Chapter 146
Freddie gave me a nod, then pulled open the door that would lead backstage. We started to walk down the hall, and I paused at the stagehand poker game that looked like it was on its last hand.
“He’s bluffing, Violet,” I said, as we passed. “Not a single face card.”
“Who asked you?” Van said, his face turning slowly red.
“Wait, what?” Violet called after me. But I just gave her a quick smile as Freddie pulled the greenroom door open for me and I stepped inside.
Doug and Alfie were already dressed in their Eton Mess outfits, and both had clearly done something to their hair.
Alfie’s was styled in a swoop across his forehead, whereas Doug had gelled his up into tiny spikes.
Alfie sipped a Dr Pepper, and he smiled cheerfully when Freddie came in the room.
I still couldn’t help but wince, thinking about what was going to befall him, and in pretty short order, too.
“Hi, guys, this is Cass,” Freddie said, gesturing to me.
“I know,” Doug said in his real accent. He grinned at me. “How’s it going?”
“You know Doug?” Freddie asked, sounding surprised. “I mean, Tristram?”
“We met on the Ferris wheel,” I said, giving Doug a nod.
“She knew I was from Chicago,” Doug said, grabbing a small bag of chips from the craft services table. “It was really impressive.”
Alfie shot him a look. “Was this when you were wearing your shirt that literally said Chicago on it? Think that might have tipped her off?” he said this in a British accent, then turned to me, his face brightening.
“Wait, if you know Doug is really American, does that mean I can go back to being Australian?”
I smiled at him. “Go for it.”
“Oh thank goodness,” he said, relaxing into his accent, his vowels immediately getting more stretched out and relaxed. “That’s better, isn’t it?”
“So,” I said, glancing at the wall clock, realizing just how much we had to figure out before showtime. “Alfie.”
He gave me a smile. “Yeah?”
“You can’t play tonight.”
“I—What?” he looked from me to Freddie. “Naur. Are you having a laugh?”
“Nope,” I said, shaking my head. “You’re going to get food poisoning onstage. It’s the prawns.”
“But I feel fine.”
“You’re not going to be fine, mate,” Freddie said grimly. “We’re trying to save you from being turned into a meme.”
“Am I going to get food poisoning, too?” Doug asked, looking panicked.
“Uh—I don’t think so,” I said, thrown by this. “Did you eat any of the shrimp?” Doug shook his head. “Then I think you’re good.”
“But how can you know—” Alfie said, just as the door flew open again and Niall swanned in.
Like the others, he was now in his full Eton Mess look, a messenger bag slung across his chest. His hair had been tousled, in a way that I was sure was supposed to look accidental, but that I had a feeling had taken a great amount of effort to achieve.
“Well, hello,” he said, giving me a wide smile that didn’t come close to meeting his eyes. “I didn’t know we had guests.”
“That’s Cass,” Freddie said. But he wasn’t looking at me—he was looking at Niall, like he was appraising him. And I just silently hoped that he’d believe—as painful as it might be—that this was not someone he should trust. “She’s a friend of mine.”
I saw Niall clock my Grad Nite wristband, and when he looked back at me, it was with his usual dismissiveness.
“Well, isn’t that nice,” he said, as he dropped his messenger bag at his feet.
“But we actually have to get ready to do our show. It’s an important one, right?
” He directed this at Freddie. It was meant to sound excited, but I heard the bite under it—and judging by Freddie’s expression, he did too.
“So—Cassie, right? Why don’t you run along and go get a nice spot out front.
” He pushed the door open wider and looked at me expectantly.
Alfie cleared his throat. “Well—Cass said I actually can’t play. That I’m going to get food poisoning?”
Niall frowned. “How can she know that?”
“I mean, he did eat shrimp from a strip mall,” Doug said, with a shrug. “Maybe it’s just logic.”
“Of course you’re going to play,” Niall said, waving this off. “It’ll be fine. Freddie, you’ve got to hurry, mate. You’re not even dressed yet. Chop, chop.”
Freddie met my eyes. And for a moment, I wasn’t sure what he would do—which side he would choose. Would he just want to believe it wasn’t true? After all, he’d known Niall for years—and I was just someone that he’d met an hour ago, showing up with a list and a crazy story.
“You’re right,” Freddie finally said to Niall, and I felt my heart constrict. After all that I’d done to try and fix this, it was going to fall apart, when we were almost to the finish line. “I should get ready.”
I looked between him and Niall, not sure what to say. I’d told Freddie everything—and he just hadn’t believed me. I could know everything that was going to happen—all the events of the night—but I couldn’t know someone’s heart.
“Really?” I asked Freddie, my voice strangled. “That’s—what you want to do?”
“Well, he does have to get ready,” Doug said. “It’s really not that big a deal?”
Freddie turned away from me and looked at Niall. “I wanted to go over the chord change on ‘Summer Term,’” he said. “I think we’re taking it too slowly. Also, mind if I have this water?”
