54. Chapter 54
Chapter 54
DECLAN
S he’s pissed. She has every right to be. I’m not real happy with myself either.
I can’t believe I just brought her and dropped her off in the middle of nowhere. Most of my texts wouldn’t even go through to her stupid phone. I hadn’t heard her voice in days, and I hadn’t slept either. And I was doing a shit job helping my brothers with Lexington because I was too preoccupied and wondering if she was okay.
They’d had enough of me, and this morning it had been Axel who was the voice of reason, after he had slammed me against the wall. “Go get your fucking woman and some sleep, and then come back here when you’ve got your fucking head on straight,” he’d told me.
And so I did.
We’ve been in the car for about half an hour, and she hasn’t spoken or looked at me. She just looks out the window. And I’m not sure what to do. Do I talk to her? I feel like she might jump out of the car if I do. I want to hold her hand, but I can tell she is so tense right now that if I touch her, she may claw out my eyes.
So I just drive, and look over to her every now and then. Part of me wonders if I should have just let her talk when we were at the cabin, let her get whatever has festered between us out in the open and leave it locked there when we left. But wanting to get her out of there had been my priority in that moment.
There has been no more word from Lexington since the night we met face-to-face, but I have guys watching him. He may have just threatened me to get me to leave him alone. But I’m not going to do that. Keep your enemies closer and all that.
When we get home, she gets out of the car as soon as it is in park. Then she is inside the apartment before I get myself out of the car.
I really fucked up.
I go inside and see that she is in the bathroom, so I sit on the couch and wait for her to come out, rehearsing my apology in my head. When the door opens, I get up, but one look at her face and I am thinking maybe I should get on my knees. “Vivian, I—”
“Declan, I am telling you right now, if you ever bring me somewhere and leave me there with a fucking Tracfone and don’t answer your phone, I’m gone.”
It hurts. I’d rather she had slapped me across the face, but I take it. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know what else to do,” I admit.
“We need to work together,” she says. “Is everything better?”
I shake my head. “No, we are still working on things behind the scenes.”
“Well, all that would make a lot more sense if I knew what the fuck you guys were working on,” she points out. She breathes heavily, fuming mad, and paces around a bit. “I am glad to be home,” she says softly after a while.
“I’m glad you’re here too,” I say. I ache to touch her. But I see the anger in her face, her body, her eyes.
Vivian suddenly walks over to me and slides her arms around me, and I cautiously wrap my arms around her back. I feel her shake as she cries, and I hold her tighter.
“I love you, Vivian. I’m sorry I did that, but everything I do is because I love you.”
Vivian leans her head back, her cheeks tear-stained. “I love you too, Declan. But this isn’t the way to do this, to keep me safe.”
I wipe her cheeks with my fingers. “I don’t know what to do; this is all new to me. Axel and Slade can handle themselves, and my dad could do the same until recently. I sent Dad and Roman away because I saw the danger coming, and when you got mentioned in this whole thing, it was all I could think to do.”
“I know you meant well, but I can’t live this way,” she says. “I have been shuffled around my whole life, Declan. Those people wanted to protect me too, and they didn’t talk to me, because I was a child. I’m not a child anymore. I deserve a say in my life, so you need to give me a say from now on.”
I nod. “I get it; I fucked up. I’m sorry. I’ll try harder,” I promise.
“Thank you,” she says, curling into me again.
And for a minute, I think I may get it all right after all.