10. Essence exchange
CHAPTER 10
ESSENCE EXCHANGE
BILLIE
G laine shudders and, suddenly, he’s gone from being a good twenty feet away from me to right there. The chains heat up enough to be noticeable, though it barely stings as the metal goes from dark gold to vivid red, then to the constant gold glimmer I’ve gotten used to.
Just like the big demon attached to the other end of it, a thick manacle around his just as thick wrist, is the Glaine from before.
He reaches up into his hairline, fingers landing lightly on the nearest horn.
“You didn’t lose a horn,” I blurt out, as though guessing why he reached up the moment he was solid again. “It was his.”
Glaine drops his hand. “Another reason it was a mercy to send him back to the shadows.”
My frown makes it obvious that I don’t understand, but instead of reminding me that I wouldn’t be just as lost myself if I let him give me his essence, he answers my unasked question.
“He was fully demonic so he might not have noticed, but a challenge that ends with a broken horn makes it clear which demon lost the battle. It would’ve taken centuries for his to grow back, and if he survived as long, it would’ve been with the stigma of a male who was too weak to protect that which he cared for.”
Like a mate, I bet.
I wait for Glaine to point out the obvious. That he still has both his horns, the other demon is ash, and I don’t have a single scratch on me. When he doesn’t, I do.
“What the hell was that sword?”
“A gift from Duke Haures to his favored guard. Thankfully, he didn’t think to ask for its return before he put us both in the dungeon. I kept it for safe-keeping in my shadows, but once the chains were gone, I grabbed it.”
Yeah. Thankfully.
And about those chains…
“Did you know you could escape from them?” To me, that’s more important than the stupid sword. “Can you take the chains off anytime you want?”
Can you take them off now ?
So maybe I’m stuck with this manacle on my wrist until we can find a mage we can bring to take it off. But if Glaine can go shadowy after all and slip out of it like he did, he might as well. Why stay chained to me if he doesn’t have to?
And, okay. I know the answer to that one. He’s convinced I’m his mate. As long as I’m stuck to him like this, he has the chance to find a way to get me to agree. Not likely, but it’s a lot easier to use Stockholm syndrome to his advantage when he not only tries to save me by coming between me and another demon, then trusts me enough to stab the rogue instead of taking the chance to plunge the sword in his back instead.
I would never. I don’t hate Glaine. This is just a shitty circumstance. He lives in a world where he’s spent centuries— centuries —believing that, if he did his duty, his gods would reward him with one female to be his forever mate. He believes that me, and according to his traditions and his customs, he’s just acting like any other demon male would.
It’s me that’s not acting the way I’m supposed to—at least, to Glaine, I’m not. I get the idea that, in this world, when a demon recognizes his fated mate, it’s expected that she does the same. And if you know that you’re looking at the one guy meant for you, what’s the point in waiting? That I haven’t already tried to sleep with him just makes Glaine think that he’s done something wrong, and that nothing will stop him from fixing it.
He’s trying. I’ll give him that. He’s trying, and with the little he knows about me from my essence, it’s working.
Damn it.
All I’ve wanted was someone to pick me. To see me . To choose me.
And, fuck it, to trust me.
With that heavy sword in my hand, he told me he trusted me. And how did I react? I stabbed a demon for him.
How much do you want to bet that, to a male like Glaine, that’s like saying ‘I love you’?
But if he’s been lying to me…
“I fed enough of my essence to the charmed chain to escape it long enough to protect you, my wee mortal. Worry not. I shouldn’t suffer the same effects as the hunter.”
I have no idea what he’s talking about—or what that has to do with anything. “Hunter? What hunter?”
Glaine’s eyes dim slightly. “See? This is why you need my essence. With it, you would know.”
“Or you could just tell me instead of making everything so damn difficult,” I snap.
Sue me. I just stabbed a demon, then watched Glaine finish him off. And while I could pretend he was no better than an animal or some kind of monster human who attacks women from the shadows, I’m still shaky and in no mood to play these games.
Glaine can tell.
“I’m sorry, Billie,” he rumbles, and look at that: he’s not allergic after all. “His name is Nox. A hunter from Nuit. He was put in the dungeon for many human years, but when he sensed his mate in need of him, he fed nearly all of his essence to the chains to escape them. More than he should’ve. Now, he no longer can control his forms. Solid… shadow… he’s lost that power, but gained a mate.” He sets his jaw. “It was worth it for him. If that’s what happens to me, it will also be worth it.”
