Chapter 12
DRAVEN
On my knees before him, I feel like I can forget. He holds my head, pressing my cheek to his abdomen. I stroke his thigh as his forked cock throbs against my neck. The anticipation is agony. The waiting. He won’t indulge my body until I’ve satisfied his mind.
“Tell me about him, dark one. How does he make you feel?” Nox threads his clawed fingers through my thick black strands.
I take slow drags off my cigarette and blow smoke rings against his thigh. “He’s always been there. Just on the fringe. He’s more visceral now. Closer. I see him creep through my halls like a shadow that exists only in the corner of my eye.”
Nox strokes my head, gently scratching my scalp with his pointy tips. “You didn’t answer my question. How do you feel when his darkness surrounds you?”
I choke on my shame. It’s as thick as the smoke that billows from these glowing embers.
“I feel sick because I feel whole. Like a piece of my existence has been returned after being ripped away from me at birth. That lost fragment I’ve always been yearning for.
His presence fills that. He is my father.
Not in the way my mother’s husband is. And certainly not in the way that Rodrick has been.
But he is my creator. My father. And I don’t even know his name. ”
“We don’t have names. We are nothing until claimed. Mia gave me this name. Your mother may have given him one as well. But it doesn’t matter. You can call him whatever you wish. It means nothing to our own identities.”
I choke back a sob. It’s filled with bile and disdain and rage. One of these nights, I fear I will unleash a scream so unhinged that I will not be able to stop. I’m afraid that the violence in my voice will cause all living things to wither and die in seconds.
I stub the cigarette out in my palm, then toss the butt into the hearth behind us. “Have I told you enough? Will you give me what I want now? What I need…”
Nox’s twin cocks pulsate against me. His grip on my strands tightens. “Not yet. Wrap your hands around me. One each.”
A rumble stirs in my chest as I fist each of his cocks. “Please… How much more must I confess?”
“Do you feel less shame when there’s darkness? When it hurts?” His voice is merely a husky breath, tickling the edges of my psyche like feathers.
A hot tingling stirs in my belly. An ache.
I turn my head and gaze up at him. His eyes are pitch-black, dangerous.
“I feel more. And that is my gluttony. The more the bad things consume me, the more I hate myself, and yet the harder I cum. And for those fleeting moments of pure fucking euphoric release, I feel nothing but that intense pleasure. And it’s worth every fucking degrading thing I tell myself. ”
He cups my jaw, tugging me up gently. Eye to eye, his gaze sends shivers down my thighs. He presses his lips inside the hollow of my cheekbone. “Good boy. Get on the bed. On all fours.”
The silk sheets feel cool against my heated kneecaps. I spread my legs the way he likes, far enough apart for him to see how I erupt for him. My breath quickens as he takes his usual place at my side.
My yearning grows when he reaches his left hand below my belly and wraps it firmly around my cock. “Nox… fuck.” I hiccup, choking back my own saliva.
He smooths his right hand over my ass cheeks. “Are you a naughty boy?”
I pinch my eyes shut and gasp for air. My chest tightens. “Yeah. I’m a vile fucking creature.”
He drags his nails down the crack of my ass. “Do you deserve suffering?”
Fuck. I can’t breathe. My swollen balls feel like they’re going to burst. My dick is so hard in his hand… I clench my cheeks together. “Yes. Please. Punish me.”
He drags his palm down my shaft, his grip tightening as he reaches the tip. He pinches it taut between his fingers. And without warning, he brings his other hand down hard against my ass crack.
I buck and lurch forward. But he snatches me back by my cock.
He slides his palm up to my base, curling his fingers under to cradle my balls at the same time.
“Oh, fuck,” I gurgle out. My ass burns from the intrusion.
But my threshold for pain is much higher than that. “Is that all you got?” I growl.
“Shhh. Don’t open your mouth unless it’s to scream.” He cracks his palm down hard on my left cheek.
“Uhhh.” My moan drips from my mouth like honey. I feel the sting of the air against my broken skin, the trickle of the blood oozing down my leg. Saliva runs down my chin as my cock swells in his hand.
“That’s it. Drown in your pain. Dance with it.” Again. He smacks my right cheek, harder than before.
“Fuuuck.” The admonition gets lodged in my throat. I gulp the air as if it were medicine before dropping my head to the mattress. “Yes,” I cry out, my tears splashing onto the silk.
