Chapter 30 Collins
Collins
“CAN YOU FEEL THE BEAT YET?”
Isit at the island in a daze, daydreaming about the mind-blowing sex that transpired between the three of us days ago, while slamming back Blair’s chaotic yet perfect blueberry muffins like nobody’s business, when Asher emerges, looking a little rough around the edges.
I don’t bother to hide my snicker, to which he rewards me with a middle finger as he fishes a mug from the coffee bar shelf.
They just got back home early this morning from some weekend-long meeting he had with the McTavish brothers.
“Morning,” I try to say, but it’s muffled around the massive bite in my mouth.
Asher chuckles as he turns and leans against the counter while he waits for his coffee. “Mornin—” He pulls a look of mock disgust when he sees the obliterated attempt at breakfast on my plate. “Did Blair cook that?”
I gather another bite and pop it in my mouth. “Yup,” I answer, popping the p. “As soon as he walked in the door, he raided the kitchen.”
He looks at me and sighs, turning back to grab his mug. “You don’t have to eat it just because he cooks it, you know. You won’t hurt his feelings.”
I roll my eyes and throw a crumb at him. “Don’t be mean.” Another bite. “Besides, they’re freaking amazing, despite how ugly they are.”
“What even is it?”
“It’s a muffin,” I say, widening my eyes, giving him a look that says duh.
“Right, well,” Asher hedges, but then his phone buzzes in his pocket, and his demeanor shifts when he checks the notification. He tries to hide it, but I know my brother and every face he makes.
“What’s wrong?” I ask, getting up to clean my plate. Asher takes it from me and starts to rinse it. After he’s scrubbed the same spot fifteen times, I put my hand on his forearm to stop him.
“Ash,” I say softly, and his eyes slam closed as he just stands there, breathing deeply through his nose, his thick arms gripping the edge of the sink. “What’s wrong?” I repeat.
“I need to go back up north today,” is all he says.
I back up a step, my heart sinking at his words.
Up north. In other words, back to those Scottish lords or whatever the hell they are.
“Again?” My brow furrows. “You literally just got back.”
“I know, Bug, but I have to.” He sighs heavily, swiping a hand over his eyes.
“Somebody, after all this time, reported Guy as missing this morning while we were on our way back. It was supposed to be taken care of, so I need to make sure they’re paid off and won’t come sniffing around here for you. ”
“You don’t have to go there, Ash. Can’t they take care of it?”
His chin drops to his chest. “I have to do this, Collins.”
He sounds so pained; it makes my heart squeeze. Touching his scruffy cheek, I encourage him to look at me. “It’s the very least I can do after…after I failed you so many times.”
Another crack appears in his toughened exterior.
I swipe my thumb over his cheek once before dropping my hand.
I’m quiet for a moment, chewing my lip, trying to choose my next words carefully.
It’s just the two of us in here this morning, and the soft hum of music from the other side of the house fills my ears.
It’s just Creed and Riley working this morning.
Blair is out with Ayla getting his nails done, and Bear likes to keep to himself until he’s needed.
“You know that going there isn’t going to earn my forgiveness, right?”
He flinches, but I quickly clarify, “I’ve already told you that there’s nothing to forgive.
We’re not superheroes, Ash. Every one of us is plainly and deeply human.
” I step into him and wrap my arms around his middle, my heart aching over how frantically his is beating.
Asher’s arms engulf me in a warm embrace, and he just holds me for a moment.
“Don’t punish yourself by doing this,” I whisper into the fabric of his shirt.
Stepping out of his hold, I look at my brother, not at all surprised to see the determined set of his chin still in place. I sigh and nod, wishing so desperately that I knew how to convince him that he’s not to blame for every bad thing in my past.
“I won’t be gone long,” he says, backing out of the kitchen.
I nod again, not sure what else to say to him. I know he can feel the uncontrollable disappointment rolling off of me, so he adds, “The boys were asking for you when I passed the studio earlier.”
I smirk, rolling my eyes, the mention of Riley and Creed working on music sparking some joy back into my morning. “Of course they are,”
“I’ll be back home soon, Bug,” he tosses over his shoulder and disappears from the kitchen. I laugh as he calls out over his shoulder. “Please keep B out of trouble, for the love of God.”