Oh. Okay, then.
“What if you give more to the chain?” I ask. “Will that break it?”
“For a time. I told you, Billie, and I didn’t lie: there are two ways to break the chain.”
Right. A mage has to remove it—or I have to accept that I am his mate. He bonds his soul to mine, making it so that the first law of Sombra doesn’t apply to us, and the chains will vanish.
Those chains will, but I’ll have a demon-sized shadow that I’ll never be able to get rid of.
Literally.
“No matter how much essence I feed it, they will return. But I can never give it all of my essence because, no matter how long it takes, I will save a drop for you. I will cling to the hope that you will see me as a male worthy of you. That you will take my essence, take my cock, take my seed… take everything I am and accept me as your male.”
My stomach tightens, and no, those aren’t butterflies flapping at the earnest yet determined way he admits that he’s waiting for the day he gets to fuck me. Too bad that sex with a demon comes with a little side effect: that permanent second shadow.
I do my best to ignore that last part. Instead, focusing on what he’s also saying—that the chains being gone is temporary unless I bond him to me. Now, I’m not doing that. I’m still holding out hope that that mage we’re heading to can give us a twofer: taking off the chain and sending me back home.
But I’m still curious about his essence.
“How much do you have now?”
“Enough that, if you accept it, you’ll understand Sombran as if it is your tongue. You’ll know the dangers of my realm without my having to explain them to you.”
Oh, Glaine… you’re a wily demon, aren’t you?
“Won’t the chain stop you from giving it to me?” I get the impression that it’s more to punish the weak mortal and that’s we’re wearing it, but that the charm in the chains does keep him from accessing his demon magic.
“That’s the one thing it can’t do. The magic is tied to our essences, but a Sombra demon’s instincts are more powerful than even that. You are my mate, Billie. My body cries out to share my essence with you. Not even the golden chains will be able to keep it from going where it belongs.”
I glance down. Can’t help it. Thankfully, the chains don’t stop him from covering his lower half in tightly-woven shadowy leather-looking pants, either. Because when he says his body is crying out to give me his essence… that’s not all he wants to give me, I’m betting.
Sex is out. My relationship with my demon kidnapper is already way too complicated for me to satisfy my curiosity when it comes to what he’s packing beneath those shadows. Is he proportionate in size and a monster down there, too? Does he have one cock? Two? Something that buzzes? I’d be lying if I said my imagination hasn’t already run wild when it comes to that, but I quickly stopped that line of thought before Glaines guesses and decides to be helpful and show me. Now I’ve seen the outline of that rogue demon and can answer at least one of those questions…
Essence, Billie. His soul. He already took yours, and he’s offering you his.
Damn it. He’s not wrong. I don’t know what I’m doing, and while I’ve trusted him as much as I can, if I have all of his knowledge about this world, I can be a lot more independent.
Okay.
Let’s do it.
I hold out my hand before I lose the nerve.
Glaine hesitates for a moment, then takes my hand in his huge one. It heats up, then I suck in a breath when a massive electrical shock jolts me.
I yank my hand back as everything he is slams right into me. I stumble, but I stay standing even without his steadying touch on my elbow.
He waits a few moments before asking me, “How do you feel?”
I wish he didn’t sound so concerned. Where’s that forceful, commanding demon who did what he wanted and didn’t care about the repercussions for anyone else? And, true, I got that impression of him after he stole me, but before we could communicate. Suddenly, I know that while the demon soldier is used to being in command, he grabbed me more out of a panic that he would lose me before we ever had the chance.
And how do I know? Because he’s stuffed my head full of his memories and his emotions, the very essence of who Glaine is.
How do I feel? Like I’m hungover. My head is heavy. I don’t like the sensation of not knowing which thought is mine. I’m so used to being the only one in my head and, after a moment to settle, I use every bit of mental strength I have to shove Glaine’s essence to the far back of my mind.
I’m panting by the time I’m done. It’s tough. Harder than killing that demon out of self-defense, and isn’t that something I’m going to unpack when I’m back home and can call my therapist… but I do it, and tapping into my Thr33peat days, I give Glaine a smile that once graced the teenybopper mags.
“Feel great,” I lie, not even caring that he can probably use my essence to tell that I am. “Why?”