Chapter 29
Angel changed in the back of the SED van, and emerged to chat with Ezra, Wade, and Bobby for a few minutes. I wondered if I should join them, but my stomach grumbled and it was already after three in the afternoon.
To say that I was frazzled was an understatement.
The overwhelm of the new job and new power really added to my depression.
My nature as a people pleaser meant I had to have some sort of kickback from the job.
Usually, the satisfaction of solving a case or uncovering new clues was enough to keep me going.
But the constant slew of unknowns in this job made me feel worthless.
Maybe I needed to up my meds? I hadn’t in a while, as until this whole transition to variant thing, I’d been doing okay.
Now, I had a new job, some creepy power over the supernatural, a little brother who needed me, and I still had to take care of my grandpa and myself. It was a lot.
I swallowed and tried to focus on something grounding. Was Ivan okay? He hadn’t messaged me. I fired off a quick text to both Ivan and Grandpa, checking in. Grandpa replied fast. All was well. But nothing came from Ivan. Was he angry because I hadn’t contacted him all day?
Angel headed my way, his gaze flicking over me. “Let’s get you some food.”
“Day is almost over. Maybe we should just go back to the office? Enter notes?”
“Can you log in and input while I drive? I want you to record everything you saw, in detail, before the memory fades.”
“My bodycam was on the whole time.”
His jaw tightened.
“It caught nothing?”
“Just your interaction with the kid.”
What did that mean? I stared up at him, unmoving, needing an answer. “Angel.”
He leaned in close enough for his warm breath to tickle my earlobe. “Ezra’s trying to get permission to scan you close to the kid, like we did in the hallway upstairs.”
I sucked in a breath. “He thinks I made the kid do that?”
“It’s not a normal SV ability, but you have DV magic too, which could be anything.”
“I didn’t… I wouldn’t…”
“Shh,” Angel whispered as he slipped his hand around to cup the back of my neck, easing me against him in an embrace that soothed the rising anxiety and a panic attack I didn’t know had been pending. “Your scent was changing,” he said. “Breathe. We don’t think you did anything to the kid.”
“How do you know? I don’t know how this power works. How can any of you?”
“That’s why I want you to put in detailed notes. Everything you saw and felt, even when we were scanning in the hallway upstairs. I think it will help us clarify things.”
I caught Ezra’s disapproving gaze over Angel’s shoulder and flinched, trying to pull away.
“It’s fine,” Angel said, holding tight. “Calm first. Let me worry about him.”
“Can you take me to my place to pick up my car?” I asked, thinking maybe it was best to create some distance.
While I may not understand the connection between Angel and me, I knew the team saw something, and didn’t approve.
Was it because I wasn’t a shifter, or because I couldn’t control my power?
“If you’re willing to show me how to get back to the community center to pick up Ivan later…
I need to get comfortable driving on the other side. ”
Angel let out a small huff that sounded a bit like his cat, but he nodded. “Food first, then car. You put in notes while I drive.”
I gave him a tight smile and motioned to the car. “Ready, or do we need something else here?”
He held me a minute longer, breathing in my scent maybe, but then he stepped back, shook himself, and headed to the driver’s side.
Angel pointed at Wade, as if saying something without words.
Wade nodded. Bobby had already vanished into the SED van with his equipment, and I avoided looking at Ezra as I got in the passenger side of the car and opened my computer.
Angel steered us to a small park downtown, walked to a food truck, and retrieved the best fucking tacos I’d ever had in my life.
I ate, typing in notes, trying to recall everything and wondering just how much was safe to add.
Hunches and feelings had never had a place in my former police work, but with so much unknown, I had to use them here.
I paused over the notation about how my power overtook Bobby’s, hesitant to add an admission like that to the records.
“What?” Angel asked, watching me as he demolished his tacos.
I sighed. “All of this is feelings, not fact.”
He scooped a giant heap of super spicy salsa onto a chip and ate it, looking thoughtful.
“Variance is like that sometimes. There are facts, of course. Like that shifters change shape and part of it is biological, altering our bodies in ways that make many consider us not human, but part of it is magical too. An Amar leopard usually weighs only about a hundred pounds. I’m twice that, my mass the same in both forms, but that isn’t true for all shifters.
Wade’s bear is much larger than his human form, though he’s not a small guy. ”
“Ivan is much smaller,” I said, thinking about that.
“Scientifically, we don’t have all the answers,” Angel said, balling up his napkin.
“Theory is that some of the shifters gain or lose mass to the space between, an ether concept. But we don’t have a way to prove that yet.
Other variances have similar issues. Many find their variance stronger over the Veil.
Some find it easy to record using scientific methods, others are purely speculation. ”
“Like mine?” I asked, picking at the last taco in my bowl.
“Yes, though since Bobby was able to create a scan for the handprints you saw that’s a scientific marker we can share.”
“And yet, we’ve been unable to replicate it with the other things I see.”
“But does that mean it’s only a feeling, or that we simply haven’t found a way to record it yet?
