Chapter 31
Chapter Thirty-One
T hat night, Grace thought Bryan’s family would never leave. After Jules had departed and most of the town dispersed, Caitriona , Elspeth , and their mother took over cleaning up from the party, while Great Auntie Eilidh parked herself in the living room with Bryan’s father, where she gave a running commentary of everything she liked—and didn’t—about the renovation. Her criticisms were mostly hilarious things like guests would turn lazy, wanting to sit in the sun and read all day , and now there was no escaping the view . Bryan seemed to take it all in stride.
Wes and Eòghann had wandered down the beach together, and Lùcas had gone off with his band. Diego had given Grace the tightest hug ever to make up for all the ones they’d missed, and then he left too, alongside Jules , to catch a flight out with Teàrlach and then back to California . He seemed so sad to be leaving already, but they made plans to meet up in Nashville and Atlanta later in the summer, when his team played out east, and Grace agreed to spend the holidays with him and his family in LA .
She hadn’t realized quite how badly she had needed to see her big brother, and she ached watching him leave again so soon. There had been a brother-sized hole in her heart for so long she was almost surprised she hadn’t bled to death. And what a joy to watch him turn into a kid again, goofing around with his old pals. The excitement in his eyes when Teàrlach promised to let him ride in the cockpit on their way back to Glasgow …
“Need to get back to your manuscript?” Bryan whispered, resting against the counter, one arm around her as she leaned back against his chest, while they watched his irritating family prove their love to him by overstaying their welcome.
She shook her head. “ Turned it in this morning.”
“What? Way to bury the lede, Rios . That’s amazing,” he said, squeezing her tight. “ That means—when do you leave?”
“This weekend,” she said, turning giddily to face him in time to see his eyes grow dark. “ I believe it means I finally have some time to relax,” she said, standing on tiptoe to kiss his bristly cheek.
“Get out,” he roared, and she jumped back, startled, until she realized he was looking at his family, who were staring back at him with more amusement than surprise.
“Please,” he amended ever so politely. “ Thank you for everything. I’ll come for Sunday tea. Now , would you mind heading home?”
“Of course, love,” his mother said, making a sweeping gesture to herd everyone out. “ I’ll cook a field roast with all the trimmings.”
“Need a ride, Grace ?” Caitriona asked, just to be a devil.
“No,” Bryan answered for her, and Cait snickered.
When they were alone at last, Grace said, “ You really know how to clear a room, MacNeil .”
“One of my greatest talents,” he agreed.
“I can’t believe how much you’ve accomplished here. You must be exhausted. If you want to be alone, I can—” she made to follow his family, but he caught her wrist.
For a moment, her brain tried to make her panic. What if he expected too much? What was the point when she was leaving so soon? What if?—
“I haven’t given you your gift yet,” he murmured.
“Oh, you haven’t?” she teased, but he shook his head solemnly and picked up his tablet from the counter behind her.
“Didn’t have time to wrap it,” he said, handing it over.
Puzzled, Grace opened the folio cover and peered down at the screen which lit up with a beautiful picture of a woman standing on a rocky promontory. She glanced up at him in confusion, and he was holding his breath, so she looked back down at the image in her hands. This time she noticed the fancy lettering: Finnbar . The name of his distillery. And then: Grace on the Rocks .
“It’s a label,” she realized aloud.
His face broke into the biggest smile she’d ever seen. “ For my first expression: Grace on the Rocks .”
“It’s me?”
He laughed and nodded. “ Lùc drew it.”
“It’s gorgeous,” she breathed, running her fingers over it as though she could feel the embossed letters through the screen.
He took the tablet back and set it over to the side.
“Five days?” he asked, tilting his head to look into her eyes.
She nodded up at him, having long since kicked off her heels.
“Better make the most of it, then.” He lifted her onto the counter, poofy skirt and all, so she didn’t have to strain her neck looking up. Stepping between her knees, he kissed her softly but hungrily, as his tongue battled against hers like somehow she had set it free.
He ran his hands up and down her arms, causing wave after wave of goosebumps, stroked her cheek, cupped the back of her head, and all the while he kissed her, trailing fire over every nerve ending. When they finally came up for air, he pressed his forehead to hers and asked, “ Is this okay?”
Nodding again, Grace whispered, “ Better than okay. I like it that you’re checking in.” It made her feel so safe, and she needed him to know that. “ What’s uh… next?” she asked hesitantly.
