Chapter Thirty-Eight
Collin
“Col?”
I blinked a few times.
Why was everything so fucking fuzzy?
“Dr. Stevens! Derik! He's awake!” my angel cried.
Dr. Stevens?
Who the fuck was Derik?
The light above me was blinding, and I winced when I tried to bring my hand up to shield my face.
“Col? Col, look at me,” she begged as her shadow loomed over me. Everything came into focus around me slowly. Her heart shaped face came into view, her blonde hair cascading around either side of my head. Her sky-blue eyes were bloodshot and puffy, her skin flushed, and her bottom lip trembling.
“Angel,” I croaked. “Is this heaven?” Fuck, my throat was sore.
She sobbed, her hand touching my cheek. “Heaven is anywhere that you're breathing, Collin Stevens.”
Her forehead landed against mine, and slowly, I put my hands on her waist, squeezing her gently. I needed a reminder that she was real.
“I love you,” she whispered, her words seeping into my skin, cleansing my dark soul with her light.
A sound left me, and her lips touched mine gently.
“Shh, it’s all over. My sweet, sweet Col.
It's all over,” she rasped against my mouth.
I kissed her again, more fiercely than before.
She broke away after a moment, but our heads remained together, and her hands rested on either side of my neck.
“Your pulse is a gift,” she whispered a few minutes later. Or hours. I didn’t give a fuck. She was here with me, safe in my arms and that was the only thing that mattered to me.
My brow furrowed. “So I’m not dead?”
“No, Mr. Stevens. You are very much alive,” a male voice said. Kay scrambled off me, and I already missed her warmth.
Who the fuck is taking my angel away from me?
My hand reached out and caught her wrist. She turned to me, and I shook my head.
God, she looked like she had been to hell and back…for me. I swallowed, needles stuck in my throat. “Don’t go, Karina,” I whispered hoarsely. There was someone to the left of me, checking the monitors I was hooked up to, but I didn’t give a damn about that.
I needed her near me.
Her face broke into a bright, broken smile. “I’m never leaving your side.” I tugged her to me, and she stood at the end of the bed as a man in a white coat came to stand at the end of the bed. He looked up from the tablet in his hand with a kind smile.
I suppressed the urge to tell him to fuck off so I could be alone with my baby. “Mr. Stevens, my name is Dr. Derik Stevens, and I am the cardiologist who has been handling your case.”
“My case?” I drawled.
He looked from my face to my chest. “How are you feeling?”
“Like shit rolled over, doc.”
He nodded and tapped the screen. “Collin, you suffered a gunshot to the chest three days ago without an exit wound. You were placed on life support until I arrived.”
“Until you arrived?” I asked, my eyes dropping to his credentials on his coat. Dallas, Texas.
“A friend called in a favor on your behalf, Mr. Stevens. I performed surgery twenty-fours ago. The bullet is embedded in your right ventricle, but your heart remains intact and functioning. I repaired the damaged tissue around the bullet, but it would have been more of a risk for the bullet to be removed,” he explained, holding my eyes.
“Who called in the favor?” I demanded, my stomach feeling uneasy as the organ in question began beating faster. The monitor beside me made a noise I didn’t quite register. A favor? For me?
A soft vanilla scent surrounded me as a hand cupped my cheek. "Hey, look at me,” she said gently. “It’s okay.”
I shook my head. “Who called in the favor, doctor?” I asked, looking back to him.
“I did.”
My head turned towards that voice. There in the doorway. stood a tall figure.
Dean.
Dean Connors.
Called in a favor for me?
“Why?” I asked. There were so many emotions swarming around me, and I had no idea which one would strike me first.
Dean stepped over the threshold, Gwen Davenport behind him. Her eyes avoided mine, looking to Karina first. “You good?” she asked her softly.
“I am now,” my angel rasped. Then, Gwen’s eyes were on me and before I could stop them, memories of her and I came rushing forward, crashing over me like a wave, of us in Lovejoy Library, of us at the coffee shops, at the parties, the bars. Suddenly, I felt the need to say it…
“You need to know that I regret it, Gwen,” I said. The doctor shifted and moved towards Dean out of the corner of my eye. They spoke briefly, and then Dr. Stevens took his leave.
The curly haired woman before me held my gaze as she lifted her chin slightly. “Is it true?”
I stared, and Kay’s hand wrapped around mine tighter. “We don’t have to do this now, G.”
She ignored her. “Did you stab Jer in order to save me?” Dean came up behind her, leaning against the wall and folding his arms over his chest. His face gave away nothing as he watched our exchange.
“Yes,” I croaked, my throat burning.
“How long have you been planning on turning against Romano?” Dean questioned.