” Angel asked. I offered him my last taco and he accepted.
“That’s why I want you to document everything.
We have teams that study our notes to see if anything overlaps, or if some new comment will trigger a revelation.
Bobby used that information to recalibrate a thermal camera to see those handprints.
Maybe he hasn’t found the right setting or equipment yet, but if you don’t tell us what to look for, how can we try? ”
“That’s a good point,” I said, and slid my laptop over to make more notes as he ate.
“Do you need sugar?” He asked after a few minutes, and my brain immediately went to kisses instead of food, face heating. He laughed. “That kind of sugar is okay, too.”
“Jerk,” I muttered. “No, I’m fine.”
He gathered the remains of our paper bowls and cups. “Still want me to take you back to your car?” There was a bit of hope in his voice, as if he preferred driving me around.
“I really want to be able to get Ivan if he needs me. I can’t be terrified of crossing the Veil forever, right?”
“It’s healthy to be a little afraid of it.”
“But I can’t let that keep me from taking care of Ivan if he needs me. He’s just a kid.”
“I was already in the war at his age,” Angel said quietly.
I stared at him, horrified by that thought and all he’d told me about seeing other shifters pulled through their shift and used as cannon fodder. “I hate that you went through that.”
“It was a long time ago.”
“But probably doesn’t always feel that way, right?”
He let out a long breath and nodded. “We all have baggage.”
“I hope I can protect Ivan from experiencing some of it.” If I wasn’t already too late.
Angel certainly seemed more put together than most men I’d ever known. Age, experience, or both? He got up to throw away the trash and waited at my side. “Ready to go get your car?”
I closed the computer and shoved it in my bag.
“Yeah.” Would he want to go on a real date sometime?
Maybe we needed to schedule something outside of work time.
The overlap bothered me, only because I wasn’t certain how the Sergeant would take it, and I knew the team hesitated.
How was it possible to know a guy less than a week and feel drawn to him like some supernatural magnet was snapping our souls together?
“Maybe we can schedule a date for this weekend?” I tried to be neutral. Was dating okay? Did he even really want that, or just a fling? Technically, he’d invited me to dinner at his place, but was that because he wanted to hide our relationship? “Out somewhere?”
“Sure. What do you have in mind?” Angel asked as we returned to the car.
“There’s that plushie arcade,” I said, instantly regretting the idea. It was meant for kids and girls, but I sort of loved the hunt of claw games and retrieving prizes. “Or we could go bowling or something.” I hated bowling.
“You don’t strike me as the bowling type. Borrowing shoes and all that. I can’t really handle the smells, but if you really want that, I’d deal. I’d prefer the arcade,” Angel said as he steered us toward my place to pick up my car. “Have you been there yet? I’ve seen video, and it looks wild.”
Heat filled my face. “Nikki and I have been a few times since it opened.”
“Oh? Do you have a giant stack of plushies hidden in your apartment somewhere?”
I did.
He glanced my way, his eyes sparkling with mirth. “You do.”
“Don’t make fun of me. Some guys hunt with guns. I use a machine claw.”
“Yeah, so plushie stash?”
“My closet is full, but I give a lot of them away. Grandpa has a ton. Some of the smaller ones become toys for Peanut Butter. I used to keep a handful of them at the station for any time a kid came in and needed comfort. I’ll have to dig through the bunch and see if Ivan wants any.
Do teenage boys like plushies? My dad would have kicked my ass if I wanted them, but it seems unfair.
Cute, squishy things can bring anyone joy, right? ”
“Yes, Jude, I would love to hunt plushies with you.” Angel patted my thigh and I sort of wished he would keep his hand there, but he guided us through my parking garage and up to my car. “Did you upload all your notes?”
“Of course,” I said as I got out and unlocked my car to shove my bag in the back.
“Good. Let me guide you over to the community center. I’ll send the Sarge a note that we are out for the day unless a call comes in.”
“Is that okay?” I wondered.
“It will balance out. You’ll find, some days you’re at a scene for over eighteen hours, others, in the office scouring notes and making connections.
We aren’t on rotation for Tactical Field Work for another week, unless there’s a major callout.
Those weeks are all running around, checking old locations, doing interviews, and sometimes tactical assault if a situation goes sour.
TFW weeks are long. It’s why it’s a rotation. To prevent burnout.”
“Good to know.” I’d have to ensure Ivan had a ride and food if I was working that much. Grandpa too. At least I had another week to prepare. This week had started with a DB and a creepy, possessed kid. How wild would a TFW week be?
“Let me guide you over, then we can hang out at the community center for a bit until your brother is ready to leave.”
I glanced at my phone. He hadn’t messaged me back, which made me frown.
“He’s probably shifted. Can’t text without thumbs,” Angel said.
“That makes sense. Okay, lead the way,” I said as I got in my car and turned it on, cranking the music down because I wasn’t the same person right this minute that I had been the last time I was in the car.
Knowing I had to drive across the Veil meant I needed to turn the radio down to think clearly.