anything incriminating about James or Harper? I’d probably complained about my uptight boss once or twice in the beginning, but I was always true to client and patient confidentiality. I felt a little sick that I’d been manipulated and that I’d once considered him a friend. How had my instincts been so wrong?
A realization struck me setting off a wave of nausea. My phone! The last time I’d seen him, when my music app wasn’t working, I’d actually handed my phone over to him. He’d had complete access to it, meaning he could’ve planted a surveillance app on it—or even gone in and taken screencaps of my text messages to send to himself. I cringed that he’d likely also seen some of the romantic texts James and I had sent each other.
James.
So was it clear to him now that I hadn’t betrayed him? I knew what we’d once shared was too far gone to recover, but I felt a profound sense of relief at the thought that at least he’d understand I didn’t betray his trust. He was supposed to be at the wedding, which meant there was a chance we’d cross paths at some point during the evening. I wasn’t sure how to feel about it.
I had no idea how long I sat staring out the window lost in thought, but the next thing I knew the perfectly put together blonde wedding planner was peeking her head in the room and hissing at me that it was time to line up. I followed behind her and joined up with Maddy, Nia, and Hope, who were already smiley and peppy thanks to their pre-ceremony party.
The venue was gorgeous, a tropical botanic garden transformed into a fairytale of lush flowers and pastel drapery. The four of us waited at the end of a long, grass aisle, hidden behind a wall of roses as the music cued up.
“Where’s the bride?” Maddy asked, looking around. “We can’t start this gig without her.”
Cassie finally strolled up to where we were gathered, a curious expression on her face.
“You okay?” Nia asked, frowning. “You look weird.”
Cassie nodded. “Yeah, but I need to talk to my sister for a sec.” She grabbed my hand and pulled me a few steps away from the group.
“What’s wrong?” I whispered, searching her face for hints of what was going on.
“Absolutely nothing,” she sighed, her eyes shining. “This is already the best day of my life. But I know how it could be even better. Katie, would you walk me down the aisle?”
She’d planned to make the walk alone, a solo journey to her husband-to-be to show she didn’t need anyone to bless their new union. Cassie hated the idea of being “given away,” especially since there was no one in our family qualified to perform the honor. I didn’t know quite how to respond.
“It’s always been just us,” she continued, holding both of my hands in hers. “You and me. And even though this new chapter of my life is beginning, no one can replace you. I want the world to know that our love came first.”
“Cassie…” tears rushed to my eyes as she squeezed my hands. “Yes, of course I will!”
We fell into each other’s arms and tried to keep from dissolving into full-on sobbing.
“Ladies,” the planner said in an impatient voice. “We’re ready. We need to keep this on time, okay?”
We both shot daggers at her as we fell in line behind the rest of the girls. When I was finally able to compose myself enough to focus, I looked down the aisle to where Scott and his groomsmen had gathered. I giggled at how shell-shocked he looked.
“Ready?” Cassie asked me.
“You know it,” I beamed at her.
We started down the aisle. I tried not to scan the crowd, but it was as if my eyes were magnetized to lock onto him. James was the first person I saw, but I barely let my gaze rest on him.
Today wasn’t about whatever had happened between us. Right now, my sole focus was my sister’s happiness.
The sound of people clinking their glasses filled the tent, and Scott paused on the dancefloor to lean in to kiss Cassie for what felt like the millionth time. He fist-pumped afterward and everyone laughed.
Nia ran over to where I was sitting, out of breath and a little sweaty. “Why aren’t you out there?” she asked, pointing to the crowd moving along to vintage Jackson Five. She grabbed a glass of water and downed it.
“I’m having fun watching everyone,” I replied then held my phone up. “I’m the unofficial photographer for the night, taking all the incriminating pictures. I’ve got some amazing shots of you twerking.”
Her eyes went wide. “No!”
I laughed and shrugged. “You’ll just have to wait and see. But don’t let me stop you from the Electric Slide. Get back out there, everyone is waiting for you.”
She grabbed a flute and took a gulp of champagne, winked at me, then ran back out to the rest of the group.
Truth was, I wasn’t in the mood for dancing.
After the ceremony, I’d clung to the hope that James would seek me out to talk about everything. I imagined us finding a dark corner of the tent where we could hash out what had happened between us, and how everything had changed once he learned of Lucas’s deception. I’d even concocted a fantasy that he’d apologize for doubting me, though I knew James wasn’t one for saying sorry. Ever.
I tried not to be obvious that I was tracking his whereabouts as the guests filed out of their seats following the ceremony and headed toward the nearby reception tent. There were photos to take with the bridal party, in a thousand different combinations and poses. It felt like we weren’t dismissed for hours, so by the time I made my way to the tent to casually-but-not-at-all-casually look for James, there was no sign of him. I continued to scan the area for him, thinking maybe he’d slipped away for a phone call, or was in a long line for drinks, but he didn’t appear even as the first course was being served.
He'd left without saying a word to me.
I wanted to wallow in my sadness, to let the tears flow about everything I’d lost. But then I looked at my beaming sister and her new husband and was reminded that the day wasn’t about me. I’d have plenty of time to rehash the fact that James had walked out of an opportunity to connect with me. That he had no desire to try to make things right between us.
As I looked around the room filled with happy guests, it became all the more obvious I’d probably wind up consumed by the thoughts of what I’d lost. I barely knew anyone—the majority of the guests were Scott’s people. And now they were Cassie’s people, too. She’d married into a happy, healthy, robust family who acted like she was already one of them. The doting aunties kept clucking around her all night, forcing her to eat. The grandparents kept looking at her with warm smiles during Scott and Cassie’s first waltz. And then there was the insane choreographed dance Scott and his brothers and male cousins had done for Cassie, bowing before her at the end like she was their queen. She was one of them.
And I was alone.
The stark realization nearly took my breath away. Of course, I’d always have Cassie, but now she had a network of family who could support her, too. Maybe it would be more convenient for her to reach out to her new sister-in-law instead of me, since they both knew the ins and outs of the family? I’d been so wrapped up in developing my career and being my absolute best that I’d neglected to grow my own support network. Sure, Nia, Hope, and Maddy would be there for me if I needed them, but they were Cassie’s friends first.
I fiddled with the hem of my gown, trying not to cry. I’d lost so much.
“Hey, seat warmer,” Cassie yelled at me, dragging a sweaty Scott with her to the edge of the dancefloor. “They’re about to play ‘I Gotta Feeling.’ Get out here!”
“Ugh,” I rolled my eyes. “Next song, promise.”
She held out her other hand to me. “Nope, sorry. Bride’s orders, let’s go!”
Scott pretended to hook me with a fishing pole and reel me in. “Dance, dance, dance!” he chanted.
The rest of the bridesmaids joined the chant, clapping along until I stood up, causing the group to break out in cheers.
Nia ran over to me and bumped her shoulder against mine. “See that hot guy in the blue tie?” I looked to where she was pointing and saw an undeniably attractive dark-haired man jumping up and down with the rest of the groomsmen. “He thinks you’re incredible. He wants to meet you.”
I laughed and didn’t answer her.
Because as much as I tried to convince myself otherwise, the only dark-haired man I wanted was James.