He works his hand up and down my cock, squeezing harder and gliding with faster strokes.
The pressure builds inside my balls and rushes down my shaft in short electric bursts.
I will cum soon. Anyone else would’ve already.
But again, I’m a glutton, and forbidding my own release for as long as I can makes it so much sweeter.
But when he’s ready to see me crumble, he knows exactly what to do to draw it out of me. His desires are demanding, brutal, and soul crushing.
He smacks his palm against the crack of my ass, and my knees buckle. I collapse forward, smashing my chest and shoulders into the firm mattress. I fist the sheets as my breath leaves my body in a whoosh. I’m gasping, choking, and harder than ever before. Fuck.
I feel his fingers probe at my entrance. They skate around it, taunting me. “Please,” I beg.
He leans over and drags his deliciously forked tongue down my spine. “Do you wish for me to destroy you on the inside too, dark one?”
I clench and shake, my puckered hole aching to be filled. “You know that I need it,” I rasp. “Defile me.”
A low growl erupts from his chest. “Claws out this time, dark one. Hold very still.”
I tear at the bed sheets, seconds away from unraveling. “Please,” I roar.
He thrusts a razored finger inside my ass. It pierces the tissue, mincing my flesh instantly. And a wave of euphoria crashes into me. I scream as he pumps in and out while he strokes me harder with his other hand.
I am agony. Chaos. A flickering beacon in his pitch-black sea. The pain anchors me to him so I can disassociate from myself. And it’s fucking everything. “Oh, fuck. Nox,” I gurgle out.
All the blood rushes to the tip of my cock as he plays me like a puppet on a string. I roll my hips into it. This. It is indeed a dance.
“Good boy. Cum for me, dark one. Spill your cursed fucking seed into my monstrous hand.” He digs his claws into my ass cheeks, into the tender flesh he previously cracked open. And that finger of his inside me… it’s so deep… so fucking precise with every thrust.
It’s done. I’m dead for him. An ancient call billows in my gut, forcing my voice out of my chest, a rumbling avalanche, deafening.
He probes with his finger, coaxing me into an orgasm. “That’s it. Earn it. Devour your own delight.”
I soak his hand with my throbbing cock. My cum is a river rushing over ancient rocks, forceful, deliberate, and hot. “Nox,” I scream as tears run down my face. One quake rolls into another as I dare to catch my breath.
“Yes, my love. I am here.” He leaves a trail of soft kisses up my back. “You are exquisite. Beautiful,” he whispers against my skin. “Mine.”
“And you are mine… Thank you,” I murmur. For this brief moment, the weight that sits heavy on my soul is lifted.
I stay with him for the rest of the night.
And no one disturbs us. I let him tend to my wounds.
He heals me with toxins and salves and gentle kisses.
By the time I close my eyes, the pain is gone, and I’m too tired to care about the figure who watches me from the shadows.
That ominous part of my psyche will still be there tomorrow.
So I’ll deal with it then. Right now, all I want to do is sleep with this beautiful monster’s tail curled around my legs.
Morning is dark circles, cigarettes, and coffee with a splash of gin.
I crept out before dawn, careful not to wake anyone in the mansion.
I think Nox heard me leave. I doubt he sleeps the way we do.
If at all. But he’s extremely observant and decided to pretend to be asleep and play along with the ruse.
As if we were an old married couple from the Poison War era.
I dip into Mia’s room to find her tangled up in a mess of heavy limbs. Bones is snoring, though he’ll never admit that he does, while she sleeps peacefully for once. He has a way of calming her in ways that the rest of us do not.
Aries must’ve gotten up early as well. The heady scent of his cologne still lingers in the halls.
I let it saturate my senses as I head downstairs.
I’m uneasy today. Anxious. My demons have their claws around my throat, taunting me more than ever to see if I’ll snap.
No one wants that. If I fall apart, there’s no putting me back together.
I’m on the fringes at all times, riding that slivered edge so hard, the wheels of my sanity are barely holding on.
All of my punctures, my wounds… I am so close to saying fuck it and letting them all bleed out.
I loosen the knot in my tie, cursing myself for being so obsessive-compulsive that I keep insisting on wearing these dreadful things. But my father, my mother’s husband, I should say, instilled these old traditional ways in me at an early age.