3. Essence
CHAPTER 3
ESSENCE
GLAINE
I should have known better than to assume my mate would recognize me as her male and fall into my arms.
I’d made that same mistake once before, and am grateful that Lilith’s reluctance to agree that she felt some kind of tie between kept me from sharing my essence with her right away. She agreed to join me in Sombra, leaving Soleil behind, to give me the chance to woo her—and denied me mere cycles later when she was introduced to my clan leader and realized that Apollyon was her one true mate.
That tie I sensed? She believes it was because I was fated to find her in Soleil and bring her to my world so that she could meet Apollyon. Centuries later from my failure, I still don’t know if it was the beginning of a mate bond I felt—or just the first time I was attracted to a female.
Such is life in the barracks. I left Nuit as little more than a spawn, relocating to Mavro so that I could begin my training. At the time, Duke Haures had no mate. His entire staff was made up of demon males, and most demonesses were bonded mates in the village when I would return to Nuit to visit.
Not that I paid the few demonesses who weren’t any mind. The doppelseers assured me that my mate would be found off-plane, and when I didn’t find a demoness who called to me during any of the campaigns Duke Haures sent me on, I received a year reprieve to search on my own.
Of course, then she denied me, choosing Apollyon as her bonded mate, and I returned to command well before I was expected to. I’ve never asked for another leave since, though now that I have my human female with me… I will have to at the first opportunity.
But, first, I need to find a way to communicate with my mortal.
I have my essence still—otherwise I would not be able to bond her to me, and now that I’m certain she’s mine, I must— but, to my wonder and dismay, so does she. I’d thought that, when I took her arm and held her close, she’d instantly know I am her male and pass it along to me.
That… is not what happened.
I had carried her through the portal with me, bringing her to Sombra, and once we landed on the outskirts of Mavro, I waited for her to give me her essence. She struck me instead. It didn’t hurt, and I almost thought she was being a playful little human—and then I saw the unmistakable fury on her adorable face.
I have not met many humans, but I think it is fair to say that she is the most attractive of her kind. Everything about her is attractive to me. Her dim yet pretty blue eyes, the same shade as Duke Haures’s. Yellow ringlets that bounce everytime she moves—and a pair of bountiful breasts that, yes, also seem to bounce as she paces away from me. She’s wearing a slip of a covering, showing off a human form that is so different than those of a demoness. If a male didn’t know his own strength, she could be broken in half, she’s that fragile, and her missing horns are surprisingly erotic to me.
The first time I laid eyes on the mortals, when Duke Haures found his duchess, I admittedly found them strange to look at. They’re soft-looking. Squishy. Weak. Where were the points on their ears? The ridges on their brow? Horns to protect their skulls?
True, instead of horns to battle with, they have breasts to snare their males. They are small, but with a Sombra demon as a mate, they are fiercely protected. Their eyes don’t shine with any light to give insight to their nature, but with Susanna first, then when I had the… pleasure to meet Malphas’s mate, I’ve learned that humans are different, yet vibrant and alive even so.
I wonder what I will learn about my mate…
But that is my biggest problem. With her essence, I would know it all, but she hasn’t shared it. And when I showed my frustration by letting off a soft growl, she spoke at me in her human language.
I know little of it. The duke and duchess sometimes murmur to each other in her tongue, but what they speak of is not my concern. I never thought there would be a reason for me to learn any of those words, especially when a mortal mate would instinctively learn Sombran as soon as she took her male’s essence.
I can tell from her tone that she is not happy with me. That is the last thing I want. My mate should be pleased to see me, not glaring daggers at me with her dark gaze as she spins on her heel, pointing at my chest.
“Dnt knoweer iam,” she says, and there’s a ferocity to the nonsense words that makes my aching cock twitch. I weave another layer of shadow over my lower half to conceal it. Angry as she is, I don’t want my mortal to think I only want to lie with her, instead of making her my forever partner for the rest of my immortal existence. “U kant ex plane cuz idnt knowat ursayin.”
