Chapter 11
ELEVEN
Nina
Ipull my tattered blanket up over my head and press play on my iPod. It’s not mine. It’s my best friend, Lucy’s. She said she would be in trouble for giving it to me, but she thought it might drown out the shouting.
I call it shouting, but I think it’s something else. It sounds like a strangled cry, grunts and groans that seep through the thin walls of our damp house.
She tells me to stay in my room, not to leave until she comes to get me, but she never comes. And I never leave. Afraid that whatever is on the other side of the door will get me into trouble, or worse, take her away from me again. My mummy is all I have, and they already tried to take me once.
I squeeze my eyes shut as the banging starts. Rough groans and deep grunts flow past the music. Is she in pain? Should I help her?
A rush of cool liquid runs from my nose, pooling on the seam of my lips. I dab it with my finger finding blood.
Why is my nose bleeding…?
In a panic, I do something silly. Something I know I shouldn’t.
I run for my mother. “Mummy, Mummy.” I push open her door, standing on the threshold unable to move, unable to look away.
What is he doing to my mummy? His eyes find me first, a grim smile taking over his face as he stands behind her, hitting into her bottom.
“Get rid of the little fucker!” he shouts, making me flinch.
My mother’s eyes flare wide when she sees me. “Nina! Go now. What are you doing?”
Oh no, she’s mad at me.
“My nose.”
I wipe my nose with the back of my hand, but it comes away clean. I frown at the paleness of my bony hand. My eyes lift back to my mother’s, but before they can find hers, a strong, calloused fist connects with my face.
“Nina!” My mother’s voice rings out as everything fades to black.
“Nina!”
“Nina!”
“Nina!”
Mason?
Mase
Tortured cries have me bolting upright in bed. I gave up on Nina letting me in after she locked me out, and her soft cries haunted me for hours after as I sat outside her door, waiting until I was sure she was asleep.
But now she’s crying again, and it’s not the same cries as before. It’s a tormented shrill. She sounds in pain.
I jolt from the bed, my head working faster than my body, causing me to stumble to the floor in my haste. I run down the hall and try the handle, knowing it will be locked.
“Nina! Open the door!” I shout, slapping my hand on the wood. “Are you okay? Are you hurt?”
Nothing.
“Nina!” I continue to rap my knuckles on the wood.
A broken wail seeps from the room, and the fear in her cries wrap around my throat, threatening to strangle me.
“What the fuck?” I pull on the handle, trying to force it open.
“Nina. Please just open the door!” I shout, punching the plaster surround. “Fuck!”
I let my head fall to the door, feeling at a loss as she continues to cry.
I hear a thud followed by a howl, a chilling, blood-curdling sound that has me taking two steps back.
Panic fills me, feeling unhinged at my lack of control.
I square my shoulders, lunging into the door and taking the lock clean off the wall.
The plush carpet breaks my fall, but I barely touch the ground before I’m around the bed and kneeling at her feet.
She’s curled into herself, arms wrapped protectively around her knees.
“Nina,” I rasp, my chest rising and falling rapidly.
“Nina, baby.”
I reach out to touch her, and her eyes snap to mine. Red-rimmed and wild, pure fear etched on her beautiful face. “Nina,” I frown. “It’s okay. I’m here.”
Her body shakes uncontrollably, dripping in sweat. I try to grasp the blanket she’s holding from her hands, but she grips it tighter, flinching as I retract my hand.
What the fuck?
“The blood. So much blood,” she mutters, sounding crazed.
I start to search her body but fail to find any blood.
“Nina, you’re not bleeding. There is no blood. I’m here, it’s me, Mase,” I say softly, unsure as to what I should do.
She squeezes her eyes tight, opening and closing them until her wary eyes find me. “Mase?” she asks.
“Yes, I’m here.” I grab her, seizing the opportunity whilst she lets me. “Fucking hell.” My heart hammers in my chest as I sit on the floor, holding her tight. Her body is slick with sweat, her hair damp.
“Mase,” she cries, fisting my T-shirt and burrowing deeper into my chest. She breaks down in my arms.
For the first time I see her distinctively. No barrier, no wall, just raw, unfiltered pain—it’s what I wanted, right?
More than just her body.
“Nina, I’m going to get you in the shower. Is that okay?”
“Why? The blood?” She panics.
“No, no blood. You’re just really hot.”
“Okay.”
She looks up at me, my chest aching with the hurt in her eyes.
God, this is all my fault.
Why did I bring up that shit with her mum?
