Chapter 18 #2
“I don’t, and I’m not sorry.” His lips brushed mine, a whisper of a touch, gentle and tentative as if giving me the chance to retreat. But I didn’t. I couldn’t. I needed him like I couldn’t recall ever needing anyone before.
My breath caught, and then he kissed me, tongue slipping between my lips, welcomed into my mouth.
He tasted of sweet coffee and heat, and I sank into his warmth.
His hand slid from my cheek to cradle the back of my head, drawing me closer.
Our magic twirled together, a melding of fire and ice, braiding itself into a tizzy of rising passion.
I gripped the edge of the desk for stability, even as everything else seemed to spin, the world spiraling into a need just for him.
When he finally pulled back, he repeated, “Shifters are possessive. Flirting with me is asking for trouble.”
I sucked in air as if I’d run a marathon, heart hammering in my chest. “Holy fuck,” I cursed, unable to form a G-rated thought.
He stared at me, studying my expression, wary now, as if waiting for me to slap him.
After a few, long seconds, Angel sighed and took a step back.
I leapt at him, grabbing his shirt and pulling him down to kiss me.
His startled gasp was lost to my lips as I tilted my head and begged for entry.
He froze beneath my touch for half a heartbeat before softening into my kiss.
Angel slid an arm around me, pulling me close as our kiss heated, his body against mine hitting all my buttons, my hands fisted in his shirt to keep him close.
I drank in the flavor of him—his touch, the taste of his lips, the heat of his skin—cursing myself for giving him all of my neediness. Decades with human touch forced on me more as transactions than affection were making me desperate.
He broke away with a breathy sigh, forehead resting on mine, eyes glazed with heat as we both sucked in air.
Warmth flooded my cheeks with embarrassment, but he had me good and trapped against the desk.
I would have run if I could——it was what I was good at and saved my heart from breaking—even though I wanted him like I’d never wanted anyone before.
“Jude,” Angel began.
Here came the rejection. The heartbreak built with gut-wrenching speed. “It’s okay. I’m sorry. I should have warned you…”
“About what?” He asked, still holding me close. His hard cock pressed into my thigh and I gasped at the spread of desire that poured through me with the cooling sweetness of his magic.
“That there’s something about you that I…
” I sighed, trying to break free, as I wasn’t certain how to clarify that, but he tightened his hold and leaned in to press his nose to my neck as though breathing in my scent.
It felt like heaven, having him wrapped around me.
Was it terrible that I longed to make this all real?
Maybe I was still asleep and this was my brain adding to the delicious encounter of Angel covered in cake.
“You don’t have to…” I struggled to form a coherent thought.
A throat cleared from the doorway. I flinched, and looked up to find Ezra there, but his gaze was on Angel, who didn’t glance his way.
“I’ve added names and details to the tags in the videos,” Ezra said, “if Jude can look at the information and let me know if anyone needs to be interviewed?”
“Sure. I’ll get right on that,” I answered, even while Angel held tight, and I panted, dreaming of being put over the desk or hugged until all the nasty memories of my life vanished.
Ezra nodded, grabbed the door, and closed it as he left, giving us a small sense of privacy.
“I’m sorry,” I said again, worried what our team would think of us.
He breathed against my skin, heart pounding beneath my palm. “You apologize a lot.”
“I’m—”
“You don’t need to be sorry,” Angel interrupted. “Did you know apologizing all the time is a sign of trauma?”
“Yeah. But I’ve done the therapy thing, and it didn’t seem to do much other than make me aware of my many, many faults.
” It was also a sign that I was feeling very vulnerable in the new job, and with a suddenly awakened magical ability no one could tell me how to control, while being unusually attracted to my partner.
“Can I make you dinner tonight?”
I blinked, processing the words. Was he asking me on a date? “Do you cook?”
He snorted, which tickled my neck where he remained nuzzled. “Yes, and I’d like to feed you.”
“Okay,” I agreed. “I like food. But I’ll need to go home and check on my brother first.”
“Sure.” He hesitated to let me go, and I could feel his tension rising.
“What?” I prodded.
“I live across the Veil,” he admitted, grip loosening as I stiffened.
“Is that safe?”
“As safe as it is anywhere.”
“Okay. Do you want me to meet you somewhere after work?” How would I navigate across the Veil? Were there maps?
“We can go together, if that’s okay with you. I can pick you up after you look in on your brother.”
“Sure. Will my phone work at your place in case my grandfather or Ivan calls?”
“Yes. You’re close to your grandpa?”
“He took care of me when my folks kicked me out. Well, him and my grandma. He’s in a senior living complex, but it’s not assisted, and I check on him a lot, order him food, spend a day off cleaning, and all that.”
Angel straightened, a smile tugging the edge of his lips. “I’m glad you had someone.”
Had Angel had anyone? “What about the team? Is Ezra going to report us?” I bit my lip.
“There are no rules about dating in SED.”
I let that sink in. This was really going to be a date. With expectations? Not that I didn’t desperately want to sink into him, but we weren’t there yet. “Dating.”
“Is dinner not a date where you come from?”
“It is, but…” How did I clarify without sounding like a cock tease?
“No strings, Jude.”
“Can you read my mind?”
“No. Nor am I any part sex demon.”