Bryan peered at her intently, and then he said, “ Lady’s choice. We could watch a movie? Or make a fire?”
Five different ideas of things they could do flitted through Grace’s head one after another, none of them so tame as building a campfire, but she refused to panic. They had all night and five tomorrows. And right now, she had a pretty good idea.
“Is there any champagne left?” she asked before she could chicken out.
Smiling, Bryan reached over her head and into the cabinet for a glass.
She stilled his arm.
“Something that won’t shatter on tile.”
His eyebrows shot up, intrigued, but he rummaged around until he found an old plastic cup emblazoned with the Celtic football logo and filled it with champagne.
“You owe me a bubble bath,” she explained, in case her intention wasn’t clear.
“Do you need reading material?” he offered as he led her to the bathroom.
“That would be rude to my companion,” she said.
“I didn’t want to assume.”
“I think you very much wanted to,” she teased, skimming her gaze down his front as though she could see a hard-on, and delighting in the flush that tinged his cheeks above his beard.
She leaned against the wall, admiring the way his kilt rose up in the back as he bent to run the water.
“Bubbles?” he asked, glancing over his shoulder and catching her appreciative stare. His eyes heated.
“Absolutely bubbles,” she agreed, lifting her cup of champagne courage in mock salute.
After adding a generous amount of bubble bath to the running water, he turned her around to help with the zipper of her beautiful dress, his fingers skimming softly over her skin in a trail of fire.
“Are you certain?” he asked, holding the dress for her to step out of it, as she used his shoulders for balance.
Grace hung the purple masterpiece from a hook on the door and turned back to untuck his shirt from his kilt, finally nodding in answer to his question. “ I’m certain,” she said softly.
“You’ll tell me if you change your mind?”
She practically melted into a puddle right there, but she managed to whisper, “ Promise ,” before sliding into the bath and leaning forward so Bryan could slip in behind her.
For the longest time, they sat back to chest and just held each other in the warm, lilac-scented water. Grace’s heart was beating too fast, and she kept having to remind herself to breathe, but the water was relaxing and she wanted this. She felt the panic creep in and threaten her with its old black fog when she realized his erection was digging into her back, but she forced herself to lean forward and take a long swig of champagne. When she leaned back again, he had adjusted himself and her breathing began to level out.
“Thank you for editing my speech,” he finally whispered into her hair before planting a kiss on the side of her neck.
“It wasn’t presumptuous?” she asked.
“Not even a little. I hadn’t thought about using easier words.”
“It’s normally how you talk, without really thinking about it, I guess.”
“Thanks for noticing, then. And for encouraging me.”
“I’ll never stop encouraging you,” she said, tipping her chin down to kiss the arm he’d thrown around her. “ Thank you for giving me my quinceanera.”
“Double quinceanera. It wasn’t… presumptuous?”
“Maybe a little.”
“It was all Wesley’s idea.”
She laughed. “ I loved it.”
“Completely, one hundred percent my idea.”
“I can’t believe you got Diego to come.”
“It took very little convincing. What was your favorite part?” he asked.
“Your speech, obviously.”
“The one part you had a hand in.” He tickled her ribs.
“Okay, okay. Your speech and that dress.” She glanced to the hook where her childhood dream hung in satin and taffeta reality. “ I’m going to need an extra suitcase so I can wear it to all my book signings.”
“Would you really?”
“MacNeil, I’m going to volunteer to chaperone prom from now on, just so I can wear that dress at least once a year for the rest of my life.”
He snuggled into her neck. “ I’m glad you liked it.”
“No one ever did anything like that for me before. And my friends have done some pretty incredible, sneaky shit.”
“I’d like to meet them— Andy , Beatrix , Jack , Rebecca , and Sadie .”
The way he listed them off in alphabetical order… “ You read my author’s note,” she said, trying not to choke on the emotion bubbling out of her like so much champagne, realizing he’d finished her book and kept going, realizing he was saying he didn’t want this all to end in five days.
“I would read anything you wrote,” he whispered, kissing the place where her neck met her shoulder and sending a shiver down her spine.
“Deal,” she agreed, and he held her tighter. “ This is a pretty great tub.”
“Is it?” he asked absently, kissing down the back of her neck again.
“Really ties the room together.”
“You saw the potential of what it could be.”
She held up her palm. “ I’m getting pruny.”
Bryan matched it against his larger hand and then laced his fingers through hers. With her other hand she followed the pattern of his tattoo.
