Chapter 27
Riley
“I CAN’T.”
I’m jolted awake to the sound of my phone buzzing on the nightstand. It’s been months since it’s gone off, and it leaves me feeling extremely disoriented and confused in my sleepy state. Creed’s heavy arm tightens over my abdomen when I attempt to shift as I lift my head to glance at my screen.
I don’t get a chance to see before the call stops and the screen goes dark.
“Sleep, baby,” Creed mumbles into his pillow, pulling me closer. “Too early.”
He’s not wrong about that.
It’s a little after midnight, and the sun won’t rise for hours, but now I’m wide awake.
Creed got to be the middle spoon last night, and he was almost too excited to settle down between me and Collins.
It’s been a long few weeks since coming home between therapy sessions and trying to adapt to everyday life, but it feels like things are settling into a new normal for the three of us, and again for the five of us if we’re including Asher and Blair.
Creed’s tried to get me into the studio a few times, even just to try and familiarize myself with my drum set again, but I’ve vehemently refused. He doesn’t push me, though. A simple offer, and when I decline, he just smiles and moves on to the next task in his mind.
I know that I need to do it eventually, considering they’re trying to plan the U.S. leg of our tour. I haven’t even met the new manager yet, though it seems as if he’s a hit with all the guys. Creed loves him already, so that’s a plus.
“Shhh,” Creed shushes, sleepily padding the top of my hair. He tugs me deeper into his chest and buries his face in my neck. “You’re thinking too loud, Sweet Boy. Go back to sleep.”
His whispered words against my skin have me erupting in goosebumps, and I shiver against him. On the nights where he finds himself cuddled up against my back, he never fails to shove my shirt up so that we’re skin to skin.
The feel of his hard body against mine is different than snuggling up against Collins’ tiny frame, but it’s no less comforting…until I wiggle to settle into his warmth again, and my ass brushes against the hard length of his cock. My entire body heats, and suddenly, I’m not tired at all.
Memories start to flood my mind in rapid sequence.
Starting with the day Creed kissed me like his life depended on it after apologizing.
The way I craved more and dared to cling to him, silently begging for more.
All the kisses we’ve shared play in my mind, memories dancing all the way back to that night in the hotel when he grabbed my cock to help Collins sink down onto me.
Thoughts of imagining his hand wrapping around my length again flit through my brain, this time stroking me simply because he can’t hold himself back anymore.
I force my body to remain completely still, because if I move again, I’ll definitely brush his cock, and then it’ll be on me how Creed inevitably reacts.
Isn’t that what you want, though?
Obviously, I want Creed to touch me, but how much could I truly enjoy his touch without being able to touch him in return, let alone myself? I can’t even hold a fucking fork most days.
Creed tightens his grip, his arm sliding lower as he sleepily stretches himself out.
We both freeze when his hand brushes right over my raging hard-on.
My cock has been throbbing against my thigh for a while, and I had silently been thanking whatever higher power is out there that it doesn’t stick straight out or up when it’s hard.
Guess I sent my thanks out too soon because here we are.
He hisses an inaudible curse and brushes his palm over my length again, and I can’t stop the soft whimper that escapes my lips.
“This for me, baby?” he whispers roughly in my ear, and I shiver against him again as I nod.
His hips flex against mine as he lets out a growl, the sound a deep rattle that injects itself into my veins, sending a hot wave of arousal through my blood and straight to my cock.
“You two are killing me,” Collins murmurs as her tiny hand reaches over Creed to run her nails along my ribcage, down the back of my arm, and anywhere she can reach.
“Then why don’t you join the party, Stardust?
” Creed shifts, and Collins squeaks as her sugary sweet smell washes over me.
Her knee presses softly into my lower back, and it tells me that she’s now straddling him.
The sound of their kiss has me fighting the urge to grind my dick into the mattress just to find some relief.
I slowly turn, at first trying to just crane my neck to watch what they’re doing.
The room is dark, save for the moonlight that peeks through the drawn curtains across the room, lending minimal light to this moment.
My phone buzzes again, but this time, I ignore it, my body slowly rotating until I’m fully facing both Creed and Collins.
