Chapter 3
THREE
Nina
My hand palms my forehead as I try to attach the booking form to the email for the one hundredth time. Why is this so difficult?
Ashley disappeared.
She went to assist a lady in the pool and hasn’t been back since. Guaranteed she’s stuck talking to Hadley. He’s a charmer, and she’s putty in his hands.
“Nina.” My eyes shoot wide as my manager, Rochelle, calls to me from the elevators.
Balls. Where the hell is Ashley?
I force a smile onto my face. “Hi.”
“Did you process the payment for the gentleman in 156?” she questions with a frown.
“Uhhh.” Did I? I might have. “I think so.”
“You think so?” she repeats in a condescending tone. “Nina, he had a tab of nearly two thousand pounds. How was this missed?”
“I’m still learning the system, I’m sorry.” God, I suck at this. How mortifying.
“You’ll need to call him. Ask for payment and apologise profusely for the mistake.”
“Of course,” I tell her, annoyed. As if he didn’t know he missed a two-grand tab. He’s the one who should be apologising. Cheeky bastard.
Rochelle’s eyes survey the reception until they land back on me. I swallow as I watch her, wondering what else I could’ve screwed up.
“Where’s Ashley?”
“Helping a lady in the pool.” Why is she so scary? She’s only a couple years older than me, but she’s disarming in her authority.
Without a word, she shakes her head and walks towards the back offices.
I drop to my seat, puffing out a breath. That could have gone worse. Although, I need to scrub up on this system before I really screw something up. I can’t afford to lose this job, and Rochelle doesn’t tolerate lackadaisical staff. Those are the exact words she used during my interview.
I wonder how I ever got the job at all.
The rest of the day goes by without a hitch. I called the guy from 156 and had him pay the tab. Ashley had to show me how to add it to the invoice for future reference and then we fixed the issue with the email.
Glancing at the clock, I notice I still have two hours left of my shift.
They always seem to drag. Ashley leaves at six, and the reception always quietens down around five, so it doesn’t bother me being left on my own.
I usually practice on the training system to help master the bookings, but today I’m staring into space, trying to figure out how I can approach Mason.
I don’t necessarily feel ready to have him come to the apartment, but I know I need to let it happen.
Rip off the Band-Aid.
Lucy would speak to him for me, but maybe it’s something I need to do? I know before I face him again, I need to speak to him. A text or something to find the dynamic. It’s currently nonexistent.
Pulling up his name, I click the message icon and start to write.
Nina
Hi.
Ugh. No. That’s not right.
Mason, I have been thinking. I think it would be better for everyone (but me)
Bitter Nina, you are bitter!
I delete the message and try again.
I think you should go with Scarlet to my apartment this evening. It might help having you there for bedtime. Nina.
I hit send and stare at the message.
I did it.
I texted him.
My palms sweat as I stare at the words.
This is huge progress, it’s been seven months.
Three dots begin to bounce on the screen and I lock and toss my phone onto the desk as if it burns me, my body flushing with heat. I can’t deal with this communication thing. It’s too much. I don’t think I’m ready for his words.
If I’m being honest, the reason I’ve kept myself from him is because I’m weak.
Mason Lowell has the ability to bring me to my knees.
He did it time and time again in the months I was with him.
And I let him. Blinded by lust, and his perfect fucking face.
Asshole. The thought of seeing him and having him explain himself, or try to win me back, scares me.
He killed my dreams in more ways than one, even if that did give me the greatest gift in return. I don’t think I will ever forgive him.
I busy myself with the computer, doing nothing in particular and trying to keep my mind off my phone. It’s useless. Picking it up and flipping it over, I spot his name.
Swiping my thumb over the notification, I open the text.
Mason
Ok.
That’s it?!
Ok!
I reach out after nearly seven months, allow him access into my home, and all he has to say is OK! Is he kidding me?
Squeezing my eyes tight, I stand and smooth my hands down my skirt. I’m at work, I need to keep my cool. I can’t let him get to me. Not anymore, that ship has sailed. He’s the father of my child and not a single thing more.
Fucking ok! Who does he think he is?
The Audi is idling at the curb as I cross the road. Climbing in, I smile at Vinny and do up my seat belt.
“Hey!”
“Good day?” he asks.
“No. I’m terrible at everything, Vinny. I did well in school! I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
“You aren’t in there enough to get to grips with it yet. It’s been a month—eight shifts? It’ll come.”
“I hope so,” I mumble, my head dropping back to the seat.
“You will.” A smile pulls at his lips. “So, Mason left with Scarlet this afternoon. That was a surprise,” he tells me, looking at me knowingly.
