Chapter 19
NINETEEN
Nina
I’m anxious as I climb from the Audi. I’ve barely said a word to Vinny on the drive over, although he has had plenty to say to me.
You wouldn’t believe that I struggled to get a word from him when we first met. No, now I have this brute of a man, giving me advice, and trying to always steer me to the right path. I love him for it, but if he tells me everything is going to be alright one more time, I might just snap.
“You want me to come up?”
I turn to him and find Ellis already out of the car and in his arms, the changing bag on his shoulder.
“What if I want to leave?” I swallow the bile that rises in my throat, then lift my shaking hand to smooth my hair off my face.
“You won’t leave, but I’ll be right here, okay? I have emails to catch up on anyway.”
I nod. He has told me this already. I lean in to take Ellis. “Thank you, Vin.”
“You’re going to be just fine, my girl.” He places a kiss on my hair before I turn towards the elevators.
“Shall we go see Daddy?” I smile down at Ellis.
“Da, Da, Da, Da.”
The temperature has dropped, so I move quickly to the elevators to get Ellis out of the cold. With nerves fighting their way up my throat, I take my time to key in the code that Vinny gave me. Before I step inside, I turn and call over to him, “You go home, Vinny. Don’t wait out here.”
He dips his head, a smile tipping his lip up. “See you a bit later, love.”
I seem to have lost the confidence I had in the gym yesterday, and I’m pretty sure it has everything to do with the penthouse, but I know I need to do this. I want to.
The keypad flashes green and Ellis bounces in my arms.
I give myself a pep talk on the ride up. I need to do this for Scar. She wants him at the ball, and I want to fix my family.
I can do this.
The doors ping open, and Mason is standing right there, waiting.
He’s wearing a fitted navy button-down shirt and suit pants. His sleeves are rolled up at the arms, but the man is anything but casual. I don’t know if the sight of him puts me at ease or sends me further up the anxiety ladder.
“Hi,” he says, flashing me with that killer smile.
I dip my head. “Hi.”
“You look lovely this evening. I appreciate the change of attire from last night.”
My head lifts at that, a smile playing on my lips. “Better than my work clothes?”
“Hmm, just a very different kind of perfect tonight.” He eyes his son who sits in my arms, hugging me tight.
My wide grin seems to encourage Mason’s, and the tension is momentarily gone.
“You two coming in?” he asks, flicking his head behind him.
Stepping out of the elevator, I’m instantly immersed in everything Mason.
The penthouse is big—bigger than a man and his child could ever need, but it’s every bit of the home I’ve always wanted.
I don’t know if that’s because of the way it feels being here, or because of the fact that it’s where I fell in love with Mason—the home we started to build our family in.
“Do you want a drink?”
He asked me that on my first night here. The night he brought me home. The first night I slept in his bed. He wouldn’t touch me. I remember the need I felt to have his hands on me.
“A drink would be good, thank you.” I let the air caught up in my lungs whoosh out of me as I will myself to calm down.
Without paying much attention to my surroundings, I follow him into the kitchen. Everything is the same in here, and Ellis instantly tries to get out of my arms.
“Do you want to put him in his chair?” Mason tips his head to the high chair at the end of the island. I place Ellis into the seat and strap him in. I can’t help but notice that it’s top of the range and branded. I turn and stop short, coming face-to-face with a bouquet of roses.
“I got you these.” He hands me the arrangement awkwardly and I stare at them in surprise. He got me flowers. “Is wine okay?”
“Yeah. Wine’s fine.” The knot in my stomach seems to bound up tighter again. “Thank you so much, Mason. This is so thoughtful.”
He watches me as I place the flowers on the counter and lower myself to the chair at the island. My hands twist in my lap. I wish I suggested we eat out, or maybe even at mine again. The conversation seemed to flow between us better at mine.
I wonder how long it will be before I call Vinny.
“Why are you so nervous?” he asks, pulling me from my thoughts.
“I’m not.” I bring my hand up to pinch along my collarbone, his eyes trailing my movements.
Rounding the counter, he places my wine in front of me letting his chest brush my back. “You have no reason to be nervous, Nina.”
I lift my chin, looking at him over my shoulder. “I don’t?”
His eyes seem to darken, and I can’t help but want him to tell me to be afraid. That I should be nervous. His tongue darts out, wetting his bottom lip. “Can you feel that?”
“What?” I frown, flicking my gaze to Ellis who watches us from his high chair.
Mason follows my line of sight, his chest growing bigger—stronger at my back.
His heart pounds rapidly against me.
My eyes flutter closed, my body going lax. I haven’t felt this man in so long.