“Wes bought me a vibrator,” she said, and he barked out a surprised laugh.
“She’s an unusual friend.”
“Everyone should be so lucky.”
“No argument from me. Any revelations?”
“One or two.”
He ran his fingers lazily down her side and towards her hip.
“Does it not bother you?” she asked hesitantly.
When Wes had recommended toys in college, Grace had been tempted, but her boyfriend had thrown the world’s largest hissy fit. Using a vibrator is the same as cheating , he’d complained, shaming her into changing her mind.
“Not even a little,” Bryan assured her. “ Maybe one day you can teach me what you learned?” he asked cautiously, and she nodded. “ I look forward to it,” he murmured.
Grace turned around then, straddling his lap, and for a moment, she outlined his fine lips with her thumb before capturing them with her own, losing herself in the swirl of heat and sensation, kissing until the bathwater turned tepid and they abandoned the tub for his bed.
Once stretched out facing each other in his soft, clean sheets, however, Grace lost some of the bravado she’d found in the tub.
“You are truly breathtaking,” he said, and she hid her face shyly in the pillow. “ Rios , I mean it.” He took her hand away from her face and interlaced their fingers once more. “ Breathtaking .”
“I don’t know what to do now,” she admitted.
“Lady’s choice,” he reminded her, cupping her face in his hands and looking deep into her eyes before kissing her again. “ Don’t overthink it,” he breathed.
“What if I can’t?”
“It’ll still be fun,” he promised. “ Our deadlines are over. There’s no goals here. Only pleasure.”
No braggadocios, Challenge accepted, baby. I can make you come. Just pure acceptance of time spent together, joy in the companionship and whatever else they got up to, without an end goal.
“That’s a novel concept for an overachiever.”
“I believe in you,” he whispered, grinning at her with a mischievous twinkle in his eye.
Grace traced the Celtic bee on his forearm once more, back and forth in a soothing sort of way. “ You know when we first met, I called you Mr . Bee in my head.”
He chuckled at that and made a buzzing sound before kissing her earlobe.
“Did you get this because your family took away your B ?”
He tilted his head in surprise and then rolled onto his back, bending his arm up at the elbow so they could both see the tattoo. “ Maybe a little,” he said, like it actually surprised him to realize it.
She snuggled closer, still fingering his tattoo, and he took a breath.
“When I was about seven, there was a bumblebee on the playground. Its wing was damaged after a kid gave it a good whack with their workbook. Couldn’t fly and they wanted to step on it, but I got it into my lunchbox and took it to Grandad’s .”
“It didn’t sting you?” Grace asked.
“I was the Crocodile Hunter , remember? Anyway , Grandad found me an old cigar box. The hinge was broken, so it wouldn’t close, and we filled it with moss and rocks and planted a few fragrant flowers. There was even a little tin can filled with water.”
“You had a pet bee.” Her heart was officially a melted puddle of warmth. She really could not love him more.
“I did. Called him Brandon .”
“Brandon the Bee ,” she cooed.
“Aye. Took him outside every day for sunshine. Kept his flowers fresh. I think he was happy in his little cigar box home.”
“Your first renovation,” she said, and he laughed out loud. God , she could get used to the sound of the Stoic Scot laughing.
“Grew rather obsessed with saving the bees after that. Much to the annoyance of the neighbors.”
Grace didn’t know what to say, so she raised up and kissed his tattoo. Bryan brushed the hair out of her eyes and ran his thumb down her chin, drawing her up to his lips for another kiss, long and sweet.
“Will you touch me?” she finally asked.
“It would be my absolute pleasure,” he whispered, leaning over to kiss her as he spidered his fingers softly down her neck and along each breast, making her breath change each time he brushed in an unexpected direction.
He smoothed his hands over her belly, along her bottom, cupping her in a way that caused heat to build within her, and then traced the rim of her hip around to the sensitive inside of her thigh.
He touched her everywhere until she was almost rocking with desire, teasing her until she hesitantly guided his hand between her legs.
“Needy,” he whispered, grinning as he tugged at the tight, bath-damp curls for a moment before moving back up to her breasts, determined to make her squirm.
As her need grew, he made more frequent trips down, dipping in with lube and then frustratingly away, until finally he gave her what she wanted, stroking her clit lightly until she bucked hard against his hand in gasping, panting breaths.
