Chapter 7
SEVEN
Nina
“Let me get that for you,” Vinny tells me as he jumps from the driver’s side of the car and meets me at the boot. “You take the bags and I’ll get Ellis.”
“Thanks.” I start up the steps with our bags, turning to call over my shoulder. “His bear is next to the car seat.”
“Got it.” He holds it up, smiling.
I push open the large door, noting that the entire house is lit up like Christmas. “Scar?” I call out.
“Nina?” Scarlet’s head pops around the kitchen door, her hair piled on her head and her dungarees only done up on one side. “You came,” she says, sounding surprised.
“Of course I came!” I drop our bags and walk to her. “Come here.”
I pull her petite frame into a tight hug, wishing I could take away all the hurt. “I’m going to go settle Ellis in his cot and I’ll be back down. Get Vin a coffee for the road? He’s beat today.”
She nods, already turning back towards the kitchen. “Okay.”
Ellis is still fast asleep when Vinny brings him in from the car.
I take him from his arms and carry him up the stairs to his bedroom.
At first, Scarlet wanted his nursery to be on the east side of the house, but then she showed me his bedroom which sits in the west wing, and we both knew it was perfect.
His bedroom has the perfect view overlooking the garden.
His grandparents watch upon him whenever he is here, and it feels like the most special thing in the world.
Vinny is already gone when I get downstairs, which doesn’t surprise me—it’s gone eleven.
“I’m so sorry I called so late. I didn’t know who else to call, and you know how Freya can be,” Scarlet rants over the rim of her wine glass, clearly worked up.
“You can always call me, Scar. You know that.”
“I called Mase.” She drops her eyes, pulling in a deep breath and letting it out again.
I frown, pinching the stem of my wine glass between two fingers. “You told him about the headstone?”
She nods. “And asked him to come out here.” She lifts her eyes to mine. “Am I stupid to hold on to hope of him coming around?”
I walk around the island and wrap her in a hug. “No. You’re a good sister. He’ll do it one day, Scar. He just needs more time.”
“What about me? I don’t get the luxury of more time. It’s me who lays the flowers. It’s me who tends to the weeds. Sometimes it feels like he doesn’t even care.” Her jaw clenches and I know she doesn’t believe her words.
“I know, and it isn’t fair. But you’re strong. You make the people around you stronger. It’s not that Mason doesn’t care, it’s because he cares too much.” I roll my eyes. “I have a little faith in him, still, you know.”
She smiles as she swipes at her cheek. “Mum’s headstone is beautiful, but it’s such a reminder. The date—the loving words of the woman she was. I don’t want to look at the date Dad died. I don’t want to read how wonderful he was.”
“I’m sorry.” I drop my head to hers, not knowing what to say. “It might not mean anything to you, but I’d give anything to be able to have such wonderful words written on my parents’ headstones. God, if my mother died, I’d have no clue what I’d say. Is that terrible?”
“No.” She laughs, and it makes me grin. “It’s very you.”
“It only hurts because of the memories, Scar. Try and focus on the good and not the words carved in the stone.”
“Thank you, Nina.”
“Of course.” I smile, knowing that she will be okay.
“You’re sure you’ll be okay?”
“Yes! If I knew you were going to linger all weekend, I wouldn’t have called you,” Scarlet tells me, smiling playfully down at Ellis who is wrapped up in her arms.
She has to be one of the strongest people I have ever met, and I know she would’ve gotten through the weekend without me, but she shouldn’t have to. I’d hoped Mason would come around and show up on Saturday, but that never happened.
We had Anthony’s headstone placed and then sat out in the garden for the afternoon whilst Ellis crawled amongst the wildflowers.
“I’m glad you called. Ellis had a great weekend. We really should come out more often.”
“It’s so far for you both that I never want to ask.”
I shake my head, smiling. “I want Ellis to know this place. It’s important to me that he has somewhere other than the apartment.” Not that I’d turn my nose up at what we have now, but I always wanted a little house on the outskirts of the city. Somewhere homely.
“He doesn’t know any different” —she waves me off— “and he has this place and Maggie and John’s, and I know the Montgomerys think of him as one of their own.” She places her finger on the end of his nose. “You, little man, are more loved than you’ll ever know.”
“He really is,” I snigger.
“Car’s loaded. Do you want me to take him?” Vinny asks from behind me, speaking to Scarlet.
“No! He’s mine for another five minutes.” She walks past us and out onto the front terrace.
I can see the annoyance on Vinny’s face. He’s been itching for a cuddle since he got here. “You can stay for tea tonight, Vin. If you want to.”