“He went to mine?” I wasn’t sure if he would.
Will he still be there?
“I’m proud of you, love.”
“Have I done the right thing, Vin?” I ask, scrubbing at my face, completely drained.
Checking his mirrors, he pulls out onto the quiet road. “You did the right thing, and you didn’t do it for you. You’re remarkable.” He pats my leg. “I hope you know that.”
“Is he still there? At the apartment?”
He nods. “Should I have him leave first before you go up?”
“Is Scar there too?”
“Yes, she stayed. I’ll come up with you if you want?”
I roll my lips, unsure. “Yeah, okay.”
Am I ready for this? I don’t want to see him.
“I know it’s been a while, but nothing has changed with him. He’s still the same Mason as before.”
I think that’s what I’m most afraid of.
It’s after eight when we get to my apartment. Vinny follows me to the elevator, and we ride it in silence to my floor. I pause when I reach the door, looking up at him. He simply nods his head in encouragement, urging me forward. Here goes nothing.
I take my time, shimmying into the apartment and placing my bag on the side table, then, slipping my shoes off, I bend and place them off to the side.
I don’t want to look up.
I can hear the TV and I know he’s here.
I can feel his eyes on me.
My heart pounds in my ears as I turn towards the living room, looking anywhere but at the man who sits on my sofa. I can see him in my peripheral, but I can’t bring myself to look him in the eye. Still, my body flushes hot.
“Hi,” I say to Scarlet, spotting her in the kitchen. I walk to her instead. “Did he go down okay?”
We stare at one another as if I haven’t just asked a question. She flicks her head between me and Mason, clearly unsure what to say.
I need her to be the chatty one here. She could talk the ear off a donkey. Why is she not saying anything?!
I frown at her, willing her to talk.
Mason lets out a huff from behind me, and subconsciously I turn, my eyes finally finding him.
Everything inside me liquifies as our gazes lock. His low brows, dark eyes and strong jaw. His lips, full and parted. I feel my brow crease. It’s painful to look at him. My chest aches with a warmth so intense, it sears me from the inside out.
What even is that feeling?
His hair is longer, much longer as if he hasn’t cut it in months. It curls around his ears, brushing his collar. His body is strong, his shoulders set wide, and his arms stretch the fabric of his dress shirt.
Everything is as I remember it.
Is that why this hurts so much? The knowing. How he felt when I was in his arms, or how he smelt. God, I miss the sensory overload that would floor me whenever he held me.
He breaks the connection first, bending to pick up his keys. “He went down fine. Had a bottle at seven.” Everything about him is cold and detached. The polar opposite of the feelings he evokes in me. “Scar, you ready?”
“We’re leaving?” she asks, confused.
“Yeah.” His eyes eat me up again. Every. Inch. Of. Me. “We’re leaving.”
I don’t know what I was expecting after all this time, but this wasn’t it. It’s as if he can’t stand to look at me.
Scarlet gives me a tight smile as she steps past me. I can only imagine how awkward this must be for her. “I’ll text you when I’m home.”
“Okay.” I nod.
Mason turns, striding towards the door. The air is electric between us, so much that hasn’t been said. So much that will never be said.
My eyes well unexpectedly and I dip my head, biting my cheek as I try to get my emotions under control.
“Do you want me to stay for a while?” Vinny asks, stepping up and blocking me from view.
I stare at his chest, unable to speak past the lump in my throat.
“I’ll be here tomorrow. Five fifteen,” Mason states from the door.
Vinny turns when I don’t say anything, nodding his head.
The door slams shut, making me flinch.
“He hates me, doesn’t he?” I run my hands through my hair.
“He could never hate you, Nina.”
“You go.” I wave him off. “I’m gonna have an early night.”
I turn and walk to the kitchen, setting up the steriliser and filling it with bottles. My mind drifts back to my message to Mason earlier and his short reply.
“He doesn’t hate you, Nina.”
“No, it’s okay, Vinny. I think it’s easier if this is how it is. I don’t think I’d survive a conversation with the man. I’m just being silly.” I turn on the steriliser and turn towards him. “You go, I’m fine.” I smile, swallowing the lump in my throat.
He’s hesitant as he steps up to me, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me into him. “It’s okay, love,” he tells me, eventually leaning back and wiping a stray tear from my cheek with his thumb. “The first time was always going to be the hardest.”
I nod my head, because I knew it would be hard. It’s why I’ve put it off for so long.
“Go get your boy and get some sleep. You need Ellis cuddles.”