He was reaching into the messenger bag before Niall could stop him, pulling out a plastic bottle. I saw Niall’s face pale. “No—that’s—mine.”
“There’s more on the table,” Freddie said, pointing to it.
“Exactly,” Niall said with a laugh he wasn’t quite pulling off. “So grab one of those. You don’t want to drink too much before we go on, you know,” he said, talking faster now. “Maybe just save that bottle and wait until it’s closer to showtime. Drink it then.”
Freddie nodded. “It’s a good call.” Then he met my eye and gave me the tiniest of smiles. “Here you go, Cass,” he said, holding the water bottle out to me.
“What? No—” Niall started, but before he could intervene, I took the bottle from him, opened it up, and took a long drink.
“Mmm,” I said, lowering the bottle, and giving Freddie a smile. “That’s good. Refreshing. Kind of tastes like there’s cucumber in it.”
The drumsticks that Doug was holding clattered to the ground, and I heard Alfie draw in a shocked breath. “What?” Niall said, looking very pale now. “That wasn’t—I don’t know what she’s on about….”
“Cass said that you were going to try and wreck my night,” Freddie said quietly, and I could hear the hurt running through his voice like a seam. “That you were going to put something in my water.”
“How did you know that?” Niall exploded, turning to me. “There’s no way that—” He stopped short, only seeming to realize a second later what he’d just said. “I mean,” he said with a short laugh. “There wasn’t…That was my water.”
Alfie shook his head, looking appalled. “I always knew you were a jumped-up bogan. But this is too much, man. What’s wrong with you?”
“Yeah, you’re not playing with us tonight,” Doug said, his eyebrows furrowed. “You were going to poison our bass player? Dude.”
“He was going to leave!” Niall yelled, pointing at Freddie.
His hair was falling across his forehead, and his face was turning red.
He no longer looked like the cute guy on the posters, pouting at the camera.
He looked ugly and small. “There’s a manager coming to see him tonight, did he tell you that?
And he’s going to leave this band, and all of us, behind.
” Niall looked around at his bandmates, like he’d just thrown down a trump card.
But both of them turned to Freddie, smiling.
“You did?” Alfie asked. “That’s dardy, mate, congratulations.”
“How are you getting more Australian?” Freddie asked, but he was smiling, too.
“Seriously, that’s awesome,” Doug agreed.
“You’re not mad?” Niall sputtered. “That he’s leaving us behind?”
“You kidding?” Doug asked. “I’m over this band—I’ve been over it for a while now. If Freddie can get out and do his own music—I mean, isn’t that the point of this? Why would I want to hold him back?”
“Thanks, Doug,” Freddie said quietly.
Niall looked around at them, and it was like I could practically feel his fury building.
“Fine,” he snapped. “Who needs you? I’m done.
” He paused and looked around, like he was waiting for someone to beg him to stay.
When this didn’t happen, his face got even redder and he let out a short, mean laugh. “You think you can perform without me?”
“I think they’ll be fine,” I said, trying to sound more confident than I felt.
Niall whirled around to face me, his eyes narrowed. “You. This is all your fault, isn’t it? Messing with my band…”
“It’s not your band.” I made myself stand up straight, and looked him right in the eye.
“And I’ve watched you make this same choice, over and over again.
Always this path, the one where you hurt someone who thinks of you as a friend.
I don’t know if it’s that you’re scared, or jealous, or just cruel…
” Niall shook his head and scoffed. “But our choices matter, you…” I looked over at Artie. “What did you call him?”
“A jumped-up bogan,” he said. “Because he is.”
“Right, that,” I said. “If there’s one thing I’ve learned, this is it—we are the choices we make. They’re what define us. And sometimes—if we’re lucky—we get a chance to make different ones. But you never did.”
Niall just blinked at me for a moment, then shook his head. “Whatever,” he scoffed. “I’m out. Good luck without me, losers!”
He pushed the door open hard as he walked out, and it banged against the wall with a sound that made us all jump.
“Okay, that was a lot,” Alfie said, shaking his head. “Good riddance to bad rubbish.”
“Totally,” Doug agreed. “But…what are we going to do without a lead singer?”
“Freddie can do it,” I said. “Right?”
Freddie gave me a smile, then looked around at his bandmates. “I mean, if you guys are okay with that…”
“Perfect,” Doug said, picking up his drum sticks and twirling them. “And I know that you’re not going to step on my downbeat like Niall always did.”
“But wait,” Alfie said. “If I can’t go on, we’re just going to have bass and drums. And I’m really not sure that’s going to work.”
I shook my head. “It’s not. You really need a third instrument in there.”
The remainder of Eton Mess looked at each other, and I saw Freddie’s shoulders slump. “So that means—we need to find another musician? In an hour?” I could tell by his tone he thought this was impossible.
Silence fell in the greenroom. Then I took a breath and stepped forward. “Will I do?”