Is she upset that the essence exchange didn’t work? She was in the same quarters where I sensed Dagon’s essence. The way she reacted upon seeing me—with more curiosity than fright—makes me wonder if she knew about Sombra demons already. She can’t be Dagon’s mate because she is mine, but what of her kin? The duchess of Sombra’s kin was meant for a Sombra hunter years after Duke Haures bonded Susanna to him. Is that what happened? My mate is kin to Dagon’s mate and that’s why she was there when I went in search of my fellow demon? Does she know of Dagon’s human mate—because he has to have one if the Verus Amor spell summoned him to Earth—and wonders why I am different?
Without her essence, I don’t know. Even if I offered her mine, that would only allow my mortal into my thoughts. I would have no advantage. I need an advantage. There is no way I can risk my mate denying me again. If I lose my essence, I will never have one.
So I must take hers.
Perhaps… perhaps it is because I took her arm. It was not a touch freely given. If she approaches me, taking my hand… would that trigger the exchange?
It’s worth a chance.
While I stare at my mortal beauty, making sense of my next actions, she glances over her shoulder. The first part of her mumblings are too muffled for me to hear, before she adds, “Im stuk.”
I make a small sound in the back of my throat. It is a soothing sound, meant to calm her without reminding her that the only words I know are in Sombran.
She squints at me. “Thisssis urfult.”
Whatever you say, my mortal.
I will be contrite. Using gestures instead of words, I will implore her to at least give me her essence so that I can explain to her who I am, who she is to me, and why I brought her to Sombra with me.
Once she knows that I am her one true mate, she will understand. I’m sure of it.
Bowing my head, regretting for one of the only times in my life that I do not have my second pair of horns in order to impress her with them, I hold out my arm. I wiggle my fingers, letting her see how strong and thick my claws are since I don’t think showing off my cock will work just yet. Maybe when we are alone in the privacy of my quarters.
For now, I offer her my skin.
Her gaze is locked on my fingers. Not my fierce claws, but my hand on its own.
“Wat? Troos? Isdat watchu meen?”
“I want you to give me your essence, my mate. Won’t you?”
She doesn’t understand my words, but my cajoling tone does the trick. Her expression is distrustful, but as though she can sense that she is safe with me, that I will not harm her, she moves until she’s right in front of me.
Lifting her arm, she keeps her own hand tucked near her breasts. I’d once thought the pale pink coloring of humans like Susanna meant they were sick. I no longer do. She is healthy for a being that can perish, and I look forward to the moment when our bond will make her immortal.
“Please,” I rumble.
Perhaps she understands some Sombran after all. That, or my pleading sways her. Either way, she darts out her hand, pressing her palm against mine before making a strange shaking motion with her arm.
I want to tell her that she need not do that to pass me her essence. Just her willing touch, flesh against flesh, completes the essence exchange.
That’s not all that happens. Before, I was too focused on bringing her into the shadows that would lead us to Sombra to notice how different her temperature is from mine. Once we’re bonded and she becomes immortal, she will match my heat. For now, her skin is chilled, ripping a gentle moan from me and sending shivers down my spine.
Is it the moan? Or the way my fangs flash as I arch under her touch? As her essence floods through me, filling me up from foot to horn, my first impression is that I’ve done something wrong. She’s frightened… no, she’s angered .
“What the fuck ?”
My mortal rips her hand out of my hold. Courtesy of her essence, I easily translate her English expletive into Sombran. That one word— fuck —means the at of mating in her language, and I grin.
See? That’s all it took. My mate gave me her essence and already understands that she is, in fact, my mate.
“I appreciate your enthusiasm, female, but I think we should wait until we’re in Nuit before we learn each other's bodies.” However, if she wants to make sure that I can pleasure her… I gesture at my shadow coverings. “But if you’d like me to assure you that I have a cock, I can show it to you now.”
Her mouth falls open. “Are you… did you… no! Keep your pants on, you demon perv!”
Perv? I don’t know that word. “I am not a perv. I am a guard—and your mate.”
She scoffs. “Whatever you say. It doesn’t matter. I don’t know what happened or why you pretended not to know English until right this second, but I don’t care. I’m probably hallucinating this anyway.”
