Chapter 34
Riley
“YOU’RE FINE.”
“Iasked you a question,” is all my mother snaps in response.
My heart is thumping so hard in my chest, forcing the blood to whoosh at deafening levels in my ears.
She looks the same but tired. Her frown is more pronounced with wrinkles and fine lines, dark circles hanging heavily beneath her eyes.
Though I don’t understand why, considering all she could do was brag about how much better her life was without me, with each and every voicemail she left on my phone for years after I’d moved out and in with Creed.
I do my best to stand still and not shuffle from foot to foot. Trying to feel strong when just one look from her makes me feel three feet tall.
Stuffing my hands into my pockets, I try for nonchalance.
There’s no denying that seeing her again feels like my world has shifted on its axis, and a dizzy wave of longing sweeps over me.
She’s never treated me as anything more than the dirt beneath her shoe, but I can’t help the way my battered heart cries for the mother I wish had loved me the way I deserved.
I try to school my expression, and I can only hope that she believes it.
“I’m j-just having dinner with friends and…family.”
My mother has the nerve to look hurt by my words.
“Family?” she laughs, but there’s no humor behind it.
“What family, Riley? Because from where I’m standing, they’re nothing more than a bunch of money-grabbing delinquents who don’t know the meaning of the word loyalty.
” She tuts, crossing her arms over her chest; it’s then that I notice the uniform and name tag she’s wearing.
She works here.
My brows draw together, confused by her description. “Loyalty? Mom, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“You always were a dense little boy.” She scoffs. “Tell me, whose idea was it to swindle fifty thousand people out of their money? The disappearing act was one that I saw coming from a mile away, knowing you were a part of it, but nobody believed me when I tried to warn them.”
Her words hurt more than I expected them to. She’s been cruel to me my whole life, but it never gets easier to hear the vitriol flow so effortlessly from her lips.
“N-nobody swindled anybody, there was a—” A bang against the back door of the restaurant makes me jump, and I turn to see who it is, but it’s still closed.
“God, look at you,” Mom breathes. I hate how badly my heart yearns for those words to mean something kinder than she intends.
Turning around, I force myself to meet her icy glare.
She’s not looking at me, though. She’s staring directly at my scars.
My ear. “Some family you’ve found there, Riley Benjamin.
Real winners, the bunch. I can only imagine the shit they’ve dragged you into to come out looking like that. ”
The big metal door opens again, quietly this time, but I keep my eyes on my mother. The last thing I want to do is show her my scars again, let alone allow whoever is behind me to see the shame I wear anytime I’m in her presence.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about. They would never hurt me.”
“Right,” Mom says with a laugh, her eyes darting behind me before leveling her glare on me again. “Just like you’d never hurt anyone? You were always a stupid boy, but I didn’t believe you were that dense.”
My eyes sting from the cruelty of her words, and I take a step back. I’ve never intentionally hurt anyone, but my mother clears up any confusion real fast, like a swift blow to the gut.
“Mom—”
“I’ve seen the marks she bears. You think anybody will believe that it’s merely a coincidence that you two magically reappear, after months of silence, both covered in scars on your bodies? You think others can’t see the pain that girl hides?”
I rear back, realizing she’s talking about Collins. But the conclusions she’s drawing are like a knife to my heart.
She can’t mean…no.
“I would never—Mom, I-I love her—”
“You really are a disease, Riley. I see all the damage you’ve caused that girl plain as day,” she spits, sneering at me with a curl to her lip. “You hurt.”
Tears gather.
“Mom—”
“You destroy.”
“Stop—”
“You break and ruin and sully all that is good.”
“Please, Mom—”
Mom sneers at me, her lip curling in disgust. “You’re pathetic, and soon they’ll realize that I was right. Best to get out of their lives now before you ruin yet another family.”
The first, treacherous tear falls.
Then, chaos.
“You fucking bitch,”
“That’s enough—”
“Creed, wait!”
“Goddamnit!”
Several bodies fly around me in a cacophony of curses, snarls, and threats. I feel numb as hands fist the back of my shirt and tug. I don’t move, though. I’m stuck, rooted to the spot. The weight of my mother’s words settles over me like a ton of bricks.
A flash of pastel colors whirls in my periphery before a loud CRACK! echoes off the brick of the building before silence descends around us.
