ONE #2
He heard the words betrayal, family, and how she didn’t feel safe, but internally, he was dealing with his own shit. He almost lost his brother last night, which was still a tough pill to swallow.
“I don’t feel safe anywhere,” Nina said, her voice cutting through just enough to pull him halfway back.
He looked into her eyes, and sadly, his baby wasn’t there.
“I don’t feel safe at home. I don’t feel safe with you. I don’t feel safe with them. I don’t feel like myself right now.” Her comment was supposed to affect him but it did the opposite.
“Jio?”
“Yes, baby?”
Nina bore a hole into the side of his face.
“You’re not listening to me.”
“I am,” he nodded.
“I don’t want to die,” she admitted. “I just don’t want to be here.” She was sharing her deepest thoughts with him, and he wished he could be the man she needed in the moment, but he was drowning too. The real question was, could they save each other?
“Where you wanna go?” he asked her. Depending on where she wanted to venture off to, he would tag along.
She let out a hollow breath.
“Far.”
A tear slipped down her temple and into her hair.
“So far that none of this will affect me.”
Jio rubbed a hand over his face, exhaustion creeping in from all directions now. He needed to rest.
“You gotta stop wanting to run away. Life is going to always come with some bullshit, baby.”
He didn’t expect his comment to fuck her up, but she broke, again.
Her body folded in on itself, sobs ripping through her chest so violently that it looked like it hurt.
Jio moved without thinking to comfort his love. He pulled her into him, and instantly, she clung to his shirt. Nina knew that the only thing keeping her from falling apart was him.
“I ruined everything,” she cried.
“Nah.” He shook his head. “You didn’t mess nothing up. Don’t let them trick you into thinking that bullshit either.”
“Yes, I did!” she sobbed. “I ruined everything. I can kiss my future goodbye.”
“I can’t breathe,” Nina gasped dramatically.
“Relax,” he coaxed her. “Slow down baby. Inhale… and exhale.” He rubbed small circles into the small of her back.
Her body rejected his advice. The anxiety of what her life could look like if her family cut her off frightened her deeply.
She pulled away suddenly and stumbled off the bed.
“Babe, where you going?”
She barely made it two steps before a violent gag seized her throat. Jio had just started to swing his legs over the side of the bed when she doubled over and vomited. Chunks of her last meal splattered across the hardwood floor.
He was at her side in an instant, gathering her hair into one hand and rubbing slow circles against her back with the other as another wave overtook her.
Her body convulsed with each heave until there was nothing left to bring up.
Tears blurred her vision and streamed freely down her cheeks as she gasped for air between retches.
This was what stress looked like.
When it was finally over, sweat clung to every inch of her skin. Her legs trembled beneath her, and every ounce of strength had been wrung from her. She was emptied; mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically.
After a hot shower, he helped her back to bed and laid a cold towel across her forehead.
“You good?” he asked.
She nodded weakly, eyes already closing.
“I’m just… tired.”
“Get some rest, I’m here.”
“Yeah, for now. When I wake up you’ll be gone and you know it.”
He wasn’t available like she needed him to be. Jio was a made man… his time was always split between her, the streets, the club, and his family.
Jio wasn’t about to argue. “Go to bed girl.”
Not long after he commanded her to get some rest, she was out like a light.
Her mind was tired and her body had nothing left to give.
Nina snored louder than she ever had. Jio was a firm believer that the louder a woman snored, the better the pussy.
He sat there for a minute, looking at her in all of her mess and glory.
The silence was welcomed but he went from worrying about her to stressing over his own current dilemmas.
He couldn’t catch a fuckin’ break. Back to the streets his brain went and the chaos that came along with it.
η
Waking up alone was normal for Nina, and waking up to Jio beside her was a treat.
She didn’t get to indulge often, but when she did, she cherished every second in his presence.
Today was one of those mornings where she wasn’t upset that he wasn’t there.
She needed some time to process her emotions before deciding how she would move forward.
Nina got out of bed and immediately opened the curtains.
For her, the sun shining was a sign from God that today was a fresh start.
She got dressed so she could walk Nino. She was too nervous to go to work, in fear that her key card wouldn’t work and her access had been revoked.
She wouldn’t be able to outlive the embarrassment, so she didn’t bother going in that direction.
Instead, she decided to take full advantage of a “free” Monday, since it’d been months since she was able to do whatever she wanted.