They’re so engrossed with one another, neither one of them pays any attention to the constant hum of the call, either.
Collins shifts, her hair falling around them, creating a curtain that conceals their faces.
While I understand that we’ll all have our own moments together, I know that what Creed is doing right now is intended to rile me up.
To force me to make a move. I know that he can tell that I’ve been hesitant in initiating affection, and now he’s trying to force my hand in his own way.
An odd wave of jealousy rushes through my body so fast, here and gone before I’ve even had time to process it. It’s not jealousy manifested from anger, it’s one of yearning. I want to be a part of this moment. I don’t want these two hidden from me.
Reaching up, I ignore the way the tremors have my hand shaking harder than it has in a long time, and I manage to messily tuck her hair up and behind her ear.
My heart pounds as Collins turns her face, leaning into my touch before she latches onto my thumb, her teeth lightly nipping and scraping over the tip before sucking it into her mouth.
There’s no stopping the way I whimper for her. Collins can turn me on with nothing more than a blink in my direction. I’ve been weak for this girl from the moment I laid eyes on her.
“Need you,” she whispers breathily as she releases my thumb. “Kiss me, please.”
There’s no hesitation when it comes to giving this beautiful girl anything she desires.
I push up onto my elbow and bring my face closer to hers.
My heart stops in my chest the moment she cups my face and presses her lips against mine.
It’s soft at first, but the energy between us begins to crackle with a fervent sort of power that I haven’t felt with her in months.
Their affection always breathes life into me, but I haven’t had Collins like this for what seems like too much of an eternity.
I’ve missed her. Missed the way her shy and quiet side fell by the wayside, making space for the part of her that craves control and passion when it’s just us behind closed doors.
Creed’s hand wedges beneath me and shoves upward until I’m situated on my knees beside him. The sensation of his hands roaming and exploring wherever he can reach has my heart pounding and blood rushing to my cock, causing it to throb almost painfully behind my boxers.
Collins’ hands grip my face, pulling me impossibly closer as my tongue brushes against her bottom lip.
She parts for me eagerly, accepting me as we meet in the middle.
Gone is the tenderness, in its place is a ravenous hunger that I’ve only ever felt with her and the man currently driving me insane with his touch.
Having Collins like this, needing me just as badly as I need her, feels like something finally clicking back into place that I’d been missing for so long.
Her hands leave my face as she trails a featherlight touch down my body, joining Creed’s beneath my shirt.
Their attention on my skin feels so fucking good.
I’ve been deprived of their affection for too goddamned long, and I’m aching for more.
Collins’ fingers dance along my arms until she reaches my hands, lacing our fingers together.
Breaking the kiss, she brings them to her lips and kisses the tips before placing them on her body beneath her own shirt in offering.
“Touch me, Riley.” Her chest rising and falling in quick little pants before she leans in to place a trail of kisses along my jaw down my neck.
I suck in a breath when she nips at my collarbone, and my hands start to move.
I’m so lost in kissing and exploring her body that I don’t even realize just how steady my hands are at this moment.
But with that realization, awareness creeps in, and it’s like the lusty spell I’d been pulled into disintegrates before me.
I try to force my problems from my head, to focus on the feel of her body beneath my hands, but the moment my hands reach the crescent of her breasts, the tremors return with a fucking vengance.
You’ll only hurt her.
The toxic voice in my head chimes.
Goddamnit, Riley.
The lust and love evaporate in one second, and by the next, panic and fear grip me tight. I feel like I can’t breathe all of a sudden, and I can’t even get out of my own skin fast enough.
“I’m—I’m sorry…” I mutter as I scurry out of bed, hitting my ass as my feet get tangled up in the sheets.
“Riley?” Collins’ voice is so fucking small that I can’t meet her eyes or I know that I’ll break.
“What’s wrong? What happened just now?” Creed asks, shifting to sit up in bed.
“I can’t…” I’m being choked by my own words that I can’t even form a decent response. An answer as to why I’m doing literally anything that isn’t touching the girl I love and have missed more than my very own next breath.