Chapter Twenty-One #3
His hand covered my mouth roughly while his other pulled my hair, forcing me to keep eye contact with him. “Ride my dick until I tell you to stop,” he grunted, flexing his hips.
My body was quivering as it tried to accommodate him. Weeks. Fucking weeks without him. Slowly, ignoring the twinge of pain in my hip, I began to move, grinding against him as he stared up at me, his jaw tight.
“I couldn’t save you,” he grit out. “I was too late.”
His anger and venom weren’t all for me; I could see the self-hatred in his eyes. James Garner, the man behind the mask of perfection, didn’t think he was good enough anymore.
I brought my hands up to his shoulders, so I could ride him better, fuck him the way he needed me to. I brought my hips up and slammed them back down, my eyes pleading with his.
Don’t hate yourself for my mistakes.
I had never felt so full. His cock stretched me to the point of pleasurable pain. I clenched around him as I came down again, and his hand fell away from my mouth as he groaned, his eyes falling closed.
“You are my hero, James,” I breathed as I brought my hands up to his face.
His eyes snapped back open at my words, and he snarled, bucking his body into mine.
My eyes studied every centimeter of his face, engraving its beauty into my brain.
I had taken our time together for granted and hurt us both countless times over the past year.
My past anger shouldn’t have even existed.
Life was too damn short.
I slid down his length again and stopped moving, my pussy filled with him.
“I’m sorry,” I said, kissing his scruffy cheek. “I’m sorry for all the pain I caused you. I’m sorry I moved out in New York when I didn’t want to leave. I’m sorry for being scared of my feelings for you and the power you have over me.” I placed light kisses all over his face, fucking him slowly.
“I’m sorry I took our time together for granted.
I’m sorry for pushing you away. I’m sorry for all the things I said.
I’m sorry I haven’t been loving you in the way that you deserve.
You are a good man, James Garner. You saved me.
The only reason why I am here today is because of you,” I admitted, leaning my forehead against his.
His hands found my thighs. Not squeezing, not rubbing. Just resting there as he listened.
A tear fell free and began its descent down my cheek as I mustered up the courage to say the words that needed to be said.
“I’m sorry for trying to be brave and leaving.
I’m sorry I betrayed your trust, James. I’m sorry for taking your heart with me,” I whispered, my fingers weaving into his hair.
I inhaled an unsteady breath. “I’m sorry you lost yourself to the darkness because of me. ”
He captured my lips then, cutting me off to ravage me.
He kissed me with such force and hunger, it felt unfamiliar, yet I wanted more.
He was unhinged now. The mask that had protected him for so long had shattered, and I was the one holding the hammer.
He grunted and cursed against my lips as he leaned back, angling us.
“Hold on the fucking chair,” he ordered, his hands palming my ass, gripping the flesh painfully. My hands snapped to the back of the chair, holding on for dear life.
“This pretty little cunt is going to take every last fucking drop of me,” he growled as he pulled out, the head of his cock teasing my entrance as I whimpered with anticipation.
“Yes, agent,” I said softly, licking the outer shell of his ear.
“Fucking hell,” he groaned, slamming back into me. Hard. So hard, dots danced in my vision.
I buried my face in his neck as he fucked out his hatred, his anger, and probably his sanity. I cried out over and over, my fingers aching as I continued to hold on to the chair. When my pussy began to quiver for him, when my climax had almost reached its peak, his words sent me over the edge.
“Take this dick, princess. Take all of it—all of me.”
My back arched as my head flew back, a sound leaving my mouth that I had never heard before. He hissed a curse and began thrusting up into me faster, harder, so uncoordinated yet passionate. Wild.
Unhinged.
“I love you,” I moaned, my body shaking around him. Tears were streaming down my face as waves and waves of emotion crashed into me.
“You fucking better. Lost my goddamn mind because of you, princess,” he snapped, spanking my ass as he slammed into me once, twice. He groaned, my name falling from his lips as his length swelled inside me.
I rotated my hips, wanting all of it. "Every last drop," I breathed, still coming.
"Fuck, yeah," he grunted, kissing me. Our bodies continued moving as our highs faded.
A comfortable silence stretched between us as our emotions tried to gain control of our mouths. His hands rubbed up and down my thighs, but when they got to my waist, I winced. He froze, looking up at me as his dark brows came together.
“Did I—”
I cut him off, trying to stop the toxic thoughts from forming in his mind. “No, it’s just the—”
He lifted my shirt, halting my words. I watched his face with an uneasy caution as he took in the sight. I knew that it must look horrific.
“It’s not pretty,” I murmured.
Keeping his eyes on the bruise. “You could be covered in scars, and my desire for you would never diminish, Haley.” The hardness in his voice made me swallow.
Watching him as he tentatively traced the outlines of the biggest bruise, I held my breath.
“They kicked you,” he stated, his eyes flicking up to mine for a brief moment.
I nodded, pushing a lock of my hair behind my ear.
“Bastards,” he murmured, malice lacing his deep voice.
“I’m okay,” I assured him gently.
“Any pain, any cuts or bruises that you bear, is an extra weight placed on my shoulders.”
“You don’t have to carry it.” My brows came together. My mistakes were my burdens to bear, not his. My heart fluttered.
The love that this man possessed for me knew no bounds.
He chuckled. “You are under my protection, Haley, and I failed.”
I dropped my shirt, feeling vulnerable for all the wrong reasons.
He ran a hand through his hair, sighing.
The man before me was exhausted, worn, beaten down…
because of me. One of my hands reached out to wrap around his wrists, my thumb stroking his fair skin.
“I’ll never forgive myself for what you have become…
” I admitted, my voice fluctuating with regret.
He smiled. It was miniscule, but oh, how it blinded me. He stared down at our hands, his cock still inside me, the two of us connected in the most human way, and yet it still wasn’t enough.
I wanted normalcy back.
I wanted us to be happy again, to laugh again, free from any danger that may be lurking around the corner.
“This darkness inside me is something I was born with, Haley. Passed down from my father,” he explained, sneering a bit at the end.
“I hate him.”
His eyes met mine. “I don’t want you hating anyone for me, Haley. I just need you to love me,” he whispered, his throat bobbing.
“I never planned on stopping, agent.”
He kissed me then, cupping my face in his hands, his lips molding to mine. His scruff scratched against my skin, and I actually liked it.
We kissed each other as we expressed the things words couldn’t.