Chapter 24
TWENTY-FOUR
Mase
Sold.
That’s what my email told me when I checked this morning. Cara sold the studio overnight, and the locks were changed this morning.
A sick feeling fills my gut all day, knowing there’s no going back.
I’ve sold her studio. To think last night she completely gave herself to me, and I took it.
It’s early afternoon when the call comes. The call I’ve been waiting for, but now that it’s here, and she needs me, I don’t answer. Instead, I watch as it rings out and goes to voicemail.
My body is at war with itself. The need to know where she is and that she is okay is overwhelming, but the coward in me wants to stay far away.
I did what had to be done.
Fuck.
Nina
After calling Mason, Lucy and Megan with no luck, I knew there was only one other person I had left. I breathe out a sigh of relief as Maggie passes me a cup of tea, joining me on her sofa.
As soon as I called, she left work, telling her boss she was leaving for a family emergency whilst I was still on the phone.
Family, she had said.
“What am I going to do, Mags? I barely scrape through each month as it is. I won’t afford my apartment without the studio and the loans. How will I make this month’s payment?”
She reaches over and takes my hand in hers, giving me a look. “Well, that’s enough of that. You know me and John would never see you struggle, darling.”
“I can’t rely on you guys again. You’ve already done too much.”
“We will be the judge of that. Now, where are you with the lease on the apartment? Can you ask for a month’s grace until you find your feet again?”
I worry my lip. I haven’t told Maggie about Mase yet. She knows I have a boyfriend but not how deep I’ve gotten myself involved. I drop my head, staring into my mug. “I’m living with Mason. I haven’t slept in my apartment since I got back from Paris.”
Her hand leaves mine, and she lowers her tea to the coffee table. “You’re living together?” Her smile widens in approval. She looks happy for me.
“Kind of.” I shrug.
“You didn’t say anything! Nina, this is wonderful news. You’re happy?” she questions.
“I’m so happy. He cares for me, maybe more than anyone ever has.”
I look down at my lap as I think about his beautiful face, the way he smiles unashamedly when he’s with me. I know I’m lucky; I get the Mase nobody else gets to see.
“Well, that’s impossible,” she whispers.
I lift my eyes to hers as her voice cracks, finding tears welling in her eyes. “Why are you crying?” I ask.
“My dear girl, you have so much love, so much ambition and drive. I have told you a million times over how proud we all are of you, and you still don’t see it.
You’re more than we could have ever hoped you to be.
To see you happy and finally letting someone in—because you sure as hell never let me in,” she teases. “It just makes a mother very happy.”
“Mags.” I look to the ceiling trying to stop the tears.
Maggie has always been the mother I wished I had, and with that comes guilt.
“I know, I’m not helping. Get the laptop, darling. I will look up spaces for rent whilst you call the bank.”
I climb to my knees and lean down, cuddling her, feeling grateful to have a woman like her in my life.
We found nothing. Everything was either too expensive or not suitable and would need a ton of work.
There are a couple of warehouses outside the city, but I know the girls won’t travel that far for rehearsals, and as of right now, I have no transport myself.
We tried to find somewhere to hire on an hourly basis, but nothing is consistent—nothing that would work.
Nothing that even comes close to my studio.
“I’ve set up an alert, so anything coming up for rent will pop up on my email. You should set it up on yours, too. In case I miss it.”
“Yeah, I will.” I drop my head back, defeated.
“We will find something. Don’t panic.”
“I’m not.” I smile sadly, feeling an ache in the back of my throat.
She lies back on the sofa next to me, a comfortable silence falling over us.
“Luce mentioned your mum may have kept money from a potential…” she hesitates, not knowing how to say it.
“Father,” I finish for her.
“Have you spoken to her?”
“No. I was waiting until after the showcase.”
She nods, looking back to the ceiling. “How do you feel about it?”
My phone starts to vibrate on the table, and I’m glad for the interruption. As much as I love Maggie and appreciate all she does for me, there is nothing I hate more than discussing Mum.
Mason’s name lights up my screen.
Finally.
“Hey.”
“Where are you?” he panics.
“I’m at Lucy’s parents’ house. I couldn’t get hold of you. Did you get my message?” My voice quivers and Maggie’s hand slips into mine. “Erin sold the studio.”
“Yeah, did she say why?” he asks.
“No. Maybe. I can’t remember; I was in shock. They changed the locks. Can they do that? I don’t even have my things from inside.”
“We will get your things. Send me the address, I’m on my way to get you now.”