Hallucinating? Oh. Seeing things that do not exist. “This is all real,” I tell her. Dropping low, I scoop up some of the ash from the local ash field. Rising again, I let it fall from my palm. “We are in Sombra.”
Crossing her arms over her delectable chest, she snaps, “I don’t know what Sombra is, either, but it’s not New York and that’s all I care about. So if you’ll just get that patch of darkness back so I can go home… that would be great. Yeah?”
The patch of darkness she’s referring to is the travel spell that brings a demon from Sombra to another plane.
“Why would I do that? I only just retrieved you, mortal.”
“And? You can bring me back.”
I set my jaw. “I will not. I went to the human realm for my mate. I found her. Now you’ll stay with me.”
She blinks. I’ve surprised her, and I can sense her changing tactics at my blunt refusal to let her go. I haven’t been able to delve into her essence enough to learn much about my mate, but it’s clear that she is stubborn like her male—and she proves it when she says, “Well, sorry, but you got the wrong girl. I’m not Sierra.”
“Not-Sierra? That is your name?”
I know her human tongue… why don’t I know her name?
“What? No. I’m Billie… but that’s my point. I’m Billie. I’m not Sierra.”
What is a Sierra?
Her essence… the exchange is complete, but she has somehow managed to conceal much of herself.
That interests me as much as it frustrates me. As she is my mate, I want to know everything about her, but as a soldier who knows better than to share his essence freely, I am pleased that she is smart enough to hold some of herself back. She’s become someone that I can study, a female to learn, and I look forward to that almost as much as I do the moment when she will give up denying that she is mine and welcome me into her heart—and her cunt.
I close my eyes, attempting to focus. Learning about your mate through their essence is supposed to be as instinctive as breathing for a Sombra demon. And yet… though I have hers, it seems as though it’s been protected behind a wall.
Sierra… I see a human female with honey-colored eyes and hair like a length of twine tossed over her delicate shoulder. My mate is fond of her, and this other mortal is one of my mate’s motivations to return to Man-hat-tan. New York. Her clan.
She needs to speak with her… the word I think means ‘friend’, but it seems more like kin. As though they are family. My Billie has to warn her about…
Trevor.
What is a Trevor now?
I delve deeper, claws curling to pierce my palms, my hands fisting as another image flashes through my mind. It’s off another mortal, male this time, and he’s… he’s…
I snarl, banishing the memory of another male pleasuring my mate. I shove the rest of her essence to the corner of my mind, no longer wanting to see. She is my female. My mate. I made no mistake. I knew from the moment I caught her scent and felt the echoes of her essence brush up against me that Billie was born to belong to me. Whether she’s had other males before, it matters not. I am her male now.
I open my eyes, ready to face her and, in her tongue, explain that I am her one true mate—and I roar.
She is gone .
She won’t get far. I have her essence, and even if I didn’t, we are mates. Our bond is not finalized, but it exists. I will follow her anywhere, and not only because—as a Sombra demon—my nature compels it.
I have no doubt that she believes she will find a portal to take her back to the human world if she goes off in search of one. She’s wrong. Only a mage can rip a hole between worlds to return her. And while there are plenty of mages inside of Mavro, she would have to know how to find her way to the capital city first—and survive the shadow beasts and rogue demons that lurk in the darkest of Sombra’s shadows.
In the distance, I see the silhouette of my wee mortal, illuminated by the orange glow from the fire pits. That’s another danger. She could fall into the fire, her mortal body burning away, just more ash for the fields.
No .
I sprint after her, and between my stride and my speed, I catch up to her almost immediately. Plus, I notice as I reach her, she has stopped running, making my pursuit of her all the easier.
I thought it was the fire pit that stopped her. When Billie yelps and, to my surprise, darts behind me, I see what did pause her in her flight.
Vorn. A guard two centuries my younger who I’ve known nearly as long.
His green eyes brighten when he sees me. “Glaine. You’ve found the trespasser.”
“Oh, no,” my mortal mutters behind me. “Can this get any worse?” A hollow laugh, followed by, “Really? I’ve already tempted fate once and got knocked on my ass for it. Do I really want to see how much worse things can get?”