“You petrify me, Pix.”
He’s gone before I can reply. Moving around the island again and putting distance between us.
“Dinner will be here soon. I thought we could eat and then maybe you’d like to put Ellis to bed?”
“Sure.” I glance around the kitchen, noticing the baby bottles and other small additions. I wonder what else has changed.
“You want to go have a look around?”
“No,” I answer quickly, puffing out a nervous laugh.
“It wouldn’t be weird if you did, I know you loved it here.” He says it so relaxed that you wouldn’t believe his heart was racing just like mine moments ago. He’s calm, controlled and confident.
“Loved. Past tense,” I murmur.
Our eyes lock.
“Loved, and then a lot of shit happened.” His face softens. “How about we agree to not talk about that whilst Ellis is up?” he suggests.
I nod, my eyes stupidly betraying me and getting prickly.
“Any plans for the weekend?” he asks, clearly unsure what to say and catching me off guard. I can’t tell him about my plans for the weekend. Now isn’t the time to ask him to the ball.
“Are we really at the awkward chitchat stage?” I smile, probably looking like a complete goof as I fight to keep my hands still in my lap.
“Well, I can’t exactly bend you over the kitchen island now, can I,” he deadpans.
“Umm. Oh. I…” I’m pretty sure I am a bright shade of pink because I did not expect that. We’re on completely different pages right now.
Mason only shakes his head, busying himself at the sink. I’m pretty sure it’s so he doesn’t have to talk to me or bend me over the counter? Jesus, this man is hot and cold and sometimes fucking icy. I can’t keep up.
I’m certain it’s this penthouse. It’s throwing me off. I need to snap out of it.
The buzzer sounds for the reception, and I jump up straight away, knowing it’s our food. “I’ll go!” I rush from the room, taking long strides to the elevator and telling myself internally to chill the hell out.
I pull up the girls’ group chat.
I AM FREAKING OUT!! Everything is so much harder being here
Luce
Give it a chance Nina you’ve not been there long have you?? It’s only 6!!
He told me he wanted to bend me over the kitchen island
Megan
So what’s the problem?
Luce
He didn’t want her last week
Exactly!
He’s giving me whiplash
Megan
I need to go get me some of that whiplash
Fucking idiot.
Luce
Use Ellis it’s why you’re supposed to be there
A couple hours and you will be more relaxed
Have a glass of wine!!
I have wine
I look over my shoulder making sure he doesn’t sneak up on me while I hide out in the foyer.
Megan
Did you ask him about Saturday yet?
Not yet! I’ve barely said a word
Megan
Come on my little butt slut!!! What happened to the queen who I dropped off at the gym yesterday morning?
Luce
She has a point
You think I should come back at him?
Megan
DUH
Luce
A little… maybe once Ellis is in bed?
At your own pace though. DO NOT force it
I don’t have to force the connection between Mason and I that’s for sure.
Megan
You’re forgetting that he was your man once. Go get his balls and wear them as earrings
Luce
Pretty sound advice Megs
Megan
Right???
Are you two at home together?
Luce
Yup!
Megan
Yup
Scarlet
Sorry, girls. I just finished studying. What have I missed?
I leave the girls to fill Scarlet in and go to reception to get the food.
Mason is laying the cutlery on the table in the living area when I enter the penthouse and Ellis is sitting at the head of the table.
“He sits in your seat?”
Mason’s smile is full of pride. “Of course. He’s the boss around here now.”
I pop a brow. “Is that so?”
“For the majority of the time, yes.”
Biting my lip, I pull open the bag letting the delicious smells assault me. “Hmmm, you ordered Italian?”
“I thought Ellis would like the lasagne. I got you the meatballs.”
My mouth waters and I take a seat next to Mason at the table.
“I got you another wine.”
I smooth my hands over my thighs where he can’t see. “Thank you.”
Ellis sits quietly in his chair, and I wish for once I had a fussy baby. Simply because it would give me something to do. He sits patiently waiting for Mason to feed him another mouthful.
I don’t allow the silence to stretch, nervously jumping in and blurting the first thing that comes to me.
“So, have you spoken to Scarlet recently?” I ask, taking a mouthful and then wiping at my lips with my napkin.
I inwardly cringe at my topic of choice, but I need to put some feelers out to know where we stand on the ball.
The sooner he knows, the better. If I had it my way we wouldn’t keep it from him.
“You know I haven’t,” he calls me out, throwing me a smile and offering me a lifeline.
“Sorry.” I take a sip of wine, trying to find anything else to talk about.
“I plan on going to see her soon.”