Chapter 25 #2
“I don’t need you to fix it, Mase, don’t you get it?
While you’ve spent days looking for a new studio, I’ve been here alone dealing with the hurt that comes with losing the one I’ve built from the ground up.
I’ve been alone when you promised me I wouldn’t be again.
You. You promised me that. I told myself I was being selfish, and I’ve tried to put on a brave face, but you don’t deserve it. ”
Tears well in my eyes, but I blink them away. He doesn’t deserve them either. “This isn’t the Mase I know,” my eyes drop down his hunched form, “and you are not the man I thought I was falling for. He wouldn’t hurt me like you just have.”
“Nina,” he warns, his jaw ticcing as he braces himself.
“Get your shit together, Mason.”
“Where are you going?” he asks as I walk from the kitchen.
“Anywhere but here.”
I hear a bang and glass smashing as I jog up the stairs. I gather up my things and change into my tights, then slip from the penthouse.
I just want my Mase back.
The girls are both asleep when I get to their apartment half an hour later, so I let myself in with my key.
I didn’t want to call and wake them, but I also didn’t want to be alone.
I’ve felt alone for days. As quiet as I can, I start making the coffee, not wanting to wake them but knowing they’ll be up soon anyway.
“Hello?” Lucy’s voice calls out from the lounge.
I spin around, squinting as I try to make her out in the darkened room. “It’s me, babe,” I call out.
“Oh, thank god.” Megan flicks on the main lights, and we all cover our eyes. She stands with a flip-flop in her hand, shrugging when I eye it. “I thought you were a burglar.”
“And what was that going to do?” I eye the flip-flop, smiling, even though I feel like shit inside.
“What’s going on? How come you’re here?” Luce asks, drawing my attention to her.
I take a deep breath in, running my hands over my face and through my hair. “I don’t even know.” My eyes start to well up and I look between the girls. “He didn’t even try to stop me from leaving,” I choke out.
Lucy pulls me into a hug. “Come on, everyone in my bed.”
The three of us climb into Lucy’s double bed, something we haven’t done in years.
We lie looking up at the ceiling, not needing to fill the silence that settles over us.
“He wants to buy me a studio,” I finally voice.
Lucy smiles sadly over at me. “That explains a lot.”
“The money bothers me, but I think it’s the fact he’s been so cold all week, saying he was busy in the office.
I thought I should give him time and the benefit of the doubt with his dad being poorly, but then he said he had spent days looking for a studio.
I just really needed him to be here for me, and he hasn’t been.
Money was the last thing I wanted from him. ”
“Do you think it’s because of Joey? I mean, the guy has had a thing for you forever. Maybe he’s pissed about that,” Megan asks.
“No. He told me it wasn’t, and I believe him.”
“Just give him space, babe. He will come around.” Lucy smiles, squeezing me tight.
“I don’t know if I want to see him at the minute. The things he says when he gets mad. I need space right now, and I’ll decide when I am ready to go back. Don’t go letting him in if he comes knocking.”
“You got it,” Megan agrees.
“Pancakes?” Lucy asks.
I’m deep in the kitchen cupboard when I hear my phone ringing in the front room.
I woke up early and didn’t know what to do with myself, and after making myself a cup of coffee and noticing the total disorganisation of the mugs, I decided to rearrange them.
It’s now late morning, and I haven’t been able to stop.
The girls reluctantly left me to go to work this morning after a weekend of my tears and moaning.
I don’t know how they put up with me most days.
Shimmying out of the small space, I dart to the coffee table and check my phone, finding Joey’s name lighting up the screen.
The photos.
“Hi, Joey.”
“Nina! I’m surprised I caught you. I thought you’d be busy at the studio.”
My throat grows tight as I think about the studio. “No, I had some bad news last week. The studio has been sold by the owner.”
“What? Can you still use the space, like, rent from the new owners?”
“No. The locks were changed the day it sold.”
I still need to get my things.
“Nina, that sucks. Is there anything I can do?”
I smile at his concern. “Not in terms of my studio, but you could show me the bomb ass photos you took. I’d love to see them.”
“It’s why I was calling. Are you free today?”
I’m about to say yes when I think better of it—eyeing the mess on the kitchen floor and the state of myself in the hallway mirror.
“Not today, but I could probably make tomorrow work?”
“Brilliant, are you okay to come to me? It’s easier with the computer.”
I have a moment of doubt. I know Mase won’t like me meeting Joey, let alone somewhere private, but with the way he’s been acting this week—fuck him.