Just when she didn’t think she could stand another second of friction, he removed his finger and drew her close against him as she curled in and buried her face against his neck.
“Look at me,” she whispered.
“Look at you,” he replied, and she didn’t mind the obvious grin in his voice as he kissed the top of her head and drew the covers up over them both.
She had achieved the same results alone in her hotel room, but surrendering control and giving herself over to every sensation while Bryan took care of her made it one hundred times more tantalizing and more intense.
“What about you?” she finally asked once she recovered enough to remember this wasn’t only about her.
“What about me?” he asked as though he didn’t have a care in the world or a rock-hard erection pressed against her belly.
She drew her own fingers down his chest through the soft hair that led directly south and took a firm grasp of his silky length.
He exhaled hard. “ Lady’s choice,” he gasped again.
Grace wasn’t sure what her choice would be. She’d given fumbling, exhausting hand jobs and painfully awkward blow jobs out of obligation more than once. In those situations in the past, lady ’ s choice would honestly have been to let him ache until his balls turned blue because it was all too difficult to discuss.
“What do you like?” she asked, running her fingers idly up and down. She enjoyed the way it made him gasp and jerk a little, but he caught her wrist, stilling her touch.
“Depends.”
“On what?”
“Whether you’re going to want to use it later.”
“Oh,” she said, withdrawing her hand.
“Either is fine. Or neither. I can wait,” he assured her, bringing her palm to his lips and then kissing each knuckle.
He scooched back, putting a little space between their bodies, not enough to make her feel cold, just enough to tuck himself away. Then he kissed her cheek, her neck, her lips.
As her mind started to descend into another puddle of desire, she debated with herself. She hadn’t planned on using it , as he so eloquently put it, but she hadn’t planned on not using it either. In fact, she very much wanted to eventually, and the longer she waited, the more she built it up in her brain, the harder it would be. No pun intended.
He probably wouldn’t feel flattered to know she kept thinking about it like ripping off a bandage, but the thing was, she felt totally safe with him. If she wasn’t enjoying it, she knew they could stop—no harm, no foul. So why not try?
“I can literally hear you thinking, Rios ,” he whispered as he kissed down her neck, trying to draw her out of her head. “ Don’t talk yourself into anything on my account.”
He skimmed a palm over her breast and then traced the underside, making her spasm.
“If we started and I didn’t like it?” she whispered, finding and running her thumb over his tip so his whole body convulsed as hers had just done.
“There’s no rush,” he gasped, leaning up to distract her by circling her nipple with his tongue, and for a minute, she forgot what they’d been talking about.
“But if I wanted to? And then I didn’t?” she panted when he finally stopped licking.
“NASA can scrub a launch,” he whispered, and she laughed. “ If NASA can do it, we can to. At far less expense.”
She laughed again. That was new. She’d never laughed in bed before.
“Would it help if you’re on top, so you don’t feel trapped?” he suggested.
Grace had never thought of trying that before, either, of riding him to her own fulfillment.
“Which lube do you think is best?” she asked.
“Let’s see.”
She squeezed a little from the bottle he’d used earlier, and he ran it between is fingers.
“We know this one’s good.”
She giggled and took out the second bottle, giving him a drop on a different finger.
“Too watery. Any more?” he asked, an amused tone to his voice.
So she squirted out the synthetic kind that couldn’t be used with the vibrator.
“This one, definitely,” he said. “ If you’re certain.”
Grace nodded. “ You really don’t care if I need help getting wet?” she whispered.
Bryan rubbed down her back and along her bottom. “ What’s there to be bothered about?” he asked. “ Should I mind if you need glasses to read or antihistamines to breathe through your nose? Breathe , by the way,” he added, kissing her cheek, and she did then in a sort of gasp.
Bryan rolled onto his back, and she kissed him hard, as he put on a condom. Then she squirted the lube into her palm to prepare him.
“Wait.” He caught her arm and lube trickled onto his belly. She looked at him fearfully, and he laughed pushing up on his elbows to kiss her. “ I’ve gone about this all wrong,” he babbled. “ I ought to have told you already— I love you, Graciela Rios Rivera . No matter if we do this right now, or if we never do it in the trad-itional way, no matter if you ever orgasm again, no matter if you decide I’m rubbish in bed?—”
Grace laughed, because that was ridiculous.
