Chapter Seventeen #2
He smiled down at me, going harder and faster than before as his thumb found my clit. Oh, God.
“Come for me, baby. Milk Daddy’s cock one more time,” he said sweetly.
Gone.
I was gone.
Yelling words that probably didn’t even belong to any human language as my pussy clenched around him.
He released a roar—the sound alone threatening to keep me in the depths of oblivion forever—tossing his head back and he moaned my name, his cock swelling inside of me.
His hands on my hips still slammed me against him as he jerked, filling me—marking me.
He fell on top of me, caging me in with his arms around my head, and kissed me like I was the air he needed to breathe as he continued to slowly pump into me.
My hands cupped his face, kissing him back with the same urgency, my heart pounding inside my chest. The feeling of his weight on top of me made me feel safe and secure for the first time in a long time, even if he was one of the most feared men on the planet.
Everything I had felt for him for the last nine years came crashing into me, wave after wave, hate, love, hope, fear, love again… I pulled away, gasping for breath as more tears formed in my eyes.
Then, it happened.
I broke.
My body began to tremble, and I sucked in a harsh breath. For years, I had been holding everything in, day by day, living in a shell. The only time I’d ever felt anything real outside of my family was with the man on top of me, his heart beating against mine. He made me feel real—whole.
“Karina?” He rose up to look at me with a concerned face, his eyes going wide as he took in my state. “Baby, angel, did I hurt you?”
The panic in his voice only made me cry harder, but I shook my head. “No, no- I just—”
He cut me off by pulling out of me and rolling over so I was straddling him. He scooted us up the bed until he could lean against the headboard, his hands gripping my arms as his thumbs stroked my bare skin. Gentle. Compassionate. Soothing. For me.
My evening gown was still bunched around my waist, and he was still in his slacks. The look on his face—
He didn’t look like a hitman in this moment. No, in this moment, he wasn’t a killer. He was just my Col. His blue eyes searched mine, seeking confirmation that he didn’t harm me.
Fuck, I was so in love with him.
“You didn’t hurt me,” I whispered, stroking his cheek.
“Talk to me,” he demanded, his voice rough but gentle at the same time. This was a side of him I had never seen—only in my dreams, and the mere thought of that had my emotional dam breaking, crashing through the barriers that were meant to protect me.
I pulled my hand away and started to fold my arms over my body. Instantly, his hands stopped mine, his tattooed fingers wrapping over my wrists with the gentle force of an autumn wind. Enough to shake the leaves down, but not break the tree.
“You—do you regret what we just did?” The vulnerability in his voice commanding my soul to dance for him. He didn’t regret this—that was evident.
“No, no—I just… We're done, you know—”
“Fucking,” he deadpanned.
I blushed. It wasn’t just fucking to me, but he didn’t make love to me either. The carnal act we just performed was somewhere in between the two, deep within the grays of love and hate.
“I’m still mostly naked,” I said weakly, shaking off the possibility that he could ever love me.
He looked down at my body and nodded. “Answer me this, Karina. Are you scared of me?” Those icy orbs snapped to my eyes.
I shook my head.
“And I didn’t hurt you?” he asked, raising a brow. My heart jumped.
“No, you didn’t hurt me.”
I saw a flash of metal, and then the dress was ripped from my body. I gaped at him as he sat his blade on the nightstand, tossing the red dress to the floor. “Col—"
A tattooed hand gripped my jaw, and he brought my face an inch away from his.
“When you are in my bed, you will be bare for me. You will not hide from me. Don’t you ever try to cover yourself up.
I’ve spent years holding your gorgeous eyes, barely maintaining the shred of control you just shattered. You. Will. Let. Me. See. You.”
My bottom lip began to tremble as the subdued emotions, came rushing back. “I just never thought we would be here,” I admitted, wiping my tears away. He took my hands and held them between us.
“Let me see them,” he whispered. My tears.
“You know, the first time I saw you, when you walked in that night, looking for Gwen…” I trailed off, swallowing the nails in my throat, but yet, he waited.
He tilted his head slightly, all his attention on my face.
“I felt alive for the first time in months. The way you smiled at me. You were the most beautiful man I had ever seen.”
He looked away from me then, his features hardening. “I hated that night.”
“Wha—"
“Cal Matthews made me go hunt down Davenport, even though I had already been with her the majority of the day. I didn’t care about her or Dean Connors, really.
At that time, I had one goal, and that was to move up in the ranks.
I wanted power,” he explained, his eyes focused on the city. “I still want it.”
He wanted to see all of me? Then he would have to let me see all of him.
Reaching for his face, I gently turned his head back to me. “Let me see you,” I whispered, repeating his words.
A spark ignited between us, the air in the room changing suddenly.
The course of us in the seemingly endless abyss between love and hate that we floated in, lines being blurred by deep, gray water, changed.
The winds shifted, the current becoming harsher as thunder crashed in the distance, and the heat of electricity lit up the black sky.
“There are things you don’t know about me,” he warned, the coldness I'd grown used to coming back into his voice.
