Chapter 23 Exploiting the goyfriend
Baby-mania took over all Rosenberg activities over the next month. Shira spent two days in labor before her baby girl came out and then it was a circus of taking care of the new mother and baby. Savannah was all hands on deck as a new grandmother and Leah too spent a lot of her time commuting to her parents’ place to help Shira and get to know her sweet niece, Evelyn.
They held a baby-naming at their temple where Shira announced that her daughter’s Hebrew name would be Tamar and everyone brought gifts and no one seemed to care that there was no father in the picture.
Leah wondered if this was because everyone was so smitten by the baby and then she wondered if her mother would feel the same way about her marriage when the time came. Just as the baby was such a joy even when coming from a single mother, maybe a show of a strong marriage would also prove that a small imperfection—such as a different religion—was not so important. All she needed was a perfect wedding, and all would be resolved.
And then she tried to imagine in a few years herself and Gabe hosting a baby naming or a bris if they had a boy. She could see herself standing in Shira’s place, but what about Gabe? Would he be on board with her to bestow their baby with the blessings of their ancestors?
In between train rides upstate, Leah and Gabe organized their wedding. Now that Leah was considered a social media “micro-influencer,” wedding planning got so much easier. People in the industry knew who she was. She didn’t have enough followers that people were offering her things for free, but they were giving them discounts or offering to throw in extras so long as she wrote a nice post about them. They debated between an outdoor wedding in the park and a loft in Midtown. Leah did a poll on Instagram asking what people preferred, considering the likelihood of a downpour in the park. Fourth time’s not such a charm! She joked on social media, but her followers were optimistic and chose the outdoor wedding, so Leah went along with that choice.
They booked a caterer, who offered to provide seven hors d'oeuvres instead of four, and a band that said they’d play for five hours instead of three and checked off all the other tasks to furnish the outdoor space. Leah posted a selfie with the caterer’s head chef which garnered hundreds of likes.
“Having a famous fiancé is awesome,” Gabe commented when they went cake tasting and chose a three-tiered red velvet cake with a cream cheese center. The cake vendor offered to add figurines resembling them made of fondant to the top of the cake. Leah then posted a picture of her and Gabe feeding each other tiny tasting pieces of cake in front of the store’s logo.
Leah took Maya dress shopping where they were offered champagne and 20% off any dress. She then chose one that was flattering but also tasteful. It covered half her shoulders, which she thought was a good compromise. While she wouldn’t show the dress on her social media, Leah posted about the store she bought it from and received hundreds of comments from people begging to know what she chose.
She was a little disappointed that her sister and mother couldn’t be involved with any of her wedding planning—they were just so busy with little Evelyn—but she sent them pictures of everything she and Gabe chose and they always responded enthusiastically. No matter how enthusiastic, the responses hurt her. Didn’t they see how perfect everything was? How perfect the wedding would be? How perfect she and Gabe were?
There weren’t any more bad omens and no more downpours and so Leah forgot about her fear that the universe was against her wedding.
By mid-summer, almost all the planning was finished. All that was left to do was attend a few more dress fittings, fly to Vegas for their bachelor and bachelorette parties on the same weekend, and of course, walk down the aisle.
And maintain her growing social media account. It was becoming a full-time job, between shooting pictures and videos for reels, editing the media, writing captions, and responding to messages. Well, it wasn’t exactly like a full-time job because she wasn’t getting paid, but there were lots of people who made a living from social media and Leah was hoping that if she worked at it hard enough, maybe she could too.
That late July morning, she kissed Gabe goodbye before he went to work and then she pulled out her phone. She opened Instagram to look at the responses she’d received overnight. The previous day she had posted about the interfaith Ketubah she ordered for them.
She found an Israeli Ketubah artist who sold prints in the US with varying texts. After emailing the artist with her Instagram, she and the artist agreed on a trade, Leah would talk about the Ketubah design on her social media and get the Ketubah for free. It was the first free thing she received and so she made special care to make sure she was upholding her end of the bargain.
