Chapter 20 #2
“That’s why I can’t leave her,” Asher corrects, and seconds pass between us as I sit with his words, tossing them around in my head until they weigh nothing. “There’s more.”
He tilts his head, showing more of his face beneath the rim of his hood. “Someone’s been killing our leaders for over a decade. Eleven years, Ivy. Eleven years of people at the top of La Maison du Mal being picked off one by one. The only real pattern is power. Guy’s got a God complex.”
I fold my arms tighter, trying to keep up and hating that I can’t.
“I don’t know enough about any of this to have a real thought on it yet, but...”
His eyes land on me. “They think whoever’s doing this, they think it’s the same person who killed Nonna.”
Every other thought in my head dies on impact.
I lift my chin. “Who? Who do they think it is?”
Sinking deeper into his chair, he drags his tongue across his lower lip before he answers. “They call him Le Boucher Sans Loi.”
The Lawless Butcher.
Everything caves in and I can’t breathe.
I keep my face blank, chest pulling tight no matter how hard I clamp down on it, because this is what I trained for. This moment. The possibility that someone would make me, Emeric, and the rest of our family.
I push up from the floor, needing space, needing anything that isn’t this air pressing in on me. The walls blur and I stumble toward the stairs, climbing faster when I hear mumbling behind me.
Shit. Nothing in my training covered this. The person who Made us being the one person I can’t lie to. This is why the Codex exists. So you never end up here.
As soon as I hit the master, I head straight for the window that overlooks the backyard. Mount Crow stares back at me with snowcapped tips and dark rocks.
The door clicks closed.
“Are you going to run?” he asks, way too smooth for my panic.
I should run, but he knows I won’t. You don’t put out fire by running from it.
Every scar on my back prickles, as if I needed the reminder of why they’re there.
My fingers find the choker that’s forged around my neck. “No.”
As much as I love this man, I know that his love is going to eventually kill me. I may be venom, but he’s the fucking antidote.
“Damn.” His knuckles trace the nape of my neck. “That’s too bad.”
I whack his hand away and spin around, but he catches me by my chin, forcing me still.
“The fucked-up thing about all of this, Ivy? You’re in so deep that you haven’t stopped and looked around. I mean, really looked around.”
His hand falls back to his side before he settles onto the edge of the mattress.
Finally, he lifts his head. “How many times have you been in love?”
I clench my teeth. “What?”
“Answer the question.”
I shrug. “None.”
He pins me with a glare. “Try again.”
I clear my throat. “Once.”
The corner of his mouth tips upward, clearly pleased with my answer, before he stands from the bed. “The problem is that love and trust don’t go hand in hand.”
What is he talking about?
“Asher...”
“Shut up,” he chuckles, shaking his head.
“I never trusted you, Ivy. But where I don’t trust your intentions, you don’t trust my motives.
For whatever reason, we’re both stuck in a fucking place we can’t move out from, yet any time you walk in a room, I want you.
Every single fucking time, and that’s never gonna change. ”
He traces the contour of my cheek.
“How’d you get out?” I repeat, trying again since he’s being so open.
“Fuck, I just...”
“...how’d you get out?” I challenge, voice hardening.
His eyes snap to mine. “I crawled. And then I spent a year locked up in a facility talking myself into killing you.”
I shiver, goosebumps spreading over my skin. Out of all the possibilities, that wasn’t the one I thought he would say.
“Dovecrest,” I say, thinking back to that night. “Probably should have just done it. Would have been over quicker.”
He gives me that crooked grin. “But this way is so much more fun?”
“And Aléia?” I need to stay focused. “She was there?”
His fingers knead my neck, forcing my forehead to his. “You’re asking the wrong questions, Venom.”
This is him again. The battle between dark and light forever at war behind his eyes.
What happened to you.
My pulse spikes.
Could he know…
“What’s wrong?” His head tilts, thumb tapping the vein on my neck.
“Nothing.” I relax my shoulders.
His jaw tightens. “Ivy.”
“I said nothing.” I step back, needing the distance, needing room to think because my brain is firing in seventeen directions and none of them lead somewhere safe.
I know he’s watching me. Since he dropped Le Boucher’s name, Asher will be watching every micro-expression, every breath that comes half a second too late.
He knows. He has to know. Why else would he tell me?
This is a test. Has to be. He’s been watching me since the wedding, since Désamour, since fuck knows when. Every soft moment, every cracked-open conversation, every time he pulls me close and I let him. All of it fed into some larger calculation I haven’t cracked yet.
I need to fucking ground myself.
His face changes, all warmth draining from him until those pale eyes go flat and distant. I know it because I wear the same look every time I choose the job over everything else.
I turn before the guilt can finish climbing up my throat.
“Ivy.” His voice hardens.
“Asher...” I mimic without stopping.
I need to get away... space... the mountain.
“Don’t, Venom…” One word. All it takes is one damn word and I’m ready to reconsider everything.
I stop, staring at the wall and thinking over the options laid out in front of me.
He knows. He has to know.
Does he? Does he think I’m running back to Emeric to tell him? Am I? I did the first time he tried to tell me…
Every organ in my body turns to ice.
I spin back around slowly, closing the distance between us in three steps, grabbing the front of his hoodie with both fists. God, this fucking hurts. Everything between us sits seconds from crushing us both. The secrets, the lies, the games.
“I know...” I choke on the words, unable to give him any more.
He angles his head a little, and it’s enough to push me forward.
“I know...” I force out, the burn in my throat swallowing half of it. “Who Le Boucher Sans Loi is.”
Asher goes still.
If I don’t spew it all out, it’s going to keep rotting. “I know who’s been hunting your family for eleven years.”
My hands slip, falling to my sides. “I know because I think I helped him.”
“Who?” He comes closer.
I hold his stare. “It’s Emeric, Asher. My boss.”