Chapter 17 The religion resolution
By New Years Eve, Leah and Gabe were back in New York. They lit the Hanukkah candles every night by sticking them into a potato instead of using the Hanukkiah Leah’s mother had bought them because it was funny and they liked it. It would become a family tradition, they decided, and Leah liked that they were making plans for their future family. It meant their marriage would work and there would be kids who would learn about their two different religions and they would retell the story of the time they lit candles on a potato before midnight mass.
Leah was trying to forgive Gabe for not sticking up for her religion on Christmas Eve. This was a learning process for both of them, and she should give him the benefit of the doubt, that next time, he’d do what Cindy did, just as she would try to do for him. But her anger itched inside her.
New Year’s Eve came and they decided to stay in. They were no longer new New Yorkers, meaning they’d done all the typical New Year’s things and had no desire to pay the overpriced covers for overcrowded bars and clubs. They’d seen the ball drop from so far away that the ball looked more like a Christmas light. They’d done the prix-fixe New Year’s menu at restaurants and knew it meant smaller portions with higher prices, even though it was marketed as a deal.
That day they grocery shopped and bought wine and the ingredients to cook a fancy meal together. They opened the wine late afternoon and spent much longer than the recipe said it would take to cook a beef stew.
“This is delicious, but doesn’t taste like three hours of work,” Leah said as she ate the stew in front of the TV. They were watching the broadcast showing Times Square and had thus far been mocking all the ridiculous people who had been waiting there for hours, all day maybe, just for a chance to see the ball drop. Those people were crazy! It was freezing there! They could barely see the ball anyway! Leah and Gabe knew all these things because they had tried it the year before. Leah had been so optimistic, so excited. Being in Times Square on New Year’s Eve was something everyone who loved New York should experience at least once!
They’d come after an early dinner (expensive prix fixe) and planned to stay until midnight. But by 8:00 PM, she couldn’t feel her toes from the cold and from being stepped on so many times. Her nose was so red and frozen she couldn’t even feel the snot running down to her mouth. There was no more optimism and excitement. Gabe suggested they go home and Leah felt defeated when she agreed. But then they stopped at a bodega and bought all their favorite snacks and ate them on the couch with a much better view of Times Square. “Let’s never leave our apartment again on New Year’s Eve,” Leah suggested then and this year that’s what they did.
“But it’s as good as last year’s dinner,” Gabe commented. “Better, because I’m not limited to eating just a couple tiny bites artfully plated on a fancy dish. I love New Year’s Eve.”
“Agreed!” Leah said. It was already almost midnight.
“And because we don’t need to do any religious stuff on this holiday,” Gabe said. “That makes this holiday the best of the season.”
Maybe it was because Leah had kept her mouth shut for the week about how she felt about the first night of Hanukkah, but this small comment made the anger itching inside her ignite.
“Need to do the religious stuff?” she said. “Do you feel like religion is a chore?”
“Yes,” Gabe said. “It’s completely a chore. As enjoyable as taking out the trash.”
“You didn’t enjoy lighting the Hanukkah candles with me all week?”
“That was nice, but…”
“But what?” Leah cut him off. “You’d rather just forget about it?”
“Well…”
“But only when it’s my religion, right?” Leah was really angry now. “Because when it’s yours, it’s important. Like going to your parent’s place for Christmas.”
“That wasn’t about religion, that was about family and yes, family is important,” Gabe said.
“That is about religion,” she said. “Otherwise we could have visited your family on any other night that wasn’t the first night of Hanukkah! And thank God for Cindy! Who was so thoughtful!”
“It was just one night! You have eight! We lit the candles every single night. I’m not sure what you’re angry about,” Gabe responded.
“I’m angry that you don’t respect my religion,” Leah said. “We promised we’d respect each other’s religions.”
“And that’s why we lit the candles every night,” Gabe repeated.
“But you thought it was a chore,” Leah said.
Gabe shrugged. “Respect doesn’t mean I have to enjoy and be excited about your traditions. It was very nice, I am happy to light the candles with you.”
“Like you’re happy to take out the trash,” Leah said.
“What do you want from me?” Gabe said. Leah could see he was getting annoyed by the way he leaned away from her on the couch and rolled his eyes. “It’s not my tradition. You should respect that.”
“I do! Do you see me pushing you to convert? You understand that’s what my family wants you to do? That they think I should force you to become Jewish?”
“How is making me light the candles with you any different?”
That last comment made Leah want to scream. Instead, she stood up and stormed into their bedroom, slamming the door behind her. She cried quietly in bed while she heard the city around her count down and explode in cheers and fireworks at midnight. What a great way to start the new year.
Sometime later, Gabe came in. “I’m sorry,” he said.
“Are you sorry? Or are you just apologizing to end the fight?” Leah asked.
“Both,” Gabe responded. “I don’t want to fight. I am sorry I offended you. I will try to be more respectful.”
“I’m sorry too,” she said. “Let’s make it our resolution to be more respectful.”
“Deal,” Gabe said.
“We also need to get serious about wedding planning,” Leah said. “That’s resolution number two.”
Gabe got in bed next to her. “Let’s start now.” Gabe pulled out his phone and Googled “affordable wedding venues Manhattan.” Leah snuggled into Gabe as they browsed photos of lofts, hotels, and open spaces that hosted weddings and only had one or two dollar signs next to their names in all the guides. There were some beautiful ones, a rooftop terrace on the Lower East Side, an option for an outdoor wedding in the park, and a Midtown hotel ballroom.
“I could get married in any of these,” Leah said. They bookmarked places to call once the holiday was over and made a checklist of things to do, from finding a caterer, a band, flowers, a dress, and tuxedo.
It was early morning by the time they fell asleep together in each other’s arms in their bed and when Leah woke up that day around noon, she looked at Gabe and thought, this is how I want to wake up every day for the rest of my life. She felt his warmth and watched the way his chest rose and fell and noticed how his eyelashes framed his closed eyes. She didn’t move until she felt him stir.
“What time is it?” he asked, his eyes still closed as he rolled toward her and wrapped his arms around her.
“Noonish,” she responded, enjoying the feeling of his body around hers. He snuggled into her and started kissing her neck gently. His hands started tracing her back in the way that made her hyperaware of her skin and in response, she wrapped her legs around his waist. He moved his kiss from her neck to her cheek, and then down to her chest, avoiding her lips so that she ached for his mouth on hers. When she couldn’t stand it anymore, she grabbed his chin and lifted it so that their lips pressed together, their tongues dancing inside. His hands no longer traced her back, rather they grasped it tight and Leah pressed into him.
It felt to her as though they were making a promise to achieve their New Year’s resolution together. The way best friends might prick their fingers to share blood, Leah and Gabe were making a pact to be together forever, through sickness and in health, through good times and bad, and through the rollercoaster of wedding planning with their families.