I lift her in my arms, carrying her to the en suite. I don’t put her down, walking in the shower with her locked tight in my arms. I reach in and turn on the spray, sitting with my back to the wall as the warm water runs over her.
She lies broken in my arms.
My beautiful broken Pixie.
“He hit me,” she whispers after a few minutes of silence.
“Who?” I demand, fighting to keep my voice steady.
“I don’t know. I never knew their names, but he hit me. At least, I think he did.”
Rage flits through my every orifice, every organ, every single nerve, burning with white-hot rage. I take a deep breath, knowing I can’t be mad right now, pushing it to the back of my mind until I can use it to unleash. And I will.
“Nina, it was just a nightmare. It wasn’t real. I’m here now.” I lift her chin, bringing her face to mine.
Her eyes lack the light that shone in them just hours ago.
“You hurt me.”
I close my eyes. Shit. “I’m so sorry, Nina,” I force out, fuming at myself. I’m such a prick. “I didn’t mean what I said.”
“Please leave me alone,” she states, eyes lost.
“You think I’d fucking leave you alone right now?”
“You leave, or I will.”
“Let me help you.” I try to hug her tighter, but she climbs from my lap, crawling to the other end of the shower.
“Please,” she begs. “I need to be on my own right now.”
Fuck. It takes everything inside me to stand and move my feet to the door, praying it’s the right thing to do.
I go back to my room, shedding my wet clothes from my body and launching them at the TV as my anger surfaces. Sitting down on the edge of my bed, I run my hands through my hair with absolutely no idea how to fix the fractured soul I can’t seem to figure out.
Nina
Climbing from the shower floor, I drag myself up and under the spray, washing my body clean, wishing I could erase the images in my head.
Maybe I should have let Mason hold me, but for all the reasons I wanted him to, there were twice as many as to why I didn’t.
He believes that to care is to know everything, all the things I would have told him if he had just asked.
He’s wrong. You can care for someone and not know their secrets, exactly how I did for him.
He took what he wanted without asking, which I could have got over—I was prepared to swallow my dignity and take his controlling nature in my stride. But that was before he trampled on my pride.
His words were the beginning of the end. He doesn’t get to hurt me, especially when he doesn’t even know me.
No amount of digging will expose the reality that lives with me.
Once I’m dried off, I wrap myself in a towel and leave the bathroom. I find Mason sitting on his bed, his head in his hands. His hair spiked out all over the place.
He means well, love, he’s not a bad bloke.
I push Vinny’s words from my head.
What I would give to go to him, to let him hold me like before, and to let him tell me it’s all okay.
It’s not okay.
His head comes up as I step into view, his sad eyes meeting mine, and a sick part of me silently pleads that he doesn’t let me go.
Don’t give up on me, Mase.
His eyes scan my towel-clad body. “Will you stay tonight? It’s late. I can take you home first thing.”
“I want to go home.”
“I know.” He drops his head again. “But I need you to stay.”
My twisted heart beats for his words, his need. “That’s not fair. Don’t put that on me.”
“Nina, please. I didn’t mean what I said, I just wanted you to let me in.”
“Let you in? Do you even hear yourself, Mason? You couldn’t even tell me where you were going last night.
You took what you wanted and left me alone with your friends.
Are you going to let me in? Tell me? Or should I have you looked up?
Just take the information without any regard or thought for your feelings? ”
The razor-sharp cut of his jaw flexes at my words, and he pushes his hair off his face as he stands, quickly closing the distance between us.
My heart lurches in my chest as I hold my breath, already afraid of what he will say.
Choose your words, Mason. Don’t get this wrong.
“I took what I wanted, and I make no apologies for that. You want to know where I was last night?” he asks, looking down his nose at me. “My father likes a drink. My sister, Scarlet, struggles to help him through what I can imagine is fucking hell. It’s no big secret, Nina.”
He throws his arms out wide, stepping away from me. “Anything else you want to know?”
“He’s an alcoholic too?” I mutter, surprised.
His features tighten, his face contorting into a frown. “What? No. My father is nothing like your mother.”
I blink slowly, dumbfounded as I step back from him. “You’re really fucking bad at this.”
He tips his head to the ceiling, blowing out a breath. “Nina, please. Can you just stay the night? We can talk about this tomorrow. Please, I’m fucking this up.”
“I’m going home. And I wouldn’t worry, there is nothing to fuck up.” I go to his en suite and find my clothes.
He’s hot on my heels, anger radiating from every inch of him. “Fucking fine! But I’m driving you.”
“I’ll call a taxi,” I shout back, searching for my dress. “Where are my things?”
He points to the door. “The wardrobe. I’m driving you home.”