“That’s okay, I don’t want to intrude.”
He’s always been too polite for his own good. “I have Maggie and John coming over, I know they’d love to see you.”
He grins, perking up instantly. “John’s coming across? It’s the champions league final.”
“Yep.”
The two of them hit it off the minute John discovered Vinny to be a Tottenham fan. Vinny drove me out to the house one Sunday, and once he was invited in, that was it, he became my companion to all Sunday lunches at the Morgan’s.
I shake my head, helping to put the last of the bags into the boot. “Scar, we need to get back, I need to stop for supplies!” I call to her, feeling bad but knowing I have plenty to catch up on at home.
I’m leant across the kitchen island watching as the boys sit on the edge of their seats. As always, my week hosting Sunday lunch for Maggie and John turned into feeding the five thousand. First Vinny, who I welcomed in, but then the hungover trio rock up, Lucy, Elliot and Lance.
I love them all, but they turn up, eat my food and leave. Which leaves me and Maggie in the kitchen to clean up the mess.
“Pass it!!!” John yells, red-faced. “Fucking shit—”
“John!” Maggie hisses from her spot next to me at the kitchen island. She nods towards Ellis who is watching John in wonder as he sits on the floor, happily chewing his fist.
“He doesn’t pass it, Mags!” he explains to her, as if it will make it okay.
“Yes! Yes! Yaaasssss! Get in there, you beauties!” Elliot jumps up, getting in John and Vinny’s faces in celebration.
“Stop shouting, please,” Lucy groans from the sofa, where she’s curled up with a blanket feeling sorry for herself.
“Sit down, you fool. You’re still losing,” Vinny tells Elliot.
“Just wait, old man.”
“How’s it been leaving Ellis? You seem to be settling into work well?” Maggie asks me, passing me the stack of dishes she’s finished drying.
“Good. It’s nice to have the independence and be able to pay for this place. I can’t say I love it at the hotel though.”
She nods in understanding; she knows it’s not the job I want. “And Mason, it still works for him to have the time off work?”
I smile to myself as I carefully place the plates in the cupboard.
The thing with Maggie is she cares, probably more than anyone else, and she wants to be a part of our lives.
But she isn’t pushy. She’ll let us know she’s here, and that she’ll help us, but she won’t force it. It’s what I love about her.
“I think it works. It gives them more time together in the week too.”
“That’s good.” She picks up a tray from the drainer.
“But I could ask Mason if he needs any help at all, maybe you could have him a day a week if he is ever too busy?”
“Whenever! I told the office I’m more than ready to drop down to three days now. I don’t want you ever having to pay for childcare.”
“I can’t see that ever being a problem.” I laugh, looking over at the people I call my family.
“Do you think you can have Ellis next weekend, Mags? It would be overnight, which I know we haven’t tried before, but it’s Elliot’s birthday and Mason will be out with him.
I might go too but if not, I’ll have him instead. ”
“It’s Mason’s weekend?” she questions.
“Yeah, and he hasn’t asked me to ask, but he can have an extra night during the week or something.”
She puts her hand on her chest and beams at me. “His first sleepover? If Mason doesn’t mind, I’d love to.”
I watch her as she spins and picks up the sieve, her happiness making me smile.
I shouldn’t feel sad, but I can’t help the hurt that swamps me.
I have so much love around me, and Maggie is the mother and grandmother I always wished Ellis and myself to have.
But she isn’t my mother. My mother hasn’t contacted me in months, and even then, it was me calling to tell her she had a new grandchild on the way. I’ve heard nothing since that day.
“What’s that look?” Maggie asks.
I scrunch up my nose in thought. “I think I made a mistake when I left Mason.” A lump forms in my throat.
Did I just say that out loud?
Maggie’s eyes go wide, and she recoils. “Nina. I—”
“I know.” I drop my head, waving it off. “It’s by the by now. I just wish I’d taken more time. I saw the photos and couldn’t see anything but that image when I made the decisions I did. Seeing him again this last week… It’s been odd. He hates me now.”
“I don’t believe that man could ever hate you.”
“I’m nearly thirty. I have Ellis now, and I live mostly off the money I get from his father. I feel like I’m in this weird middle zone of motherhood and trying to find… me again. I don’t know.” I huff. “What if I don’t find someone else?” I bite the inside of my cheek. “Being alone, it scares me.”
“You’ll never be alone, darling,” she soothes, pulling me into her side. “And someone will snap you up. You just have to learn to let them in.” She gives me a pointed look. “And dance, you need to dance again, Nina.”
Maybe she’s right, maybe dancing is the distraction I need to ease the chaos that Mason brings.