I’m jerked against a hard chest, and an arm bands around my waist, squeezing tight, but not painfully. Just enough to force my mind back into the present. I blink several times, clearing my eyes of the tears that blur my vision as the scene before me comes into clarity.
A quick glance down at the tattooed skin gripping my chest tells me that it’s Creed’s who’s got a hold on me.
I look back up at the sound of Collins growling the best she can at my mother, her hair is a wild mess around her face, and her hands are braced on the one arm that Bear has wrapped around her, hauling her away.
It doesn’t take long to put two and two together as my mom stands stock still, gripping a blooming red mark on her face while Bear slings a litany of curses at her as he backs away with a fuming Collins in his grip.
I can’t hear anything they’re saying, and time starts to feel choppy because suddenly, we’re all loaded into the back of Bear’s SUV.
Ayla is speaking frantically in the front while her brother listens intently.
Hands wipe at my face, trying to clear me of my tears, voices whisper sweet words into my ears and my neck as they nuzzle into me.
I have no idea how long the ride lasts or how I wind up in my own bed later, but when I finally settle back into myself, I’m alone and the door is locked.
Did I do that?
Checking my phone, I see I have six missed calls from my mother and three voicemails. I feel too tired to give her any more of my reactions, so I block her number and delete the messages without a second thought. I have a few texts from Ayla.
AYLA: I’m sorry about what happened to you. We were not aware that your mom worked at the restaurant, otherwise we never would have booked it.
ME: I know you wouldn’t have. I didn’t know either. Nothing to be sorry for.
Even my texts sound as numb as I feel.
AYLA: Bear took her phone when she pulled it from her pocket. Asher’s scanning it now to make sure she didn’t have anything harmful on it.
Would it matter if she did? The world is bound to find out what happened one way or another. Not that I want speculation to circulate before Collins and I have had the chance to set the story straight, but still. It’s inevitable.
I’m standing at my dresser, rummaging for something to wear after a shower, when a soft knock raps on the door. My head snaps to the side, but I don’t move to answer it.
“Yeah?” I call, continuing to dig, not really seeing what I’m looking at.
“Riley?” It’s Collins. “Can I come in?”
How could I possibly ever tell her no? I want to be alone, but I can’t stand the thought of being away from her either.
My hands tremble as I cross the room, squeezing my fists at my sides before cracking open the door. I’m practically plowed over when the door is shoved open and Creed barrels inside, Collins following timidly on his heels. Both of their arms are loaded with bowls and bags of snacks.
My snacks.
My secret snacks.
I look at Creed, who just shrugs as he pushes himself back against my headboard and drops his trove of sugar in the middle of the bed.
He helps Collins next, and she sets herself up at the end of the bed, tearing into the bag of M&M’s.
My gaze swings to her, and she just gives me a look that says What? and it pulls a quiet laugh from me.
“Enjoying yourself, Snow?” I ask, walking over and helping myself to a handful.
“Mhmm, immensely,” she answers around a mouthful of chocolate. “A deal’s a deal, and I needed my loot.”
“Fair is fair,” I grumble, but it’s lighthearted. Grabbing a random shirt and sweats from my dresser, I hike a thumb over my shoulder. “I was just going to shower real quick. This afternoon was…fucking weird, and everything’s a bit fuzzy, so I was going to…wash it off.”
I wince at just how awkward I sound, but it doesn’t deter Creed.
“Need a hand?” My face flames at the memory of the last time he offered to “help” me in the shower. I shake my head, though, and disappear into the bathroom before I can fully register the rejection on Collins’ face.
Zoned out, I wash myself over and over and over. Trying absentmindedly to cleanse my body and mind of my mother’s words. Disease. Ruin. Break. Destroy.
Scrub.
You’re fine.
Erase.
You’re fine.
Cleanse.
You’re. Completely. Fine.
COLLINS
Creed blows out a long, exasperated breath and runs his slender fingers through his messy, black strands. Leaning back to prop himself up on one elbow, he pops a handful of sour candy into his mouth and chews slowly.
My thoughts travel back to earlier this evening as I stare at the palm of my hand.
“His mom really is a cunt, isn’t she?”
Creed chokes over my words and starts to cough, his fist beating against his chest. I can’t stop the chuckle that bubbles up, and Creed throws one of his candies at me. I gape at him when it hits me square in the forehead. Another lands on my tongue, surprising me.