Chapter 16
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
EZRA
Ezra woke up an hour before he usually did, and he was regretting all his life choices, but he was too keyed up to go back to sleep.
He sat on the bed cross-legged and tried relaxing his mind, doing breathing exercises his psychiatrist taught him to help keep him from getting too wound up and then crashing afterwards.
Lilith lay on the bed in front of him, stretched out, her two front paws braced on his left knee and her tail thwapping into his right knee, making it clear she wanted more petting if they were going to be awake at such a god-awful hour.
He breathed in for four seconds, pet Lilith in a long stroke down her side, held his breath for four seconds, and then breathed out for four. He did this several times, much to Lilith’s approval, but it wasn’t doing much for his anxiety and heart rate.
“I think today is a medication day, Lilith,” Ezra told his familiar, and he checked the time on his phone before crawling out of bed and heading for his bags.
It was a bit early, but he would manage okay once he got the meds on board.
He took his ADHD meds, and the ones for depression and anxiety, and a magical booster pill from a certified medical apothecary that helped to increase the immediate effect and longevity of the medications he took.
He really should take the depression pills every day, but he forgot a lot of the time. It was something he was working on.
The anxiety meds merely helped control his heart rate, and he went through some more box breathing, beats of four over and over until the meds kicked in and helped to slow his heart and ease his rising anxiety.
He wasn’t afraid of seeing Raum, or doing his job—but anxiety wasn’t rational, and trying to explain the ins and outs of his mental landscape was exhausting even to himself some days.
His anxiety tended to kick in on days and moments when there was nothing actively stressful going on—as if his mind was so used to running on high that it needed to manufacture anxiety to get back to its usual operating level.
And when things were externally stressful—like dealing with a curse about to blow up in his face—he was typically as cool as could be, and able to focus and work.
Danger helped to focus his mind as well as his meds some days.
His brain never made much sense, even to himself.
Ezra was excited to see Raum, and eager to help the trapped soul in the skull, and all of those things were important, and so his anxiety went rampant when given the chance.
He took a shower and put some effort into looking as nice as possible with the clothing he had on hand—he’d packed initially for an excursion in the Canadian wilderness, not for an extended stay in an academic setting, and he might need to run to the nearest department store for more clothes at this rate.
There was no one at home to send him more of his own clothing.
Luckily, he had his phone charged and was able to set a reminder to go shopping for clothing. He was putting Lilith’s travel bag to rights when a knock on the door made him jump. He took a second to take a deep breath and blow it out slowly before moving.
“Today’s gonna be fun,” he muttered to himself as he went to the door.
The smile on his face was uncontrollable when he saw Raum in the hallway, holding two coffees. He held one out to Ezra, who took it and immediately sipped, moaning in relief at the deliciousness.
Raum chuckled. “I asked the sergeants how you took your coffee. Glad they were right.”
“Coffee is life,” Ezra said between sips of the very hot beverage. His fire affinity came in handy—no scalding burns for him.
“Good morning,” Raum greeted belatedly, eyes locked on Ezra’s mouth held to the rim of the to-go cup.
“Morning,” Ezra murmured, and he was feeling brave now that his meds had kicked in and he had coffee—he left the doorway and stood on his toes, free hand braced on Raum’s shoulder, and pressed a soft kiss to Raum’s check. “Thank you.”
Raum shuddered under his touch, and turned his head enough that the next kiss, lips to lips, was unexpected, inevitable, and soft.
Ezra melted into the kiss and fell a few inches into Raum, a powerful arm around his waist holding him up. Raum neatly plundered his lips and Ezra let him in, gasping at the masterful way Raum took his mouth.
It was the threat of dropping hot coffee that made Ezra break away, and he blinked at Raum in wonder and surprise.
“Was that okay?” Raum asked quietly.
“Very okay,” Ezra replied, immediately wanting another kiss.
He backed into his room, tugging Raum after him with one hand, Raum following with a bemused look on his handsome face.
Ezra took Raum’s coffee and set both drinks on the nightstand, before Ezra went right back into Raum’s open arms and lifted his face for another kiss.
Raum didn’t disappoint.
This time was slow and exploratory, deep and full of slow, thorough sweeps of tongue, hints of teeth, and heavy breathing that left Ezra feeling like the top of his head was about to explode, heat building from his core.