“Can you smell what I’m thinking?”
He snorted. “When it’s not about sex? No.”
I flinched. “Yeah, about that… I might put off easy vibes, but…”
“You don’t, actually,” Angel said. “I can smell your attraction, yes, but also your fear and anxiety. I wouldn’t call that easy. It’s a dinner date. No strings. Food and conversation.”
“And if we don’t mesh? Can we still work together?”
“Sure.”
“How many other work partners have you dated?”
“None. And never an SV.”
“You don’t like SVs,” I reminded him.
“Jude, if you don’t want to go out, just say so. Or we could do this as friends. Neither of us have to act on our attraction. We’re grown-ups. You say you feel this thing for me and don’t understand it. It’s not one-sided.”
I sucked in a breath and blew it out slowly, sorting through the tangled web of my complicated emotions.
The last few weeks had left me stripped of my usual armor, and vulnerable.
The enforced imprisonment in the hospital after the daycare event, being moved to SED, encountering whatever shadow monster that was across the Veil, and rescuing my little brother; it was a whirlwind of insanity.
Paired with the hottest man I’d ever met, who admitted he was as attracted to me as I was to him, I really wanted to explore a chance at something.
“The team would be okay with us dating?”
“You shouldn’t worry about them. They are my problem, not yours.
If anyone on the team looks at you funny, I want to know.
They’ve all been in your place, new to the division and the team.
Even Ezra, who acts like an entitled asshole because his canine instincts are stupidly overprotective.
” He said the last part loud enough to likely be heard through the door.
I glanced at the giant window from our office overlooking the main part of the bullpen and saw Ezra, sitting on the table beside Wade, lift a hand and give Angel the middle finger. I couldn’t help but hide my smile in Angel’s shoulder.
“How many people have come and gone from the team?” I asked.
“I’ve never dated anyone from the team before. Never been interested before.”
“In general.”
“In the past year, four. All non-shifter. None of them were a good fit for the team.”
“And you think I am?”
“Yes. You just need some time to settle in.”
“And you know this from the two days we’ve known each other?”
He slid his fingers up my cheek, our power syncing together in a swirl of energy that felt tangible, and yet sweet. “This tells me a lot.”
“The way our magic melds?”
“Yes. Was it the same when you touched Wade?”
“No. Wade wasn’t bad, but it turned painfully cold fast. And the NHV guy yesterday, my power snarled at his the entire ride to my place.”
“You took him to your apartment?”
“I think he was worried I was going to drop Ivan off on the side of the road or something. Once he looked over the place, he vanished. It was creepy.”
“For someone who doesn’t understand his power yet, you seem to have a good read on parts of it.”
“I’ve been good at puzzles my whole life. A lot of people ignore instinct. I lean into it. Just wish I had some guidance as to where to focus,” I grumbled.
Angel stood up and took a step back, his gaze focused on me as he met my eyes. “You don’t strike me as the type of guy to just give up.”
“No, never. But I admit, I feel like the universe is treating me like a punching bag right now.”
A smile tugged the edge of his lips again. I was really beginning to adore that tiny smirk. “Then maybe you should hit back?”
“Are you encouraging violence, Mr. Mao?”
“If it keeps you safe, yes. Didn’t you say you had martial arts training or something?”
“Mixed, yes. And self-defense. And unlike most men, I’m not afraid to go for the balls to get away.”
“Good. Then I won’t have to assign hellhounds to keep you safe.” He headed to his desk.
“I’d rather have kisses,” I grouched.
“Careful what you wish for.”
“Then I wish for a sexy man to appear naked in my bedroom every night to fuck me into a deep, orgasmic sleep.”
Angel laughed. “You’re lucky I wasn’t taking a drink when you said that.” He lifted his bottle of water toward me. “Will any sexy man do, or do you have one in particular in mind?”
“Oh man. I’m a huge Stray Kids fan.”
Angel barked out a laugh. “Yeah? So, which one is your bias? Felix?”
I waved away the comment. “He’s too young for me. Chan… totally Chan. He just did this photo shoot with a white fur coat, no shirt, and bedroom eyes… holy fuck.”
“You like your men older?”
“Sadly, Christopher is still younger than me,” I said, thinking about Angel’s tattoos and the glimpses I’d had of his divine body. “I like my men more seasoned.”
He lifted a brow at me.
“I wasn’t talking about you.”
“Uh huh. You’ve already said you think I’m sexy.”
“I did not!”
“Mhmm.”
I groaned. “I need to stop talking. What is this magic you have over me that keeps me saying shit that is better off inside my head than spoken?”
“No, go on, tell me more,” Angel said. “Orgasmic bliss was your wish?”
“I could have said I wished to be fucked over the desk, as long as the outcome is the same.”
Angel adjusted in his seat. “Stop, or you will be fucked over your desk.”
Now I was hard as a rock. Fuck. Flirting with him might be the death of me. “But you want me to come to dinner tonight. So, it’s like a date, right? A real date, or just something…?” Not pretend, but real time together?
“Yes. A real date.”
I nodded and sipped my bottle of water as I opened my computer to run through the notes. Maybe reading suspect files would put my dick back to sleep. Though the air between us sizzled with a new sort of energy, fragile, yet growing. Hope?