“Yeah, sure, text me your address and I’ll come to you.”
“Will do. Thanks, Nina.”
“Bye, Joey.”
I throw my phone to the counter and eye the mess on the floor, wondering why I even started in the first place.
The girls would give me crap if I left it like this now.
Begrudgingly, I finish the cupboards, wiping them down and putting everything away again.
I shower and check my phone for any alerts on new premises and then climb back into bed.
The thought of doing anything else seems utterly exhausting.
“I spoke to Elliot earlier. Mason wasn’t in the office today, and he asked me if I knew what was up,” Lucy tells me as she opens her kitchen cupboards in amazement. “This is incredible. You colour coordinated our tins?”
“I had lots of spare time.” I shrug.
“You’re acting mopey. Tomorrow you need to get out, go to the gym or something.”
“You spoke to Elliot?” I divert the conversation from me, arching a brow at her in question.
“Yes, Elliot. My friend Elliot who is just that, a friend. Is that okay?” She starts to get jerky as her annoyance rises.
“Absolutely.” I grin at her from where I’m sitting on the counter.
“You look like a psycho when you smile like that.”
I start to giggle. “I feel like a psycho today. Honestly, I don’t think I have cried so much in my life. Not even as much as that day Mum left me in that park when I was six.” I shake my head at the memory. “This week has been a hyper wave of emotions.”
“Have you heard anything from him?”
“Nope. Not even a text.” I jab my tongue in the side of my cheek, trying to think about anything else. How did I get him so wrong?
“What is up with him? Why make a fuss of chasing you down to act like a player now. He asked you to move in, not the other way around.”
“I don’t—”
The doorbell rings, cutting me off. “Hold that thought.” Lucy skirts off around the corner, and a few minutes later Mason appears in the doorway. My heart grows heavy in my chest. Lucy stands at his back, and I give her the stink eye as she squeezes past him.
“I’m just going to go take a shower or something,” she says, heading down the corridor.
His eyes cut into me. They are full of so many questions, yet neither of us speak.
“Why are you here?” I ask after a beat.
He steps farther into the room, coming to stand in front of me. “I need to speak to you.”
“You could have called,” I snap, harsher than I intended.
His eyes lock on mine as his hand comes up to smooth my hair. I itch to lean into his touch, but I don’t, staring back at him with absolutely nothing in my eyes.
“Maybe I needed to see you,” he tells me.
“Yeah? Maybe I needed you too, Mase, and maybe you were nowhere to be found.”
“I know.” He drops his head, his voice full of remorse. “I am so sorry, Nina, I just needed to fix it. You were so upset about the studio.”
“When you get mad you use your words to hurt me. I won’t stand for it.”
“I know.”
“Do you? You keep saying you know Mason, but do you?”
“Yes, would I be here now if I didn’t?” He picks up my hand, inching closer. “Come home.”
I want to. God, I would give anything for the warmth of his body wrapped around me, but if I let him off now when he can so easily slash me with his words, then I will live a life full of it, and I won’t allow that for myself.
“No.”
“Nina—”
“I will come home, you don’t have to worry about that. Go to work, carry on as normal. When I’m ready, I’ll be home.”
“When will that be?” He frowns.
“I have a studio to find and a showcase to win.” I shrug.
I’m not for sale.
“You’ll never let me help you, will you?”
“You have no idea what it took for me to allow myself to live with you.” I think about how easy it was for him to get me to move in. “But that guy. The man who took me to Paris and allowed me to decide for myself. That guy can be pretty damn perfect.”
“Come home,” he begs.
I shake my head, and his nostrils flare.
“I used to enjoy winding you up. I would tell Vinny how fun it was, but now? Now I tread the line so careful, afraid of the damage you will do to us with your words.”
“Nina, this is ridiculous; just come home. What’s the point of waiting a couple of days?”
“Mase, you aren’t the man I met six weeks ago.
It’s been a crazy few weeks. Take some time for yourself, go and see your family.
” I drop my head to the side, smiling. “I have so much in my own life I need to fix right now, and you should do the same.” I bring my hand up and smooth it down his chest. “We can wait.”
“You drive me insane,” he huffs, capturing my hand in his.
Hope blooms in my chest. “Good, I want your insanity back. You disappeared on me for a few days.”
He swallows thickly and takes a deep breath in. “Promise me you will come back to me.”
My lips twist up in a smile. “I promise.”