Relief fills me, and I let out a breath. He’s all I need right now.
“I’ll text it over now. Thank you, Mase.”
Maggie stands, pulling me up with her. “He seems like a good egg. I’m pleased for you, but you know where we are.”
“Thank you. For everything.” I smile, wrapping her up in a hug.
Mase
Once again, I underestimate Nina Anderson and her ability to remain so strong. She made it easy. Easy for me to lie to her.
Lucy and Megan have been here for the past three hours, and never have I been so grateful that she has such good friends. I’m in my office looking up potential studios for her—I know what I need to do.
Make it right.
I’ve narrowed it down to three, and they are all above and beyond what she had before, but it doesn’t ease the weight of my guilt.
I print out the advertisements and gather up all the information.
The girls are all laughing when I enter the living area, and I pause, the sound grating on me. This whole time I’ve been worried about how Nina would deal with all this. I didn’t stop to think about how I would.
Can I do this?
How do I live with myself—with her, knowing I will have to keep it from her. There’s no way she would stay if she knew.
She doesn’t deserve this.
“Mase, take her to bed and make her forget about today. She’s considering stripping as her next form of income.”
I snap my eyes to Nina’s in mortification, but she gives me a reassuring look. “Calm down, Bossman. You know I would never.” She looks at Megan. “Why are you trying to wind him up?”
“It’s too easy.” They chuckle, and I plaster a forced smile on my face.
“Come on, bed,” I tell her.
The girls stand to hug Nina, and Lucy whispers into her ear, but it’s loud enough that I catch it. “He’s so hot when he gets aggy.”
“Thank god it’s a Wednesday,” Megan adds, and they all start to laugh again.
“Thank you, girls. I’ll see you tomorrow,” Nina tells them.
They disappear into the elevator, and she stands in the foyer watching after them. I slide up behind her and pull her to me.
“Mase,” her voice cracks.
Fuck.
“What am I going to do?”
She turns in my arms and stares intently into my eyes, searching for a hope that’s impossible to find.
“It’s going to be okay. I promise.” I close my eyes as the words leave my mouth, knowing I’ve broken every promise I’ve made so far.
“My little studio. It’s gone. It’s not mine anymore. It was all I had, and the only thing I could say I did on my own. What do I do now? Who am I without it?”
Panic rises in my chest, the hurt in her eyes gutting me.
I can’t lie to her.
I can’t do this.
“I need to go back into the office for an hour this evening.” I pull away from her, my feet faltering as I step back. “Will you be okay here until I get home?” I pick up my keys from the tray, then bend to slide on my trainers.
“What? You’re leaving?” Tears stream down her cheeks, and I can’t bear the look she’s giving me.
“I will be an hour tops.” My throat constricts, and I struggle to pull air into my lungs. I give her a tight smile as I enter the elevator and hit the button for the garage.
Her face is a mask of hurt and confusion as the doors slide closed.
What the fuck have I done?
Nina
Thursday morning hits me hard. I wake with a headache, and I feel lower than I have in maybe ever. I was up most of the night going over in my head what I’ll do now I’ve lost my studio. Everything I came up with is impossible.
Mason didn’t come to bed last night, and he was already gone when I woke up. I don’t know what is going on with him, but he pulled away from me last night—left me when I needed him most.
Pulling myself from the bed, I shower and dress in some comfy clothes. I have nowhere to go, and the feeling is devastating.
Tears sting my eyes as I lift the sticky note from the worktop.
Call me if you need me angel
“I needed you last night, Mase,” I mutter to myself.
I wrap my arms around my body and glance around the penthouse, hating how cold the space feels without him here. Switching on every light possible, I find my phone and plug it in, moving to my spot in the window and letting loose.
As always, my dancing brings me the escape I desperately crave. But after two hours of solid dancing, I have to stop. My muscles are on fire from pushing my body to the brink of collapse.
My day went downhill from there.
I decided to make a cake. Maggie told me how easy it is and to do eight ounces of everything. I called her in a fit of tears when the sloppy mixture wouldn’t hold together. We soon figured out that I used eight eggs instead of eight ounces, but yeah, I cried over a cake.
I tried not to let it get me down, moving to the walk-in wardrobe where I rearranged my things, finally hanging up the few items I’d packed up, feeling like an imposter in somebody else’s home, but hoping it would make Mason a little happier.
He’s been stressed with work the last few days, or so he says. I know the Joey thing is still playing on his mind. And his dad. God, I’m such a bitch. I haven’t even thought about his father.