I scooted closer to him, my arms wrapped around his tattooed neck, anchoring myself to him as the storm brewed, warning me of what was to come. “I want you. All of you. Show me your darkness. Please.”
“And if you don’t like what you see?” he challenged, his hands settling on my hips, my heart fluttering at the simple touch. Ever since I gave him my consent, he hadn’t stopped touching me.
“I've seen you covered in blood, standing above me,” I reminded him. He was beautiful then, too. That was the thing about art—it could be dark too.
He chuckled darkly. “My bloodlust alone should scare you.”
I stared at him, refusing to back down. Collin Stevens only spilled the blood of evil men.
His face grew serious once more. “You weren’t supposed to be real,” he admitted, his voice thick with emotion, though the coldness still lingered in the shadows, waiting to take over.
“When I was a kid, I was passed around from foster homes to orphanages…until I just stopped going back. My last set of foster parents were a different kind of monster, Karina. The woman wanted me to shower in front of her.”
My stomach dropped. “Col.”
He waved it off. “Anyways, I stopped going back there, stopped going to school. I lived on the streets. You would think the winters were the hardest, but it was actually the heat of summer that nearly killed me.”
“Oh, Collin.” The image of a little raven-haired, blue-eyed boy sweating and thirsty in the heat made my chest ache.
He pinned me with a glare. “I don’t want your pity. I survived, but some nights, usually when I slept in the parks under the metal slides, I would dream of a day when I would finally be happy. There would be a bright light in those dreams, warm and welcoming—a woman.”
His throat bobbed as he looked down at our intertwined fingers, my fair skin against his ink covered skin.
Total opposites, drawn together by darkness.
“The woman laughed one time—in my dream, and I’ll never forget that sound.
It was music. Then, years later, I heard that very same laugh when I was standing at third base. ”
My brows came together as those eyes met mine.
“Eight years ago. It was the seventh inning, and we were trailing by two against Texas. Kevin was up to bat, and I was trying to steal Homeplate. You were sitting in the stands with Haley and Gwen. It was one of the only games Gwen came to. I heard that sound, and I thought I was dreaming. Imagine my surprise when I looked to see your head thrown back, that music coming from your mouth.” He huffed a harsh laugh.
“As if you weren’t temptation enough, the universe decided show me the woman in the light was you. ”
There were no words.
I couldn’t—I just stared at him, my tears dragging down my cheeks.
Slowly, I pulled my hands from his, reaching under me to line his semi-hard length up with my entrance, letting my body convey the things I couldn’t say. Not yet.
His eyes flared, heat returning to them as I slowly sank down on him.
Grinding my hips as his erection grew inside me, I pressed light kisses on his cheeks, nose, forehead, jaw.
He sat perfectly still—until I lifted up and slammed back down onto him, a gasp leaving my body as pleasure surged through me. “Oh.”
“Jesus, Karina,” he growled, gripping my waist.
My head fell against his shoulder as my body began to show him just how much he meant to me.
My darkness. My demon. My Col.
“You are my darkness,” I breathed against his tattooed neck, my hands rubbing up and down his torso as I continued to ride him slowly, every inch of him stretching me all over again. His fingers flexed on my flesh as he groaned, his mouth finding my ear.
“And you are my light,” he rasped, moving his hips up to meet mine. I whimpered at the force.
“I’m yours, Col,” I moaned, his fingers finding my clit as my hands dug into his arms. He fucked me faster, taking control of my body to chase his pleasure. He spanked me, his teeth sinking into the skin on my neck, marking me, and I just held on.
My eyes fell closed as I tightened and then exploded around him, screaming into his neck. His growls and grunts of pleasure only added to mine.
He brought me down onto his cock over and over, using me. I loved it. My lips found his ear, my teeth nibbling the skin. “You fuck me so good, Daddy.”
“Jesus,” he seethed, his head falling back, his body shuddering.
That reaction only motivated me more. I wanted him to lose every ounce of control, I wanted him to go insane for me and only me.
I moaned, moving my hips faster as I rose up over him.
His eyes flew open, and they were nearly black.
He looked feral as he bared his teeth to me.
“You want your demon to fill you up, baby?”
I nodded, my breath hitching as he started playing with my clit. He wanted me to come again—
“Col, please. I can’t—” I begged, slightly upset that he back took control.
“You’ll get my cum when you earn it,” he growled, flipping me onto my back, his hand wrapping around my throat. Our eyes met, and he immediately tried to remove it, but I stopped him.
My hand moved over his, around my throat, and I clenched around his cock. “I trust you, Col.”
That did it.
His control shattered as he fucked me like an animal, pounding into my body as he whispered dirty praises in my ear.
“Such a good girl for Daddy.”
“Taking your demon’s cock so well.”
“Come on this cock, angel. Give it to me.”
When I exploded around him again, black spots filled my vision, a blinding white form of pleasure possessing my body as I arched into him, crying out his name. He jerked above me, slamming into me three more times as he filled me.
As I came down from my bliss-filled high, when he buried his face in my neck, I could’ve sworn I heard him say it.
“I’m yours, too.”