Her words are not meant for me. Still, I move my hand behind me, gesturing to her that I am here, and I will protect her from my fellow guard.
“Trespasser? What trespasser?”
Vorn tilts his head, the flame from the fire pit reflecting off of his polished horn. “The creature tucked behind you, Glaine. She is small, but you must have seen her.” He lowers his voice. “She resembles the duchess.”
Yes. Because she is human. “That doesn’t make her a trespasser.”
I move forward so that the young demon knows better than to move toward my Billie. So that he understands I’m not here to help him apprehend her, but to keep her safe from him.
She doesn’t have my essence. She only knows that I’m speaking in Sombra—but then she gulps audibly, and when she moves closer, laying her hands on the small of my back, I’m resolved. Let Vorn attempt to reach for my mortal. I will shift to my shadows, retrieve my silver blade from the pocket where I keep it tucked out of sight, and wield it against him.
Does he know that I am one of the rare soldiers who have a sword given to them by Duke Haures himself? One that, with the perfect strike, will end even an immortal’s existence without being abandoned to the shadows first?
It was a gift and a duty from his grace when I accepted the post at the head of his personal guard. If a demon goes fully demonic, the silver blade will end him before he becomes a threat to the rest of Sombra. If he rises up against the duke, I have the authority to cut him down.
If Vorn attacks my Billie?—
He holds up his hands, a warding-off gesture. “I beg you forgiveness, sir. Duke Haures warned that there was a threat to the duchess’s safety on the grounds outside of the palace.”
I long to bare my fangs at him, but I restrain my anger. Instead, I gesture behind me. “She is a mortal. What kind of threat is she to demonkind?”
Vorn gulps, but I’ll give the lad credit. He doesn’t falter. “It doesn’t matter. The duke’s orders were clear.”
“What’s going on?” Her breath is cool on my skin as she whispers in English to me. I understand that she’s confused and possibly startled by Vorn’s sudden appearance, but my fellow soldier can only speak in Sombran. Unless I tell her what it is that he’s said—or who he is—then she cannot tell for herself, and she proves that when she edges closer, asking, “Who is he? What does he want?”
I don’t want to hurt Billie, but I act as if I don’t understand her human words. Only for a moment, though, because to know what Duke Haures has told Vorn about the ‘frightening’ female.
“And if she’s a mate?” I ask.
What I mean is: do you know that this mortal is mine? If I show to the other soldier that I understand her human tongue when I never have before this eve, it wouldn’t take the smartest of males to guess that I am hers.
Vorn is more clever than I thought. He glances to my side, peeking at Billie, then meets my gaze. His tone turns apologetic yet firm. “If she is, there is no bond. Duke Haures would have sensed it and known there was no threat. If there was no threat, I would not have been ordered to bring the female straight to him.”
Godsdamn it. Vorn is right. Just like the duke can tell when the portal between realms has been open, his specific magic makes it so that he can tell when a bond exists. Of course. He is a bondmaster.
He is also the ruler of Sombra.
I had planned on taking her to Nuit. It is a three days’ journey on foot. In my shadows, I could zip from Mavro to Nuit in no time, but Billie can not join me in that form until she has my essence. Until then, I will stay as firm as she is. I won’t bring her to the barracks in Mavro as that is no place for me to woo my mate, but I still have a home in Nuit that I am proud to show off to her.
Plus, Loki and his formerly mortal mate live in Nuit. My Billie might respond better to me if she has a human female to help explain what it means
Gods know I did not do a very good job of it.
But that will have to wait. If Duke Haures commands our presence, we will go. Together.
“Come, female,” I say in English. I worry not about Vorn’s reaction now. All of Sombra will know that I claim Billie as my mortal since I won’t allow anyone to separate us. Not while I have her essence, but she doesn’t yet have mine… or a bond to tie us together.
For a moment, I expect her to snap at me again. Or, worse, for her to shove off of my back and bolt.
But it seems as though she has learned her lesson.
“Where are we going?”
“To see Duke Haures.”