He ran his hands over Raum’s muscled frame while Raum’s big hands held him by the hips, keeping him in place as one kiss broke for air and they dove in for another.
Raum was all heat and the taste of coffee, and Ezra wanted nothing more than to drag him onto the tiny twin bed behind them and get the bigger man on top of him, in him, any way he could.
Ezra was ready to throw out all inhibitions when Lilith yowled loudly, demanding attention. They broke apart, breathing fast and hard, and Ezra’s lips burned a bit from stubble, swollen and wet.
Raum looked ready to devour him. Expression heated, his brown and gold eyes glowed a bit in a way Ezra wasn’t expecting, but he liked it.
Lilith yowled again, angrily purring as loudly as possible and pawing at Raum’s leg.
Ezra sighed and gave Raum space enough to bend down and scoop Lilith up off the floor, holding her in the crook of his arm and scratching under her chin.
“Good morning, your majesty. I apologize for not greeting you immediately.”
She merely closed her eyes and continued to purr, pushing into Raum’s hand for more scratches.
“Sorry, she got attached fast,” Ezra said, shaking his head at his familiar’s antics.
“Nothing to be sorry for. She’s wonderful.”
Ezra watched in amusement as Raum continued to pet Lilith, who soaked up the attention as her due. Those big hands were gentle and dextrous and Ezra wanted to know what it would feel like to have them all over him.
“Penny for your thoughts,” Raum asked, a small grin lighting up his face.
There was no way Raum didn’t know what Ezra was thinking, and Ezra’s face heated up a bit.
He spun away from Lilith and Raum and went to grab the bag from the bed.
He double-checked he had everything and slung the bag over his shoulder, ready to go.
“My thoughts are free,” Ezra finally managed, face cooling a smidge, and he had trouble with the smile on his face getting out of control. “I like your hands.”
Raum grinned wide, Lilith’s purrs loud as he continued to pet her gently. “You are refreshingly upfront, and I like that. I’d also like to let you admire my hands up close.”
His face went hot again and the smile went out of control, and he almost bounced on his toes in excitement. Raum liked to flirt, and Ezra liked that he understood the flirting for what it was, too. Sometimes people were too subtle and Ezra missed the flirting completely.
“We can totally discuss a time to investigate what your hands can do,” Ezra said, and he was brave enough to wink at Raum, who chuckled approvingly. “We can stay here, but the bed is really small.”
“We can discuss my hands at my place. I have a kitchen, places to sit, and a bigger bed,” Raum offered, a touch of heat in his tone and eyes, but there wasn’t any pressure there either.
Ezra appreciated it, and found himself eagerly responding in a similar fashion. “Dinner at your place tonight? Can I bring Lilith?”
“I’d love to cook for you, and she’s more than welcome.”
Raum gestured over his shoulder to the door. “Ready to go?”
“Yup. I can carry her, if you like.” Ezra followed Raum to the door and into the hall, shutting the door to his room.
“I don’t mind, she weighs next to nothing.”
Ezra found it impossible to keep the huge smile off his face as he walked beside Raum to the parking lot.
Raum
The library was quiet when they arrived—the hour was typically busy with classes so there were few people around, mostly staff members like the librarians haunting the stacks.
Raum led the way into the Special Collections room, greeting the guard and helping Ezra get his visitor pass on his shirt while he juggled holding Lilith.
The door to the room closed behind them, the large area quieter than the main part of the library by a wide margin.
It was quiet enough their footsteps echoed.
“Harlan and Chase coming today as well?” Raum asked as they reached the tables outside his office. Raum unlocked the door and flicked on the lights, setting his bag on his chair and heading back out to the tables where their research awaited them, untouched in the night.
“I’m not sure,” Ezra said, pulling out his phone and scrolling through his messages. “Nope, looks like we’re on our own for the day. Major Grendel has them helping with the search for Simmons. They might be getting close to finding him if they pulled in my escort.”
“I’m surprised the man’s still in the wind, honestly.
” Raum said, sitting in the same chair he took the day before, while Ezra got Lilith’s little food and water station set up by the door of Raum’s office along the wall.
“If he wasn’t such a monster for getting his teammates killed I’d be impressed with his ability to evade arrest.”