Nina went to the market, ran a few errands, and treated her body to a massage along with two new bottles of perfume all before she met Ephrem for lunch.
After she shared the happenings of the horrible night where she kicked her damn sister down the steps of her parents’ stoop, the only thing Ephrem could muster was, “Damn.”
All of a sudden, the butter chicken over basmati rice didn’t look too appealing.
“Tell me about it,” she mumbled under her breath.
“How did your parents take the news of you and J?”
Her eyes ballooned once more. “You weren’t listening when I told you my mom-
“Yeah, yeah, I heard all the threats but that was two days ago. What’s the verdict?”
She shrugged her shoulders. “Not sure. They haven’t called. My sister did though. I’m sure she has all the answers I need.”
“Damn.”
Nina was annoyed with his lack of words.
“Please say something else! I beg of you.”
Ephrem sipped his tea. “I meannnnn, at least they know now. The sneaking around had to be stressful. Right?”
“I would’ve hid that nigga for the rest of my life if I had the chance,” she admitted to her best friend, causing him to laugh.
“I BELIEVE YOU TOO!”
Nina looked over her shoulder just out of a bad habit that she’d picked up from her man.
“He didn’t say much when I told him, but he has a lot going on as well. It was just bad timing and not a good weekend for us in general. I needed him… he needed me… we don’t treat each other right all the time.”
Self-awarness and Nina Marcelle went hand in hand. But what is it called when you know you’re fuckin’ up and could do better but still lack the willpower to change?
Because that was Nina.
“How can you do better?” Ephrem was curious to know.
“We need to make our relationship a priority again. He’s busy. I’m swamped with work. We live two totally different lives.”
“I asked about you princess,” Ephrem winked his eye.
Nina grimaced but she thought about his question deeply before parting her lips to speak.
“To be better to Jio and to show up as a supportive partner?” she pushed.
He nodded. “Yep.”
She sighed and bowed her head.
“Hmm…. I can improve. Like I care, but sometimes he talks in riddles to the point where I know what he’s saying isn’t entirely truthful, so I automatically zone out of the conversation and become unconcerned.”
Yep… self-awareness was her strong point.
“He has to tell you all of his business for you to care?” Ephrem challenged.
“No, but I need more context information to be concerned.”
Nina was an intelligent woman. Jio was aware, and because of her high ass I.Q., he often had to draw back on what he shared with her because she was good at putting two and two together to get four. Every time.
Although his baby lacked street smarts, she had plenty of common sense and discernment.
“Are you going to try and get your job back?” was Ephrem’s next question.
“Indeed, I am. How? Not sure yet.”
“Were you fired or you’re assuming that you are?”
“It was never discussed, but what other way could they punish me?”
Nina knew her parents well enough, specifically her mother, to know that she was going to try her best to tear her down and leave her with nothing.
All so she could prove a point. She wished that she had the balls to tell them that Jio wasn’t going anywhere.
It was in their best interest to accept it and mind their business, but she was too scared to say it to their faces.
“Call the office and see if they know anything.”
“You think that’s a good idea?”
Ephrem nodded. “Yeah, make it seem like you’re working from home today and you were just calling to check in.”
She chewed on the inside of her mouth for a few seconds.
“Hmm…okay….yeah, I’m going to call the front desk.”
Nina pulled her cell phone out.
“Marcelle & Co. You’ve reached the office of Nina Marcelle,” Sharon answered on the second ring.
“Hi Sharon, it’s Nina.”
“Hey dear, how are ya? Your dad just stopped by looking for you.”
“Oh, he did?” Nina tried to hide her shock.
“Yes ma’am. I told him that you were coming in after your dentist appointment.”
“Dentist?”
She forgot all about that shit.
“Yes ma’am, that’s what you told me on Thursday before you left the office.”
“Yep! You’re right. I’ll probably work from home today. Did he say why he stopped by?”
“No, he said he would give you a call.”
“Sounds good, thank you, Sharon.”
After Nina placed her cell phone back on the table, she gave Ephrem a thumbs-up. “I may not be unemployed after all.”
“You won’t be. Your parents care too much about what other people think,” he said as if he knew them better than she did.
Nina thought of her sister, but she kept her thoughts contained. Ephrem wasn’t a fan of how unsupportive they’d been regarding Talia’s struggles.