My eyes slid to his. “A while.”
“What are you planning to do with Kevin?” he pressed.
“Dean, please,” Kay begged. “I just got him back and I know that I owe you—”
The baseball player held his palm up. “You don’t owe me a thing, Kay.”
“Look at me,” Gwen demanded, and I did. She took a breath, perhaps to steady herself or to give me a moment, I didn’t know. Either way, I was grateful, because the next question out of her mouth shook me.
“My son. Were you supposed to kill him?”
This wasn’t the time for bullshitting. This was the time for truth. I knew three things. I was alive. Karina was safe. In order to keep her with me, I needed to make amends for the sins of my past. I knew I didn’t deserve forgiveness, that I probably shouldn’t even ask for it.
But I was going to anyways. Our future depended on it.
“Yes.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“He's a child,” I answered simply. By now, everyone in this room knew my moral standards. The bar was low, sure, but not that fucking low. Women and children were off limits. I'd killed women before, but it was simple and painless. Quick and merciful.
I have never touched a child, and I never will.
She stepped closer to the bed, pointing to the ground. “Don’t bullshit me, Stevens. I'm here, standing in front of you, willing to listen to what you have to say when all I wanted to do was put a bullet in your head,” she said, her voice thick with emotion. Her cool demeanor was beginning to break.
“And why didn’t you?” I challenged. “You’ve had plenty of opportunities. You could have killed me at the dinner, but you didn’t, Gwen.”
Her finger raised to Kay. “Because of her. You mean something to her! Hell, you meant something to me!” she yelled.
“When I saw your son for the first time, all I could think of was how much he looked like Dean,” I said firmly. She flinched. “Then, he started talking, and all I could think about was how much he sounded like you.”
She stiffened, and I pressed on.
“I had a chance to get Romano’s revenge right then and there, but I couldn’t fucking do it. Aiden is innocent. Once upon a time, I was innocent.”
“Col,” Karina breathed.
I shook my head. “I did what I had to do to survive, Gwen. It was the only way I knew how. Survive and adapt. That’s all I'd ever known until—” I cut myself off and looked away from her. Until I met Karina.
“Until what?”
That was a new voice. I turned to see another one of my regrets. Jeremy Jones.
“Until he met me,” my angel answered, stepping closer to me as she held her brother’s cruel stare. “Get out.”
“Kay—”
She began walking around the bed, away from me. I tried to sit up, but my chest hurt too damn much and suddenly I was lightheaded. I fell back onto the pillow, turning my head so I could watch them.
“Look at him! Look at him, Jer!” she ordered, getting in his face and pointing a finger at me. “He's here because of you! I could’ve gotten him out sooner—”
“I wasn’t the one to pull the fucking trigger, Kay.” He looked at me, hatred masking his face. “You stabbed me, motherfucker.”
“Enough,” Dean ordered, pushing off the wall. “The past is in the past. That’s where it needs to stay.”
“I’m sorry,” I said softly. Karina looked back at me, her blonde hair falling over her shoulder. Her brother looked like he had more to say but refrained as silence settled over us. There was so much to say, and yet there wasn’t.
How does someone apologize for years of pain?
So, I asked the next best question. “Where is Romano?”
“Dead,” the four of them said in unison.
Dead. My chest heaved as a sigh left me. Dead. He was finally fucking dead.
“You have good aim, Collin,” Gwen deadpanned.
I couldn’t help but smirk. “Damn sure better than yours.”
“That’s another thing. Why did you keep my dagger?” she asked. I shrugged—or tried to.
“It needed to be returned to its rightful owner,” I said. Jeremy shifted, and my eyes shot to him. This man wanted to kill me, which I deserved, but that was something I didn’t need my angel seeing.
“If you want to kill me, that’s fine. All I ask is that you don’t do it in front of Karina, Mr. Jones,” I said to him.
“Col!”
“I haven’t decided yet, Mr. Stevens,” he answered as his sister backed away from him.
“You touch him, and I’ll—”
“Collin?”
All heads turned to Haley, standing in the doorway. She walked inside, and I was grateful to find no signs of pain. She wasn’t limping anymore, and her skin had returned to a healthy color since I last saw her. She looked good. They all did.
“How are you?” I asked.
She smiled at me. “I should be asking you that.”
“You didn’t answer my question,” I pressed softly.
“I’m okay. I promise,” she said before turning Jeremy. “Casey is in the lobby asking for you.”
His eyes flicked to Karina’s and then to mine. “I came in here with an open mind. There is a lot we need to discuss, but I know one thing.” He looked at his sister. “You took a bullet for her.”
“Yes,” I said.
“Would you do it again?” he asked.
“Every fucking day, if need be.” My angel whimpered.