The music grows louder the closer I get to the studio.
I recognize the new melody instantly. I had heard it in passing.
Creed hums it when he’s hyper-focused on certain tasks and chores around the house.
I don’t think he realizes he does it, but I love hearing the timbre of his voice, so I just listen and soak in the beauty that spills from his lips.
What I’m hearing now is the piano version of what he’s been singing. When the music pauses, I take the opportunity to open and step through the door.
“There she is,” Creed croons from across the room. Right now, he’s behind the soundboard with his headphones on, tweaking and adjusting various dials and knobs.
He beckons me over with one hand while his head bobs to the rhythm that’s playing back in his headset.
I move to sit next to him, but he smoothly and effortlessly pulls me back into his lap.
I don’t fight him on it because with him is where I want to be, and I’d still wind up in his lap, even if I protested. So why deny the inevitable?
He kisses my cheek and continues to tweak the sound in his ears. “Missed you, Stardust,” he says a little too loudly, and it has me giggling as I take a look around the booth.
I gently move one of the cuffs off his ear so he can hear me.
“You saw me not even an hour ago.” He just huffs at my teasing and nuzzles into my neck. Chills break out over my skin with every warm breath that fans over my neck, and I sink back into him, reveling in his warmth and affection.
Things have been peaceful for the past few days.
Nightmares among the three of us are still completely unpredictable and still interrupt our sleep more often than not.
But at least the deprivation doesn’t get between us, and for that I’m grateful.
It feels as if the bond between the three of us has only deepened. Healed.
Especially between Creed and Riley.
Last night, I spent a good hour wearing myself out on the silks before deciding I was disgusting and needed a shower and some quality time with my guys.
A sneaky, selfish part of me was hoping I’d be able to witness another moment of Creed on his knees for Riley again like I did just nights ago. But alas, I didn't get the privilege.
Creed’s always been affectionate and fluid with his sexuality when it comes to Riley and me, but I was not prepared to see Riley’s cock buried deep in Creed’s throat. I wasn’t about to intrude on their…bonding moment, but I suddenly had a very hard time focusing on falling back asleep.
I know how expertly Creed can work my body with his tongue alone, and knowing that Riley was now getting the same treatment? System overload. I fucking love watching the two of them together so, I will be requesting a replay of that sometime in the very near future.
I don’t think either of them knows what I witnessed, but I doubt very much that they would have kept it from me anyway. They don’t owe me anything, nor do I expect them to tell me when they come together, either.
While we may all be in this relationship together, we each have our own bonds as pairs, too, and I will always respect that.
Doesn’t mean I don’t wanna watch it sometimes, though.
The look on Creed’s face as he looks me up and down tells me that he at least has an idea of what’s running through my mind right now.
That, combined with the fact that I’m now squirming in his lap gives it away.
His expression sobers a little when he looks up into the recording booth.
I follow his line of sight to find Riley sitting behind his drum set, his head bowed, headphones on, and fingers tapping out a rhythm while he listens to whatever Creed is playing back to him.
“It’s been a rough morning with him,” Creed admits, and my eyes snap to his, seeing the concern lingering there.
“Rough, how?”
“The adaptive equipment is helpful, but I think he’s still getting into his own head.
” I look at Riley behind his drum set. His grip is stronger, but I can see from here that there’s still a slight tremor to his hand as he listens to the beat, tapping the stick against the edge of the snare as he maps out the sounds.
Creed sighs, the heavy breath blowing out his nose. He’s usually the optimist between the three of us lately, so to see the sag in his shoulders and the tension lining his features, it has my heart flopping and my stomach sinking low in my gut.
I refocus my attention on Riley. He keeps tapping a button on his headset, and with every press, I notice the time on the soundboard starting over.
“This is what he’s hearing.” Creed carefully fits his headphones over my ears.
I wait patiently as Riley hits the button, starting the music over again.
These headphones are fucking amazing because immediately, I’m submerged in the incredible sound that Dark Sins has created.
It’s different from their other tracks; this one sounds more ethereal, more delicate, but somehow they’ve worked their magic because it’s heavy, too.
Creed’s voice fills my ears, and his words are like pure smoke injected directly into my veins.
He has such a beautiful, unique quality to his voice that not only brings me to my knees, but has me dripping wet for him every time.