“No matter if you leave in five days. Christ knows I’m no good with words, but you—you’re not my puzzle to solve, you’ve somehow found all my missing, faded, dog-chewed pieces and made them fit together again—made me fit back here again. Gave me back my home. You’re everything to me. I love you, and I love being with you. In fancy dresses or wearing flannel on the roof, watching the footy and sunsets, and when you’re snarky as all hell. You make me able to see my way clear to becoming the person I always wanted to, and I just thought?—”
Grabbing his length with both hands, Grace kissed him to stifle his groan. Her heart was so full if it were a balloon, it would be in danger of bursting. When she raised up to slide onto him, he gasped.
“It… it needed to be sssaid,” he finally finished, and she hoped he knew she loved him too.
Because right then, she couldn’t say it.
Right then it hurt way too much. She couldn’t have said anything if she tried.
The happy tears, already so close to the surface, instantly turned to despair and she fought to hold them in as she breathed through the pain.
Beneath her, Bryan froze. “ Rios ?” he asked softly, shifting himself to pull out.
“It’ll pass,” she gasped, trying to stop him. She knew from experience it wouldn’t get better, but if she was lucky, she might go a bit numb.
Bryan held still except for one hand rubbing her back while she caught her breath, and after several excruciating minutes she tried to grind on him, to seek her own pleasure, but she bit her lip to stifle a grimace. Despite all his promises that they could stop, she didn’t want to be a total cocktease. Not now. She had wanted so desperately for it to work.
He’d seen it, though. He tipped himself to the side and slid out, flaccid. Ironically , the friction of him withdrawing had felt kind of nice.
“It’s okay to cry if you need to,” he murmured, bending his neck to try and look her in the eye.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, her voice cracking and a tear finally leaking out to trickle down his chest, as she laid there, still straddling him, too embarrassed to dismount.
Bryan kissed her cheek. “ What did we say about apologizing?”
“I just don’t want you to be disappointed in me.”
“I could never be disappointed in you.”
“I’m disappointed in me!”
He stroked her hair and said, “ Well , I’m not surprised. You’re a very tough critic.”
That made her sort of laugh-sob. “ I just thought?—”
He shook his head, unwilling to allow her to feel badly about this. “ We have so much time.”
She shook hers too, beyond frustrated. “ I know but…”
“No goals, remember? We’ve had a lovely time.”
“Well I have, but you…”
“I’ve been exactly where I wanted to be.”
He kissed her again, deeply. Even if he was just being gallant, his words turned her insides to warm butter. But she was still disappointed.
“It’s my birthday,” she whined.
“It is,” he smirked.
“What?” she asked, trying not to pout.
He nodded. “ Nature has a way of figuring things out.”
“What do you mean?” she asked, flustered and frustrated and he nodded again, towards their lower parts, where she realized she had been grinding against him like a bad puppy.
She was aching with need, and she realized he was growing rigid once more, as his breaths became shallow.
“Really?” she asked, he nodded, running a hand up her side to tease her breast.
“Ride me like that much longer, Rios , and there won’t be anything left to ride.”
It certainly wasn’t traditional, as she ground against him without actually taking him back inside, but he didn’t seem to mind as he kissed her ferociously. She lost all sense of time and place, giving herself over to warm, hungry kisses and the heated tingle building, building, building in her core.
Finally, he whispered, “ Apologies , my darling, but I’m going to,” and then he slipped his hand between them to fondle her clit as she rocked with him until his spine went rigid and he jerked against her. Her climax was only seconds behind his, and then she collapsed on his chest in blindingly sated delight.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered again as they lay cuddled close together.
“If you keep apologizing, I may have to?—”
“To what?” She sat up, looking down at him feeling vaguely heated by the almost-threat.
He shrugged saucily and kissed her.
“But I am sorry I couldn’t…”
“Rios. You came twice for me. I came very hard. We’re all winners here tonight.”
“I know, but I feel like I let one of us down.”
“Well, then one of us had their expectations misaligned.”
Oh. When he put it that way… Not too high , as though P in V , as Wes liked to call it, was the pinnacle they should be striving for, a height they’d failed to reach. But simply misaligned. She liked this new perspective. She liked it very much.
“We can try again, if it’s that important to you.”
“We do have five days,” she agreed, but then melancholy overwhelmed her. “ I don’t want to go home.”
“Don’t. Stay here and make whisky with me. Write your next book.”
She sighed. “ Wouldn’t that be the dream?”
He kissed her head and stroked her back. “ You don’t have to decide now. We have five whole days.”