She made a video of the Ketubah, showing off its abstract watercolor design that incorporated elements of nature and harmony. She talked about how she purposefully wanted to leave out religious symbols, while still evoking the meaning of the Ketubah, which was about love and devotion. She also talked about the text she chose, which included in both Hebrew and English a note about embarking on life’s journey together and the promise of supporting each other throughout. She also mentioned Gabe’s happy acceptance of the Ketubah, which might have been a slight embellishment. In truth, Gabe didn’t really understand what it was, but shrugged and agreed since “it was just a piece of art anyway.” It was more than art, but that was still a small victory for Leah.
She opened her phone and saw the first comment on the reel:
You’re finishing what the Holocaust started.
The comment stung her in the heart, maybe because part of her agreed with it, but in a less dramatic way. She deleted the comment and then kept reading.
This is beautiful! I want to get one for me and my goyfriend!
Leah liked the comment and pointed the commenter to the link in her profile. She also smiled to think that goyfriend was now becoming a real word thanks to her Instagram. She wondered if Alex, her former colleague and friend from Club Business who coined the term, was aware of what he started.
I don’t understand why you are bragging about this. You should be ashamed! If you’re going to desecrate an ancient Jewish tradition, at least do it off social media!
Delete. She moved to the next.
I would have loved a Ketubah when I married my non-Jewish husband! This wasn’t a thing back then. I’m so glad Judaism is becoming more inclusive.
Like. Leah also responded that she too was glad.
What’s the big deal? So you’re marrying a Christian. Get over yourself!
Delete.
Love this!! I had no idea interfaith Ketubahs existed!
There was a whole list of comments and even some messages from people telling her their own stories of interfaith marriages. Reviewing everything took Leah several hours in front of her phone. When her eyes were starting to hurt, she got up, stretched, and ate some yogurt.
Next, she started creating new reels and posts for the week ahead. She knew she needed to post daily to be on the good side of the Instagram algorithm. It meant constantly coming up with new ideas for posts so she also spent time brainstorming. Before she knew it, the “workday” had ended and she had a few new posts and new followers.
“Right where I left you!” Gabe said when he walked in the door. Leah looked up from the couch where she was sitting still in her pajamas. Had she brushed her teeth that day? Yes, she was sure she had.
“I got up a few times!” she insisted to him.
“You’re becoming addicted to your phone,” Gabe responded as he plopped down next to her and kissed her lips.
“You didn’t seem to complain when we got a discount on the cake we ordered, or the extra time with the band, or the discount on the venue.”
“You made your point!” Gabe cut her off. “When are you going to start making money so I can quit my job and be your house husband and the token goyfriend for your account?”
Leah giggled. “The token goyfriend?”
“Yes, without me, you’d have nothing for your Instagram,” he said with a teasing smile. “You’d be a nice Jewish girl like all the others out there. You’re using me and I think that makes me deserve to live off your fame.”
“You make a valid point,” she responded. “If I ever make enough money exploiting you, I promise to support our family and let you be the house husband. But you’ll be in charge of babies.” Leah instantly pictured her niece Evelyn, and how Gabe never wanted to hold her, even though he happily visited Shira with Leah. Parenthood had always been an awkward subject for them. Gabe originally said he didn’t want children. Later he admitted he probably would want kids, but they never really talked about it. It was uncomfortable for both of them.
“What are we having for dinner?” Gabe changed the subject. “Aren’t there any restaurants that want to give you a free meal because I’m not Jewish?”
“Oh sure, a kosher place in Teaneck actually offered me a free dinner! I guess they want to show that they are good even for the non-kosher folk,” Leah laughed, glad they were off the subject of kids again, even though she was now thinking of the baby-naming or bris she hoped they’d have one day.
“So we’re going to Teaneck?” Gabe asked and Leah nodded. Teaneck wasn’t so far into New Jersey, and Leah couldn’t say no to a free dinner and content for her Instagram.